FF: Stranger in my house (2/?)

["Christeen Demons" <Shyfox30@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hey guys.:-) Nother update for ya.:-) Hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: Joss owns em...I own nothing but this timeline.:-)

Alt: Well, yeah, do I write anything else?

The song in this chapter is by Doug Stone and is called 'Sometimes I forget' 
great song title, huh?;-)

Now, On with the tale.:-)




Chapter two: Sometimes I forget

Sometimes I forget, and reach across the bed.
In that early morning light you?re in my arms again.


Lights. Motion. Music. She swam in a daze of erotic feeling, sensing the 
pull of her lover as they became one, spinning into the heavens on a cloud 
of red hot passion. She could feel her lover beside her, and yet she wasn?t 
able to make out either the size or shape of her partner in the dazzling 
brightness.

She heard her name being called, like a whisper on the wind echoing through 
a long tranquil night, and something inside of her stired at the 
sound....drawing closer to the familiar, as it recognized a soul deep 
connection.

?I love you.? The voice echoed again, growing distant as the form began to 
move away from her.

?Don?t go.? She wimpered, feeling an immediate sense of loss at the 
departure. ?I just found you!? She cried, growing desperate as no answer 
came from her plea.

The voice returned, casting a balm over her soul as she heard it?s 
reassuring words. ?It won?t be long, and I won?t be far. All you have to 
do is look for me.? A soft impression of a kiss was placed upon her cheek 
and then the voice was gone, leaving her confused and alone.

*****

In the early hours of the morning, Buffy woke in her strange, new house, 
searching the empty space beside her with a roaming hand. It was almost as 
if she expected somebody to be there, even though she had gone to bed alone. 
She stared pensively around the room, wondering why she felt like she was 
missing something important. More important than even her absent memory.

When I?m only half awake, I softly call your name.
For a moment you?re with me, and I can still believe it will always be this 
way.

The redhead was still, except for the rhythmic motions of her chest moving 
up and down as she breathed. Her fingers twitched on the soft fur of the 
panda bear she was holding tightly in her arms, and eyes moved endlessly 
beneath closed eyelids as the dreamer was caught in REM sleep. She thought 
for a moment that she heard someone calling to her,
and she tried to answer back but her tongue seemed to be lodged permanently 
to the roof of her mouth.

But the voice continued to hound her, and she stirred then, emitting a low 
grunt as she grew frustrated by the insistent calling of her name. ?Buffy?? 
Her brows furrowed, even though her eyes were still shut tight as she 
waited for the returning sound of her lover.
She waited half a beat, then called for her again, growing confused at the 
continued silence, where there was once a voice. Bright green eyes popped 
open, and scanned the room as she tried to remember where she was. The 
different but still recognizable decor sank in amongst her senses, 
completing the picture for her half asleep brain. For a
moment she had forgotten, in her dreams she had been taken back, almost 
magically, to the days when all she had to worry about was what color to 
paint the nursery. When Buffy had wrapped her up in her arms at night and 
held her like she was the most precious thing on Earth. Now as she woke to 
the harsh reality of Giles? bedroom, the sun beaming merrily in through the 
window, almost mocking her with its cheerful nature, all Willow really 
wanted to do was bury her head under the pillow and go back to her dream 
world, where at least she could still be by Buffy?s side again.

*****

But sometimes I forget in the middle of the day.
Lost in my routine and for a while I?m okay.

Things didn?t seem as confusing when she was focused on something, like 
doing the dishes, or helping her mom to make supper. In between the chores, 
the two women would talk, Buffy mostly asking questions about herself and 
other people and Joyce trying to answer them as best she could.

The one thing Joyce hadn?t been able to explain away was the phone 
conversation Buffy had overheard earlier in the day. She had called Giles 
to see how Willow was making out, as worried about the poor girl as she had 
been when her daughter-in-law had left the day before.

Worried even more when Giles told her Willow hadn?t emerged from the room, 
except to use the bathroom and get drinks of water, even refusing the 
breakfast Giles had meticulously prepared. Neither had she shown any signs 
of interest when he had asked what she wanted for lunch. She had hoped 
Xander?s visit would cheer her up in the afternoon, and after hanging up 
with Giles, had been staring pensively out the window,
when Buffy had asked her what was wrong with Willow.

For a moment she had been lost for words, wondering how much her daughter 
had overheard, then had just decided to be as honest as she could be without 
revealing too much information. ?She?s just really worried about you, 
honey.?

Buffy had frowned at that, recalling how little Willow had actually visited 
her in the hospital, and the fact that the red-head hadn?t been to visit her 
since she got home. ?Then why hasn?t she been around? I mean, if we?re 
friends, why is she avoiding me??

Joyce, who had felt like she?d opened the biggest can of worms, had set her 
steaming cup of coffee down on the countertop, as she tried to find some way 
to explain Willow?s absense. As she searched fruitlessly for the right 
words to say, Buffy watched her mother, seeing the worry lines that crinkled 
around the corners of her eyes Buffy knew that the
answer to this question was important to her, though she couldn?t fathom 
why. There was a piece to this puzzle that just wasn?t fitting.

?She?s trying to adjust, honey. You two have been friends for so long, 
that...it?s kind of strange for her that you don?t remember her.? The words 
felt wrong coming out, but Buffy seemed to accept them in the way they were 
intended.

Buffy had nodded, pondering the words and the meaning behind them as she had 
left her mother alone in the kitchen. She still felt like the whole 
situation was weird, but maybe that was to be expected. It was true that 
she didn?t remember them, maybe they didn?t know how to act around her 
anymore, either.

*****
I might laugh and carry on while I?m talking with a friend.
Like everythings not wrong, like you?re not really gone.
Sometimes I forget.

Xander?s visit had picked up her spirits a little, Willow was surprised to 
discover, and her oldest friend in the world had gone all out, going so far 
as to do the Scooby dance for fifteen minutes straight, until she had to 
practically beg him to stop, tears of laughter falling steadily down her 
pale cheeks.

?Thanks Xander, I really needed that.? She had said, when he?d finally 
crashed down on the sofa, panting as he tried to get his breath back from 
dancing.

?Anytime you need a pick me up, I?m your man.? He said, nonchalently, a 
bright grin on his face, glad to see some of the life returning to the 
former ebullient green eyes.

The room started to go quiet again, as Willow started to sink back into her 
sadness, and Xander found himself not wanting to let that happen. ?Hey, 
what do you say we go get a pizza?? Giles told him that she hadn?t been 
eating, and said that if he could get her out of
the house, he?d pay for wherever they went.

Willow felt her stomach turn at the mere thought of all that red, tomatoey 
sauce, and shook her head quickly. ?No thanks, Xander. I?m not 
really...hungry.? In fact, she had to swallow just to keep down whatever 
stomach acids that were remaining.

?Well...we don?t have to get Pizza, you know. I?ll take you anywhere you 
want. Come on, what do you say?? He prodded, trying to encourage her into 
the excursion.

Willow had looked at him doubtfully, but seeing the worried expression in 
his deep brown eyes, almost hidden by the jovial expression on his face, she 
decided to cut him, and indeed everyone, some slack by not making them worry 
so much about her. It was true they had enough to worry about with Buffy?s 
amnesia, she really didn?t need to be adding
herself onto the list. ?You know what I could really go for?? She asked, 
trying to perk herself up.

?I?m all ears.? Xander said, the twinkle returning to his eyes. She 
studied his ears dubiously for a moment, jokingly, before he pushed her away 
gently, a mock scolding expression on his face. ?Come on, Will. Tell me.?

?A McDonalds Hamburger.? She chirped.

?Do you wan?t fries with that?? Xander joked, as he got their coats. ?I?ll 
even treat you to one of those leafy green salad thingies.?

Willow had to roll her eyes at that, Buffy?s influence had obviously rubbed 
off on all of her friends as well. By the time they were done feeding her 
with leafy green veggies she?d be very much surprised if she hadn?t turned 
into a rabbit. ?Okay...come on.?

*****
All at once the truth comes rushing back to me.
I remember I?m barely hanging on.
It takes all the strength I have, just to make it pass.
One more hour on my own.

Going to McDonalds had seemed, at the time, a pretty good idea. She hadn?t 
counted on the amount of kids that normally populate the well loved ?kiddie? 
restaurant. She looked around at the kids playing on the playsets, saw them 
running up to embrace their ?Mommies? and ?Daddies? when it was time to 
leave, saw the worried expressions on other parents faces when their kids 
hurt themselves while playing.

Every tiny face reminded her of her present situation. Every couple 
reminded her of what she?d hoped to be doing with Buffy some day, taking 
care of their child together. It was almost more than she could bear, 
watching the happy and not so happy parents, working together to raise their 
family. She guzzled down her food, barely tasting it as she tried to get 
the ordeal over with as quickly as possible.

Xander watched her face, knew what she must be thinking as her eyes traveled 
over the kids on the playground. He couldn?t help feeling sorry for her, 
even though he knew deep down everything would work out right in the 
end...it just had to. He just couldn?t see Buffy never remembering the love 
that he had seen burn between his two best friends. He couldn?t bring 
himself even to acknowledge the fact that she might not ever know her own 
daughter, not with how excited she had been since finding out. He still 
remembered the excited glow that had been on her face as she had insisted on 
showing him every sonagram
picture, taking great care to point out the curve of the baby?s head, and 
the way she sucked on her thumb, even inside of Willow?s womb.

?You wanna go?? He asked, quietly, waiting until her eyes met his before he 
dropped them, unable to bear the look of grief that filled them.

She nodded, gathering her things, and they both left the restaurant, each 
determined not to mention what had happened in there.

*****
Sometimes I forget.
That?s how I?d like to stay.
For a moment I can feel, the way I used to feel.
Before you went away.

The day ended like it had began, each thinking of the other, though neither 
of them knew it at the time. Willow sat on the bed, her arms wrapped around 
her giant panda bear, as she felt her baby merrily kicking around inside of 
her. She was reminded constantly of the
first time it had happened, and the expression that had been on her love?s 
face as she had felt how strong their daughter was. Her heart ached to see 
that look again. She ached just to see her again, to see those eyes shining 
with wonder. Their time together had been so
short, and so beautiful. She wasn?t ready for that time to end. Not yet.

Buffy sat unwittingly in the same position on her bed, staring at the 
photograph that she had found on her dresser. She had no idea why she spent 
so much time looking at it, except that it gave her an inner sense of peace, 
something that she desperately needed now when everything was so uncertain. 
All of the details and facts she had been told held no
real meaning for her, if she couldn?t remember the events taking place, how 
could they. The only thing that seemed to have any real meaning for her was 
this picture clasped tightly in her hands. She would remember this person, 
she promised herself. She would find out why this person seemed to hold the 
key to her soul.

...to be continued.:-)

_________________________________________________________________
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com