Re: [Re: [Fic: Enigma (1/?)]]

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Greetings,


*LOL, um, after a confusing email from Cheryl,

Aww..I wanna see that email!

* I'll just point out this wasn't part of the fic, just me poking fun at
*Mad Hamlet.

Not only am I pokeable, but I'm squeesably soft! However, in no other way do I
resemble Charmins. Think of me as.. a soft, relaxing pillow on which you can
lay your weary head. (Redheads and blondes only please....FEMALE Redheads and
Blondes actually.)

* Sorry for any confusion.
Allow me to add to it.


"OH MY GOD!!" Willow burbled.
"What? What?" Buffy came barreling into the room having body checked
the door in way that would have made any member of the NHL swoon in envy. 

"Look!" Willow pointed with a shaking finger. 
"Oh..." Buffy gaped following the redheads line of site. "..crap."
 
She quickly moved over to the body to inspect the wound. "The liver."
Buffy said more to herself than anyone else in the room.

"What about the liver?" Willow asked.
"That's what's missing."
"You mean..?" Willow gaped. 
"Yeah." Buffy nodded. "Someone was listening to our conversation over
Tara's body."

"They could have followed us!" Willow suddenly cried out. "They could
have seen everything!"


The slayer quickly moved across the room to comfor her newest lover.
"Relax babe." She murmered moving her hands in soothing circles over the
redhead's shoulders. "I pulled the blinds. There was no way anyone could have
seen us. And even if they poked around the house, I hid all the kevlar and
latex outfits in a really sneaky places."

"Even the french maid outfit?" Willow asked.
"Yep." Buffy nodded. "Even the french maid outfit."
"It won't get wrinkled will it? I hate wrinkly maids."
"Willow..it shrinks to the size of a gum wrapper when I take it off."

"AHEM!" The redhead growled putting her hands on her hips.

"Er..I mean when you take it off." Buffy hastily amended. "With your
teeth."

"Better." Said a somewhat molified Willow. "So..what do we do
with.....her." She gestured toward the cooling corpse with a hand.

"Well." Buffy mused. "Giles hasn't seen Olivia in months so it's no big
deal if she just dissapears. I always could hide the body where I disposed of
Tara."

"Hmmm.." Willow thoughtfully tapped her teeth with a long nail. The
Slayer watched this with a barely repressed shudder. She knew what those nails
were capable of. Some of the marks were still healing.

"Oliva and Tara." Willow mumbled. "Y'know, if they were still alive and
not missing vital body parts, they would make a cute couple."

"Ya think?" Buffy asked not really paying attention. She was now
wrapping the body up in a comforter.

"Yeah. And very twentieth century." Willow added. "Though I am a bit
upset."

"What's wrong now?" Buffy hoisted the only slightly leaky package over
one shoulder. 

"Well..when she was..y'know..doing that death throes stuff, her feet
and hands drumbing against the floor in a desperate, futile attempt at
remaining alive..well..she splashed her blood everywhere. It'll take forever
to get it off the walls."

"Awwww..poor baby." Buffy leanded over and gave the wiccan a quick
peck. 

"And that's my favorite comfortor too!" Willow whinded. Then gasped.
Then moaned. Then stopped.

"More.." Willow pouted. 

"Nope." Buffy shook her head. "But I'll be back in fifteen. Think you
can still be wanting more by the time I get back?"

Willow leaped to her feet. "I just got a harem slaves outfit I've been
dying to try."

"Sounds deliscious." Buffy licked her lips. "Your sultan will be
returning forthwith. Be ready."

Willow moved closer to the Slayer, her tounge flickering over the
blondes lips. "Yes, my master." She purred.



Anya carefully eased the door open with one foot. Her arms were loaded
down with groceries. She had really gone crazy making sure this would be best
treat ever. The bags were full of exotic spices, herbs and fresh cooking
supplies. Including a brand new, teflon coated, No-Stick We Really Mean It
This Time, frying pan. 

Moving quickly to the kitchen she began putting ingridiants into a
large bowl. She didn't notice Xander sneaking up behind her. 

"HEY BABE!" He said loudly hugging her from behind, she responded by
jumping up nearly three feet with a loud shriek. "What's the what?"

"Xander.." She tried to get her heart rate under control. "Don't DO
that!"

"Or you'll what?" He smirked.

"Little Xander just got fresh batteries." The Ex-Demon growled. 

"I'll be good." Xander said quickly backing off. "So..what ya doing
honey?"

Satisifed with her fiancees reaction she turned back to unloading the
groceries. With a sense of grim satisfaction she slammed a very fresh looking,
very bloody, and very large slab of meat down on the countertop.

"I'm making dinner!" She announced proudly.



I'm DEFINETLY going to Hell.

I remain, as always,
Mad-Hamlet
 



Do not cross a storyteller.
A storyteller is, perhaps, the most powerful thing in all of creation.
At their beck and call they have the powers of What Might be, What Could Be,
What Should Be and What Will Be.
All anyone else has is What Is. 
All the pontential versus mere reality. 


-Mad-Hamlet