OHHHHHHHHHHHH! U WANTED THE HAND CUFFS BACK! OK! SORRY! JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO GET THEM OFF OF A CERTIAN BILLY IDOL LOOK ALIKE! WE USING THEM TO ACT OUT THE "CRADLE OF LOVE" VIDEO. WITH OUR OWN ADDED EXTRAS! SORRY. THERE ON THEIR WAY!
>From: "Shadow"
>Reply-To: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
>To: "BuffywantsWillow" , "buffyloveswillow"
>Subject: ::BuffyWantsWillow:: After Weekend Block Party Report/Memory Refresher
>Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 15:20:41 -0500
>
>TO: All Department Heads; United Vegetable Empire; and All Other
>Interested and/or Confused Parties.
>FROM: The Director of Public Safety
>SUBJECT: After Weekend Block Party Report/Memory Refresher.
>
>Good afternoon, it has come to my attention that several List members
>are complaining that they could not find the Weekend Riley Bashing and
>Block Party in the South Gutter and thus could not attend. However,
>after checking the security tapes for the Tri-Gutter community I have
>found that many of these complains are not true. All of you were there,
>we have the proof on tape... if you are unable to recall the weekend I
>will be happy to refresh your memories on or off list. Although I will
>give a general recap of the last four days of the Block Party, reframing
>from actually naming any names as much as possible to protect the
>identities of our more "enthusiastic" party-goers.
>
>Item 1:
>Regarding the complaints of a giant sober blue stick-in-the-mud giving
>directions to the Block Party and misdirecting several listmembers to
>the Sunnydale proper Museum of Natural History for the weekend lecture
>tour of "Rocks: Sediment or Animate!" - the hidden truth of our
>hard-headed neighbours. After a lengthy investigation the giant sober
>blue stick-in-the-mud has been identified as one Sam Eagle of the
>Muppets. A spokesman for the Muppet community has stated that while Sam
>is known for his legendary "restraint" and is the poster-bird of the
>"Royal Order of Non-Fun", his overall sobriety at the time he was
>directing traffic is a bit suspect. Apparently even Sam Eagle found the
>lecture tour to be an utter bore. The exact meaning of the lecture tour
>itself is still under investigation, but Security definitely feels that
>it is hellmouthy in nature and are looking into the matter... after all
>Ira and Shelia Rosenberg were both spotted at the lecture by our spies.
>
>Item 2:
>Regarding the chant "Little Foolie he's our man... if he can't do it no
>one can" - while the chant was a part of the free concert and air raid
>siren contest, I am advising our Gutter shore man to rethink whatever he
>has planned... especially if it involves the chosen two and their little
>redhead... both slayers are on the warpath at the moment. {See item 3
>for details on that}
>
>Item 3:
>Regarding the young man, with the lamp shade on his head, that was
>dancing with the little redhead from Sunnydale proper, no matter how
>innocent the dance was, two very ticked off Slayers are after you now.
>Especially after they saw "their" little redhead wearing the young man's
>trademark "Wet Noodle Master of the Universe" t-shirt later the next
>night, both Slayers are in a homicidal rage and are determined to induce
>you to the joys of being a permanent member of the Vienna Boy's Choir.
>For the moment it is advisable that you fly high to one of the emergency
>shelters until the little redhead and her Wicca partner can properly
>distract the over protective chosen two from their path of vengeance.
>It shouldn't take more than three to four days... if we can get the
>leather handcuffs and whips back from one of our bards who signed them
>out of "research purposes".
>
>Item 4:
>Regarding our Roaming Band of Gutter Poets and their performance
>pieces... it was interesting to say the least. Although Security is a
>bit concerned about the female leather clad poet who was reenacting the
>fabled "Amazon who stands with shaking spear"... was it really necessary
>to stand on top of the small mountain that over looks the Gutter and
>Woods Outback yelling, "Bring me the head of Joxer the Mighty... a
>thousand dinars for the head of the Mighty-useless One"??
>
>Item 5:
>Regarding the mass draining of the small cantaloupe patch near the
>demonic cabbage patch over the weekend... they are true. The forrest
>creature responsible for the carnage has released this statement "Hey
>I'm a vampire fruit bat and I have to eat... at least I didn't turn any
>of them! Humans and their morals... next thing I know you guys are
>going to be demanding that I cease taunting the United Vegetable
>Empire's vampire tomatoes with bottles of ketchup. You humans just
>don't understand the vampire fruit bat and vampire tomato code of
>conduct!" End quote.
>
>Item 6:
>Regarding the were-badger riding his scooter through the South Gutter at
>all hours with the scantly clad former-cheerleader - please return the
>former May Queen to LA; she is due back at work soon.
>
>Item 7:
>Regarding the sighting of the Masked Road Runner who made several
>appearances all weekend at the Block Party... the identity of the masked
>Road Runner is under investigation and we will keep you posted as
>invents warrant. The Masked Road Runner's request that her "lil comma"
>quite goofing around and post an update to SOMETHING is being looked
>into at the moment. The Little Comma in question has stated, "As soon
>as I can figure out who the Masked Road Runner IS I will be more then
>happy to update something.... and she can just stop giving my
>Playstation dirty looks like that! That is just mean... eyeing a
>person's Playstation like that - it helps me plot and work things out
>when I can't find our beloved Listmum to bounce ideas off of." The
>Little Comma went on to grumble rather rude things about the evil adult
>world and trying to make her Listmum one of those "adult-type" people
>that give her the creeps.
>
>Item 8:
>Regarding the new hot tub chastenings in the South Gutter... rumours of
>the former-vengeance demon and her Xander doing very naughty things in
>our new hot tubs are true. 22 videotapes cataloging the event were
>found in one of the private rooms in the South Gutter hotel and returned
>to the couple. Oh gods the images on those tapes! ::shudder::
>
>Item 9:
>Will the owner of the twelve sheep, two goats, and seven cows... please
>get them off of the roof of the City Hall of Sunnydale proper? If not
>removed soon they will be claimed by the Gutter Party Planning Committee
>and used for our next Block Party commemorating the first time we all
>saw Willow smile - it does tend to light up the whole room doesn't it?
>
>Item 10:
>The Chosen Two Naked Slaying demo was a complete success even with that
>little kink in the end where the Slayers pounced on their little redhead
>and did naughty things to her for hours and hours! Thankfully the event
>was captured on video by two daring forest creatures that witnessed the
>whole thing as they shared a bowl of popcorn and drink spiked jungle
>juice, while they were discussing the merits of wet t-shirt contests.
>What they were doing with that camcorder in the South Gutter at the time
>is still a bit of a mystery.
>
>Is any of this ringing any bells to anyone? I mean really? It was a
>blast... even with the wild turkey stampeded that trampled the British
>magic-shop owner while chasing after the escaped circus monkey of the
>Woods Outback. The British magic-shop owner is fine although feeling a
>bit stepped on - his words not mine. I understand he was feeling a lot
>better later that night after his Slayer brought him the lead turkey...
>the bird tasted great by the way, especially smothered with gravy and
>apple pie... really it did. :) Teach that stupid bird to mess with our
>favourite British magic-shop owner.
>
>We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic.
>
>Shadow -
>Dir. of Pub. Safety of the SECLGA and Chief Dungeon Keeper.
>Vampire Teddy Bear and Flying Fox {Fruit Bat} of the Woods Outback.
> The Big Bad and Little Comma.
>
>
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