Weekend Block Party In The South Gutter

["Shadow" <Shadowlander1@xxxxxxx>]

TO: Everyone
From: The Flying Fox with the keys to the liquor cabinet
SUBJECT: Weekend Block Party In The South Gutter

PARTY!!!!
Starting now... hey, we're not all Americans around here and some of us
do think Columbus was a conquer - I'm part Native American don't get me
started. Anyway to celebrate the liberation of the liquor cabinet and
more importantly all the responsible "adult-type" people being gone
until next Tuesday! Yes boys and girls I know when listmum is due back.
::insert evil laughter:: So as long as we have the placed cleaned up
and all evidence of our part in the Great Turkey Liberation covered up
properly ---- I say: "The cabinet is open... where the hell is
everyone?!"

To start the party off right... I am issuing a challenge to the lists -
be afraid, be very afraid. Since Riley is about the biggest turkey I
can think of at the moment, next to Tara's dippy brother, and I know he
should be killed off for the sake of humanity as a whole. Here is the
challenge:

Riley and/or Tara's dip of a brother - his name escapes me at the
moment, I just call him Bubba - do something really stupid, maybe
getting bit by Harmony and attacking Willow.

A} Must have the line:
"You touched something that didn't belong to you. You proceeded to
bruise something that didn't belong to you. Now I am going to take
something that belongs to you... Dru get the knife."
I don't care who says it, but it would be cool as hell if it was Buffy.
:)

B} Must have two or more of the following:
1. The Scoobies going to LA to talk Angel into letting Angelus out for
the day to kill the doofus twit that hurt Willow.
2. Spike and Anya sitting back and commenting on the torture succession
and how Angel has gotten rusty over the years.
3. Xander beating the hell out of Bubba - even if he wasn't the one that
hurt Willow, just let the Zeppo beat the hell out of him.
4. Tara doing a little Scooby bonding with Buffy and Cordelia at the
mall and ending up buying a stuffed badger and a stuffed fruit bat with
one fang. :)
5. Spike getting into the spike jungle juice and declaring; "I am the
Lord of the Woods Outback! All nymphs bow to my greatness!"
6. Cordelia in leather - don't care why, she just has to be in leather.

C} One or more of the following items has to appear:
1. A copy of Better Dungeons and Crypts - Spike's crypt being featured
in it is optional.
2. A feathered boa
3. A camcorder and a bunch of blank tapes
4. Buffy's dairy
5. An axe, Mr. Pointy and this wicked looking pike that Buffy lets no
one touch with washing their hands and putting on a pair of gloves.
6. Giles' little red car with a scantly clad woman inside - extra points
if Giles actually has a pretty innocent excuse for the half dress
seductress being in his car calling him "Ripper-pooh". }:)

D} Extra points for any of the following:
1. Willow and Anya talking about their frog and bunny fears...
additional points if they are doing so while slaying a really ugly demon
at the time.
2. A vampire turkey chasing after Xander.
3. Joyce killing the vampire turkey - extra points if it is done with
cranberries.
4. The Chosen Two getting jumped and tickled mercilessly by two grinning
witches - Faith got out of jail on good behavior deal with it.

And finally - Buffy can't be all upset that Riley got tortured to
death - hell she is out in the South Gutter with the rest of us
partying. And no, you can't talk her into stripping! That possessive
little redhead is here too, you know. So sit back and relax boys and
girls Shad has the keys to the liquor cabinet and has declared the
entire weekend - starting now - to be the First annual "List Gutter
Riley Bashing Festival and Block Party" Not to be confused with the
Annual Block Party and Poodle-boy Shaving Tournament mind you. ::big
evil looking grin::

Let the games begin --- the cabinet is open and the hot tubs are
awaiting!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadow -
Dir. of Pub. Safety of the SECLGA and Chief Dungeon Keeper.
Vampire Teddy Bear and Flying Fox {Fruit Bat} of the Woods Outback.
The Big Bad and Little Comma.