Fic: GhostSlayer (4/?)

[annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]

GhostSlayer, Part Four.
Comments/Flames/Etc. to: annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx

--

"You don't think its too subtle, do you? You don't think people 
might drive down and not see the sign?" Buffy chewed her lip 
thoughtfully.
Willow looked up to where the old strip-joint's pink neon tubing 
had been re-formed into a large succubus rubbing her legs 
suggestively. (A slight modification from the original cowgirl sign.) 
Behind the succubus, an animated stake plunged in and out.
"Where did you get the cool neon stake from?" Willow asked.
Buffy blushed. "It used to be a lot further down, and upside down," 
she admitted.
Willow stared at the sign some more. "Do you think..."
"No," Buffy cut her off. "I don't."

*

"Anya, any calls? Any messages?" A pause. "Any customers?"
"No, Mr. Giles." Anya reported dutifully.
"It's a good job, isn't it. Please, type something." He removed his 
specs for a cursory polish. "We're paying you for this after all."
"You are? Wow!" Anya started typing extremely rapidly.

*

"If something's going to happen," Xander stated as he opened the 
door to Cordelia's apartment, "I want it to happen to you first. 
After you!" With a flourish he gestured for Cordy to enter first. He 
followed her in. "Hmm. Lot of space," he noted. He squeezed the bulb 
of a strange Willow-concocted gizmo. It beeped pathetically every so 
often as he looked around.
"That's my bedroom," Cordelia slammed the door before Xander could 
take another step. "Nothing happened in there."
"Yeah, that's not what everyone at school said." Xander 
muttered. "This the kitchen?"
"Yep." Cordelia showed Xander the functional kitchen. Only the 
microwave showed any signs of use. "I was about to make dinner when I 
heard a noise coming from the fridge. I was about to phone for a 
repair guy when this... thing... jumped out at me screaming, 'lunch!'"
"And that was when it latched onto your tits?" Xander grinned.
"It wasn't funny!" Cordelia fumed.
"No. Of course not." Xander wiped at the nosebleed that was 
threatening to make his head explode.
"It wasn't!" Cordelia crossed her arms and huffed.
"Well, whatever it is, it's gone now." Xander said.
"How can you be so sure?" Cordelia frowned.
"Well, I'm pretty certain there's no monsters clinging to your..."

*

"So," Buffy asked. "How'd you get the black eye?"
Anya stared at the table miserably. "Willow said there was no petty 
cash left to buy food, so I suggested roasting Miss Kitty."
"Oh my god! No wonder she hit you."
Anya nodded. "She said there was only enough for one."
Buffy's reply was lost as the phone began to ring. Anya picked up.
"Yes, of course we're serious," she said. "You do? You have? No 
kidding." Excitedly, she scrabbled about for a pen and paper. "The 
address? Oh yes, we'll be discrete. We're noted for our discretion."

*

Giles' Citroen burst through the door of Sunnydale Museum. The car 
pulled up at the security guard's office, knocking over those silly 
red-rope partition stumps. "Which way to the demon?" Buffy shouted 
through the window.
The guard, speechless, pointed towards the Egyptian department. 
The Citroen jetted off at a respectable five miles per hour and 
came to a rest as the aisle between two sarcophagi narrowed a little 
too much for the battered car to squeeze through.
"Gah!" Willow struggled to climb out through the window. "This looks 
so easy on TV." She watched Xander fling himself out and land with a 
graceful forward roll. "Hey!" she accused. "How'd you do that?"
Xander shrugged. "A mis-spent childhood watching Starsky and 
Hutch." he admitted. "Also, I forgot my nuclear accelerator. Need a 
hand?" He helped Willow clamber out from her wedged situation.
Buffy climbed over the hood of the car to join them. "Let's split 
up!" she ordered. "We can do more damage that way."
Xander grinned. "Now you're talking!"

*

"There is one thing I want to know," Buffy said as she and Willow 
walked the corridors alone. Xander had gotten the short straw and was 
off patrolling the Nigerian Mask collection with Giles.
"What's that?" Willow sucked mocha through a straw.
"Did you really eat Miss Kitty?"
Willow snorted her mocha. "Do you really think I could eat a 
defenceless little pussycat?" she asked.
Buffy smiled warmly. "I didn't think so."
"No, Tara ate her." Willow wiped her mouth. "We get through at least 
six Miss Kittys a week. Isn't that right, Tara?"
>From the shadows, a voice said, 'Woof'.

*

"Giles?" Xander called out into the semi-darkness. "You there?"
No answer. Xander gulped, unable to break eye-contact with the cute 
little catgirl demon licking her paws in the middle of the hall.
Suddenly Giles was at his side. "My goodness," Giles said. "A 
nekogaaru. Quick, look away. The effect of their nipples is 
supposedly mesmerising."
"No shit?" Xander took a few more polaroids for good measure. "How 
do we defeat them?"
"Um," Giles racked his brain as his distinguished composure began to 
waver. "Actually, I think it involves ice-cream."
As soon as the words 'ice-cream' were uttered, the catgirl demon 
stopped licking her paws and strolled over to rub against Giles' legs.
"Get Buffy!" Giles' scream dopplered away as he fled the building, 
area and State.

*

The owner of the Sunnydale Museum glowered at the scoobs. "I had no 
idea it would cost so much!" he railed. "I refuse to pay!"
"No problem!" Buffy shrugged. "We can put it right back where we 
found it. Tara, cough up the goods." Tara whined.
"Okay! Okay, I'll pay." The owner forked over four big ones. "Now, 
please leave!"
Buffy gave Willow a high-five. "Wanna go celebrate?"
Willow gave Buffy a radiant smile. "Your place or mine?" she asked.
Following depressedly behind them, Tara whined once more. Her tail 
dragged miserably along the floor. 
Buffy looked over her shoulder. "Hey Scooby," she said. "I'm sure 
there'll be some extra kibbles for you, too!"
"Yip!" Tara followed dutifully along, happy once more.

*

End Part 4.