Re: FF: NKA

[mcmacladdie@xxxxxxxxx]

This was pretty good. I'm really not that good with words sometimes 
(unless I'm writing a fic), so please forgive this for being short. 
I think that you've got the charachterization down pretty good so 
far, and that seems to be the biggest problem among fanficcers 
nowadays (other than grammar and punctuation... I'm really picky 
about that). Anyways, I'm going off now to read the rest of the 
serise. Thanks to Kirayoshi for refering me here!

--Squall Leonhart

--- In buffywantswillow@y..., "Christeen Demons" <Shyfox30@h...> 
wrote:
> Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story belong to 
Joss...the rest, 
> well...I'll let you know at the end.:-) I prefer to keep it a 
surprise for 
> as long as I can.
> 
> This story is not part of my Sappho's spell series.
> 
> This is a Buffy/Willow story, but it may not appear that way at 
first.
> 
> Comments and criticisms are always welcome. Let me know what I'm 
doing 
> right as well as wrong.:-) Every writer needs it.
> 
> NKA (No known Allergies)
> Part One:
> 
> A tall, curvaceous blonde surveyed the loud, boisterous crowd that 
> surrounded her with intelligent vibrant blue eyes. She noticed the 
young 
> people on the dance floor, dancing to a wild beat that she could 
never hope 
> to imitate. She had tried dancing once...but it had ended in a 
mishap and 
> she hadn't tried it again. She doubted she would ever be able to 
relax her 
> frame to be able to dance in that jumbled, erratic way, and she 
wasn't sure 
> she would ever want to. Nobody she knew ever
> danced in such a manner.
> 
> Her eyes moved from the dancing crowd to a table set away from the 
dance 
> floor, and the people surrounding it. Her keen study into human 
interaction 
> was needed as she studied the four young people that convened 
there. A 
> short blonde girl captured her attention right away, the tense 
lines in her 
> bodies frame giving away her irritation, though the smile on her 
face belied 
> such emotion. The contrast was confusing, but she supposed the girl 
was 
> trying to cover up her true emotion, the
> one the white knuckles wrapped around her drinking cup gave away. 
If the 
> girl had been squeezing the cup any harder, it surely would have 
shattered 
> into peices.
> 
> The woman noticed how the young blonde's eyes seemed to keep 
flickering to 
> the red headed girl sitting across from her, as if she wanted to 
maintain 
> the contact but was afraid to let her eyes linger too long. From 
her human 
> interaction studies, the woman thought that the young blonde held a 
secret 
> attraction for the girl, but was afraid to reveal it. The woman 
wasn't sure 
> why she would be afraid to reveal such an attraction...surely it 
was 
> acceptable in this day and age, as the
> red headed girl's close proximity to another blonde headed girl 
gave 
> evidence of. `That must be it.' The woman thought to herself. 
The red 
> headed girl must already be involved with the blonde she was 
sitting next 
> to, and the other blonde must think that her affections wouldn't be
> reciprocated or appreciated.
> 
> She noticed the fourth companion around the small table kept 
looking around 
> the room, appearing to either be looking for someone to show up, or 
avoiding 
> the tension that the woman could sense in the group from her 
vantage point. 
> He was of an average height, not as tall as some of the men that 
she knew, 
> but his looks were astheically pleasing: dark hair, and dark brown 
eyes set 
> in a not too narrow face, being the described standards that most 
of the 
> people she knew looked for in a mate.
> 
> She was startled as cool, calculating green eyes swept across the 
crowd in 
> the room, before settling on hers for a brief period of time. The 
> assignment she had been assigned to reared it's head as she stared 
into the 
> green orbs, wondering briefly if she had been recognized. She 
waited
> until they moved on, back to their impassive study of the red 
headed woman 
> she sat next to, before she moved, standing from her seat and 
walking in the 
> direction of the pay phone.
> 
> "Hey! What's the hurry, Baby? I thought me and you could get 
better 
> acquainted." An overzealous teenage male that had been observing 
her for 
> some time from a dark corner, suddenly stepped into her path, 
blocking her 
> progress with a hand on her shoulder.
> 
> "Please, remove your hand." The woman said, politely, keeping her 
voice low 
> hoping to avoid creating a scene.
> 
> "What? This hand? Why would I want to do that? You're nice...and 
soft..." 
> The obviously intoxicated male started feeling up and down her 
arm in a 
> presumptious manner. His face turned bewildered as he felt 
something 
> strange underneath the woman's blouse. "...and metal?"
> 
> "Remove your hand or I will remove your arm." The woman threatened 
in a low 
> growl.
> 
> "Hey...no problem lady...whatever you say." The teenager said, 
backing up 
> rapidly from the blue fire in the woman's eyes. "Freak of 
nature." The guy 
> mumbled under his breath, while colliding with a dancing couple on 
the dance 
> floor. He apologized rapidly to the irate couple, then slipped 
into the 
> crowd, leaving the befuddled couple behind to stare after him.
> 
> Said Freak of nature looked around the room to see if the scene had 
caused a 
> large amount of disturbance. The woman's eyes met an equally blue 
pair, and 
> she let her eyes fall demurely to the floor as she continued on her 
way to 
> the pay phone.
> 
> Stepping up to the archaic mode of communication, the woman picked 
up the 
> handset, then discretely hit the triangle shaped broach that was 
pinned to 
> her blouse. "Seven to Voyager, please respond."
> 
> 
> Disclaimer continued: The characters of Star trek Voyager belong 
of course 
> to Paramount.
> 
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