Fic: In The Daylight (2/1) (For Melinda)

[annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]

In The Daylight.
Comments/Flames/Etc. to: annelise@s...

--

"Of all the things worth fighting for," Buffy murmured, "this is the 
one that matters the most."
Willow nodded, sipping her own mocha, lost in Buffy's eyes. She 
wanted to reach out over the table for Buffy's hand, to intertwine 
her fingers with Buffy's, to say how much she loved her. But the 
crowd of people pressing around her made her nervous. With a blush, 
she remembered the scene outside Sunnydale High when they'd kissed. 
Instead, she laid her hand on the table, inches away from Buffy's, 
and whispered, "I want to hold your hand and kiss you, but I'm too 
nervous."
Buffy laughed, her quiet gaze turning into an intense, loving 
stare. 
"I love you, Willow..." Their eyes locked onto each other. It was 
impossible to break that spell. So much so, that they didn't even 
notice how close her faces were.
"You don't mean that," Willow said, exerting herself to articulate 
the words properly in spite of her heavy breathing.
"Yes, I do. I don't give a damn about what people say. I'm beyond 
that now... I love you and I want everyone to know it."
"We can't," Willow said, her face pulling away from Buffy's. "You 
remember what Giles said... I'd be a risk to you as the Slayer. If 
something happened to you because of me... I couldn't live with that."
"I'm sorry," Buffy muttered, looking down. "But I can't think that 
way."
"Don't be sad," Willow said, holding Buffy's hand, forgetting her 
earlier qualms about public displays of affection. "I just don't 
want you to get hurt..."
Buffy shrugged, still sad, and Willow drew a heavy sigh.
"Buffy, look at me... Look at me... Talk to me?"
Buffy shrugged again. "I... I don't want to talk about it... 
here..."
This time they downed their mochas with little enthusiasm. They 
left the Pump and made their way to the park where they sat on the 
swings.
"No, I think we're gonna fight... You're sad because I'm leaving, 
aren't you? We've been through this before... I've have to go... 
Giles was right, and your mother agreed."
"They just can't accept us. They want to keep us apart, and they're 
using your university applications to achieve it."
"I'll be back in no time... We'll only be a county apart, Buffy... 
And I'll be coming home for vacations... Surely you can survive 
without me for that long." Inside, Willow's heart was breaking. "I'm 
sorry... I didn't want to hurt you. I just..." Willow interrupted 
herself, shaking her head. "Doesn't matter. Let's go, people are 
staring at us."
Willow and Buffy left together without speaking. The joy Buffy felt 
earlier vanished into thin air. Buffy gazed at the people on the 
street, keeping her anger in check. She saw a couple and their 
children walking by, laughing. 'People without a care in the world,' 
Buffy thought, bitterly. Only she knew better, didn't she?
Buffy's heart leaped when she heard Willow say, "Buffy, I love 
you." 
Buffy swallowed... There was no hope for them... Who were they 
trying to fool? With this cruel question rumbling in her head Buffy 
said, "Willow?"
Willow's eyes gazed back. "Yes?"
"I've been thinking... about us..."
"Yes?" Willow asked, showing her nervousness.
"It's no use going on."
"What do you mean?"
Buffy shook her head. "I mean, we should stop everything between 
us. It's no use... We're just fooling ourselves with something that 
can't be."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm gonna lose you sooner or later... It's better now than later."
"Why?"
"Because? it'll hurt less..."
Willow gulped. "Why do you think you're going to lose me?"
Buffy stared at Willow. There was a strange look in her eyes.
"We can't kiss... We can't do anything... We can't even hold 
hands... I want everybody to know that I love you, that we belong to 
each other but we can't, you say..."
"Oh come on, Buffy... Don't you blackmail me."
"I'm not blackmailing you. I'm just telling you how I feel."
"Yes, but you're trying to make me feel guilty. You know I'm 
thinking about your future... The world's cruel, Buffy." Willow 
paused, sighing, her hair caught by the breeze. After a short moment 
of silence, Willow turned her face to Buffy. "People are killed for 
being different, Buffy... and that happens every day."
"One more reason for us to break up." Buffy fought the lump in her 
throat.
"Is that what you really want?"
Buffy swallowed, feeling a knot in her throat. Her heart said 'no', 
but her head said 'yes'. She nodded.
"OK," Willow said, getting up and looking away, "I understand. We're 
through."
Buffy watched as Willow ambled away. She didn't look back, she just 
kept staring down at the ground as she shuffled off. Buffy saw Willow 
walking out of her life... literally.
Buffy returned home. It surprised her that neither of them had 
cried, almost as if they both knew sooner or later that they both 
would part. "Crying is for babies," Buffy whispered, and raced up to 
her room. She locked the door and threw herself down on her bed her 
mind full of thoughts of Willow. She was mad... mad at herself and at 
the world which didn't let them be. It hurt inside... It really 
hurt... Buffy closed her eyes, sitting up on the bed, embracing her 
legs, drawn up to her chin. Tears flowed in spite of herself. Buffy 
shook her head, forcing herself not to cry. Not any more, not ever.

*

Buffy heard a knock on the door. "Buffy, it's me..." Joyce's 
muffled voice called out from the hall. "Let me in."
Reluctantly Buffy jumped out of her bed and unlocked the door. 
Before her mother had time to come in, Buffy jumped back onto her 
bed, lying on her stomach, her hands making an attempt to fluff up 
the pillow.
"Buffy, are you all right?"
Buffy shrugged, her eyes shut and her face turned away from her 
mother's stare.
"Do you know where Willow is?" Her mother drew closer and sat on the 
edge of her bed. When Joyce touched her, Buffy moved away, removing 
her mother's hand from her hair. "Buffy, look at me... I'm talking to 
you."
"What?" Buffy said, rolling over and facing her mother for the first 
time.
"Do know where Willow is? Sheila called to say she hadn't come 
home... She's very worried."
Buffy shrugged again, looking away. She made an all-out effort not 
to cry but she was unable to stop the tears. Joyce hugged her, 
hushing her. Joyce's hug lasted longer than Buffy would have cared 
for in other circumstances. The unbearable pain she felt inside was 
still very much alive. She needed that closeness.
"Buffy, Willow's out there and it's dark. Maybe she's in trouble and 
you're not helping..."
"Oh god." Stupid! Why hadn't she realised it had gotten so late? She 
started putting together her fighting kit when the kitchen door 
shattered.
"Willow, no!" her mother's scream echoed from downstairs. Buffy 
nearly fell down them in her haste.
"I'm back," said Willow, straightening herself up from the still 
form of Joyce and catching a glimpse of Buffy, who felt 
paralysed. "But not for long." Buffy could see Willow's anger. 
Willow's eyes told her everything she needed to know. Willow ran, and 
Buffy let her go, her shadow disappearing into the night. Despite 
being destroyed inside, Buffy knew what she had to do.

*

End.