RE: End of the Month Gutter Report for May 2001

["Shadow" <Shadowlander1@xxxxxxx>]

Alex, Alex, Alex, ALEX!!!!!!!

My were-badger troublemaking scooter tramp friend... we have 125 TONS of
Lime Green Jell-O, I seriously doubt that the Amazons are going to go
through THAT much Jell-O in a lifetime, no matter how many ancient
ceremonies and festivals of 'nakedness' they have. And believe me there is
a lot of that... you wouldn't believe what their calendar of events looks
like. But that is neither here nor there.

The only reason they are getting first crack at the Jell-O surplus is
well... they are at the top of the list, and when I last checked 'Chase' was
next in the Official Gutter Directory. Oh wait actually Anne-Lise is, but
she hasn't voice any interest in the Lime Green Jell-O yet, followed by Anya
who has already collected several cases mumbling something about Wicca in
Jell-O. So go dry the peacock's tears and no you can't use the half-track
to bring home the Jell-O... you better use the heavy equipment mover... I
understand Faith knows how to use a forklift.

And before I hear any complaints about Buffy being at the top of the Gutter
Directory... she's not. Her last name is Summers, although I do understand
that was talk about the Slayer combining her share of the Jell-O with a
certain ex-vengeance demon to help make Wicca in Jell-O. While Maclay and
Rosenberg were over heard mumbling something about pouncing on the chosen
two and making Slayers in Jell-O.


Shadow --
Dir. of Pub. Safety of the SECoLGA and Chief Dungeon Keeper. Vampire Teddy
Bear and Flying Fox {Fruit Bat} of the Woods Outback. The Big Bad and
Little Comma. Mistress of Mischief, corruptor of the innocent, tormentor of
Quindolyn. Founding Member of the Get Willow and Buffy Naked Society.
{GWBN -- Hey, its a way of life.} Dark Mistress of Weirdness. Yang to
Alex's Yin. Charter Member of the Hand of Chaos, member of the Order of the
Silver Claw of the Highland Werewolves of Gaia. :[

AIM Screen Name: ShadowDrake
Yahoo Name: drakesshadow
MSN Messenger: Tankesly@xxxxxxxxxxx {Shadow}

-----Original Message-----
From: keeper444@xxxxxxxxx [mailto:keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]
Sent: 31 May 2001 20:03
To: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx; buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: End of the Month Gutter Report for May
2001

To: The Director of Public Safety and All Other Interested Parties
(party who said party, I'm up for a party I think a party's a great
idea, Come on Sammy Shadow's having a party...oops sorry I got side
tracked)
From; The Undercover Gutter Dwelling Scooter Tramp and Part Time Trouble
Making Were-Badger
Subject: An Answer to the Bias and Unfair Gutter Report for May 2001

My Dear Shadow,
While I'm sure you didn't mean to be so judgmental in your latest report
I feel I must rebut (and an incredibly nice butt it is) your somewhat
stilted perception of certain events that occurred this last month.

Item1: Since you have seen fit to deny your fellow gutter dwellers to
privilege of having their fair share of the abundance of Lime Green
Jello it seems that those of us less privileged will have to stick with
our standard Red Cherry and White Grape varieties of the wonderfully
quivering treat and of course our own Whip Cream (Whips oh boy is the
warrior mongoose coming?) for our private uses although you have forced
me personally to disappoint a certain peacock who cried all night on the
dark bunny and my shoulders because she was so hurt by your decision and
also by the comments in Item 3 which I will address later.

I suppose this means that we will have to stick to mashed potatoes for
our monument to the revered Goddess Missy Good the patron Goddess of all
things Fic. ah well dull but effective.

Item2: Despite the Hover Tanks were not taken for "joyrides" but to be
put to there proper use in our annual Muttboy and Riley the beefstickboy
shippers hunt down and roadkill bake off without the hover tanks to
shape the critters it is hard to get them to stay on the cookie sheets
while they bake!

Besides we put them back sort of and a few empty Jungle Juice bottles
rolling around never hurt anyone...much.

Another thing while it is easy to fit three very friendly critters on
the bike I need something to carry the bags home every time that peacock
goes to the damn mall!

Item3: Sorry about the camcorder it was the dark bunny's idea the last
time we all three used the hot tub. We got a little carried away and
forgot to take it with us when we left. Sorry about that so if you could
just return it with the tape that was in it, I'm sure none of you are
interested in that tape strictly family portraits<g>

Thank you for your time and consideration, I now return you to your
irregularly unscheduled fics.

Later
Alex
(Unofficial Village Idiot,
undercover gutter-dwelling scooter-trash,
part time trouble making were-badger,
Semi-retired Scooter Tramp,
holy spook,
The Middle Finger of The Hand of Chaos,
and the Yin to Shadow's Yang.)
............................
Apparent List-orphan: Where are you Mum and Da? We miss you
.............................
Laissez les bon temps roulez!!!!!
............................
{Proud Member}... BtVS Writers Guild....because Fiction makes anything
possible.


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