Story: Allies & Enemies: The King of Cretins

["Femvamp " <femvamp000@xxxxxxxxx>]

And the roll continues......


TITLE: Allies & Enemies: The King of Cretins
AUTHOR: Femvamp
E-MAIL: femvamp000@xxxxxxxxx
FEEDBACK: My name is Femvamp and I'm a feedback addict
DISTRIBUTION: Sure take it, just drop me an email.
DISCLAIMER: Joss Wheadon and many others own the characters of BtVS 
and Angel (lucky bastards).

The King of Cretins

I'm Xander the King of Cretins, Zeppo extrodinare. I'm a demon magnet 
but a nice guy. A normal boy stuck in an anything but normal 
situation. I live on the Hellmouth and my two best friends are a 
slayer and a hacker-witch. Oh and you can't forget that the love of 
my life is the ex-patron saint of scorned women.

Why would I want a normal life? What's the fun in that. If I had a 
normal life I'd be bored out of my mind. I'd be just like my father. 
A drunken old man who beats his wife and kids. I'd be my old man. 

Instead I have a chance. I have friends who watch out for me, even 
Giles who pretends he doesn't care. I have Anya, someone I never 
would have met if I didn't live on the Hellmouth.

Why would I want to give that up?

Yeah you're saying, I'd be safe. But the world isn't a safe place 
anyway. So I wouldn't put my life on the line every night. I could 
still be robbed or murdered by some human jerk. I'd rather take the 
demons. At least I know where they stand. 

Besides being a Slayerette has made me a better person. Really it 
has. It has shown me that I can escape my own gene pool. I don't 
have to become my father. Instead I can become the father I always 
wanted. I can become Giles. Well maybe not, exactly like him, but 
close enough. I can become a man he'd be proud of.

You see, he's my father. Maybe not my blood but by all the ways that 
count. Just like Joyce has become a mother to me. Ok I used to have 
the hots for her, but who can blame me. She's a hot woman. OK scary 
visual place. I'll stop now.

Like I was saying. Why would I want a normal life?

I am a demon magnet. Born and breed.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.