Rebuttal::End of the Month State of the Gutter Report - August 2001

[keeper444@xxxxxxxxx]

TO:The Director of Public Safety, All Department Heads; The United
Vegetable Empire; and all other
interested parties.
FROM: Alex P Werebadger::
The Pres. and co-Founder of: The Questionablely Sane Biker Were-Folk
Assn.
SUBJECT:  End of the Month State of the 
Gutter Report - August 2001:: A Plea for justice!

>>The Director of Public Safety wrote<<
{{Greetings all, once again we gather to refresh our memories on what
exactly
happened last month and why Interpol is just "itching" to have a few
words
with some of our more "enterprising" gutter and woods outback
members.  As
well as get our collective stories straight on just where the
were-badger
was and why he couldn't possible have been messing around with those
Catholic Girl School cheerleaders last week when in fact he was with the
dark slayer and the cheerleader racing up and down the gutter chasing
Riley-shippers on his Harley.}}

If I may, in the interest of fair play, I wish to answer these vile and
nearly untrue aspersions on my character and the character of my live-in
friends.

While it is true, I did stop along the road to assist those Catholic
Girls School cheerleaders when I realized they were having automobile
problems. 

At almost no time did I, or my companions, take any improper advantage
of those sweet delectable young women while they were entirely at or
mercy. 

My two compassionate and altruistic live-in companions were merely
making conversation with said cheerleaders, because they were lonely and
when the aforementioned voluptuous cheerleaders, were forced to seek
shelter at our humble abode, my companions and myself, almost never laid
a hand on their soft muscular thighs, or a firm ample breasts. 

While it maybe true, a tongue or two may have accidentally touched and
leisurely tasted some wonderfully luscious flesh, or possibly teased a
rock hard hyper-sensitive nipple, during the 48 hours we were all
sharing the bed. (Hey it's a small burrow and all the other bed rooms
are being used as combination playroom/gym) 

We were fatigued, and so nearly unable to delve between said thighs to
feast upon the nectar of the young cheerleaders' essence that flowed
from their cores, as we are alleged to have done repeatedly. 

Besides they all assured us that they were all over the age of consent
(in Arkansas). 

As you all can plainly see my companions and I are almost completely
innocent of all these dastardly accusations being bandied about by
Sister Mary Ivan the Terrible, and I have incontrovertible proof that
this woman could not have seen the debauchery and depravities she claims
to have witnessed, while the young women in question were in our charge.
(The shades were all drawn tight and the shutters closed and locked from
the inside) She was guarding the abandoned vehicle, bound and gaged in
the trunk at the tie if the alleged incident.
 
So I must declare that I and my female Friends have been falsely accused
of taking liberties with our guests. (Tapes and still photographic
evidence will be for sale in the lobby)

Thank you for your kind attention and please drink and drive::achem::I
mean don't...yeah that's right don't.

Will whoever owns the tie dyed hover tank with the Grateful Dead
stickers all over it and the "Nuke the Whales" bumper sticker on the
barrel of the ion cannon and decorated with several pairs of panties all
bearing the laundry mark::   
St. Sally of the Holy Brothel Girls School: you left your lights on and
it's disturbing the neighbors.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Fan Fic.
TTFN

Later
Alex
(Unofficial Village Idiot, 
Pres. and co-Founder QSBWFA,
undercover gutter-dwelling scooter-trash, 
part time trouble making were-badger,
Semi-retired Scooter Tramp,
The Middle Finger of The Hand of Chaos,
and the Yin to Shadow's Yang.)
.............................
Laissez les bon temps roulez!!!!!
............................
{Proud Member}... BtVS Writers Guild....because Fiction makes anything
possible.