Feedbackc:: To Die by the Sword (1/?)

[cilia@xxxxx]

Morning, yawn...
Once again, I'm giving feedback.

Feedback on To Die By the Sword Chapter 1 by Chazzman

-Story-
Very good start and a nice variation on the theme you had to follow, 
it was a mixture of angst and action that was very nicely executed. 
I'm hoping for some explanations about how the battle that made for 
the opening the scene came about though.

-Scenes-
I liked the visuals of the fight scene, very graphic and very good 
and I didn't have to use too much imagination to see the images cause 
they were well written. 
Willow waking up in morgue, was a classic highlander wake-up scene, 
I've read a quite a few versions of this scene over the years, but 
this ranks highly and is nicely topped of by Willow's thoughts on her 
situation.
But the scene where Tare is holding Willow it didn't click for me. I 
don't know maybe there wasn't enough build up to Willow's death she, 
to me, just died. We see her pushing Tare out of the way and the in 
the next scene she dead. Hearing her last thoughts or maybe just a 
shot were she takes her last breath and then closes her eyes would 
have improved an already great start.

-Characters-
Most of them are pretty much in tune with what one would expect at 
such as early stage of the story. Although I'd like to know just how 
the entire cast of both shows happened to be there.

That's it for now and I'm looking forward for more,
Cilia


--- In buffywantswillow@y..., PChazzman@a... wrote:
> TITLE: To Die by the Sword (1/?)
> AUTHOR: Chazzman
> E-MAIL: PChazzman@a... 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story. They 
all belong 
> to Joss and the WB network. Please don't sue. 
> SPOILERS: Season 5. 
> SUMMERY: Highlander X-over challenge from Hhdouglas.
> RATED: PG
> DISTRIBUTION: Just ask me, please...
> FEEDBACK: Is very welcome.
> AUTHOR'S NOTE: