FF Tell me I was dreaming (2/?)

["Christeen Demons" <Shyfox30@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hey guys...hope this makes up for last week.:-) I finally got my block 
cleared...at least a little...so I hope you like it.:-)

Chapter two: Hold on this is gonna hurt like hell

Hold on
Hold on to yourself,
for this is gonna hurt like hell.
Hold on
Hold on to yourself,
you know that only time will tell.

What is it in me that refuses to believe
this isn't easier than the real thing.

My love
you know that you're my best friend,
you know I'd do anything for you.
My love,
let nothing come between us.
my love for you is strong and true.

Am I in heaven here or am I...
at the crossroads I am standing.
So now you're sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you'll be strong tomorrow and we'll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face .
Sarah Mclaughlin

The sound of the siren screaming seemed to echo inside her own head. Willow 
watched, a strange feeling of calmness washing over her, as Jonathan worked 
at keeping her wife alive on the short trip to Sunnydale General Hospital. 
It was almost as if this was a movie, and that she was a stranger looking in 
on her own life. That?s how detached she felt from the situation. She 
couldn?t even feel her own heartbeat. The curtain of shock that was 
protecting her felt like dead weight around her shoulders and it scared her 
that she could feel absolutely nothing at this moment. She thought that she 
should be screaming...or
crying...or something, but all she could do was stare at the frenzied 
motions, feeling more out of touch with reality as the moments passed.

It seemed like an enternity passed before the ambulance reached the 
emergency doors of the hospital. But then, Willow felt her head spinning as 
the activity around her picked up to a rapid rate. She didn?t even have 
time to blink before the ambulance doors were being
pulled open by the driver, and Jonathan was helping him to lower Buffy?s 
stretcher onto the pavement.

Jonathan took a moment to help her down, but then they were moving fast, 
crossing the small distance between the back of the ambulance and the 
emergency doors. Willow kept pace with them through urgency and 
determination...not wanting to lose sight of her love for a moment.

The hospital itself was alive with activity...as soon as the paramedics 
entered the hospital, the stretcher became surrounded by medical staff. 
Willow listened abstractly as Buffy?s vital statistics and orders were 
relayed in a sharp staccato. Then the stretcher was moving again, and 
Willow found herself being left behind. By the time she caught up to them, 
the stretcher was already being pushed through a set of swinging doors. A 
nurse halted her progress just before she went inside and directed her back 
into the hall. ?I?m sorry miss...you can?t go in there.? The stern, but 
empathetic looking nurse said, guarding the door, as she took in the 
appearance of the obviously shocked and devastated young woman.

?But-? Willow started to protest, but could see from looking into the 
chocalate brown eyes of the nurse, that it wasn?t going to do any good.

?Will!? She could hear Xander calling to her, and turned to her rapidly 
approaching friends, emotion starting to catch up to her.

?Xand-? She stepped forward, starting to fumble as she was caught in the 
riptide of her rapidly rising and intensifying emotions, but soon two strong 
arms were closing around her and holding on tightly against the maelstrom.

Xander felt the warm tears that were streaming down his best friend?s face 
and felt a knot grow in his own throat as he tried to figure out what he 
could say to make things better. ?She?s going to be all right. She?s going 
to be just fine...you?ll see.? The words sounded flat and untrue to his own 
ears...he could only imagine how they sounded to Willow. ?But she?s just 
gotta be...right? I mean...she?s the Slayer. She?s taken worse beatings 
than this before and survived. Right?!!!?

?I can?t feel her, Xander.? He heard the tremor in the whisper and felt the 
chill erupt down his spine, although he could only begin to guess at what 
she meant by the words.

He shot a questioning look at Giles, who looked like he was just as far out 
of his league as the belabored Scoob was.

The Nurse took in the conversation quietly. Unfortunately, being an ER 
nurse, she was used to watching heart rending scenes like this. Also, 
unfortunate, was that part of her job was to gain as much information as 
possible from the grieving family members of the patient, including the 
distasteful but much needed insurance information. That in mind, she
approached the parental looking figure and introduced herself.

Giles was not surprised at the nurses assumption that he was Buffy?s father. 
Their connection as Watcher and Slayer possibly made them as close as a 
father and daughter, but he couldn?t exactly say that here. He shook his 
head instead and explained his connection to Buffy?s mother, before excusing 
himself so he could go call her while
Willow, Oz and Xander wandered aimlessly into the waiting room.

*****

Giles wasn?t looking forward to this phone call. It had been something he 
had dreaded since becoming Buffy?s Watcher and meeting Joyce. He had 
always known that this day could come, and that it most likely would. The 
Slayer?s profession was very deadly and it usually made for a very short 
life. Buffy had lived longer than any Slayer before her,
surviving obstacles that other slayers wouldn?t have. He had developed a 
certain amount of pride in his Slayer, believing her capable of handling all 
that life threw at her, and a certain amount of vanity in his own abilities 
to keep her aware and knowledgable in the dangers that she had to face every 
day. He had started to think that maybe Buffy had
escaped her predecessor?s fate. She had started a life beyond her call, had 
started to reach for and claim things that every person was entitled to...a 
home, a mate, a family.

That was usually when fate would choose to stand up and slap you in the 
face. And the only conclusion that Giles could come to was that he had 
failed. He had failed to keep watch over his Slayer...had failed to warn 
her when the timing was critical, and now it appeared that his failure was 
going to cost his Slayer her life.

Giles picked up the black reciever of the pay phone, holding the cool 
plastic in his hand as he took a deep breath...gathering his courage for the 
task that laid ahead, before dropping a quarter into the change slot. An 
unsteady finger dialed the familiar number.

?Hello.? Joyce sounded anxious as she answered the phone.

?Joyce..?

?Giles...Oh thank God. Are Buffy and Willow with you? She wasn?t here when 
I came home, and I couldn?t help thinking that something dreadful had 
happened.? Joyce?s voice did sound tight...wound with nervous energy.

?Joyce...Willow is with me and she?s fine...? ?Or about as fine as can be 
expected.? Giles thought worriedly, not quite able to voice it. ?But...I?m 
afraid there?s been an accident. It?s Buffy...?

*****

Joyce reached the hospital in one peice, although that in itself was some 
kind of miracle after having raced across town, paying little attention to 
the traffic lights or other passing cars. She looked harried as she entered 
the hospital, her hair flying behind her as she raced up to the nurses 
station.

An overworked nurse looked up briefly from her mound of paperwork to see 
Joyce standing there. ?May I help you?? She asked, disinterest rich in her 
voice.

Joyce found herself twitching at the attitude...already on a short fuse from 
her worry and concern, but reined her temper in carefully. ?My daughter, 
Buffy Summers, was admitted by ambulance about half an hour ago. Where is 
she??

The name sounded familiar, so the nurse checked the computer hurriedly. 
?She?s still in surgery Mrs. Summers. If you?d like to have a seat in the 
waiting room and fill out these forms, I?ll make sure the doctor comes to 
see you when he comes out.? The nurse said, in
a matter of fact tone, and handed Joyce a clipboard, which she was half 
tempted to use on the nurse.

?Do you have a pen?? The nurse handed Joyce a ball point, then watched with 
a certain amount of sympathy as she walked away. She had gotten a brief 
look of the girl?s injuries when she had been brought in, and knew that the 
prognosis wasn?t good for the girl?s recovery.

*****

?Willow.? Joyce said softly, to the young redhead, who was still crying 
against Xander?s shoulder. Willow picked up her head, and the pain that 
filled her daughter-in-law?s eyes when she looked at her, filled her own 
with tears.

?Oh...Joyce.? Willow covered her mouth with a trembling hand, feeling the 
sudden unbearable weight of guilt fall heavily on her shoulders as she 
looked at her wife?s mother. ?I?m sorry. I?m so sorry, this is all my 
fault. I shouldn?t have let her in...I...?

?Honey, stop. I don?t want to hear you blame yourself.? Joyce sat in the 
empty chair beside Willow, looking steadily at her. ?No matter what 
happened, I do know that it wasn?t your fault.?

?But...? Willow started to protest, but was hushed by a look only a mother 
could give.

?Now you listen to me.? Joyce said, hazel eyes piercing into hazel with a 
strong determination to be right. ?Buffy?s strong...and she?s a fighter. 
She has so much to live for. So...I know that she?s going to fight this and 
do everything in her power to get back to you.?

The sentiment was shared by a group of nodding heads and Willow just 
absorbed the hopeful aura, using the groups support to bolster her own 
lagging nerves.

But as minute followed minute, and hour followed hour, their hope started to 
dwindle. Oz and Xander paced the small confines of the waiting room, 
wearing imaginary ruts into the dull brown carpeting. They kept meeting up 
with each other in the middle, excusing
themselves distractedly, before continuing their aimless trek.

Giles tried not to notice the constant meandering, figuring that it was 
better that they get their pent up energy out in this manner, rather than 
starting to bicker with each other. He delved his inner resources for the 
calm he needed to handle his own anxieties. Willow looked just plain 
exhausted, Giles noted. Her face was stripped of color, except for the shade 
of red around her eyes, from the earlier crying session. Willow was curled 
into a very uncomfortable looking position, her head resting on Joyce?s 
shoulder. Joyce tried to help by wrapping an arm around the girl?s 
shoulders, but Giles knew that if the wiccan
ever managed to fall asleep, she?d wake up with a heck of a crick in her 
neck. The poor girl looked like she could easily fall asleep at any minute, 
but every time her eyelids drifted closed, she?d pick her head up with a 
jerk, her breathing increasing, as if she were afraid that if she fell 
asleep for even a second, Buffy?s fate would be sealed.

?Wonder what?s taking them so long.? Xander finally asked, risking a glance 
at the clock. ?Three am. Great. We?ve only been here for four hours.? 
?But hey, no news is good news right?? Oz spared him a glace before he 
continued his self imposed sentry line. ?Right.? Xander concluded, from the 
blank looks he recieved from the others, and
continued walking his end of the imaginary X they were making on the floor.

*****

Dr. Peter Greene walked out of the Operating room, feeling thoroughly 
exhausted. This had been a tough case and they had nearly lost her, in fact 
had lost her for about thirty adrenaline producing seconds. The injury to 
the woman?s side and ribs, not to mention the blow to her appendix, which 
they had been forced to remove, hadn?t worried them half as much as the 
fracture to her skull and the resulting swelling of the brain tissue.

The knowledge that the young woman was far from being out of danger and that 
there was nothing that he could do about it, didn?t sit well for the 
thirty-two year old doctor. He had been working the ER for about five 
years, and he had seen his fair share of death when there was nothing that 
his skills as a medical doctor could do about it. Many different kinds of 
people had been on his operating table...but he knew that this one was 
different...this one was...special. He never liked to lose someone under 
his care, but he instinctivally felt that if he lost this one, the world 
would lose something special. ?You?re getting maudlin and sentimental in 
your old age, Peter. That?s not good.? He poked fun at himself, wondering 
if he was getting soft. Then he glanced at the clock outside of the Nurses? 
station. ?3:10. No wonder I?m exhausted. I?m going home.? He thought to 
himself, but first he had to stop and get his messages.

?Dr. Greene. You?ve been here a while.? The Nurse behind the desk picked 
up her head when she had heard him coming and gave him a cheerful smile. 
Dr. Greene was one of her favorites. He cared about his patients, usually 
knew what to say to grieving families, and never made the Nurses feel lower 
than a ground mole.

He nodded slowly, smiling a little at Shelley, one of the nurses that 
covered the night shift. ?Sixteen hours, been in the OR for the last four. 
Definitely time to go home, just stopped by to check my messages.?

Shelley nodded, smiling understandingly as she handed him his messages, then 
cocked her head to the side as if she had just thought of something. ?Were 
you working on that young girl that was brought in...fell off a building or 
something??

?Yeah. Why?? He asked, curious as to why she?d bring it up.

?Her family has been waiting for the last four hours, no one has been in to 
see them yet...could you??

Peter shifted his shoulders back, easing the pain out of them as he looked 
in the direction of the waiting room. ?Four hours.? He shook his head in 
sympathy. He just wished he had better news to tell them. ?What?s the 
mother?s name?? He asked quietly, then stood
waiting as the Nurse found the chart.

?Joyce Summers.?

?Thanks Shelley.? Peter sighed, then went to break the news to Mrs. 
Summers.

*****

Peter saw the five people huddled around the waiting room and approached 
them quietly. He could sense the air of tension around them, and prepared 
himself for being the deliverer of bad news. A young woman, who looked to 
be not much older than a teenager, and was obviously pregnant, was curled up 
next to a more matronly woman , who Peter assumed
to be Joyce Summers. But who was the younger one? Sister? Peter decided 
it really didn?t matter. ?Mrs. Summers?? Peter called out, and was 
surprised to see both women look up to stare at him.

The younger woman flushed, casting a guilty look towards the older woman, 
who just smiled back in what appeared to be amusement, before standing to 
greet him. ?I?m Mrs. Summers...how is my daughter...can I see her??

Peter glanced around the room, wishing that they were nearer to his office 
so he could give them more privacy, but he was fairly certain that they 
wouldn?t be walked in on at this late hour and he could tell by the looks on 
all of their faces that they were anxious to
hear the news.

?Mrs. Summers...there is something I need to tell you about your daughter?s 
condition. Maybe we should sit down first.? He said, sinking into the 
closest chair.

Joyce wanted to protest, but by the look on the doctor?s face, she could 
tell this was going to be bad. She sank weightlessly down beside 
Willow...not even daring to look at her daughter?s wife as she took the 
noticably trembling hand in hers.

Peter took a deep breath, knowing that it was better not to beat around the 
bush in these cases, and let it out slowly watching as the group huddled 
around him. ?When your daughter was brought in, she was in very critical 
condition. She had apparently fallen from a five story apartment building, 
and she was also suffering from a severe stab wound.
The stab wound, which I?m assuming came from either a very sharp peice of 
glass or a knife, affected her appendix, which we had to remove, and caused 
a shortage in her blood supply. These wounds although possibly dangerous 
were easily fixed.? Peter paused, taking a breath, and a long look at 
everyone sitting there. He could see them growing more alert and more tense 
with each word that he spoke.

There was no easy way to say this next part, so he just said it. ?The 
wounds from the fall are concerning us now, though. Your daughter sustained 
a severe blow to her head from the fall causing a severe fracture in her 
skull. Due to the impact and the nature of the blow
it has also caused her brain tissue to swell, putting pressure on the brain. 
We believe that because of this...your daughter...has lapsed into a coma.?

During the conversation, Willow had felt her previous state of 
disassociation returning. A great rushing had filled her head, like she was 
being bathed constantly in a tidal wave, and a red haze had covered her 
eyes. She heard the doctor?s words as if from a mile away...so
it took a few moments before his last words sank in. ?I?m sorry.? She said 
finally, raising her hand in some abstract way, like she was back in school 
waiting for the teacher to call on her. She waited until Dr. Greene?s eyes 
were resting on her before she added. ?But did you just say that Buffy?s in 
a coma??

Seeing him nod was like the straw that broke the camel?s back. Her grief 
was too great...too overwhelming...and so she welcomed the dark cloud that 
swept over her. She welcomed the oblivion as if it was all she had left.

to be continued...

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