FIC: Thoughts and Illusions pt. 3

[montevallo64@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Sorry about all the cross posting,but i know some folks who are on 
one list and not the other.

DISCLAIMERS: nOT MINE, THEY BE jOSS'S ADN upn'S.

NOTES: [ ] thoughts, " " speaking. ( I am starting to wonder why I 
put this in nobody talks accept for once)

WARNING: Spoilers for the 6th season of Buffy!!!



Pt. 3 Tara's POV



She's in shock. 

At least that's what I have been tellng myself. Willow ia always 
bably, but I haven't heard her babble in weeks. She's lost at least 
ten pounds.

Shock. She's just in shock.

Everyone has decided that Willow and I should take care of Dawnie. 
Willow just nods her head, not really listening.
************************************


Willow walks around lost, disheartened, oblivious to anything except 
Dawn and the Buffy bot.

I don't register unless I am blocking her, forcing her to eat.

Whenever Willow sees the Buffy bot she gets super cold. Performs it's 
maintenance as quickly as possible. The complete opposite happens 
when she sees Dawn. Willow engulfs Dawn in a hug, starts crying. It 
tears me up that she would rather be comforted by Dawn than me. I 
don't say anything, 'coz Dawn needs support to.

Willow just needs time. She just lost her bestfriend.
************************************


Xander and Anya are arguing, but it doesn't matter. I check and make 
sure Willow is still in the back room. She is, just standing there 
staring at the punching bag. I go back to the house, up the stairs 
to our room. I find the book she has been reading recently hidden 
under the bed. Good the page is marked. It's a spell, but why would 
she? maybe she is goign to start casting again soon? I translate the 
title, and look dumbly at the book. No! That's wrong, Willow 
couldn't. Willow walks through the door as if summoned by my 
thoguhts, and I stare at her, seeing for the first time how my 
girlfriend looks.

Her hair. It's lost it's shine, and is all tangled. Her usual 
cheery clothing is now gone, replaced with anything dark or muted 
that she could find. And if that wasn't bad enough it just hangs oof 
of her. She lost at least twenty pounds.

I brush the tears form my eye. How could I have ket this happen?! 
During my appraisl she grabs the book from me, yekling. I don't 
bother to hide th tears, they run down nmy face, but they don't bring 
solace. She stops and says something like: 'what if she had been 
Dawn?' And for a moment I am angry, furious. I want to shout: 'then 
you would hug me for the first time since Buffy's death!' But I don't 
she needs compassion, so I try and get her to talk about her 
feelings. She cuts me off and walks away.
****************************************


I don't understand!! She took care of me, but when I try to do the 
same she walks away. There are no more late night talks, no spells 
at all. No, that not right. There is one spell, the one for Buffy.
****************************************


The blood, the tests! I should have knowbn! I can't believe she 
would lie to me about someting like magic! She used- what has shse 
become?! She's not my Willow. SHe hasn't been anything since...

Buffy.

Goddess! How stupid am I?! She loves her! O goddess I think I amd 
going to barf. I put my hadn over my mouth, trying to stop my 
thoughts. Anya looks up from her rant and asks if i am all rigth. i 
weant to shout: No! The love of my life is in love with a dead 
person! That she couldn't ever be satisfied with me.

But I shake my head, tellher I need to sit down. Concentrate. The 
hardness to the chair, the smooth wood. No thoguths other than the 
feel of the wood. the back door opens and they walk in. I run my 
fingers over thr chair trying ti keep my calm. She looks at me, she 
been crying. I pause.

The wood has a knick in it.




Okay the next part is a surprise!! Not but if you would like to guess 
I'll let you see a sneak peek if you get it right.

-Angel