Fic: Silent Prayers

[brainysmurf16@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Author: Regina- BrainySmurf16@xxxxxxxxxxx

Rating: PG-just a brief mention of f/f sex

Pairing: Buffy/Willow

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, I just use them from time to time for 
my own gratification

Authors Note: It's my first time, be gentle




Silent Prayers

I sat, watching her sleep. Nothing new there. It seems it 
was the only way I spent my nights lately. She had changed so much 
since I first met her. Sure, she was still was charming and bubbly as 
ever, but that light that used to shine from her eyes had grown dim. 
She wasn't the blissfully innocent Willow she used to be. She'd seen 
things she shouldn't have had to see; done things she never should 
have had to do. All because of me. 
I never wanted to drag her into this, or any of them for that 
matter. I was the slayer. "She ALONE will fight the forces of 
darkness." Alone. It was a word I feared. A word that jumped to 
meet me every time she followed me into battle. What if this was the 
one? What if she died? I could never go on without her. She was my 
reason for living. From the first time I saw her, I knew that. I 
knew that we were meant for each other. A part of me felt complete 
in a way it never had before. 
As the years grew on and we grew closer, the feeling only 
intensified. I loved her in a way I'd never loved anyone before. 
She was a part of me, she was my soulmate. Only after a string of 
meaningless relationships did I realize what had always been there, I 
didn't just lover her, I was IN love with her. So I had taken the 
plunge, face first with my eyes wide open. I fell in love for the 
first time in my life. Lucky for me, she loved me back. She had 
saved me. Saved me from my pain, my life, myself. She gave me a 
reason to go on, a reason to live. And I had never been happier in 
my entire life. The best memories of my life were with the woman who 
was lying beside me. She had taught me how to truly love, and asked 
for nothing in return. 
That's why it tore me apart that I couldn't give her the one 
thing I know she wants.
A semi-normal life. A life that wasn't riddled with demons and 
prophecies. A life where she didn't have to worry about the world 
ending every other week. I would give anything to be able to give 
it to her. I wonder if her life would have been better if I had 
never come to Sunndydale. If her life had gone on as normal and 
she'd never met Buffy Summers. Maybe she'd be with Xander, and 
they'd have a family. Maybe her life would be just like I know she 
always planned it. Maybe. But the reality I did come to Sunnydale. 
I know my life is better for having known her. But I still wonder if 
hers is. 
I know she loves me. I see it every time she looks at me; I 
feel it every time we touch. It just hurts me that I can't give her 
the life she deserves. The first time we made love I cried, and as 
I gave my heart over to the love of my live I had pledged to do 
everything in my power to make her happy. And I was failing her. 
I looked down at the delicate face beneath me. She looked 
almost ethereal bathed in the moonlight, her hair falling gently 
across her face. I lowered my lips to hers and gave her a soft 
kiss. As she moved closer to me, I settled back down beside her, and 
allowed a tear to escape my eye as she curled herself around me. I 
listened to her heart beating in rhythm with mine, and said a silent 
prayer to whoever had allowed her to come into my life. I loved her 
with every fiber of my being, and for now, that was all I could give 
her. I laid my head down next to hers and resumed watching her 
sleep, praying that that would be enough.