FF: This will probably make me very unpopular....

["honoured fool" <honouredfool@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Evaporated
Disclaimer: The BtVS gang are owned by Joss and Co. Lyrics are Evaporated 
by Ben Folds.
Feedback: I'll have you know I'm backed by an Army of Monkies so if you 
want to come after me with tar and feathers bring it on. If you don't 
then...Yea!
Archive: This old thing? I'd be flattered. Let me know though.
DANGER! DANGER! Angst ahead.

What I've kept with me
and what I've thrown away
And where the hell I've ended up
On this glary, random day
Were the things I really cared about
just left along the way
For being too pent up and proud

Buffy Summers would be the first one to admit that she didn't have much 
left in the world. Not since everything had gone wrong. None since Dawn 
had gone away. She blamed herself for that, she hadn't fought hard enough 
to save her in the end. Kept her out of The Beast's hands sure, but not 
kept her around as a sister. She had been to stubborn for that. Now Dawn 
was gone and she was the only one who knew why.

Woke up way too late
feeling hungover and old
And the sun was shining bright
and I walked barefoot down the road

Buffy didn't do much slaying anymore, she left most of it to the newly 
returned Faith who had brought a beaming Cordelia in tow back to Sunnydale. 
Seeing them together had made Buffy long for a time jsut weeks ago when she 
was surrounded by people who loved her. Mostly she just sat around now, 
slept and drank. There wasn't much left to do. Two people had mattered to 
her, and she managed to lose them both in twenty-four hours.

Started thinking 'bout my old man
It seems that all men want to get into a car and go
anywhere

Xander was gone. Not for good, just for the summer, or at least that's 
what he had told her. Not to be trusted though, men. Riley was gone too, 
like a thief in the night, back to the army. Giles may as well have been 
gone, what with the magic store and all. He had thrown himself into 
post-Dawn, never wanted to train at all anymore.

Here I stand
Sad and free
I can't cry
I can't see
What I've done
Oh God what have I done?

Buffy stood at the end of the pier looking out over the water, watching 
and listening as the waves lapped against the docks. Buffy had never liked 
the docks, not after that night. Want, take, have my ass. That worked out 
real well. Good theory Faith.

Don't you know I'm numb, man
No I can't feel a thing at all
'Cause it's all smiles and business these days
And I'm indifferent to the loss

Buffy fished a flask out of her coat pocket, bourbon it tasted like. At 
the back of her mind she noted that if a vampire came along she would be a 
pretty easy target right now. Then she noticed it was the middle of the 
day. Buffy didn't care one way or the other. She just continued to drink.

And I think that there's a soul somewhere
that's leading me around
I wonder if she knows which way is down

Sure Dawn had been a pain in the ass, but she had been Buffy's pain in the 
ass. She had grown on her so fast when she found out what Dawn really was. 
Sometimes she still felt her sister trailing through Sunnydale, watching 
over her, trying to show her the way. Buffy wasn't really listening though.

Here I stand
Sad and free
I can't cry
and I can't see
What I've done
Oh God what have I done?

It wasn't that she didn't want to care anymore, it was just that she 
didn't. Not since Dawn had gone away. Not since...

I poured my heart out
I poured my heart out
It evaporated - see?

Will, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure thing Buffy, what is it?
Well, I've been thinking, since you know, Dawn, that life is pretty 
fragile, pretty short, especially around here and I think you should make 
the most of it while your here.
That's a good sentiment Buff-
Let me keep talking okay? Anyway, I, uh, I said something to you once, a 
few years ago, when all that stuff with the Mayor and Graduation and Faith 
was going down, you remeber what I said?
Sure, you said you kind of loved me. It was one of the best days of my 
life.
Yeah well, I have something else to say to you now. Willow, I totally 
love you. Like, I'm in love with you.
Buffy, that's sweet but Tara...

Blind man on a canyon's edge
Of a panoramic scene
Maybe I'm a kite that's flying high and random
Dangling on a string
Or slumped over in a vacant room
Head on a stranger's knee
I'm sure back home
They think I've lost my mind

Buffy was suprised to find that she had somehow ended up on the cliff's 
over looking Sunnydale's miserable harbour. She looked out over the blue of 
the Pacific, felt the wind blow her around a little. Took a step forward. 
Then another one. Heard a voice in the wind.
I'll be waiting big sister.
I know you will little sister.
Then she heard another voice.
I love her and I can't leave her just because you're upset and you need a 
shoulder to cry on.
Took a step. Heard a voice.
I'm waiting.
I'm coming.

Here I stand - sad and free
I can't cry and I can't see
What I've done
Oh God what have I done?
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

Mmmmm....angsty.

HonouredFool


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