Re: Anne-Lise's Snippets (Edition 14)

[buffythebushkangaroo@xxxxxxxxxxx]

> > *mischievous giggle*
> > Or hell, I might write it...
> That was fun.... How about some more....!?!?!
> SPik

Buffy 1/2 may get an update, but I really need to watch Ranma some 
more. :>

I was just imagining Xander as a duck...

--

"Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero lifemate: Silent Bob."
Silent Bob waved a hello.
"Hi," Willow said.
Jay looked beyond Willow at the gothic church she'd come out of, 
then refocused his attention to her breasts. "Hey, you're not some 
Jesus freak are ya? 'Cos we met one of those bitches once and they 
never pay out. There was this one time right, when we had like five 
minutes to live, and she went all frigid 'n' shit."
"No, I'm just gay." Willow shrugged.
Jay blinked. "Shit on me!" He turned to Silent Bob. "Can you 
believe this shit?" Silent Bob rolled his eyes to express his mutual 
frustration. "We meet the only unattached and totally non-demon bitch 
in the whole place and the chick doesn't even dig riding shift. Man, 
Sunnydale fucking blows."
Silent Bob agreed.
"Well, thanks for the save." Willow gave the pair a weak smile then 
turned to leave.
Jay gave Silent Bob an affronted look. "Fuck me. Every time we save 
some chick from otherworldly demons, they just go all fucking rude on 
us and leave! Man, this place sucks. Bad enough that the last chick 
we hit on turned out to be a fucking vampire, but now we get snubbed 
by the queer chicks too. I tell ya, there's no fucking decency left 
in the world."
Silent Bob glared a rebuke.
"Well, okay, apart from that religious chick. She had morality 
coming out her fucking ass." Bob gave him a high-five fist. "But 
other than her, man!"
Willow stopped and turned around. "Do you guys fancy a coffee?" she 
asked, beyond her better judgement.

*

"And he was, like, sobbing his fucking heart out going on about how 
his friend's legs were, like, lying about all over the fucking place, 
and I said 'Dude, stop blubbing like a drunk bitch who lost her 
cherry to some fat fucking dude.' And he was, like, 'Man, you're so 
right', and he took his M16 and wasted this fat, ugly pig who was 
watching us from the rooftops, and then he did this Thelma and Louise 
out the fucking door. Some bad fucking shit, I tell you." Jay shut up 
long enough to suck on a blunt. "Anyway, this fat prick," he 
indicated Silent Bob who looked suitably aggrieved, "he gets all 
upset 'cos he's lost his new drinking buddy. But I told him, having 
one of you fucks sobbing into your beer's enough, yeah, without some 
military dude feeling sympathy fucking pain."
Willow felt she had to say something. "Bad shit," she agreed.
"Yeah, bad fucking shit. Anyway, we'd better make a move."
Silent Bob put his coat back on.
"Is it true that chicks fart during anal? I heard that they let rip 
when you blast 'em in the ass, but no-one I ask seems to know."
Willow just glared.
"Hey, I was only asking."
Willow continued to glare.

*

"So what's the beef?" Xander asked as he stared at Willow's new 
friends.
"Who the fuck's this pansy asshole?" Jay enquired as he stared at 
Xander's trousers. "Jeez, he dresses like a fairy."
"Screw you!" Xander looked offended.
Willow stepped between them. "Xander! It's just the way he talks. 
He doesn't mean to offend... he's just... offensive."
Silent Bob fired up a blunt in the background.
"Pansy fucker," Jay smiled. His eyes became dinner plates as Buffy 
entered the room. "Woah." Buffy came over to Jay and caressed his 
cheek before french-kissing him deeply and pushing his face down to 
her breasts...
"Hi!" Buffy greeted, as Jay seemed to be in a world of his own. 
Silent Bob came over and hit Jay upside the back of his head, 
breaking him out of his stupor. He nodded a greeting to the Slayer.
Jay's world crumbled as Buffy shared a lingering kiss with 
Willow. "She's your... Damn! No fair!"
"So," Xander repeated. "What's the what?"
Willow was about to answer when Anya entered and said, "Hi Jay, hi 
Bob."
Silent Bob waved.
"You know these freaks?" Xander blinked. Silent Bob gave an offended 
stare, then shrugged.
"Hi Anyanka," Jay said then turned to Xander. "Watch who you call a 
freak, you neon faggot!"
Willow took this as her cue to become UN peacekeeping 
delegate. "These two saved me from becoming demon-food," she said. 
Xander immediately calmed down. These guys were suddenly 
cool. "They've been sent by the Last Scion to aid me in a holy quest."
Jay nodded. "No shit," he said. "This happens to us, like, all the 
fucking time." Bob rolled his eyes and nodded. He blew smoke into the 
air. "We'd have been here sooner, except I let this fat fuck 
navigate. I tell you, how hard is it to find California? Fuck..." Bob 
gave Jay a glowering look. "But hey, he pays his own way, so what the 
fuck." Bob shrugged.
Buffy blinked. "A holy quest?" she asked.