Fic; "The Slayer Fox"

[Jim_D_Means@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Look out guys, it's my turn to visit the forest!


Disclaimers;
Buffy and gang are owned by Joss Whedon. The animal versions are created by Shadowmage. I'm just playing in the forest, no harm done.

Author's note;
I had this sucker stuck in my brain for weeks now, and I'm finally putting it on paper. I would like to apologize in advance to Rob Reiner, William Goldman, and Shyfox. Don't take this one seriously, it ain't worth it.

Feedback;
Better than band candy! Jim_D_Means@xxxxxxxxxxx

Summary;
Someone has kidnapped one of the denizens of the Forest, but who is her mysterious Savior?

========
THE PRINCESS FOX
By Kirayoshi
========

"Buffy! Buffy!" A red-furred fox scampered toward the warren she shared with her lover, a blonde rabbit. Buffy emerged from her hole as the frightened fox ran toward her.

"Willow, what is it?" she asked her companion. "Your slight but sturdy frame is all a-tremble."

"It's my cousin, the shy fox!" Willow answered hurriedly. "She's been kidnapped!"

Buffy held her friend in her forearms, calming her down. "Easy, Wills, easy. Are you sure she's been kidnapped? She could just be out alone."

"When I went to visit her," Willow replied, panting for breath, "her place was a mess, and I noticed bits of red fur stuck on her entrance hole. It looked like she was fighting someone. Ooh, something bad's gonna happen to her, Buffy."

"Not if I have any say in the matter," the determined rabbit told her love. "No one hurts my friends. We'll get her back."

As Buffy and Willow ran off to find out what happened to their friend, they were unaware of a figure perched in the trees above them. A feathered figure in a black mask.

========

Two hours later;

Spike the Vampire Shark snarled when he saw the masked figure flying toward him. After all the trouble he went through to kidnap the shy young fox and bring her here past the Shrieking Eels and the Cliffs of Insanity, his two cohorts, the swordmistress Drusilla and the giant Adam, had been bested by this strange figure that now flew toward him. His face obscured by the mask he wore, he soared over his head on bright blue wings like a seasoned predator.

Spike, however, was still confident of the outcome of this battle. "If you wish to see her killed," he announced to his adversary, "by all means, keep flying over me."

The bird lighted next to Spike on the bench where he had kept the fox, a knife held at her slender throat. "I'm sure we can come to an arrangement, my friend." the bird offered.

"I don't think so, my feathered friend," Spike smiled. "I've been paid good money to deliver the Shyfox to the Buffy/Riley Shipper Tribe. They wish to have words with her for her refusal to write Riley in any of her stories."

"And this is a bad thing how?" the masked bird asked.

"Very funny, wings," Spike answered. "But you and I are at an impasse. You've defeated my Spaniard, and my giant--"

"Wait," the bird asked. "She was Spanish?"

"Well, she makes a mean spanish omlette, okay?" Spike gave off an exasperated sigh. "The point I was trying to make is, clearly I cannot compete with you physically, and you are no match for my intellect."

"Are you that smart?"

"Let me put it this way. You've heard of Aristotle, Socrates, Michaelangelo? Morons!"

"Is that so? Then I propose a contest of wits."

"For the fox?"

"For the fox."

"To the death?"

"To the death."

"I accept."

"Then pour the wine." As Spike poured two goblets of wine, the Bird in Black withdrew a vial from his belt. He handed the vial to Spike, instructing, "Inhale this but don't--"

Spike took the vial and swallowed it.

"--touch."

Three seconds later, the Bird in Black stepped over the dead body of the Vampire shark, and undid the bonds that held the shy fox with his beak. As the fox removed her blindfold and asked, "Who are you?"

"I am no one to be trifled with," the Bird in Black said, "that is all you ever need know about me."

"But what happened to Spike?" the fox asked.

"I was going to challenge him with the old 'iocane powder in the wine-glass' trick, but he took all the iocane without reading the label. Dumber than advertized." With that, the Bird in Black took the shy fox's paw in his claws and flew off, low to the ground, forcing the fox to follow.

========

Buffy and Willow had gathered Xander, Giles, Sam the Koala and Kimber the road runner to help locate Willow's cousin. "Someone has beaten a giant cyborg," Giles commented as he witnessed the wreckage before him. "There will be great suffering in the Buffy/Riley tribe if the fox is harmed," he declared. "And I'm just the blighter to do it. I remember when Snoopy and I were pursuing the Red Baron over Ypres--"

"Oh god," Xander lamented, as the old owl continued his trip down memory lane. "Not another Snoopy story!"

"Buck up, friend," Buffy consoled the escaped circus monkey. "He's still the best tracker in the woods. If anyone can find Willow's cousin, it's him."

========

The shy fox pulled her paw away from the Bird's foot, and ran from him. "Get away from me," she shouted when he pursued. "I know who you are, your cruelity reveals everything! You're the Dread Parrot Roberts! Admit it!"

"With pride," the parrot bowed before the fox. "What can I do for you?"

"You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces."

The parrot smiled grimly at the fox. "Why loose your venom on me?"

"You killed my love," she declared bitterly.

"It's possible," he admitted, "I kill a lot of people. Was this some wolf, rich and scabby?"

"No, he was poor, poor and perfect." She collected herself from the memory of her lost love and shouted, "On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Parrot Roberts never takes prisoners!"

"Well I can't afford to make exceptions," the Parrot defended himself. "If word got out that a pirate has gone soft, people stop obeying you, then it's work, work, work--"

"Don't mock me!" the fox screamed. "I died that day!" Glancing over the Dread Parrot Roberts' shoulder, she noticed the search party, led by Willow and the Bunny Slayer. Pushing the Parrot down the hill, she muttered, "And you can die too, for all I care!"

As the parrot rolled end over end down the hill, he shouted back to the fox; "As....you....wish!"

The fox suddenly recognized the voice, the eyes, the words of the parrot. "Oh my sweet Kirayoshi! What have I done?" She immediately ran down toward the fallen parrot, tripping over some stones, until she was rolling as he had been. 

He met her as she fell to the bottom of the ravine. "Shy fox," he called to her, removing his mask. "Can you move?"

The fox wrapped her forearms around the parrot's neck, crying happily. "Kirayoshi, you're alive! If you want, I could fly." She kissed his face happily, and he reciprocated, at least as far as you can kiss when you have a beak for a mouth.

By this time, Buffy and the others had caught up with the bird and the fox. Willow called out to her cousin, forcing her to break away from her love. "Shyfox! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Willow," the shy fox answered. "Oh, guys, this is my old boyfriend who I thought was dead, but isn't, he's just a parrot pirate now, Kirayoshi."

"Pleased to meet you," Giles said, offering his wing to this new friend. "Nice to have another bird in the woods. Was it you who killed that dreadful vampire shark Spike?"

"I suppose it was," he admitted.

"Bully, bully," Giles announced. "Come on over to my place sometime, we'll open up a bottle of Jack Daniels and tell ripping tales of our adventures." As he spoke, Kirayoshi caught sight of all the other animals shaking their heads vigorously, urging him to turn down the invitation.

"Thanks anyway," he demurred, not wanting to seem rude. "Maybe later. Right now, I want to be alone with my beloved Shyfox." And he nuzzled his beak together with the fox's snout, and the other animals were happy to see their friend happy and in love.

With one slight exception; Kimber turned her head away and complained to Sam, "Geez, they're kissing again. Do we have to see the kissing?"


Willow: "Yeah, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night."
Xander;
Disclaimers;
Buffy and gang are owned by Joss Whedon. The animal versions are created by Shadowmage. I'm just playing in the forest, no harm done.

Author's note;
I had this sucker stuck in my brain for weeks now, and I'm finally putting it on paper. I would like to apologize in advance to Rob Reiner, William Goldman, and Shyfox. Don't take this one seriously, it ain't worth it.

Feedback;
Better than band candy! Jim_D_Means@xxxxxxxxxxx

Summary;
Someone has kidnapped one of the denizens of the Forest, but who is her mysterious Savior?

========
THE PRINCESS FOX
By Kirayoshi
========

"Buffy! Buffy!" A red-furred fox scampered toward the warren she shared with her lover, a blonde rabbit. Buffy emerged from her hole as the frightened fox ran toward her.

"Willow, what is it?" she asked her companion. "Your slight but sturdy frame is all a-tremble."

"It's my cousin, the shy fox!" Willow answered hurriedly. "She's been kidnapped!"

Buffy held her friend in her forearms, calming her down. "Easy, Wills, easy. Are you sure she's been kidnapped? She could just be out alone."

"When I went to visit her," Willow replied, panting for breath, "her place was a mess, and I noticed bits of red fur stuck on her entrance hole. It looked like she was fighting someone. Ooh, something bad's gonna happen to her, Buffy."

"Not if I have any say in the matter," the determined rabbit told her love. "No one hurts my friends. We'll get her back."

As Buffy and Willow ran off to find out what happened to their friend, they were unaware of a figure perched in the trees above them. A feathered figure in a black mask.

========

Two hours later;

Spike the Vampire Shark snarled when he saw the masked figure flying toward him. After all the trouble he went through to kidnap the shy young fox and bring her here past the Shrieking Eels and the Cliffs of Insanity, his two cohorts, the swordmistress Drusilla and the giant Adam, had been bested by this strange figure that now flew toward him. His face obscured by the mask he wore, he soared over his head on bright blue wings like a seasoned predator.

Spike, however, was still confident of the outcome of this battle. "If you wish to see her killed," he announced to his adversary, "by all means, keep flying over me."

The bird lighted next to Spike on the bench where he had kept the fox, a knife held at her slender throat. "I'm sure we can come to an arrangement, my friend." the bird offered.

"I don't think so, my feathered friend," Spike smiled. "I've been paid good money to deliver the Shyfox to the Buffy/Riley Shipper Tribe. They wish to have words with her for her refusal to write Riley in any of her stories."

"And this is a bad thing how?" the masked bird asked.

"Very funny, wings," Spike answered. "But you and I are at an impasse. You've defeated my Spaniard, and my giant--"

"Wait," the bird asked. "She was Spanish?"

"Well, she makes a mean spanish omlette, okay?" Spike gave off an exasperated sigh. "The point I was trying to make is, clearly I cannot compete with you physically, and you are no match for my intellect."

"Are you that smart?"

"Let me put it this way. You've heard of Aristotle, Socrates, Michaelangelo? Morons!"

"Is that so? Then I propose a contest of wits."

"For the fox?"

"For the fox."

"To the death?"

"To the death."

"I accept."

"Then pour the wine." As Spike poured two goblets of wine, the Bird in Black withdrew a vial from his belt. He handed the vial to Spike, instructing, "Inhale this but don't--"

Spike took the vial and swallowed it.

"--touch."

Three seconds later, the Bird in Black stepped over the dead body of the Vampire shark, and undid the bonds that held the shy fox with his beak. As the fox removed her blindfold and asked, "Who are you?"

"I am no one to be trifled with," the Bird in Black said, "that is all you ever need know about me."

"But what happened to Spike?" the fox asked.

"I was going to challenge him with the old 'iocane powder in the wine-glass' trick, but he took all the iocane without reading the label. Dumber than advertized." With that, the Bird in Black took the shy fox's paw in his claws and flew off, low to the ground, forcing the fox to follow.

========

Buffy and Willow had gathered Xander, Giles, Sam the Koala and Kimber the road runner to help locate Willow's cousin. "Someone has beaten a giant cyborg," Giles commented as he witnessed the wreckage before him. "There will be great suffering in the Buffy/Riley tribe if the fox is harmed," he declared. "And I'm just the blighter to do it. I remember when Snoopy and I were pursuing the Red Baron over Ypres--"

"Oh god," Xander lamented, as the old owl continued his trip down memory lane. "Not another Snoopy story!"

"Buck up, friend," Buffy consoled the escaped circus monkey. "He's still the best tracker in the woods. If anyone can find Willow's cousin, it's him."

========

The shy fox pulled her paw away from the Bird's foot, and ran from him. "Get away from me," she shouted when he pursued. "I know who you are, your cruelity reveals everything! You're the Dread Parrot Roberts! Admit it!"

"With pride," the parrot bowed before the fox. "What can I do for you?"

"You can die slowly, cut into a thousand pieces."

The parrot smiled grimly at the fox. "Why loose your venom on me?"

"You killed my love," she declared bitterly.

"It's possible," he admitted, "I kill a lot of people. Was this some wolf, rich and scabby?"

"No, he was poor, poor and perfect." She collected herself from the memory of her lost love and shouted, "On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Parrot Roberts never takes prisoners!"

"Well I can't afford to make exceptions," the Parrot defended himself. "If word got out that a pirate has gone soft, people stop obeying you, then it's work, work, work--"

"Don't mock me!" the fox screamed. "I died that day!" Glancing over the Dread Parrot Roberts' shoulder, she noticed the search party, led by Willow and the Bunny Slayer. Pushing the Parrot down the hill, she muttered, "And you can die too, for all I care!"

As the parrot rolled end over end down the hill, he shouted back to the fox; "As....you....wish!"

The fox suddenly recognized the voice, the eyes, the words of the parrot. "Oh my sweet Kirayoshi! What have I done?" She immediately ran down toward the fallen parrot, tripping over some stones, until she was rolling as he had been. 

He met her as she fell to the bottom of the ravine. "Shy fox," he called to her, removing his mask. "Can you move?"

The fox wrapped her forearms around the parrot's neck, crying happily. "Kirayoshi, you're alive! If you want, I could fly." She kissed his face happily, and he reciprocated, at least as far as you can kiss when you have a beak for a mouth.

By this time, Buffy and the others had caught up with the bird and the fox. Willow called out to her cousin, forcing her to break away from her love. "Shyfox! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Willow," the shy fox answered. "Oh, guys, this is my old boyfriend who I thought was dead, but isn't, he's just a parrot pirate now, Kirayoshi."

"Pleased to meet you," Giles said, offering his wing to this new friend. "Nice to have another bird in the woods. Was it you who killed that dreadful vampire shark Spike?"

"I suppose it was," he admitted.

"Bully, bully," Giles announced. "Come on over to my place sometime, we'll open up a bottle of Jack Daniels and tell ripping tales of our adventures." As he spoke, Kirayoshi caught sight of all the other animals shaking their heads vigorously, urging him to turn down the invitation.

"Thanks anyway," he demurred, not wanting to seem rude. "Maybe later. Right now, I want to be alone with my beloved Shyfox." And he nuzzled his beak together with the fox's snout, and the other animals were happy to see their friend happy and in love.

With one slight exception; Kimber turned her head away and complained to Sam, "Geez, they're kissing again. Do we have to see the kissing?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oz is a werewolf."
"It's a long story."
"Got bit."
"Apparantly not that long."
--"Faith Hope and Trick"




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