Repost-Willow Rosenberg, CIA part 5

[Carol.Clarke@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Willow Rosenberg, CIA
Disclaimers - Yeah and plenty of them, but if you want to read them go to
Part 1. You won't find any here.
Feedback - Yes please, you can reach me at Carol.Clarke@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx .
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------
Chapter 5
Paint the Ending In ...

Buffy was pissed and it didn't help that there were no 'damn' vampires to
take her frustration out on by pummeling them before dusting them. Here she
was in one of L.A.'s largest cemeteries in the middle of the night and there
was not a single thing going bump. With a cry of frustration she threw Mr.
Pointy into a nearby tree. The stake hit with enough force that it shook
the ancient tree and was buried four inches deep into the wood. "Great,
just great!" the slayer muttered to herself while stomping over to the tree
and trying to reclaim the stake. After a few, futile minutes of pulling and
kicking she knew it was hopeless and slid down the trunk, letting her tears
flow.

It had been two months since Willow had begun work for the CIA or, more
accurately, the FBI. Buffy had felt so guilty over Willow's loss of
freedom. She blamed herself for the arrest and sentence that put the love
of her life in that center of bullies and spies. Buffy always knew Willow
was smart and talented and would go far. She was just glad Willow let her
tag along. Then Willow had been arrested and Buffy had believed that, once
again, she had put the woman she loved in danger and ruined her future.

Buffy had spent the first two weeks of Willow's stay at the CIA pampering
and loving her lover. She had fixed her favorite foods and tried every new
way she could think of to make love to Willow. She went out of her way to
meet her at the door every night and send her on her way each morning. She
had tried so hard that Willow had gotten frustrated with it and told Buffy
to "stop acting like Donna Reed. I never wanted a wife in the first place."
It had cut Buffy to the core. Not so much the Donna Reed part but the fact
that somewhere in Buffy's mind she had considered herself to be exactly that
- Willow's wife.

She had taken Willow for better or worse, richer or poorer, until death do
you part. Buffy had always believed she would die first since slayer's
never led long lives. Willow was all she had ever wanted in her life,
whether she deserved her or not. They had never actually said the words or
worn the white dresses but Buffy had just assumed they were married. They
were forever but hadn't she felt that way about Angel? That had been a
disaster! She had taken his soul and sent him to hell - literally.

So now she knew that Willow didn't think of her in the same way. She could
live with that, or more exactly, she could learn to live with it, in time,
but another part of Buffy felt like she was losing Willow totally. Buffy
had expected that the work at the CIA would be punishment only to find that
Willow liked it. In fact she loved it! Willow had not been this excited
about anything since she and Tara had invented synchronized transmutation.
Willow had been given access to do research - something she had always
wanted to do. She was working with people that understood what she was
doing and appreciated what she was capable of. She had been making friends
at the office - friends that were smart and funny and were not also friends
with Buffy.

The two of them had always shared most of their friends. Xander, Oz and Amy
had been friends with them for so long they were family. Sure, Willow had
Tara and she had Riley and Kir, but they still hung out with the same
people. They still were part of the group, Buffy just felt left out.

Then it had happened. Last night Buffy had found the sacrificial altar of
the chaos demon cult she had been hunting. This included the sister to the
demon that had almost killed Buffy and her friends. Her back was still
healing from the injury she had incurred that night. The wounds had become
infected after Willow had stitched her up. Something to do with the demon
had caused the infection. Still, slayers could heal from almost any injury.

She had followed up on tips until she had finally found the altar but it had
been too late. Five people had died on it and their bodies were dumped next
to it. Since there was little she could do about it she had called Kate.
Kate brought in the police and then Kate's boss had called the FBI occult
unit. Within an hour of the call, Willow, Pam Nichols and four or five
others from Project Raven showed up. Buffy had stayed to watch from the
safety of a nearby doorway. She should have left but she wanted to watch
Willow work so she had hidden there, watching her love take charge of the
forensic team. She watched Willow laugh at Pam's jokes and as she watched,
her heart broke. It wasn't rational but Buffy wasn't always rational.

She had been so into watching Willow, she missed when the police started
doing a routine sweep of the area, looking for lurkers. The officers had
discovered her hiding place and had done a quick search finding her crosses,
Holy Water, stakes and crossbow. They then cuffed her and were ready to
drag her off to the precinct when one of Willow's new friends had recognized
her. Willow had taken her to a party at a co-worker's house the week before
and she had met most of the people Willow worked with.

All of this was normal routine for the slayer. She had been arrested too
many times to remember but this time was different. Mark. That was the
man's name that had recognized her and asked the officers to leave her on
site. She overheard Mark and another officer talking about her. She hated
slayer hearing. The police had already run her name from their police car
so when Mark and another FBI agent went over the usual things the computer
always spit out about her, it was business as usual. Then she heard someone
say "Mark, are you sure you don't want to let LAPD take her in? Holy Water
and a crossbow sounds occult-related to me."

"Nah. The girl is definitely a mental case but Dr. Rosenberg supports her,
even though she can't hold a job. She's harmless. I think she knows one of
the detectives as well. Langley, or something like that. She may have
even come with her to the site or she may have just followed radio calls
here to watch her girlfriend."

"Yeah. The blond seems like the positive type."

"Yeah, it's to bad."

"Yeah. She's a looker alright."

"No. It's not that. It's Rosenberg. I mean, okay, she's a dyke but she
could do so much better. She could be with somebody normal. You know,
someone with a job. Someone who doesn't need to carry stakes up her
sleeves. Rosenberg, is so smart but she's too nice for her own good."

"Yeah. Rosenberg does seem pretty competent. She probably just doesn't
know how to get rid of the girl. Man, I feel sorry for her."

"What are we talking about anyway? It's not like a girl that size could
have lifted the bodies, much less done this kind of damage."

It had been enough. Buffy then did something she didn't do often. She
cried. She thought about how she was holding Willow back as she cried.
Later, Pam Nichols had come over to the van and uncuffed Buffy. "I take it
you called detective Lockley this morning - that you found the bodies." It
was a statement. Pam knew who Buffy really was. Willow had told her
everything.

Buffy just nodded yes.

"Did you have anything to do with this."

"No! I don't do humans" Buffy snapped, turning to Pam.

"I know, but I had to ask. Do you 'DO' what did this?"

"Not yet, but I will."

"That's good to know. Ms. Summers, I'm afraid Willow is busy now but you
can wait for her if you want. Just stay here or by the other cars."

"Does she know I'm here?"

"No, not yet. I can tell her if you like."

"No! In fact, would you do me a favor and not tell her I was here at all."

"If that's what you want Ms. Summers."

"It is. Can I go now? It's been a long night."

"Yes." Pam's answer was short and to the point. Buffy figured she felt the
same way the other two officers did and Buffy felt like they were right.
That night Buffy left the house before Willow got home. She left to go
patrolling and now she was sitting on the ground, crying, with her favorite
stake stuck in a tree and her life falling apart.

Days passed while Willow did autopsies of the bodies that the occult unit
had removed from an abandoned building serving as a demon temple. Willow
had barely seen Buffy. At first Willow just thought she was still hunting
the chaos demon's sister who was responsible for the deaths. Willow had
pieced enough together from Kate and Angel to know the deaths were related
to the same demon that had left the latest scars on her lover. Buffy
sometimes got like this when she was hunting a specific demon so she had
just left her lover be.

Two things happened to change Willow's mind. First, Angel had phoned her at
work to ask her to try and call off her feebees until nightfall. Kate was
holding back the LAPD. He and Faith would destroy the body. Willow was
clueless as to what he was talking about. Angel was also surprised that
Buffy hadn't told Willow. Buffy had found and killed the chaos demon late
the night before but was too tired to hide the body. Chaos demons were
large and hard to hide and since Buffy had left the demon's body on the
rooftop overlooking the crime scene there was a chance some of the officers
would return to the scene of the crime. Secondly, Mark had come in to get
an autopsy report and let it slip that Buffy had been caught at the scene of
the crime but Pam had let her go. 

The demon part she accepted. Demons were a part of Buffy's everyday life
but she always told Willow when she was arrested or picked up by the cops.
One time, Buffy had been severely beaten while in jail. It turned out that
the officer primarily responsible for the beating was a demon. Because of
this and other run-ins she'd had, Buffy was very mistrustful of authorities.
If the jail experience had not been enough, there had been the Initiative.
Riley had turned out to be a nice guy but Buffy never trusted authority
after that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------

Pam was sitting in her office looking over crime reports for yet another
crime that would go officially unsolved. She would turn in the real report
to the CIA. The demon was dead. She knew this because a surveillance
camera placed at the scene had picked up the slayer killing the beast. Pam
was comforted to know that the slayer was good for her word but she was
uncomfortable with what she had actually seen. It was the most frightening
thing she had ever seen. The thought that the petite blonde was strong
enough to take on that creature had left her numb and, more to the point, it
frightened her even more when she shared this knowledge with the agency.

It turned out that the CIA had already known Ms. Summers was the slayer.
They had even told her to keep the slayer out of operations and, more
importantly, to keep her out of jail. Pam wondered how much of her work and
her discoveries over the years were just yesterday's news. The agency had
known. Even now the cameras at the scene were waiting to see who came for
the demon's body. They didn't care what they were going to do with it, how
it was to be disposed of or what it was made of.

No! Science was not the point. They already knew. It was about who was
involved. That was what they needed to know! Dr. Nichols had even been
given a list. If it were any of the slayer's known friends, nothing was to
be done. But if it was someone not on the list then they were to be
reported. The agency would handle it from there. Pam idly wondered if
vampires would show up on camera. Did it matter if the film had silver
nitrate? If they did not see anyone, how would she know if it was the
detective vampire or another vampire?

Even with all this running through her head there was one other thing on her
mind. She had put it off for days but she knew sooner or later she would
need to address it. She had overheard most of Mark's and Tom's conversation
about the slayer. She had guessed someone at the agency had planted some of
it with Mark. He was the office gossip and planting ideas with him usually
worked. She had done it herself. Why they had planted it was another
story. She suspected the slayer had heard them as well. The girl had been
crying when she had uncuffed her. From what she knew of Buffy, she didn't
seem like the type to cry and she had been arrested far too many times
before to let that bother her to the point of tears. Pam was lost in
thought, when she looked up to see Dr. Rosenberg in the doorway of her
office.

"Pam, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yes. This is about Buffy isn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"I've always been a good guesser. So what can I do for you?"

"Why didn't you tell me that Buffy was at the crime scene?"

"She asked me not to."

"Oh!"

"Actually I really wanted to talk to you about it. I just hadn't figured
out how to broach the subject with you. Why don't you shut the door and
have a seat?"

Willow did as asked. She took a seat across from Pam and waited with a bad
feeling in her stomach.

Pam noticing the look on Willow's face said "Don't worry. It's nothing
official. The agency knows Buffy reported it and that's why she was in the
area. At least as far as the police or the FBI is concerned, that's the end
of the story."

Willow sighed with relief. "Good."

"You're not going to think so in a minute. I think the reason why your
girlfriend left without telling you was because of a conversation she
overheard. It wasn't nice. Some of the agents heard about the equipment
she was carrying. Things used for slaying like stakes, etc. They ..."

"They thought she was mentally unbalanced. We've heard it before" Willow
said in relief.

"I wish it were that simple. The gist of what they said was more about you,
emphasizing how you have to take care of someone mentally unbalanced. I
know that isn't true. Your girlfriend must be one of the most mentally
sound people in the world, especially given her line of work." Pam slammed
her hand on her desk with a thud and continued "Fuck it! I think some of
the people here should still be in junior high school. What they said was
cruel and I think she was hurt. No. I know she was but I just didn't know
if I should get involved. I should've said something earlier. I am sorry
Dr. Rosenberg."

Willow was stunned. Her mind was blank and she didn't know what to think.
Between Angel and Pam she felt like she was two feet tall. She had missed
all the signs. She had been a bad friend and a bad lover.
"Can I go home early?" was all she could say before turning and leaving, not
even waiting for an answer. She had to get there before Buffy left without
seeing her again. She got there just in time to see Buffy walking to her
car.

"You're early" the slayer said.

"And you were trying to leave before I got home."

"Was not."

"Buffy, I don't want to argue in the street. Come inside, please?"

"So, are we going to argue?"

"Probably. Won't be the first time."

"Fine." But it wasn't fine, Buffy thought. She wondered if she should've
just stayed at Xander's and Amy's or Cordelia's and Doyle's. Maybe she
should just stay with Angel. Buffy was resigned to the fact that Willow had
come to her senses and was throwing her out. Buffy didn't think she would
survive this.

They both marched into the house, taking up opposite sides of the room
before sitting down in silence.

"Will, I have places to be, demons to slay, so can we?"

Willow cut her off. "No, you don't! Angel called me and, apparently,
you've already slain."

"Is that what this is all about? I didn't tell you I slew a demon. Do I
have to ask your permission now to do my job? Yeah, my job! Or do you and
your friends at the CIA think they can do better?"

"That wasn't it Buffy. Most of them are nice and this isn't about them."

"Then what is it about Will? Tell me! Because I don't know. I don't seem to
know anything, anymore! And that's really the problem, isn't Will? I'm not
smart enough to hang with you and yours. I ..."

Buffy didn't get to finish her rant because Willow slapped her across the
face. Buffy was stunned. She had expected for Willow to throw her out but
to hit her - that was new. Willow had never hit her before. Well, at least
not in the face and never in anger. Those other times had been in fun, but
this wasn't fun.

"Hey, look! I'm sorry Will. I'll save you the trouble of throwing me out.
I'll come back when you're at work and get my stuff." Buffy tried to walk
around her but Willow put her hand on the slayer's arm, stopping her.

"This is really about the job isn't it? All the silence has been about the
job. Buffy, you know I can't quit."

"Well, I quit. I quit, Will. I can't do it all and, quit frankly, loving
you is a job I could do without."

Willow slapped Buffy again. She was not sure why she had developed this
need to slap Buffy. It was all her fault. She was the one in the wrong but
something in her snapped. Maybe the job was getting to her. No, not the
job itself. She actually liked her job but felt guilty for liking it. That
was an issue she wasn't ready to deal with and now was not the time for
those thoughts. She had just slapped her love twice and she had to do
something that would end this. Whatever this was.

"Buffy Anne Summers." Buffy was struck at how much like her mother Willow
sounded.

"You can't quit us. It's not that easy. We have been through apocalypses
and your mother walking in on us. We are not going to just walk away
because if you do that then you'll be walking away from the best thing that
ever happened to us!"

Buffy slumped to the floor. "Willow, I know you're the best thing that ever
happened to me. I just don't want to hold you back."

"I think I once told you that I wanted in, I wanted to fight the forces of
evil. I don't do it because of you though you are a big part of it. Buffy,
I do it because it is part of who I am, who I want to be! Buffy, I love
you. Only you. You're who I want to spend the rest of my life with! For
better or worse, I need you. I am nothing without you!"

"Did you mean what you said?"

"Depends. What did I say?" Willow hated it when Buffy jumped track. The
workings of her mind was still a mystery.

"You said you didn't want a wife. Willow, I've always thought of you as my
wife."

'I never wanted a wife.' Willow's mind ran through conversations and she
remembered what Buffy was referring to. "Honey. I do think of you as my
wife. I really do. It was the acting like Donna Reed part, that's what I
meant. I don't want you to think you have to take care of me. You were
giving me Xander flashbacks, from when we watched The Donna Reed Show and
Father Knows Best on Nick at Night. You were way over-compensating."

"I guess I was. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I should've noticed what you were feeling. I have been so
wrapped up in my world that I haven't been paying attention to you, the most
important person in my life."

"Will, I was being a jerk."

"No you weren't." Willow decided now was not the time to deal with the
conversation she had with Pam. Things between them had gotten out of control
and the facts did not match the reactions which usual meant feelings were
running below the surface. No, now was the time to make love. Willow
reached over and grabbed her love's hand and pulled her towards the bedroom.
The witch pushed the blonde onto the bed, pulling off clothes as she went.
She spent a long time kissing the slayer's lips.

"Okay, Buffy. I'm going to make love to you. The only question now is,
hard or soft?"

"Well, you have already slapped me twice. I say finish what you started."
Buffy leaned in to kiss Willow, suddenly getting serious and added "Willow,
I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm losing control again. Please, I
need you to help me. Okay?"

This wasn't good. Buffy liked to play rough. Emphasis on the word play,
but when she felt out of control, Willow didn't think she was playing
anymore. Willow had dated a werewolf so she knew what it meant to have a
lover feel out of control, be out of control.

But that would have to wait. Willow didn't want to lose the moment so she
kissed the slayer for awhile, pushing her back toward the headboard. The
redhead lifted her lover's arms above her head and gently closed the
slayer's eyes. Buffy lay still as Willow gathered supplies and laid them
out. She blindfolded the slayer and handcuffed her to the headboard.
Willow then spread her legs and tied them to the legs of the bed with
restraints before changing her mind and untying one of the legs. She rolled
the slayer on to her stomach. Then with her hand she began to spank the
slayer, at first playfully, but Buffy asked for it to be harder. Willow did
as asked. She spanked the slayer for what seemed like a lifetime. The
doctor had to take breaks and rest. It took a long time to even raise a red
mark on the slayer.

Buffy demanded bruises. Bruises that would fade with in an hour or two but
she needed bruises. It took being in love with someone for more then a
decade to know these things about the one you love. Willow simply knew
Buffy needed this. Why didn't matter. It was just like trying to explain
magic. The words didn't seem to exist. All in all, the witch had spent
more than an hour at the task before she felt Buffy was ready for the next
step.

Willow rolled Buffy onto her back and tied her tightly, spread-eagled on the
bed. She then spent time kissing the slayer. First her lips and then both
breasts and then the healing scars on her stomach. Finally, she reached the
slayer's core. Willow truly was a doctor of anatomy when it came to going
down on someone. She knew how to use her tongue and after the slayer had
began to moan loudly, she added her fingers. This was something she loved
to do. She could die from the taste of the slayer. It was what she thought
heaven must be like. Willow lost herself in the act until she felt the
slayer's muscles contract around her fingers and her legs started to shake.
Willow sucked harder on her lover's clit and added another finger. Buffy
only moaned her name. Willow kept this up until the slayer was through the
climax. She slowed her finger thrusts and then slid up the slayer's body,
kissing her lips. Willow then began to slide the phallus into the blond.
Willow started out slow and gradually picked up the pace. When the slayer
began to shake, the witch found her clit and stroked it hard. Buffy leaned
up and took Willow's lips and said "I love you." Afterwards, Willow let the
slayer rest and sat next to her on the bed to watch her mate. She slowly
began to untie her but when she removed the handcuffs Buffy grabbed her
hand. "Will, it's not enough. I need more. I need you to do it."

Willow knew what it was. It was something Willow loved Buffy to do to her.
Had, in fact, begged Buffy to do to her, pleaded with her to do but Buffy
had never liked it done to her. Willow had assumed that slayers might be
more sensitive there or it was just a personal thing. But Buffy was not
asking Willow to do it because she liked it. No, Buffy wanted the pain.
Needed it. Her lover could become so self-destructive without her help.
Willow's answer was "Lean over the end of the bed and I'll get what I need.
Buffy, are you sure about this?"

"Willow, I just need it." It was said in a whisper. Buffy had spent too
many years hurt by fate and this was the price. Buffy bent over the bed in
the right position and waited. Willow got everything she needed and then
kissed her lover's back, letting her fingers run down the still healing
scars. She slid the phallus in the slayer's back side. Buffy made a noise
though Willow doubted it was in pleasure. The doctor slowly began to work
in and out of the blonde.

"Will, harder please."

Willow increased both pressure and speed. Buffy made a few sounds but, on
the whole, there was silence. Willow just kept at her work until Buffy
began to moan. Willow had unconsciously begun to play with the slayer's
clit, trying to make it pleasant. When Buffy began to moan load and rock
with Willow's motions the witch increased her actions until Buffy began to
shake. Willow then let herself feel her own orgasm but it seemed empty
somehow. When they were both finished, they cleaned up separately and went
to bed.

Hours passed and Willow lay in bed next to Buffy, feeling empty and thinking
about the night. She went over everything, step by step. Work, Pam, their
lovemaking. Over and over again. Then it hit her! The scars on Buffy's
back. Open scars on Buffy's back. They should have been completely healed
by now. Willow quickly turned on the light and threw the covers off of
them. A confused Buffy awoke to find Willow tugging on her pajama top.
"Willow! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Taking your top off."

"New side of you, Will?"

"Just do it Buffy. It's important." Hitting Buffy with her resolve face,
Buffy pulled off the top and Willow practically flipped Buffy over.

"Damn it! I'm a fool. I've got to call Giles."
"I wear the cheese it does not wear me." Bald Man, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.