Open List Gutter and Woods Outback Policy

["Shadow" <Shadowlander1@xxxxxxx>]

TO: All interested parties.
FROM: The Director of Public Safety.
SUBJECT: Open List Gutter and Woods Outback Policy.

It has my attention that we actually have people wanting to move into
the List Gutter and Woods Outback, and are a bit confused on admission.
To clear things up I will go over the requirements of List Gutter and
Woods Outback dwelling... there are none. Any and all are welcomed to
move in and set up shop at any moment. We only ask that you read over
and follow the Gutter Rules and Regulations, as much as possible.

Number 1:
No taunting, poking or making eye contact with the trained attack
lawyers. They are notoriously ill-tempered and without any sense of
humour whatsoever, while we are not sure if this is a genetic trait or
is a conditioned response, we ask that no one but the trained attack
lawyer handlers do any poking.

Number 2:
Rodrigo, our ever absent and quite mad listdad, is not a well man and
nothing he says should be taken too seriously... of course the same
thing could be said about me at times. Just remember that the only one
authorized to torture people with wet noodles is the Committee's
Security Chief and Wet Noodle Master of the Universe, Quin... unless he
lets you borrow them.

Number 3:
Do not buy any tickets to the all-nude slayer musical "Stakes for the
Memories", no such musical exists or will ever exist. The so-called
stage production is the product of the mad ramblings of one of our more
eccentric members with a passion for show tunes and nudity.

Number 4:
Please respect the members of the B/R lets all get along organization
and the W/O 4life shippers... we do not discriminate in the List Gutter
and Woods Outback, as long as everyone obeys the Gutter's rules and
regulations they are welcome. However, the W/R 4ever shippers are rabid
cultists who are determined to spread their faith and totally disregard
the Gutter's rules and regulations. They, being the W/R shippers, are
fair game for mass spontaneous tar and featherings whenever stumbled
upon.

Number 5:
All state and local laws on the consumption of alcohol and operation of
motored vehicles are in effect for the List Gutter and Woods Outback,
although our penalties are a bit harsher. If caught endangering the
general public while in a drunken state you will be tied to a chair and
forced to watch Donny and Maria, the Partridge Family, and the Brady
Brunch reruns on a wide screen television for an entire month. For
repeat offenders you get two months of Barney, the Teletubbies, and, Bob
Ross, that annoying guy on PBS that does all those landscape paintings
and speaks in monotones.

Number 6:
For the citizens of the Woods Outback, there is no taunting, teasing, or
the stealing of cloths of lovesick teenagers skinny-dipping in the big
pond. These kids have to live over the Hellmouth and deal with
troll-like principals on a daily basis, messing with them while they are
naked in the big pond is just cruel. While we are wild animals, we are
not sadistic, leave the poor teenagers be, not many of them are going to
be able to make it back to town still mortal, so give them a break while
they are still human.

That about covers the rules and regulations of the List Gutter and Woods
Outback, we are a pretty ease going bunch who love to stir up mischief
and mayhem every now and then with a few of our closest
partners-in-mischief and mayhem spreading. To join the Committee just
drop us a note on-list on what department you're laying claim to. As of
now there is no set guidelines on what and then to post memos or reports
from your respective departments; just be aware that we do like to hear
from you at least once a month just to know if you're still alive or it
the W/R 4ever shippers have captured you and brainwashed you into
becoming one of them. In the event of the latter happening rest assured
that we will recapture you and deprogram you, this service is provided
free of charge by the Brooklyn Biker Nuns of St. Bartholomew's and the
Holy Thunder Biker Club and Demon Hunters.

If there are any further questions please do not hesitate to ask. That
is all, we now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic.

Shadow -
Dir. of Pub. Safety of the SECLGA and Chief Dungeon Keeper.
Vampire Teddy Bear and Flying Fox {Fruit Bat} of the Woods Outback.
The Big Bad and Little Comma.