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FIC: Destiny Achieved (1/?); The Thorn Filled Path
Destiny Achieved
Part 1 - The Thorn Filled Path
Disclaimers: I don?t own Buffy and company, they belong to King Joss and his knights of the Mutant Enemy. I am only taking them out to play for a while. I promise they?ll be home by curfew.
Spoilers: This is set about three months after ?New Moon Rising? but I only make few reference about it.
Rating: PG? I?m not sure but I think there is a few bad words thrown into this one. And there is still no sign of wild monkey love anywhere.
Summary: Willow and Tara were happier than ever. But Buffy has made a mess of everything, or so she thinks. In her greatest moment of stupidity she has confessed her love to Willow. Tara heard it all. Will Tara remain with Willow? Who will Willow finally choose? The girls have had their time to think, now lets see what the future hold.
Author's Note: I know that I said Riley didn't exist in this Buffyverse but I've changed my mind. It is only the 'Initiative' (hope I spelled that right) that doesn't exist. I'm just trying something here. Hopefully Riley's presence will produce the desired effect for a crucial scene.
On a second note, if anyone hasn't noticed this is my first attempt at FanFiction. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.
>>Indicate thought<<
Destiny Achieved
Part 1 - The Thorn Filled Path
By Crazzy Nut
* * * * * * *
It was almost a constant now, Buffy would fall asleep thinking only of Willow. >>I should?ve kept quiet<< was all she kept repeating to herself as she tossed and turned all night. But tonight as she pulled herself from sleep things had changed. She awoke to an empty place. Not only was there nothing around her, but she also appeared to be nowhere.
"Great! This is just peachy. Out of all the terrible nightmares I have, the one night I?m at peace I end up dreaming about ?nothing?. I could just here it now, ?So, any prophetic dreams tonight Buff? I dreamt of nothing. Well that?s cool, you don?t have to dream them up every night. No, I did dream but it was of ?nothing?. I?d love to see Xander?s face as he tried to figure that one out."
After a forced laughter she remained in silence for what felt like an eternity. In reality it was only seconds before fear began to sink in. She could face vampires and demons galore, but being alone was her worst fear. Her worst nightmare was coming true as she quickly grew uncomfortable with her situation.
"Hello!" she yelled out in desperation, "Is anyone here?" And in order to hide her fear she did the only thing she could think of. "You do know that I am the Slayer, don?t you? So why don?t you just come out and I?ll promise to make it as painful as possible when I kick your ass!"
"There is no need to get angry little one. Hostility will prove nothing here," said the softest voice Buffy had ever heard. For a moment she was at ease, but only for that moment.
"Well, there?s a first time for everything," she said lunging herself and the appearing figure. But she didn?t get far. She stay motionless in her last position. This thing had paralyzed her, fear came again. "What the fuck! I?m going to kill you. Who the hell are you?" looking around she finished, "Where the fuck am I?"
"Do not fear little one. No harm will come to you here. In contrary I am here to help you." responded the voice seeing the fear in Buffy?s eyes.
Buffy almost laughed at the words, "You, help me? I don?t need anyone?s help," she said trying to struggling in the hold. "What the hell did you do to me? Let me go."
"As you wish," came the soft reply as Buffy regained her movements. "Please be calm little one," said the soft voice.
Buffy was now getting really angry, "Don?t tell me to be calm. I asked you where I was and who you were."
"Answers are unimportant, just know that I am here to help you," said the voice again.
"Fine! You want to help me, that?s great. How about you start by getting me out of here," stated the irate slayer.
"You know that, that is not the help I speak of. You need help Buffy and I?m here to help you," stated the still calm voice.
"I said I don?t need...how did you know my name? I never told you my name, how did you know?" asked the newly frightened slayer.
"I know all, little one," was the only reply.
"Really?" said a now annoyed Buffy. "If you know so much then what the hell do I need help with?"
"Love," was the one word reply.
"What?" was all Buffy could get out.
"You are destined for greatness, little one. But only at the side of your eternal love can you achieve this," answered the voice.
"Eternal love, well that?s a good one. I don?t even have a boyfriend...girlfriend?" thinking this over Buffy only grew more agitated, "Who cares!" came the frustrated reply.
"Do not deny yourself. Only with the help of your soul?s mate can you achieve what you are destined for," said the soft voice trying to comfort Buffy.
At the final mention of ?Eternal Love? and ?Soul?s Mate? Buffy grew quiet. In that moment all she could do was think of Willow. Every smile, every touch, all their time together both good and bad. Then she thought of all the missed opportunities.
"I?m scared," she finally whispered. "I am not worthy of the one person I truly love. All I?ve done is mess up her life. She was happy...I feel so lost," she finished in tears.
"There, there little one. There is no need for tears. You are not lost, never have been. The path of love will always be painful. Every hurtful word, ever missed opportunity, all like thorns piercing through your skin. But you cannot be discouraged." said the comforting voice.
"I can?t go on," whispered Buffy again.
"You will go on, you must," came the reply.
"But..." was all Buffy could get out before she was interrupted.
"Your heart is strong, as your love is true, little one. Let your heart continue to guide your way. Follow wherever your heart leads, it is and always has been your strongest weapon," stated the voice matter o? factly.
"But I?ve messed everything up. It?s too late," was the slayer?s painful reply.
"It is never too late, little one," said the voice. And even though she couldn?t see the figure Buffy was sure she was smiling.
But she was still full of doubt, "What if my heart leads me astray? Then what? How will I know that I am on the right path?"
"Your heart will not fail, little one. Your path is laid before you, now you must follow it," was the last thing Buffy heard before waking up in a cold sweat.
*****
"It seemed so really," she said looking around her lonely room.
Willow had left early again. The red head had been doing that a couple of days now, ever since...since that night. It was clear to Buffy that Willow was avoiding her. She would get to bed early to avoid conversation with Buffy or she would spend the night at Tara?s. >>This must be the most time they?ve ever spent together<< thought the depressed slayer.
"Oh Willow. I am so very sorry for hurting you," she said to an empty room.
Then she laid back on her bed only to find her pillow was wet. >>I was crying in my sleep?<< she asked herself before everything came back to her. As all the words came crashing down on her she knew she had to talk with someone.
>>Not Giles<< was her first thought. >>I need help with matters of the heart.<<
"Besides," she said finally getting out of bed, "he has enough to deal without my relationship problems with
Willow."
Getting dressed she kept thinking until she finally knew her answer, "Yes, perfect!"
In less than an hour she was dressed and out the door heading home.
~~Summer?s Residence not much later~~
"Why must you make this so difficult?!" came the angry reply.
What began as a simple question had quickly escalated to the current yelling match. Little did either know this would change all their lives forever.
"I have not made anything difficult, you have!" came the equally loud response.
The passing neighbors quickened their pace as the yells continued to pour out of the Summer?s residence.
"What?! You think I chose this?! You think that one day I just got out of bed and decided this is what I wanted?! Well I didn?t, it just happened! This is just how I feel!" was Buffy?s desperate reply.
"No it isn?t!" came Joyce?s even quicker response.
"Yes it is Mom! Willow is the most important person in my life. Why can?t you just be happy for me? I thought I could come to you for advice," said an almost pleading Buffy.
Joyce didn?t care, "Advice? You want advice?! How about you find yourself a decent boyfriend, at least one with a pulse! Like that nice Finn boy, what's wrong with him?"
"I can?t believe you just said that," came the shocked reply. "Angel has nothing to do with this, at all! Can?t you get over it?! It was a mistake, but I?ll never regret it! As for the 'FINN' boy, he's a fucking fag mom! Where the hell do you think him and his buddys go all night? Do you really think they're that close and only 'friends'? They're all mudpackers mom!"
Joyce was shocked but Buffy didn't care she was on a roll. "Right now I am talking about Willow, mom! Willow, not someone I randomly picked up off the street."
"It?s the same difference," came Joyce?s disgusted reply.
"Why? How can you even say that?" asked a desperate Buffy.
"Because she?s a GIRL Buffy! Why don?t you understand me?" was Joyce?s final answer.
In that moment Buffy knew what she had to do, "You know what? FINE!!! I thought I could come and talk to you, but I was wrong. For God's sake, you would rather I hook up with a queer. I am not going to stand her and let you talk bad about Willow or Angel. I refuse to keep fighting with you, I can never win. I?m out of here."
With that said Buffy rushed out of her house slamming the door behind her. By the time she reached her car she was in tears. How she had hoped that her mom could help her. Never could she have expect the response she had just received. Her mom had eventually accepted the ?Slayer issue?, this was nothing compared to that. And how could she even bring Angel into their conversation? She needed to leave.
"Stop crying," she told herself as she pulled onto the road. "I need to think, clear my mind. I need to get out of here. I just want to be alone," were her last words as drove away. She didn?t know where she was going but she was now more determined than ever.
~~Willow?s dorm room, not much later~~
The two girls sat in silence deep in thought. At one time this activity would be greatly welcomed, but things had changed. Things were different and both girls knew it. Nothing would ever be the same.
No longer able to remain in the deafening silence Tara finally spoke, "Willow, we need to talk," five little words that would change all their lives forever.
It was inevitable and the red head knew this. With those dreadful words out in the open she knew she had to make her decision, today. "I know," came the quiet reply.
"I can?t keep this up anymore," was all Tara managed before breaking down into tears.
"I am so sorry Tara. I never meant...I didn?t know..." began Willow before Tara cut her off.
"I did," Tara whispered. "I could see how happy you were when you were together. I could see it in your eyes. I thought you two were together, then you showed up at my door. Even then I could see it in your eyes.?
"Tara..." Willow tried to interrupt.
"No Willow," Tara continued, "let me finish. I pretended that I was the only one. I pretended that it was me making you so happy. And when you didn?t go back to Oz I almost believed it."
"Tara please," Willow finally managed. "Buffy is my best friend. I love you Tara, I really do."
"I know you love me Willow," Tara answered, "But your heart belongs to another. It always has and it always will. You love me as a friend but you are IN love with her."
"Please Tara, you don?t know what you?re saying," tried Willow.
"But I do," answered Tara. "Finally, I truly understand. Things have never been clearer."
"What...what are you saying?" asked a frightened Willow.
"This," Tara said indicating to herself and Willow, "us, we can?t be anymore. I love you Willow, I love you enough to step aside."
"But I want to be with you," attempted Willow.
"Do not deny your destiny Willow. Only at her side can you be truly happy," said a once again crying Tara.
Willow stood in silence. She was sad and scared but more than anything she was confused. Yes she loved Buffy, but she was with Tara. She wanted to stay with Tara, didn?t she?
"Tara I?m sorry," was all she could say.
"Never regret love Willow. We?ll still be friends," started Tara.
"Always," finished Willow hugging her first girlfriend.
"But you need to be with her now," whispered Tara as she pulled away.
"Please don?t go,' pleaded Willow.
"I have to Willow and you need to go to her," responded Tara turning away towards the door.
"I don?t know..." began Willow.
"You?ll find her. She?ll come to you," said Tara opening the door.
"I love you..." was all Willow could say as Tara stepped into the hall.
"Always," whispered Tara as she closed the door behind her. Only in the hall could she release her true emotions. She headed quickly to her room where she could cry alone.
*****
In her dorm room Willow sat in silence. She cried, a little, but the tears had already finished and she didn?t know why. This is what confused her the most. >>I just broke up with Tara. Shouldn?t this hurt more?<< she asked herself. But there was nothing more she could do at the time. >>A little nap?<< she asked herself. >>Yes that would be good<< she concluded. >>Buffy and I will need to talk this through all night<< was her finally thought as she drifted fast to sleep.
~~Late that night, still at the dorms~~
Buffy had been driving for hours, she never knew just how big Sunnydale really was. She had spent most of the day walking the cemeteries. Everything seemed so peaceful, not a vamp in sight. But it was dark now and she was heading home, to Willow. She had made her decision and nothing could change it. She needed to talk to Willow, she had to find her. >>Willow where are you? Please be home, please...<< was her last thought as she pulled onto the campus.
*****
Willow sat alone in the darkness. She had no need to turn on the light, all she wanted was Buffy. Then as she saw the figure enter she knew it was time. >>Now or never<< she thought to herself.
Buffy quietly she entered the dark room not wanting to wake her friend. >>We will talk in the morning love, I
promise<< she thought looking towards her friend?s bed.
But Willow was not there. Buffy quickly was losing hope.
"Close the door," came the whispered command from the other side of the room, "we need to talk."
Startled Buffy had not expected Willow to be up at such a late hour but she was. >>It?s now or never<< she thought to herself as she closed the door.
"Ok Will, lets talk," she said getting to her bed.
"Tara broke up with me this afternoon," Willow began.
"Oh no. I?m so sorry about all this Willow. I never meant to hurt you," Buffy began before being cut off.
"You don?t think this hurts? That these last few days haven?t been hell?" Willow asked.
"I know they have, it has too hurt. I?m sorry. I can see how much you...care for her," Buffy answered quietly.
"I do. I did," corrected Willow, "But the tears already stopped."
"You did," acknowledged Buffy missing her friends correction, "I?m so sorry."
Silence fills the room as both girls think about their next words. Finally Willow breaks the silence.
"Why did you do it?" she asks.
"What?" questions Buffy.
"Why did you tell me Buffy? I mean after so long. You saw I was with Tara," Willow answered.
"I...I don?t? know. I just did," replied a regretful Buffy.
"Why?" asked Willow again.
"Please Will..." pleaded Buffy.
"No Buffy. Just tell me why you did it. You have to know what you feel. Why won?t you tell me how you feel?" whispered Willow.
"I...this isn?t a good time Will. It?s late we can talk..." Buffy almost finished her thought as an angry Willow again interrupted her.
"What? Not a good time? Tell me then oh Great Slayer, when is a good time? When is the right time to fall in love?" questioned Willow before whispering, "I would really like to know.
This caught Buffy off-guard but she still didn?t respond all she could say was, "I don?t know."
Willow was almost in tears now as she was quickly becoming irate, "You don?t know? Well you sure seemed to think it was the perfect time when I was with Tara. What the difference now?"
"I?m sorry," managed Buffy trying to hold back her tears.
"Well you know what? I love you Buffy Summers," said Willow as she knelt before the Slayer. "Yup, this is me loving you. Tara told me that it was totally obvious. But the past doesn?t matter anymore. Do you know why I love you?"
The blonde could only nod her head ?no?.
"Well I?ll tell you," began Willow. "I never planned this, the first day we met I didn?t tell myself that I would be with you one day. But that day I knew that I was yours. You don?t plan love Buffy, you can?t put it aside for a ?good time.? You stumble and fall into love, usually hurting yourself in the process. We?ve both come close to our end but we?ve always stayed together. This is love Buffy, and we can only wish that we would?ve seen it before we fell in. But there was no way we could?ve avoided this, no chance for either of us to go the other way. You can?t avoid it anymore Buffy. We have now and that?s all we?ll have. You need to tell me how you feel though. I can?t stand by waiting for you to admit this to yourself. If you don?t love me I need to go back to Tara."
Willow had finished and again the room fell silent. Buffy was scared she did not want to lose Willow, she knew that if Willow left she would never be coming back. Taking in everything Willow had just told her, she didn?t want to hurt Willow. Looking down at the girl still kneeling in front of her only one thought came to mind, >>She really loves me. I...I...<<
"I love you," came the barely whispered reply.
To another it would?ve appeared to be nothing more but mumbles nonsense?s but Willow heard the words loud and clear. It filled her heart with joy as she looked into Buffy?s fear filled eyes. They were both crying now as Willow embraced her best friend, her soul?s mate. Then Buffy pulled back to look into Willow?s angelic face once again.
"I love you Willow. Your face, your smile, your voice, your...these...these tears," she said kissing the tears on Willows cheeks and finally her eyes. "You name is etched on my heart," she whispered as she leaned in claimed Willow?s soft lips. "But I need to leave Willow," she finished after pulling apart again.
This was not expected and it was evident on Willow?s face, "What?" was all she could manage.
"I need to go away Willow. I just need to think," Buffy answered.
"Why? No..." Willow began.
"I?ve already made my decision Will, I?m sorry," Buffy countered.
"No, I won?t let you," attempted a desperate Willow.
"I?m sorry Will. Please don?t get mad. I?ll be back, I promise," was Buffy?s finally answer.
"What? Don?t get mad? How should I feel then Buffy? Please tell me. You just told me that you loved me, before you said that you wanted to be with me. Now I?m telling you that you mean everything to me and you?re leaving? Do you understand that my heart is yours. And now...now you need to get away and ?just think?? I love you with my entire being..." Looking at Buffy she couldn?t stop herself before saying words she knew she would later regret, "But now as I look at you...especially now, I see that you?re not the person I fell in love with, you can?t be. Everything has changed so much, you?ve changed so much."
It hurt Buffy, every single word Willow was saying was true but the decision was already made. "I?m sorry Willow. I am so sorry that I can?t...that I?m not the person you need right now. But there?s you...my mom... I need to get away Willow."
"Go then," said Willow turning away.
"Will I..." Buffy began doubting her choice.
"Just go Buffy. You said you have now other choice. I don?t want to hold you back," stated Willow forcing herself to remain strong.
"I...you...I?m sorry," was all she said grabbing her duffel bag and heading for the door.
"Willow," she said looking back before opening the door.
"I understand Buffy," Willow managed still fighting back the tears.
"I love you Will," she said closing the door behind her.
As soon as the door closed Willow let everything out. Getting up and falling onto her bed every part of her body hurt. >>So this is love<< she thought as she cried herself to sleep.
*****
Driving out of Sunnydale Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes as she tried to concentrate on the road. She had already spoken to Giles about leaving and he could do nothing more than say he?d take care of her patrols. Buffy just needed to be alone and he knew it, either way he couldn?t have made her stay. >>Why couldn?t mom understand like Giles?<< she thought to herself. But she wasn?t about to turn back, not now. She had made the decision and she wouldn?t return until she was sure of herself. >>Willow doesn?t deserve this<< she thought as the Sunnydale lights began to fade behind her.
>< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< >< ><
End Part 1
Continue to Part 2
So how do things look so far? Hopefully I didn't take anyone too far from characters. As for Riley it's obvious he's queer, I mean just look at him. Anyway. So should I post the next part? I will but it's already late so I'll have to do it tomorrow. Laters All.
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