FIC: These Roads We Travel (1)

["Kimber" <feralspirit@xxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: These Roads We Travel 
AUTHOR: Kimber (kimbertvs@xxxxxxxxx)
DISCLAIMER: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.  
SUMMARY: The long awaited next story in "The Road Series".  
SPOILERS: Everything is fair game.
DISTRIBUTION: The usual suspects. Anyone else, e-mail me please.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This comes because I've had so many great responses to theseries and many people begging for another. Be careful what you wish for.

{{{Indicates Flashbacks}}}

-----------

She's just. . .amazing. Every time I see her and catch a glimpse of that red hair and those fiery green eyes, it reminds me. . .of what I lost.

She's sleeping now. And here I am again like most nights, watching over her. Keeping her safe and sound. The nightmares still won't go away. She wakes in a cold sweat every night screaming my name, screaming her name. . and there's nothing I can do about it. No way to ease the pain or even makeit disappear.  

I'm trapped in my own hell too, though having lived for so long, I can dealwith it, push it down, swallow the words. The words that want to leap from my throat almost every minute of every hour of every day I've spent without her by my side.

She's stirring again and I place the washcloth on her forehead and touch her cheek and stroke her crimson hair. Just as I've done every night for thepast six months. Does it ever get any easier? Is there ever going to be a time when she'll sleep through the night again? Feel safe again? Smile again?

I sigh and go to the window. Dawn is approaching. The sun is beginning tobreak through the inky darkness and I close my eyes, realizing that it's today. *The* day is today. One day at a time. That's what everyone keeps telling me, but that only makes me keep count of all the days leading up to this day. . .and all the hours in between.

I loved. . .correction *love* her.. With everything I am, everything I feel and know, and some things I still don't understand. . I love her and livefor her. That's the only thing that keeps me going, even now.

She's whimpering in her sleep again, and I rush to her side knowing full well what's to come. She struggles harder, more violently, and all I can do is sit back and wait.

She sits bolt upright in the bed, clutching the blankets. "Mom, no!!" Shelooks around and sees me and drops her head in embarrassment. "Will it ever end?" She mumbles.

I reach out and touch her cheek with my hand. Slowly she raises her head and looks at me with that lopsided smile I know all too well. She kisses the palm of my hand and traces some of the old scars there on my arm. I smile because the look on her face is as if she's committing each wound to memory and plotting vengeance for them. Her green eyes lock on my own hazel ones and she scrunches her eyebrows in concentration.

"It's today. You know. . .*the* day. Well, of course you know, how could you forget I mean not that you're forgetful or anything, don't get me wrongbut, you know, it could have slipped your mind or something not that you'dever forget about-"

I cut her babble off with the tip of my finger. "I know."

She smiles sadly. "It'll never get easier, will it?"

"It may with time." I push some hair away from her face. "And with each other." I get up knowing that she's not going to put up with the bonding session much longer. As I reach for the door she stops me. "Hey, Buff?"

"Yes, Laurel?" I turn and try to give her a brave smile.

"I know. . how much you love her still and, as much as I miss her, I know you miss her more and it hurts you more and you cry sometimes when you thinkI'm not watching. And if you need me to, you know. . talk or whatever-"

"I know." I nod and smile at her. "It's a little easier with you here. You remind me of her and you look like her and even babble like her." We both laugh at that. "And I love you in a way that I can't even explain." I shrug at a loss for words.

She gives me a perplexed look. "So it doesn't hurt you? With me being around? Cause I know how much I look like her and I would think that it bothered you and-"

"Never, Laurel. You have the face of the one person who brought me happiness - the face of your mother - how could that ever bother me?" I smile again and reach for the door before I have a total mental breakdown. "Get dressed, I'll make breakfast. Uncle Xander will be here around nine."

"He's up before noon?"

I chuckled. "Laurel. You know how he gets. What he does is very important and-"

"I know, Buff. I'll be nice to him. Promise."

-----------

"Where am I?" This thought rattled around Willow's head as she looked at the scene before her. She knew where she was, but not really. She was sitting outside of a small café, sipping a mocha and watching the crowd shuffle by. She was in Paris.

As pleasant as the surroundings were, she wasn't able to enjoy it at all. She missed Buffy, Laurel and Xander and wished they were with her. She smiled sadly to herself knowing how much Laurel would love to be in Paris. She was a typical teenager, and Willow could picture her going from boutique to boutique putting a serious strain on her credit card.

Buffy. Willow knew she would fall in love with this place the moment she saw it. The aesthetics of the surroundings, the architecture of the old buildings, the gardens and parks. She smiled to herself again picturing herself and Buffy laying in the grass having a picnic near the Eiffel Tower. Buffy would feed her strawberries dipped in fudge and neither of them would care about the stares they got from the passer-bys. Buffy would remark thatthey were just jealous to see two people so completely in love with each other.

"Why so sad?"

"I miss my family." Willow remarked.

"I'm sorry to hear that. Have you been away from them long?"

She sighed. "I don't know."

"Seems to me that they're only as far away as you make them. At least that's what I've always thought."

"They're. . .they're in here always." Willow placed her hand over her heart. "But. . " She trailed off.

"You wish they were here, physically. I understand that all too well."

Willow had been staring off in the distance, but brought herself back and looked around her immediate surroundings. There was no one there. "Um, where are you?"

"Oh, I'm here. You just don't want to see me yet." The voice, male, took on a knowing tone.

"That's weird. Why wouldn't I want to see someone I'm talking to?"

"Well, you may not be ready, or you might need more time to adjust. One can never tell with this sort of thing. I miss my family too, and my friends. It's been such a long time since I've seen them."

"Why? I mean, can't you call them or something?"

He laughed. "They're too far away. I can't reach them." A slight sadnesstouched his voice. "They've been far away for a long time now."

Willow nodded knowingly and looked off into the distance again. Two young girls were running around, playing tag - much to the dissatisfaction of theadults trying to walk by. She smiled and remembered playing tag with Buffy and Laurel in Weatherbey park.  

"Fond memory?" He asked.

"Yes. My daughter, Laurel. She used to love to play tag in the park. AndBuffy and Xander would join in. We must have looked like a bunch of fools, playing tag with a ten year old, but we didn't care. She was so beautiful back then, beautiful and innocent."

"Ah, so you have a daughter. You must miss her."

Willow nodded. "I hate being away from her. She's sixteen now. When I think about all the trouble I got into when I was sixteen it just makes me want to lock her in the house till she's thirty." She laughed.

"Trouble maker, were you?"

"No, not really. I was a big geek at that age. I didn't have many friendsat all. Just one. . .no, two. Two very good friends that I grew up with.Then Buffy transferred to Sunnydale, that's where I'm from by the way, and she had an . . .interesting hobby. We got involved with it and, well, itwas dangerous but - it was for a good cause." Willow looked down at her hands. She fingered the gold band on her ring finger and closed her eyes. "I wouldn't trade it for anything ever."

"Sounds like you and your two friends must have loved her a lot to risk your lives with her, um, hobby."

Willow nodded. "Xander and I loved her a lot. And Jesse? Well, Jesse never got the chance to really know her. He was. . .killed by vampires. But I know he would have loved her too."

"I'm sorry you lost him. To uh, vampires?"

"Oh, um. . oops?" She looked up and smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I got so carried away with my story that I totally forgot. You probably thinkI'm some kind of nut now. Talking about vampires. Sheesh."

"No, not at all. I'm sure they exist. I mean, how else can you explain all the sudden deaths from 'mysterious blood loss'." He made quotation marksin the air with his fingers. "Besides, I've heard a lot of stories like yours. Nothing surprises me anymore. I'm existing surprise free these days. Really."

Willow smiled at him. "No matter how hard we fought or how many times we won, I think Buffy was always trying to make up for loosing Jesse those first few weeks she was in Sunnydale. She knew how much he meant to Xander andI and it hurt her that he was one of the ones she couldn't save." Willow smiled to herself a little. "Xander would probably say, 'Damn vampires. They're such sneaky and unpredictable things.' Only if he said it, it wouldbe much funnier. He was always trying to lighten the mood." She closed her eyes again. "I miss Jesse. I guess in a way, I started helping Buffy tomake sure, you know, that him dying. . .that it wasn't for nothing. It was for something. A good cause."

"I'm sure he didn't blame you or your friends. He knew things were going on that no one else could see. Everyone did, but the difference was that you and your friends paid attention to it and took care of it - and without taking any credit."

Willow squinted at him. He was. . .fuzzy. That was the best way to describe it. Like someone took a huge lens and twisted it out of focus only on him. She could see the outline of his body but. . .she rubbed her eyes and blinked a few times. This made him laugh.

"You want to see me. Don't you?" He reached his hand out and placed it onher own. "Everything you want to see, everything you want to know is right in front of you. All you have to do is open your eyes a little wider."

She stared at him intently and focused on wanting to see him, being desperate to see him.

"I know you blame yourself, even now, but you shouldn't." His voice took on a sad tone. "Things just. . .happen, Willow. Things that nobody ever has control over, and that's just the way it is." He squeezed her hand reassuringly. "You need to know that. . .you're fighting on a daily basis, putting your life on the line, killing the baddies - none of it was in vain." He took a deep breath and whispered. "I didn't die in vain."

She gasped and the tears that had been threatening to surface finally spilled over as he came into sharp focus in front of her. He stood the same time she did, and she fell into his arms sobbing openly. She clung to him, stroked his hair, kissed his cheek and finally managed to croak out between sobs, "Jesse."

-----------

"Xander." Buffy breathed.

He stood in the doorway to her home and bobbed his head in acknowledgement the way that only Xander could. "Hey, Buffy. Where's my girl?"

"Getting dressed." She smiled and stepped aside to allow him access to thehouse, then hugged him as soon as she closed the door. "It's so great to see you, especially-" She stopped herself and hugged him even tighter.

"I know." He whispered into her hair.

"Uncle Xander, is that you?" Laurel called from upstairs.

He smiled. "The one and only!" He looked down at Buffy. "God, she soundsmore and more like Willow every day."

Buffy nodded somewhat sadly and retreated to the kitchen.

Just then, the redheaded teen bounded down the stairs and jumped into her uncle's arms. "Whoa, Laurel." He tried to regain his balance. "You're getting so big. Let me take a look at you." He held her at arms length for inspection.

"I think I grew two inches from last time you saw me, Xand-man." She smiled.

He narrowed his eyes at her playfully. "Xand-man, huh? Lemme guess. . .Faith's been by recently."

"Yup!! She took me shopping in L.A. for new clothes for school and we wentto the Chinese Theatre and then to Rodeo Drive and," She looked around conspiratorially and dropped her voice to just above a whisper. "She even bought me a pair of leather pants for when we go out on patrol."

"I take it you're whispering cause Buffy doesn't know yet." He whispered back.

Laurel shrugged and headed toward the kitchen. "I'm not worried about it, Uncle Xander. Everything's five by five." She smiled at him and disappeared through the kitchen door.

Xander shook his head in disapproval, but couldn't help chuckle a bit.

---------

Buffy, Laurel and Xander finished up breakfast and were washing the dishes together. It was almost the perfect family scene, except one important person was missing. Willow.

Buffy stepped back and watched Laurel and Xander finish up. She remembereda time not long ago when the four of them would do this every time Xander came over for dinner. It would usually end in a water fight, which usually sent Willow into 'resolve-face' mode in record time. They'd get scooted out of the kitchen while she cleaned up the mess, then she would bring them all ice pops and they'd sit on the front porch watching the night go by.

It was such a simpler time back then. Buffy frowned. <Back then?> In reality, it was only six short months ago but now it felt like a lifetime. She was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of a loud motor right outside the house. She knew it could only mean one thing as she watched Laurel's eyes go wide with delight.

"Faith!" Laurel yelled from the window as she waved at the Dark Slayer. She smiled wider when Faith beckoned to her to come outside.

"Jacket." Buffy reminded her.

Laurel stopped in her tracks, ran to the living room, grabbed the beaten upold leather jacket Faith gave her and ran outside.

Buffy enjoyed the silence for a few moments and leaned back against Xander.They watched as Faith showed Laurel the ins and outs of the motorcycle, and Laurel stood there listening intently. Buffy noticed that she began to ask Faith questions, and as soon as Faith started to answer, Laurel pulled a small pad and pen out of her jacket.

"Looks like Faith is in trouble now." Xander commented.

"Yup." Buffy smiled. "After all, Laurel is the daughter of the one and only research queen. Willow taught her well." A tear trailed down Buffy's cheek.

"I know that tone, Buff. You taught her lots of things too." Xander tightened his grip on her waist a little in reassurance.

Buffy was about to comment when she heard Laurel say to Faith, "That's wicked cool! Can I try?"

"Uh oh." Buffy and Xander said in unison as they went outside to stop any of the ideas the redhead may have just come up with.

--------

Rupert Giles woke in the morning feeling all of his sixty plus years. He yawned and padded his way to the bathroom to begin his morning ritual. Showered, shaved and dressed, he grabbed his trusty walking cane from beside the bed and headed downstairs.

In the forefront of his mind, he knew what today was and knew what was to come. He'd spend the day alone in quiet refection, perhaps go through an old photo album or two, check on impending prophesies, then there would be a knock on the door. He would get up to answer it, only to have the joy of his life be impatient as always and burst through it with a resounding 'Papa' before falling into his arms and showering him with kisses. Laurel. Hisprecious 'granddaughter', with the smell of youth surrounding her and life behind those soulful green eyes would make him feel ten years younger or more any time he saw her.

The visits had grown shorter and shorter now. It wasn't that Laurel was too old for him or not interested in her Papa anymore. No. It was far worse. Buffy had grown too old for him, too old and uninterested and bitter andhateful and. . .Giles shook his head. <What's the use?> She'd never forgive him, never be his Slayer again or the daughter he never had.

---------

"What happened Willow?" Willow and Jesse were walking along a cobble stoned street reminiscing about high school and all the good times they had together growing up. Jesse tried to broach the subject of Buffy a few times, but Willow skirted the issue. He thought it was best to leave it alone but now it was time for the hard stuff. "Will?"

"Jesse, I really don't-"

"-Wanna talk about it, I know. But-" He shrugged. "you know how your tummy gets all acidy when you keep bad stuff inside. Come on, Will, I'm here for a reason. You have to know that."

She sighed. "I know. It's just. . .a touchy subject for me right now. Buffy, well, it's kinda hard to explain."

"You love her."  

Willow smiled up at him. "Apparently not that hard." She walked beside himin silence for a while. "It started in high school, kind of. I admired her, wanted to be like her. It always seemed so, I don't know, exciting anddaring. . .you know, all the Slayer stuff she did and even that aside. . .she's an amazing person - so full of life and funny and sweet and romantic and sexy and-"

"Willow-"

"Sorry, too much information I guess." She blushed.

"No, it's not that, it's just, well, why are you here? Have you asked yourself that yet? I mean, do you even know where here is?"

Willow stopped in her tracks and looked around. It was as if she was noticing for the first time that things were very different. She tried as hard as she could to remember how she got there but couldn't. Then she tried toremember the last time she saw Buffy and Laurel. She couldn't do that either. A look of panic crossed her face. "Jesse?" She looked at him quizzically. "How did you get here?" She began to back away from him almost fearfully. "You're. . .you're dead. I saw it. . .I saw Xander stake you in the. . .oh God, that was sophomore year of high school."

"Take it easy, Will."

"Take it easy? Take it easy? I'm dead. . .am I dead?. . .oh God, I'm not dead, am I? Cause I have a sixteen year old daughter that needs me and Buffy, Buffy doesn't know how to cook! And she doesn't know when Laurel's doctor's appointments are and. . .and I think there's a load of laundry in thewasher. . .the last time Buffy did laundry everything turned out pink! AndGiles still isn't fully recovered from the fall he took last year, he needs me and-"

Jesse placed his hand on her shoulder. "Willow, breathe."

"Breathe? Dead people don't breath, Jesse they. . .well, they don't do anything. . .cause they're dead!" She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm calm. . .somewhat." she opened her eyes and looked at him. "You can tell me the truth, I can handle it, really. Am I dead?"

Jesse looked at her with sympathetic eyes. "Well. . ." He hedged.

-----------

Buffy closed and locked the door behind her. It was a rough day and she felt every minute of it right down to her bones. They say loss gets easier with time. Buffy Summers would have liked to have a word or two with who ever 'they' were and find out what 'they' would say when a motherless sixteenyear old looks at you imploringly and asks one simple question. 'Why?' Those big green questioning eyes were enough to frazzle the nerves of even the Immortal Slayer. Well, not so immortal now. Now she would die just like everyone else, or, just like every other Slayer before her.  

She played with the gold band on her finger absentmindedly and smiled. It seemed like only yesterday that they exchanged the rings and vowed to love each other forever. In reality it was almost seventeen years ago, right after Willow discovered she was pregnant.  

They discussed starting a family at least a thousand times but never reallyfollowed through with the plans. It seemed like nothing would make eitherof them happy. Willow wasn't too fond of the idea of adoption because shewanted the baby to at least be a part of her or Buffy. Then when the subject of artificial insemination came up Buffy totally nixed the idea becauseshe didn't like the fact that she wouldn't know anything about the father.She also didn't like that there was a possibility of the father showing up on their doorstep. Precautions were often taken, but nothing was fail-safe. Add that in with living on the hellmouth and Willow came around to Buffy's way of thinking on the matter of 'frozen fathers'.

It all seemed so cut and dry now, but when the discussion was happening, itwas anything but. Buffy grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and opened the sliding door to the patio. The view still amazed her every time she saw it. She and Willow decided to go house hunting on a whim. They thought it was a good way to pass the time and would enjoy looking at the many different styles and structures of the houses in Sunnydale. This was thefirst and last house they looked at and two weeks later they bought it thanks to the money from Willow's computer programming hobby.

The house was set on a cliff near the outskirts of Sunnydale. It was as ifthis particular cliff was made just so a house could be nestled into it nicely among the trees and other greenery. When you stepped out onto the porch you were assaulted by the sweet smell of flowers and there was a lake and a forest about twenty feet below. The house was close enough so they wouldn't have to worry about leaving their friends or family, but it was far enough away so that if anyone wanted to see them, they'd have to drive. Well, except for Xander. He could 'beam' in and out of anywhere in the blink of an eye. The setting for the house and the house itself was perfect and private and romantic. And now Buffy Summers was occupying it alone with Willow's daughter.

Buffy sat down in her favorite lounge chair and took a deep breath of the warm night air. She could remember a night just like this. Being out here with Willow and without a care in the world.

{{"Buffy! You're incorrigible. You know that?" Willow swatted her lover's arm playfully. She was sitting in the Slayer's lap, straddling her legs and from the grip Buffy had around her waist, Willow wasn't going anywhere.

"I know, but you have to admit you've thought about it, Will. Come on." She drank down the last of her iced tea then looked up at Willow with great big puppy dog eyes.

Willow attempted to reprimand the errant Slayer, but her tone of voice cameout as amused. "Don't you turn those eyes on me, missy."  

Buffy smiled. "You *have* thought about it. I'll bet it crossed your mindthe first time we stepped out on this deck together when we came to view the house."

"Did not." Willow crossed her arms and pouted, but only for a moment. A smile began to creep across her features. "Well, maybe I did. Just once. ..or twice."

Buffy reached up behind Willow's neck and gently pulled her down for a kiss. She pulled away after a few moments, much to Willows dislike. "You vixen, you. If you had told me sooner then I could have made your wish come true."

Willow smiled. Talking wasn't first and foremost on her mind, but she actually got her brain somewhat in gear to give Buffy and answer. "I didn't think you'd want to." She said softly and somewhat embarrassed.

"Not want to make love to you under the stars? There are still so many things you have yet to learn about me Miss Rosenberg." Buffy smiled.

"But what if we get caught?"

"Don't you have some sort of protection spell in your little bag of witchy tricks? Something to make us, you know, invisible but not."

Willow's eyes went wide. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought if it before. She wiggled around on Buffy's lap and tried to get comfortable then mumbled a few choice words under her breath. She lifted her arms in the airand made a sweeping motion.

Buffy watched with keen interest as Willow cast a spell over them. She sawa thin mist begin to bear down on the entire house then just as it looked like it was going to billow over them, it disappeared.

"So mote it be." Willow whispered. She opened her eyes and leaned down close to Buffy's ear. "Now. Where were we?" She whispered. "Here?" She trailed light kisses down the Slayer's neck and up to her chin. "Or here?" She took Buffy's head in her hands and turned her face. She proceeded to kiss her cheek, her forehead, and down her other cheek. "Or maybe we left off here." Finally Willow pressed her lips to the blondes. 

Buffy felt as if her blood was set on fire. It was very rare when Willow took the upper hand, but when she did. . .look out. All other thoughts fellaway from the Slayer's mind when Willow increased the pressure of the kiss. Buffy parted her lips slightly to grant the redhead access and the rest of the night was. . .}}

<Amazing.> Buffy smiled at the memory. They'd had such great times together in this house right from the moment they moved in. That night, that wonderful, passionate, amazing night - was the night Willow got pregnant. Biologically it was impossible. But magically. . .well, if anyone knew about magic it was Willow and if there was a way for her to get pregnant with a child that was part of her and Buffy, then Willow was just the one to find that way and make it work.

"Now that's what I like to see."

Buffy jumped at the sound of the voice behind her and was instantly on the defensive. She dropped her stance when she saw who it was. "Xander! One of these days you're gonna sneak up on me and I'm gonna take your head off.I'm sure the PTB wouldn't be happy about a headless Shadowman running around."

He walked over and sat down in one of the chairs. "I wouldn't worry about that, Buff. I can regenerate."

She sat back down in the lounge chair and gave him a questioning look. "I'm almost afraid to ask how you know this."

He smiled. "Well, The first time it happened I was careless. I was helping Anya make dinner and I was chopping onions. She dropped a plate, it startled me and I chopped off my finger."

"Can I just say, eww?"

Xander chuckled. "You might want to save that 'eww' for after I tell you it was one night that you and Will came over for dinner."

"Xander!"

"Easy there, Buff. None of my, um, 'parts' were in the stew. Trust me. Idon't bleed and anything I loose regenerates in about five minutes but it takes longer if it's a bigger part." He smiled. "So I've lost a finger here and there when I'm working. No big." He shrugged. "The biggest problem is getting rid of them though. You start to run out of places to hide the pieces so I've started to bury them in limbo. Although I did get kinda freaked when I saw a Gremcheu walking around with my hand." He shuddered.

"A who?"

"Gremcheu. It's kind of like a dog but not. It's hard to explain. The pets here have *nothing* on the pets we have in limbo."

"I'll bet." She made a face. "So what brings you back here anyway?"

"I forgot my bag. I was just gonna slip in and out, but then I saw you outhere. It's nice to see you smiling again."

"I was just thinking about Willow." Her voice became a little sad. "Aboutthe night she got pregnant."

Xander nodded in understanding and smiled. "You know, I think I still havemarks from when you jumped me." He rubbed his chin.

Buffy genuinely smiled. "I am sorry about that, Xand. I just couldn't believe it. I thought it was impossible until Willow explained it to me."

"Yeah, after Faith and Giles restrained you so you wouldn't try to kill me." He laughed. "Although I can understand you thinking the worst."

"It was about four months after Willow's birthday/graduation party. We were only in the house a week and you two kept disappearing. What was I supposed to think?" Buffy glared at him playfully.

"That's my Slayer. Punch first, ask why later."

"And what made it even worse was the fact that everyone was there! Even Angel and Cordelia. I walked onto the patio and immediately had a bad flashback to that time in the library when you guys found out Angel was back. I thought you were gonna pull some crazy intervention thing on me again."

{{Buffy dropped her duffle bag near the door and yawned. The yawn wasn't so much from slaying as it was from boredom. The demons and vampires were scarce lately. Giles had checked into it several times in the past few weeks but nothing seemed out of place. There was no big evil coming up, no prophesies, no doom and gloom. Nothing. It was as if the forces of evil finally got a clue and decided to let the Slayer have a semi-normal life for once.

She walked into the kitchen then onto the patio where she knew Willow wouldbe waiting for her. The minute she opened the door she knew something waswrong. Her mom, Giles, Angel, Cordelia, Faith, Anya and Xander were all there. They were sitting in a semi-circle and Willow was in the lounge chair facing them. What made it even worse was that they all stopped talking when they noticed she arrived.

"Buffy." Willow got up to greet her and they exchanged a quick kiss. "You're back early."

Buffy thought Willow almost sounded disappointed about that. "Evil lurks. . .somewhere else I guess. Patrol was a bust." She looked around at all her friends. "Not to sound un-hostessy but, why are you all here?"

Giles cleared his throat and stood up. "Buffy, you may want to sit down for this."

"Yes, honey. Come take a seat." Joyce gestured to the empty chair next toher.

"Alright, you guys have managed to wig me in record time." Buffy turned toWillow. "What's going on, Will?"

Willow took her hand and led her to the chair. She sat down in her own chair and looked at everyone gathered for support. Finally, she turned to Buffy and took her hand in her own. "It's nothing bad." She smiled. "But itis a surprise. A good surprise! I mean I wasn't expecting it and we talked about it a lot and I should have told you what I planned on doing beforeactually doing it but I think you're gonna be happy about it, at least I hope so and-"

"Will!" Buffy pleaded. This wasn't the best time for babble mode.

"Sorry." She said sheepishly. "I, um. . .got some news today."

"And. . ." Buffy coaxed.

"And," Willow smiled and her eyes suddenly became wet with tears. "and I'm pregnant." She choked out.

Buffy audibly gasped and her eyes went wide. "You're, you're. . ."

"Pregnant." Willow knelt down in front of Buffy and cupped her face with her hands. "I'm pregnant, Buffy."

"How? What? How?"

"Three very good questions, Buffy." Giles smiled at the Slayer. "We've been waiting for you to arrive so Willow could explain it to us."

"You all knew before I did?" Buffy turned and looked at the group.

"No, Buffy, no." Willow squeezed her hand. "I called everybody so I couldtell you in front of them. Giles was the first to arrive and he kind of guessed but I didn't confirm it until just now."

Buffy nodded in understanding. Nodding was really all she was capable of right now. Nodding and crying and a little smiling too.

"I guess you're wondering how it happened." Willow finally said.

Buffy nodded.

"Well, you know how we've been talking about it. We just couldn't seem to agree on how to do it. The logical thing we both agreed on was that I would be the one to get pregnant because we didn't know what would happen if a Slayer got pregnant because it's never happened before. I was really keen on the donor thing till we researched it. I just couldn't stand it if somestrange guy showed up on our doorstep demanding to see his child."

"Frozen pops. Literally." Xander quipped. He saw the look Buffy shot himand looked sheepishly down at his hands. "Sorry, Buff."

"So as I was saying." Willow continued. "I did some research on mystical births. It's amazing how many there have been actually. There was this one in India where-"

"Will." Buffy pleaded again. "Tangents not such a good thing right now. I'm gonna explode if you don't get to the point soon." She smiled at the redhead.

Willow smiled apologetically and rushed on in the explanation. "Okay, so Ifigured why beat them if you can join them? I talked to Xander about the stuff I found and he did a little research on his own. Once we put everything we found together, it was easy. I can't believe how easy it was. Well, except it was a little awkward at first. . .especially for Xander. But we did it!"

Buffy scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "You did it?"

"Yes! Isn't that great!"

Angel noticed the look in the Slayer's eyes first. It was that look she always got just before she was about to seriously maim or even kill something. "Uh oh." He didn't get a chance to take one step before Buffy was out of her seat and on top of Xander pummeling him. "Faith!" Angel yelled and the two of them ran over to Buffy and Xander.

It took Faith and Angel a good amount of time to get her off of Xander. She was screaming enough profanities at him to even make the vampire blush. Once Angel got a hold of her arms, Faith grabbed her legs. Between the twoof them she wasn't going anywhere.

Giles attempted to defuse the situation. "Buffy, I don't think Willow explained the situation entirely." He looked over to Willow who was standing there in shock. "I hope."

Cordelia walked over to Willow and placed her hand on the redheads shoulder. "Hey, Red?"

Willow looked up at Cordelia as if she was seeing her for the first time. She blinked once or twice and tried to get her bearings. This wasn't goingexactly as she'd planned it. She rolled her eyes then turned to the restrained Slayer. "Buffy, do you honestly think I'd do "it" with Xander?" Shewalked over to where Angel and Faith were holding her and put on her best 'annoyed' face. "Never mind the fact that he's Immortal and who knows the ramifications of him fathering a child. . .it's Xander!"

"Gee thanks, Will." Xander dryly commented from his position on the floor of the deck.

"No offense, Xand." She put her hand out and helped him up. She noticed there wasn't a scratch on him and he didn't even moan in pain, but she'd have to save that discussion for another time. Right now she had a very pissed off Slayer on her hands. "Think you can behave while I explain the rest?"

Buffy sighed and nodded her head. She grinned a little at Angel and Faith when they let her go and she had a feeling she was going to be making this up to both Willow and Xander for a long time.

Willow looked over at Xander. "I think you might want to try and explain it this time. I think I left a few things out."

"Gee, Ya think?" He sat down a safe distance away from Buffy and turned tothe group. "In my line of work, you get to go some interesting places. If there was a way for me to bring a camera with me I would, cause if I tried to explain it, you guys would think I've lost my marbles. One of the places I go is a parallel world to this one. A lot of it is the same with twovery important exceptions. One; time moves much faster in that plane. A minute here would be about two hours to them and two; gender roles are reversed."

"Interesting." Giles nodded his head. "I've always had a suspicion that there were parallel universes out there."

Xander nodded. "I thought it was pretty interesting myself. This particular place is a mirror of good old Sunnydale, complete with it's own wacky hellmouth and all the goodies that come with it. Once I figured out which universe was the one I was supposed to be in, the rest was easy."

"The rest of what, Xander? I swear, it would take you six hours what any normal person could say in six minutes." Cordelia remarked.

"I'll spare you the details but basically, I took some of the essence of the active Slayer in that world and brought it back to Willow. She had to time it correctly, otherwise we never would have gotten that opportunity again. It's a whole mess with the temporal folds and the alignment of the stars and planets and. . ." He shrugged. "Like I said, I'm sparing the details."

"I still don't get it. Why couldn't you take B's Slayer essence for what ever little brew Will was gonna cook up?" Faith asked.

"Everyone has a doppelganger, an exact clone in a parallel universe. Buffy's clone, the active Slayer there, is male." Giles deducted. "By taking the essence of the male Slayer and giving it to Willow for a fertility spell, it is ensured that the child will be a part of both of them."

"Exactly." Willow nodded at Giles.

Buffy walked quickly over to Willow. "I'm so sorry, Will. I just. . .I thought the worst and. . ."

"I'm sorry too. I should have explained it better." She hugged the Slayer.

Buffy froze under Willows touch and looked at her with realization in her eyes. "Oh God, we're gonna have a baby!!"

Willow smiled. "That's pretty much what I've been trying to tell you."

"When? I mean, when did you find out. How pregnant are you? Shouldn't you be sitting down?"

Willow smiled at her concern. "I snuck out to a doctors appointment late yesterday while you were on patrol. I'm about six weeks pregnant and I'm fine, really." She touched her stomach. "We both are."

Buffy thought about the time frame for a moment then it dawned on her. "You little devil, you! Six weeks ago was the night you did the protection spell on the deck and we mrummph!" Buffy found herself silenced by Willow's hand over her mouth.

"I don't think our family needs the exact time and location of conception, do you?" Willow blushed.

"Sorry." Buffy hugged her. "You know, I thought that iced tea tasted a little funny." Willow giggled at that. Buffy pulled away to look at her, then over at Xander who was sprawled out on the lounge chair. She suddenly got a mischievous look in her eye. "I'll tell you one thing. We're never getting rid of that lounge chair. It's part of the family now."

Xander looked up and realized what Buffy was saying. He shot out of the chair with a yelp and looked around, panicked. "You mean you?. . .there?. . .where I was sitting? Oh, gross! As much as I can appreciate the mental imagery, I could have done without the props."

Anya whacked him for that comment.

Willow buried her face in Buffy's shoulder out of embarrassment. "I can't believe you did that."

Buffy squeezed her tighter and smiled. "Oh, but it was so much fun."}}

Buffy was trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard. She's missed this. Missed laughing and smiling and remembering the good times. She looked up at Xander who had a smirk on his face. "Oh, come on Xand, your reaction was classic. And so worth it might I add."

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, mock me. You'll notice I never sat on that lounge chair again." He snerked and put his chin up in the air as if he were annoyed.  

"God, what happened Xander? How did we get so far away from where we started?"

Buffy's words were sobering to him and he got out of his chair and knelt infront of her. "It's that big old wheel of life, Buff. It just keeps turnin', turnin', turnin'. . .no matter what we do we can't stop it." She fellinto his arms then, sobbing. He rubbed her back in comfort and sighed. "I wish I could change it Buff. I'd give up everything I have, if only I could go back to that day. . .and so would Giles."

Buffy stiffened at the mention of her ex-Watchers name. "Xander." She warned.

He sighed. He knew it was useless and there was no point in arguing with her. "He is sorry, Buffy."

"He's not sorry enough. I should have made him sorry when I had the chance. It's all his fault and no one is gonna make me think otherwise."

"I know. I just. . .I wish you'd reconsider. Laurel loves him so much."

Buffy stood up and began to pace. "You think I don't know, Xander? You think I don't know Faith sneaks her over there after patrol and that's where they are now? I'm not stupid."

"I didn't say you were." He held up his hands in defeat. "I just. I wishyou could see what I saw. Then maybe. . ."

"No. I already told you, you're not taking me anywhere near it again. Hearing how it happened is bad enough. . .I don't need to see it." She stoppedpacing and grabbed the railing for support. "See her get flung around like a rag doll, screaming, practically torn to shreds, calling my name. . ." She trailed off and sobs began to wrack her body. "Oh God, Xander. . .I felt her, heard her in my mind but I couldn't get there until it was too late. Why wasn't I there?"

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Because that's the way Will wanted it. You know that Buffy." He whispered. "The resolve face comes out and we all run for cover. There was no use in arguing with her, she would have done it anyway because it was for you and Laurel. Ijust wish I had found out about what she and Giles were planning sooner. Then maybe. . ."

Buffy shook her head. "No, then maybe you would have been on the receiving end of one of her tantrums." She smiled despite her present mood. "Complete with lightening and all the fireworks that go with it. I think-"

"I think you two are really pathetic."

Xander and Buffy both turned around to see Laurel standing at the entrance of the patio.

"Laurel. How long have you been there?" Buffy asked. She was surprised that Laurel was able to slip in without being noticed.

"Somewhere around you saying that Papa wasn't sorry enough for what happened to mom." She bit out angrily.

"Laurel, you weren't there. You don't know everything." Xander warned.

She ignored him and stomped over to Buffy. "No, I wasn't. But you know what I do know? I love my Papa and I miss mom. And he misses her too. You don't know how sorry he is for what happened because you haven't seen him or spoken to him since."

"Laurel, this is a lot more complicated than you think." Buffy tried to speak in soothing tones although the shakiness in her voice betrayed her. "Giles and I. . .well, who knows what will happen, but right now I can't see him. I won't."

Laurel sighed and walked the one step it took to put her arms around Buffy's waist. "I just miss my family, mamma. I miss Papa coming here and us having dinner together and mom laughing at Uncle Xander's lame jokes and Anyaand Faith trying to do the dishes without strangling each other-"

Buffy chuckled at the last comment. "I know, Laurel, I miss it too."

She pulled away from Buffy and looked up at her with sad eyes. "Can Papa come next time we go visit mom? Please? You don't even have to talk to himor anything I just, I want him there. It's important to me."

Buffy looked from Laurel to Xander. He gave her one of his 'it's not up tome' looks and put his hands in the air. She looked back down at Laurel who had shifted from sad eyes to 'resolve face' in record time. Buffy was about to protest her daughter's little trick when she realized there wasn't any use in arguing. This was Willow's daughter too after all. She just wished that Laurel had inherited something other than the 'resolve face' from her mother. If it would make her happy, then. . ."Fine. But not another word about it. Straight to bed with you."

She smiled and hugged Buffy. "Okay. Not another word. I love you mamma."She ran off to the house, took a pit stop to kiss Xander goodnight and ran inside.

Buffy looked over at Xander feeling like she just got suckered big time. The innocent look on Xander's face confirmed it.

"Don't give me the Slayer eyes, Buff. She's your daughter."  

"The mamma thing works every time. As soon as she gets her way it's back to 'Buff'." She couldn't help but smile. "I just got played by my daughter and her uncle. That'll teach me to cave into the puppy eyes."

"Yeah, well, the puppy eyes came from you, remember. And that resolve facegets us both every time."

Buffy nodded. "I think I should turn in. Tomorrow is going to be interesting to say the least."

"I'm goin. But just remember. No fighting with the G-man. He's not as young as he used to be."

Buffy scoffed. "That old coot still has some fight left in him. Trust me,Xand. Don't buy into the weak old man routine."

Xander chuckled. "If you say so." He walked over to her and kissed her onthe forehead. "Night, Buff." And with that he simply disappeared.

"I hate it when he does that." Buffy mumbled as she walked inside, lockingthe patio door behind her.

-----------

"Jesse!" Willow scolded. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were taking procrastination lessons from-"

"Okay, okay. Look, Willow, it's a bit more complicated than asking 'am I or aren't I?'. I mean, there are a lot of ways to define 'dead'."

-------

"Papa! Just spit it out already!" Laurel was sitting on the couch in Giles' apartment. She and Faith had stopped by to tell him about Buffy's change of heart and he surprised them with some news of his own.

"Come on, G-man." Faith was pacing in front of the couch.

"Faith, has it ever struck you as, um, curious that you're my age when you came to Sunnydale and you still insist on calling me, ah, G-man?"

"That's just who you are, G. And I wouldn't be me if I didn't call you that." She winked at him. "Now quit stalling and tell us what you found out about the spell Red did."

Giles smiled at Faith's sentiment and cleared his throat. "Yes, well. There are a lot of ways to define dead. It's fascinating really. Some peoplecan refer to themselves as dead meaning, inside, void of emotion. Others such as vampires are referred to as 'undead' meaning they're dead but theirbodies are still animated."

"Mom's not a vampire. Is she?" Laurel reached out for Faith's hand.

Faith sat down on the couch next to her. "Quit scaring the kid, Giles. Get to the part about Red already."

"Yes, well. The spell that Willow attempted seems to have been, um, successful to a degree."

"What kind of spell was she trying to do?" Laurel asked.

Faith looked up at Giles and gave him a look of warning, then turned to Laurel. "It's not important right now. What's important is getting everything out of Giles." She turned her attention back to him. "Which is like pulling teeth sometimes."

"Yes, well." Giles reached for his cane and got out of his chair. He walked over to the bookshelf. "This brings us to volume seven of the Garzian texts. Faith, if you remember correctly, this is the volume that Xander, uh, liberated from my collection before he took his station."

"Yeah, I remember."

"So I was looking though the translation of the spell and it seems to me that she got it right to a point. She was researching the biological and magical ramifications of being Immortal. She was attempting to find out how it was that her cells and Buffy's stopped replicating. To do this, she had to focus a lot of magickal energy into herself. This could have adversely affected the cells and begun the reversing process of immortality."

"Wait. She can die? Like anyone else?" Laurel was confused. "It can't be. The Powers That Be gave them immortality."

Giles tried to explain it to her. "Laurel. You have to understand. . ."  

"No, Papa. Did she lie? Cause you know mom and Faith were on patrol last week and this wicked fang gang came outta no where and mom got hurt real badand she was bleeding and everything but she said she was okay cause she was immortal and that nothing could kill her and. . ."

"Laurel, breathe." Faith placed her hand on Laurel's shoulder. "I'll be damned if I you didn't just channel your mother."

Laurel smiled. "Thanks." She turned to Giles. "Papa. . ."

"Yes, well. Willow, as I said, was researching the cause of the immortality in she and Buffy. She could have possibly focused entirely too much magick on the task of replicating cells again. When she was immortal, the cellsnever died, therefore non of them were able to replicate. Buffy and Willow have both been immortal for almost seventeen years now. The sudden biological change back to replicating was too much and she just. . .blew up into millions of pieces." He paused a moment so they could digest the information. "That's not to say that she's dead. It could simply mean that she's, um, in pieces and hasn't figured out a way to bring herself together again."

"But, Papa, that still doesn't explain why she was doing the spell in the first place."

"She was trying to recreate the conditions under which she and Buffy becameimmortal, Laurel."

"Giles!" Faith interrupted. She looked at her watch. "I think we'd better get back or you're mom's gonna have the whole town looking for us, kid. We'll finish this another time."

Laurel shook her head. "No. Why won't you tell me? What's the big secret, Faith? What was mom trying to do?"

Giles sat down next to her and took her hand. "Laurel, I can't and neithercan Faith. This is simply something your mother must explain to you. It's not our place. As if she weren't furious enough with me for helping Willow with the spell, I simply couldn't jeopardize her being angry at me for something else. I hope you can understand."

Laurel was about to protest, but she knew he was right. She'd been talkingto Buffy for six months about forgiving Giles. While she still refused todo it, she'd finally gotten Buffy to agree on being in the same room with him and she wasn't about to let all her hard work go to waste. "Alright, Papa. I understand." She hugged him. "I don't like it, but I understand."

-------

"So define dead, oh wise one." Willow smirked at him.

"Hey, don't get all snippy with me young lady. I'm only trying to help. You brought me here after all." Jesse feigned a pout.

"How did I bring you here? And where is here exactly? And you still haven't answered my dead question. I swear, I thought Angel was the king of cryptic." Willow shook her head.

"Tell me about your daughter, Will."

"Jesse, no changing subjects!"

"Trust me, I'm asking for a reason." He smiled.

"Well, okay." They started walking again and Willow began to smile. "Laurel. Laurel is probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. Well, besides Buffy of course. She's just. . .I don't know how to explain it. She's the best of Buffy and I wrapped up in a whole other person. She's athletic and willful the way Buffy is, she has a knack for computers and schoolwork the way I do. She's my height and she has my red hair and deep greeneyes, but her personality is almost all Buffy through and through. She babbles when she gets upset or nervous and if she's mad you'd better watch out. . ." Willow giggled. "She definitely has Buffy's temper."

"How else is she like Buffy?"

"She's fiercely overprotective with anyone she cares about. Any time Buffydisagreed with Giles over something or said something that Laurel thought was an insult, she'd jump to his defense. It took us a long time to explain to her that that's just the way Buffy's and Giles' relationship works. He tells her what to do, she disagrees, and they argue." She shrugged. "It's tough when Buffy and Laurel disagree on something though. Those two areso pig headed sometimes."

"Well, if I remember correctly, you have quite a stubborn streak yourself, Will."

She couldn't disagree. "Yeah, I do. Especially when it comes to the people I love. I'd even risk my-" She stopped in her tracks and looked at him in shock. She was beginning to remember. Everything came rushing back at once and thousands of images flashed in her mind.


{{{"Giles, it can't be! I won't let it happen. Ever!"

"Willow, I'm sorry but all signs point to it being the case. I wish there were something I could do."

"There has to be something!" Willow slammed the book closed on the desk, which caused Faith to wake up from her nap on the couch.

"What's up, Red?" Faith sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Tell him it's not possible." She pointed to Giles. "These books and prophesies and vampires and demons. I can't take it anymore, and I'll be damned if *my* daughter is going to be forced into it the way you and Buffy were."

"Giles, what's got her all worked up in a lather?" Faith got off the couchand stretched. "What's the evil of the week and when do we kill it?"

"I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Faith. There's a prophesy I've been researching for some time. It tells of the coming of the final Chosen One, the last Slayer. She is to give her life in the final battleof good versus evil."

"Cool. So when does she arrive and how do we help?"

"Faith." Willow's voice was thick with emotion.

Faith put two and two together and finally caught on. "No. No way." She shook her head and walked up to Giles. "Not the kid. There's no way in hell I'll allow that. Patrolling with us is one thing, she has a choice, but. . ."

"It doesn't seem as though any of us has a choice." Giles took his glassesoff and walked over to the phone. "I'll call the Council and find out where the current Slayer is located. If I remember correctly, we sent her to Europe to dispatch of an unruly group of fire demons who were taking pleasure in torching the local shrubbery."

"If I loose her, I don't know. . ." Willow stopped herself. Following that thought could only cause heartache.

"Hey, no talk like that, Red. We'll find a way to stop it."}}}


Willow blinked back the tears that were falling silently down her cheeks and all Jesse could do is look on and let it happen; let her remember every detail. She felt the terror and the panic of finding out her daughter was going to be the next Slayer all over again as if it were the first time. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself, but more memories began to flood her mind.


{{{"Willow, you must listen to reason."

"No, Giles. I have to do this. I found the spell and the meditation in the Garzian text Xander took. It's not that hard really. All I have to do is focus my magic inward and figure out what makes me immortal. I know my cells stopped replicating, you know, cause they don't die anymore, I just need to find the cause. No big."

"I don't think you realize the possible consequences of this. I insist on researching it more before you put your life in danger. Buffy would never forgive me if-"

"Buffy's not going to find out, Giles." Willow stated as a very matter of fact. "Ever, if I can help it. Is that understood?"

"Willow, I beg you to reconsider. The task you are undertaking is-"

"It's to save my daughter's life, Giles, and Buffy's. If there's any way Ican stop this, well, I'll use my last breath to do it if I have to."

"Willow, please tell me you haven't already attempted the meditation." From the look on her face, Giles knew she had. He was at his wits end. Therewasn't anything he could say to change her mind. The only thing left now was to work with her and make sure she didn't get hurt or worse. "Alright,fine, if you insist on doing this then at least allow me to assist you."

She thought for a moment then nodded her head in agreement.

***a few weeks later***

"Buffy, is Willow there?" Giles had made plans with Willow to do more research on the spell. They agreed to meet at his house while Buffy and Faith were on patrol and Laurel was off with some friends. That was over two hours ago.

"No, she hasn't been around all afternoon. I thought she was with you?"  

Giles rubbed his temples. "Oh, dear."

"I really hate it when you say that, Giles. It only means trouble. What'sgoing on?"

"Well, I ah, made plans with her to go over, some um, information and. . ."

"Giles! Just. . .stop stalling and tell me what's going on."

Xander appeared out of no where. "Giles. . .trouble. . .Willow. Breaker'swoods!"  

"Xander!" He had to grab onto the table because the sudden flash of light startled him.

"No time, G-man. Let's go."

Giles returned to the conversation with Buffy. "Buffy. . ."

"I heard. I'm on my way. You two *so* have some explaining to do." Buffyhung up the phone.

"Yes, alright." The watcher sighed and hung up the phone. He grabbed his keys from the table and turned to Xander.

Xander shook his head. "Nope, sorry Giles. No time to drive. We're taking my transportation system." He grabbed Giles around the waist and gave him a goofy grin. "Trust me, I don't like this any more than you do, but it's the only way to get you there in one piece. Hang on." He put his head back and they disappeared in a flash of white light.

***Breakers Woods***

Xander and Giles reappeared in a clearing. "Where is she?" Giles said, looking around.

"Over there." Xander pointed to another clearing about fifty feet away. There was a warm light breaking through the trees. "Damn. I must have overshot."  

----------

Willow Rosenberg was on a journey. A journey unlike any she'd ever been onbefore. She was deep in meditation and focusing all of her energy on the biological system that made her breathe, made her blood flow, her hair get longer and more importantly, the cells that gave her life. The cells that stopped replicating when she and Buffy were struck by the bolt of lightening in England and rendered them immortal. She was determined to find out how it worked, why and if she could do the process herself to save her daughter's life.

Willow reasoned that if Laurel could become Immortal, then she'd never be called as a Slayer. She knew enough about her immortality and the Powers That Be to know that they would never allow two Immortal Slayer's to exist. Time was running out and the research sessions with Giles only reinforced her theory. They found out that at any given time, there are only a certainnumber of immortals walking the earth and the balance was in direct correlation with the amount of evil that existed. An immortal Slayer would throwoff the balance and therefore, Laurel would be passed up and the next Slayer would be called.

Willow looked around with her mind's eye. This was almost familiar territory. The last time she attempted something like this, it was when she and Buffy had to fight the demon King Arthur. The only difference was that now she was taking a trip into her body, not her mind.  

She could see the intricate network of her veins and hear the blood pumpingthrough them. <Not close enough.> She thought. <Need to get smaller.> She focused and after a few moments she was down to the cellular level. She looked around and immediately noticed that they didn't look like anythingshe'd ever seen under a microscope.

Each cell had a yellow/gold protective film on it. It was almost as if they were sprayed with glow in the dark paint. Their movement was graceful and fluid, but she also noticed that they followed a traffic pattern. No newcells broke into the line and none of the existing cells faded away. It was just as she'd suspected, they stopped generating.

Her idea was simple. Get close enough to them to find out what the yellow/gold film was made out of. If she could do that, then there had to be a way for her to do the process on Laurel herself. She began to concentrate again and slowly moved closer and closer to the cells. The answer she was looking for was just within her reach. All she had to do was reverse the process of immortality and then be there to cause them to take on the film again.  

She'd done enough research to know that it would take a lot of concentratedmagick along with the potion she made and drank before she started meditating. There was only a small window of opportunity to do this and get it right, she just hoped that it would work. This would be her one and only chance.

Something was wrong, horribly wrong. The cells weren't going back to immortal fast enough. It was taking too much time and Willow knew that if she stayed too long she may never make it back. That just wouldn't do. She hadto make it back for Laurel, and for Buffy. She concentrated even harder and the cells began to take on the yellow/gold color again, only it was as if someone pushed the fast forward button on her internal VCR. It was goingso fast that she lost control and instead of retaining the color, the cells went beyond the yellow into a bright blinding white and suddenly there was a flash as every cell in her body exploded outward like shards of glass when a bullet goes through a windowpane. Willow's world went black.}}}

----------

"Laurel, look out!" Faith yelled.

The girl looked up just in time to see a vampire headed right for her. Sheducked and tripped him, sending him flying into the mausoleum wall. He got his balance quickly and charged her again.

"You dead guys sure don't know when to quit." She pulled a stake out of her jacket and hit him with a right hook. He was stunned momentarily and shegrabbed him by his shirt. "Someone needs to teach you that dead," She pulled the stake back and rammed it though his chest, "Means dead." He dissolved into dust.

She sauntered over to where Faith was sitting in the grass. "Two for two."She put her hand down to help her up. "I'd say I'm on a roll. Wouldn't you?"

Faith glared at her. "Don't get all cocky on me, kid. I'm a little off mygame tonight."

"A little? You're getting sloppy in your old age, *auntie* Faith."

"Go ahead little girl, gloat now. We'll see who's sore in the morning now won't we?"

Laurel smiled at her but didn't answer. The truth was, she hadn't been sore after patrol in a long time. Maybe even for the past year. She just kind of got into a groove where slaying was concerned and she didn't question it, or the other two Slayers. Since her mother's death, she'd been testingher limits and found out that not only could she keep up with Faith and Buffy, but she could excel far beyond what they were capable of. She silently figured out that she, being the daughter of two immortals and one being aSlayer, had attained Slayer powers herself.

-------------

The two of them walked into the house and Faith called out for Buffy. "Yo,B! You around?"

Buffy emerged from the kitchen with a tray full of food for the two of them. "'Yo, B?'" Buffy shook her head and set the tray on the coffee table. "One would think you've reverted back to your teen years, Faith."

She flopped down on the couch and took a giant bite of the sandwich she'd just picked up. "And who's to say I ever left 'em?"

"So how'd it go tonight?" Buffy directed her question to Laurel.

"Not bad. It was kinda slow, actually. You think something might be brewin?" She quirked her eyebrow up and took a healthy bite of the sandwich.

"No, I don't think so." Faith answered. "Just to double check, I'll stop by G's tomorrow."

"Laurel, why don't you head upstairs and get ready for bed. I'll be up in a few."  

She was about to protest, but Buffy's expression told her to just do as shewas told. "Um, okay." She bound up the stairs, leaving Faith and Buffy alone.

Buffy turned to her when she heard the shower go on. "So how'd it *really*go tonight."

Faith rolled her eyes. "We didn't stop by Giles' if that's what you mean. We patrolled for two hours before we saw any real action. Two fangs in a row and we were on our way home."  

"How much action did Laurel see?" Buffy went though this every time Laureland Faith went on patrol. They'd formed a very strong bond right from theday she was born, it was if they were sisters, and Buffy had to play mother to both of them. She waited a few moments then tried again. "Faith. . "

"Both. She got both. No problem. She was great, Buffy. And no, she didn't give me attitude. Seems like you're the only 
one she gives it to." Faith sat back and looked at Buffy. Really looked at her. "Have you even slept more than two hours at a time in the past six months, B? Keep this up and. . ."

"And what?" She rose to her feet and glared at the Dark Slayer. "I'll die? Cause you know, that sounds like a really good prospect right now, *F*."She wrapped her arms around herself and tried to keep some kind of composure. "What's the use anymore. . .I mean really? Will's gone, Xander's offdoing his job more than half the year, I'm not even speaking to Giles and I don't know if I ever will and Laurel. . .Laurel tells you more than she tells me. She confides in you and trusts you and looks to you for advice. And when Will was here, she. . .she was the one that put the band-aids on the bruises and chased the monsters out from under the bed. What good am I anymore?"

Faith rose and looked her in the eye, angrily. "You're no good to anyone, Buff, not like this. Not fallin apart at the seams and lookin' like you'regonna collapse any minute! What the hell happened to 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'? Where is she cause I'll tell ya somethin', B, she sure ain't standing here."

"You don't know! You don't understand how. . ."

"No I don't understand. No one does. Since Red. . .since Willow's been gone you're just closed up to everyone, especially your daughter. She told me. . .told me she walked in on you and Xander talking. She said she was happy that you could open up, even if you were badmouthing her grandfather and. . ."

Buffy's anger flared. "He's *not* her grandfather." She turned around. "He's not anything to anyone." She bit out.

Faith turned her around forcibly and held onto her arms. "He's all you ever had. . .all any of us ever had, B, and you know it! God, you're pathetic." She let Buffy go and shook her head. "That's not even what this is about. Is it?"

Buffy wiped hot tears away from her eyes. "Then tell me, oh wise one, whatexactly is this all about?"

"It's all about you. . .as usual. Willow's gone. She's not here to pick up your pieces anymore or hold this family together. She's gone, B, and youcan't see straight. I'll tell you something, you either get your act in gear or you're gonna loose that kid," She pointed to the stairs. "She's gonna turn on you so fast your head will spin."

"How the hell would you know?"

"I'll tell you." Faith said evenly. "Cause I was there. My father died when I was eight and my mother slowly got sucked into herself day by day andmonth by month. She couldn't sleep, she couldn't eat, she couldn't function after a while and *I* had to take care of her. She lost him and it was like. . .like she fell into this deep dark pit that not even I could pull her out of." Faith paused, trying to collect her thoughts. She didn't expect for all of this to come rushing out. . .especially now. But she was toofar gone to stop it, or to even care. "She resented me, said she hated me, hated my face 'cause it reminded her of him. Do you have any idea what that's like? To have your mother tell you to get out because she couldn't stand to look at you anymore? I was eleven years old, B, eleven." Faith wiped her own tears away and took a deep breath. "You gotta come to peace with this, Buffy. If not for yourself, then for you daughter." She stepped closer to Buffy, who still looked at her defiantly. "Say it."

"Say what?" Suddenly, it dawned on Buffy what Faith was trying to do. "No. I won't. I won't ever say it."

Faith grabbed her arms. "Say it, B. Willow's dead. She's not coming back. Say it!" Each word was punctuated by a slight shake. "Willow's dead. She's not coming back!"

Buffy broke from her grip and struck her square in the jaw with all her strength. "No!"

Faith grinned at her menacingly. "That all you got, Slayer? I know a fungus demon that punches better than *that*." She slugged her back with as much, if not more, force. "Willow's not coming back, B. Face it!"

Buffy snapped. She started wildly throwing punches at Faith's face, "No! I won't say it! I won't! She's not dead, she's not!" She tried to land aroundhouse kick but misjudged and broke the coffee table in half as her foot came back around. This only angered her more and she stepped up the pace of her attack. Every punch she threw, Faith countered it and sucker punched her, taunting her, forcing her to bring it on even more. "Willow's notgone. . .she's not. . .Willow's not gone, Willow's not gone. . .Willow's. . .oh, God." She collapsed against Faith and began to sob uncontrollably. "She's gone, Faith. . .Oh, Will. . ."

The Dark Slayer caught Buffy easily and slid them both to the ground safely, kicking the remnants of the coffee table out of the way. She held onto her tightly, stroking her blonde hair soothingly. The tears continued to stream down her own face, silently. "I know, B. I know."

When Laurel was satisfied that everything was alright down in the living room, well, everything except for the poor coffee table. . .she silently crept to her room and closed the door. The last thought she had before she drifted off to sleep was that maybe, just maybe, Buffy had a chance at healingfinally.

--------

"You alright now?" Faith whispered. They were still on the floor of the living room and she couldn't even begin to imagine how long they'd been there. Both she and Buffy had thoroughly cried their eyes out, and hadn't saida word since.

"Yeah." Buffy responded. Her voice was hoarse from crying and her eyes bloodshot. She looked up at Faith and gave her a little squeeze. "I never knew. . .about your parents." Faith merely nodded. "I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything to be sorry for. It wasn't your fault." She whispered.

"It wasn't yours either." She shifted slightly so that she was able to seeFaith's reaction. "You know that. Right?"

Faith closed her eyes and sighed. "I know. Now I know, but then," She shrugged. "Back then was a whole different story."

Buffy understood. She'd been turning everything around and around in her brain since they'd been sitting there. What Faith revealed about her parents explained a lot of her behavior and her bad ass attitude when she first got to Sunnydale. She saw the same attitude in Laurel occasionally and it frightened her. It frightened her not that Laurel could be like Faith, no, what scared her was that she was capable of hurting Laurel the way Faith's mother hurt her. That she had the power to make or break who she was, or more importantly, what kind of person she grew up to be.

Buffy reached up and touched Faith's cheek to get her attention. The Dark Slayer looked down, and a tear fell from her eye. Faith could live to be ahundred years old, her eyes still betrayed her. They had an intensity and'age' that always exceeded her years, like she'd seen too much too soon and her body was always fighting to catch up to everything her eyes had seen."You knew. Everyone knew, but only you'd go toe to toe with me."

Faith nodded almost imperceptibly. "I couldn't let you do that to yourselfor to Laurel. It's no way to live. For either one of you." She smiled. "Besides, even being immortal, Xander woulda walked away with a few bumps and bruises. This was a Slayer thing."

Buffy nodded in agreement. She looked up at Faith again after a few moments. "I love you, you know. Maybe not in the way I---"

"Don't." Faith shook her head. "Don't drag up the past."

Buffy sat up and shook her head. "I'm not. I'm thinking about the future." She leaned in and kissed her gently.

------

"Willow, are you okay?" Jesse placed his hand on her shoulder. She was shaking and tears were streaming down her face.

"I remember what happened now." She opened her eyes and looked at him sadly. "Oh God, Jesse. I remember."

"What happened?" He asked softly.

"I. . .I had too much magickal energy flowing though me. It was overkill."She sniffled. "The cells reverted back to normal and started the cycle of regenerating again. I knew I only had a short amount of time to make theprocess work. I was careless and I. . .I rushed it and lost my concentration. When you lose concentration during a spell it's. . .it can be disastrous. I panicked and lost control and I. . .I. . .Oh, Jesse." She fell into his arms and sobbed. "I still can't remember. Everything went black andthen I found myself here with you."

"And where is here, Will?"

She looked around, helplessly and whispered. "I don't know."

-------

A few days after Buffy and Faith's confrontation, Buffy and Xander stood alone under a tree. She was leaning up against him and he had his arms wrapped around her waist. She realized that she did that a lot lately; lean onhim. She smiled and knew, had it not been for him especially, she never would have made it though these past few months. "It's so peaceful here." She commented.

"Yeah, Will would have liked it." He squeezed her almost imperceptibly.

Laurel was about one hundred feet or so away from them and she was kneelingin the grass. Flanking her on both sides were Faith and Giles. She pushed some leaves away from in front of her and placed fresh flowers in a vase."What do you think, Papa?"

"They're very lovely, Laurel. Your mother's favorite I believe."

She nodded. "Yeah, fire and ice roses. Tough to find but," She shrugged."I think it's worth it." Laurel turned back to tending the grave.

"Looks good, kid." Faith nodded. She smiled at Giles and walked over to him then turned to where Buffy and Xander were standing. "Think they'll come over here?" She whispered.

Giles frowned. "Not likely but, I can't complain. At least I get to be here at all."

"I heard that." Laurel stood up and walked over to them. "I'll bet she'llcome over if *I* ask her."

They both looked at her quizzically and Faith was the first to speak. "Howdid you. . ?"

"Slayer hearing. I'll be right back." She walked off towards Xander and Buffy.

"Did she just say what I think she said?" Faith looked to him.

"Oh, dear." Giles shook his head and took his glasses off. "How did she find out? How could she possibly have any idea that," He trailed off then looked to Faith. "The other Slayer, in Europe. They, ah, they couldn't locate her. Her Watcher said she'd call when she found her. This could only mean,"

"She's dead and Laurel's the active Slayer." Faith sighed. "Damn it!"

-----------

"So. What'cha doin?" Laurel asked coyly as she approached Buffy and Xander. She had her hands behind her back and her most innocent face was firmlyin place. Neither one of them ever had a chance.

"Nothing." Buffy said suspiciously. She knew the innocent face all too well. "And what are you doing?"

"This." Laurel grabbed her hand and started to haul her over to where Faith and Giles were standing.

Before Buffy knew what was happening, she was standing five feet in front of Giles. She put her hand up and waved. "Hi." She looked over at Faith who was looking everywhere but at her. "Hey."

Faith nodded. "Hey." Then looked away.

Xander strode up behind them. "It's a really nice day ladies. . .and G-man. Too bad I can't enjoy it with ya. Duty calls as always."

"Now? You're going now? Throw me a bone here." Buffy leered at him.

He shook his head. "Sorry, Buff, you're on your own with this one." He grinned. "Tootles!" He waved then promptly disappeared.

"I hate it when he does that!" Faith and Buffy said in unison. They looked at each other then looked away. 

Laurel didn't know what was going on with them and before she had a chance to ask, Giles spoke up. "Buffy, I um, well, Faith and I have some information for you that may---"

"Nice to see you too, Giles. I'm fine, and you? Yeah, it's been a while."She looked at him, annoyed, and crossed her arms across her chest.

"B, now's not the time. It's kinda important." Faith tried to interrupt any kind of tirade the other Slayer was ready to launch into, then turned toLaurel. "You wanna go grab the basket from the car? I'm starved."

"But," She tried to protest.

"No, buts. Go." Buffy interrupted her rather harshly. Laurel pouted and glared at her mother, but did as she was told none the less. Buffy turned back to Faith and Giles. "So?"

"I have good reason to believe that the active slayer is dead." Giles began. "I'll have to confirm it through the council, of course, but, I believethe current slayer is already in place."

"So, we get her, we train, teach her the in's and out's of not being a midnight snack and ship her off to her watcher. We've done this at least eighttimes already, Giles. What's the big?"

"Buffy, the active slayer is now. . .well, is now your daughter. Laurel."

"No." Buffy paled at even the thought. There were countless nights that she and Willow stayed up discussing the prospect and they swore to each other that it would *never* happen. Ever. "Impossible. Willow researched it before she got pregnant and even continued to research it up until last year! There's no way---"

"There is, and it's done." Faith interrupted her. "She's been really on her game this past year. Hadn't you noticed? And she's not sore after patrol anymore. Giles and I were standing at least 50 feet away from her just now whispering, and she heard every word."

Laurel walked over to them and placed the basket at Buffy's feet. She wrapped her arm around Giles' waist and gave him a little side hug. "I know what you're talking about, and it's okay." She smiled at him, then looked atBuffy and Faith. "I knew, I guess on some level I've always known and never really said anything. It's no big. You can't fight destiny I guess, nomatter how hard you try."

It was all starting to come together for Buffy now. She processed everything she just heard and came up with only one answer. "You knew." She looked accusingly at Giles and then Faith. "You both knew there was a chance ofthis and you didn't tell me."

"It wasn't our place, Buffy." Giles replied. "My hands were tied. I swore I wouldn't---"

"Swore to who!?"  

Faith grabbed her arm and whirled her around to face her. "Who do you think, B?"

Buffy blinked a few times as the implications began to fall into place. "Willow. Willow knew. That's why she was doing that spell in the woods. Ithad something to do with Laurel being the Slayer. Didn't it?" She lookedaccusingly at Giles.

He bowed his head and sighed. "Yes. I'm afraid so."

"Mom knew I'd be the next Slayer? Why didn't she tell me, Papa?" Laurel looked to him.

"I'm afraid your mother was quite, um, strong headed about the whole situation. I only found out about it by chance. She was researching at my placeone day and I glanced at the book she was reading. I don't know how long she'd been researching it before that, Laurel. I only knew for about a week, then she. . ." he trailed off. The others were well aware of the rest of the story.  

"I never wanted this for you." Buffy looked at Laurel sadly. "and neitherdid Will. We thought we covered every base but still. . .this is what happened. I'm sorry, Laurel."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, mamma. I asked, well, demanded that I go on patrol with you right from when you told me about your life. I thinknow looking back on it, it's in my blood. Well, obviously. Even if I never became an 'active' Slayer, I'm still a Slayer just the same." She put her arms around Buffy and hugged her.

"When did you get so smart?" Buffy whispered.

"Hey, I'm Willow Rosenberg's daughter, it runs in the family." She smiled."Now, I distinctly remember a picnic we were supposed to have. . .aunt free of course, well, except for you, Faith. What do ya say?" She looked tothe three adults. "I'll set up. Don't be long." She grabbed the basket and began to walk away. She stopped and turned back around. "Hey, Buff?"

"Yeah."

Laurel cocked her head to the side and smiled her widest smile. "I'm your daughter too, you know. I may not treat you like a 'mom' sometimes but, that's what you are. *My* mom." She turned back around and headed towards the grave.

Buffy stood there dumbfounded.

"I'm gonna go help her." Giles said.

Buffy grabbed his arm. It shocked them both. They hadn't been within ten feet of each other in six months and now she was touching his arm. She took a moment to compose herself. "I can do the math, you know."

He smiled. "I know."

"You let me think you were helping her all along." He nodded and she continued. "I blamed you, for everything." He nodded again.

"I'll just," Faith began to back away.

"You're next." Buffy turned her head to the brunette. "Don't move a muscle." Faith complied. Buffy turned back to Giles. "Since we're in agreement on everything I just said, I only have one question. Why?"

"We've been through a lot, Buffy. I've been there in your happiest times. When you and Willow fought the council and won, when you finally got over all the petty nonsense and got together, when you vowed your love to each other and the birth of your daughter." He smiled. "You didn't need me to lean on or lend a hand then. . .you could stand on your own. But in your darkest hour, when Willow was lost to you and you looked for someone to blame, you blamed me. And I didn't stop you. I suppose it was the least I could do for you. Allow you an outlet, someone to blame for your loss. That way, you wouldn't blame yourself, or your daughter. . .and especially Willow."

Buffy felt the tears coming, but she pushed them back. She couldn't believe all the hateful and hurtful things she'd said to him and about him. He sacrificed himself and their relationship to ensure her love for Willow wouldn't be tarnished. "Giles, I-"

"No need to apologize." He squeezed her hand. "I brought it on myself andI knew what the consequences would be. Everything is fine now. I have you and Faith and Xander and," He looked over to Laurel and smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to spend some time with my granddaughter, if you don't mind."

Buffy smiled at him. "Not at all." She watched him walk off with a littlemore spring to his step, even with the cane. She turned her attention back to Faith. "We need to talk."

Faith nodded. "Yeah, but not now, B. Let's just. . .enjoy this. Okay? It's the first time we've all been together in over half a year."

Buffy sighed. "Okay, but after patrol. You, me and. . .well, you and me. Maybe Laurel can stay with Giles tonight."

Faith nodded and they both went to join the rest of their family.

------

"She's forgetting. . .moving on." Willow remarked to Jesse.

"How? I mean, how do you know?"

"I can just, I don't know, *feel* it. . .I guess? We have this connection,this link. It's always been open and we can tell what the other is feeling, thinking. . .before I tried the spell, I severed the link and didn't tell her. I magically held a link to her so she wouldn't realize, but, it's not the same. I just tried to re-open it and she's. . .she's distant. Not responding." Willow's voice was resigned, like she was almost ready to give up.

"I don't think she'd forget about you, Will. You're the love of her life."Jesse looked at her and made a decision. It was a decision that would inturn effect everything that happened from here on out. He stood in front of her. "Do you trust me?" Willow nodded and tried to say something but he stopped her. "Then I'm going to show you something." He stepped away from her. The scenery changed and instantly, she knew where she was. If shewere deaf, dumb and blind she'd know where she was. She spent most of herlife in places like this. A cemetery. "Look." He said. And pointed in the distance.

"Buffy." She whispered and slowly walked towards her. 

-------

". . .and there was Giles, covered head to toe with demon slime." Faith laughed. She was telling Laurel one of the hundreds of slaying stories whereGiles came out covered in goo. There were plenty of them.

"You sure did get hurt a lot, Papa. It's a wonder you never became a snack."  

Giles coughed. "Yes, well, I was much younger back then. And much more foolish. I think I'll leave the, um, demon slaying to the younger generation."

Something began to beep. Loudly and frequently. "What in God's name is that?" Giles looked for the source of his annoyance.

"Sorry. It's my computer." Laurel reached into her bag and pulled out a small black laptop. She flipped the lid open and chuckled then typed something in. "Sorry. It's a friend of mine. She just got back from band practice and wanted to tell me what happened."

"Don't you need a phone line and, um, electricity to run one of those blasted machines?" Giles asked.

"No, Papa. The battery is good for a week and I'm connected through satellite. God, I'd just *die* if I had to be plugged in somewhere. I don't know how mom dealt with it. That is *so* last century." She got up. "I'll be back in a few." And walked off towards a tree.

Buffy shook her head. "Willow in every way." She smiled and looked at Giles. "Did I tell you that she *accidentally* got into the pentagon's computers last week? They have a whole file on 'other worldly' activity. There's even a Slayer profile. Gee, can we guess where that bit of info came from?"

"Beefstick, I'll bet." Faith commented.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded in agreement.

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