Fic: Subterfuge (14-15/?)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Subterfuge
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: My site, Kiss or Kill, 
http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill Anyone that has permission, take. 
Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Buffy


SUBTERFUGE (14-15/?)


Buffy slowly opened her eyes, wondering how she had ended up on the floor. 
She didn't remember falling. She heard crying behind her and turned her head. 
Whoa, too fast, she scolded herself. She saw Willow leaning against the 
kitchen cabinet crying. "Willow?"

Willow looked up, relief in her green eyes as she crawled towards Buffy, "Are 
you OK? Do you feel OK?"

"I'm fine, just a bit groggy," Buffy said truthfully. "What happened?"

"You fainted," Willow said, her hand moving along her friend's face. "You 
feel like you have fever. We need to get you to bed."

Buffy closed her eyes as images flooded her mind at Willow's innocent 
comment. Good grief, she turning into a pervert. Taking everything Willow 
said and turning it into some debauched fantasy. But, she decided with a 
faint smile, there were far worse things to be than perverted. She felt 
Willow's hands on her, felt her flesh become more heated as the girl tried to 
soothe her, "I fainted?"

"You must be sick," Willow said, feeling a twinge of guilt. This was the 
perfect time to tell Buffy the truth. Tell her that she had poisoned because 
they had danced, because she had forgotten for one moment that some insane 
bitch thought she owned her, because she was falling in love with her. 
Instead, all that came out were lies. She was horrible, lying to the girl 
that she loved. Not telling her that Glory had made things personal. Not 
warning her that she was in danger every time they touched or spent time 
together. No, being honest would mean that Buffy would push her away. That 
she would lose the most important thing in her life. She couldn't do that, 
couldn't risk that. She dropped her hand when she realized that she was 
touching Buffy. Glory could be watching. She might be insuring Buffy's death 
from the innocent gesture. She was at a loss. What could she do?

"I don't feel sick," Buffy frowned when Willow moved her hand, aching for the 
touch.

"It could have been something you ate," Willow suggested with a soft sigh. "I 
was so scared, when you fell. I thought you were dead."

"I wouldn't leave you, Wills," Buffy said, giving her a smile.

"It hurt, Buffy," Willow confessed softly, catching her friend's eyes. "I 
felt as if I were dying, too."

"Willow," Buffy started to tell her that she loved her, but she knew it would 
be misunderstood, taken to mean friendship.

"We need to get you to bed," Willow said again, getting to her feet before 
she said something she couldn't take back. "You need to rest."

"So, you're my doctor now?" Buffy said, her lips twitching as she slowly got 
to her feet, standing still until the room stopped spinning.

"Yep. Someone has to take care of you, after all," Willow said, her voice 
making it sound like a chore.

"I'm glad that someone is you," Buffy said softly, looking at Willow with a 
tender statement.

"Me too," Willow gave her a small smile as she helped the slayer upstairs.

********************

The sky was a mixture of orange and red as the sun began to rise. A cool 
chill hung in the early morning air as Willow made her way through the empty 
streets. She had left Buffy sleeping, the slayer more affected by the poison 
that she had originally thought. She just prayed that Glory hadn't been 
lying, that Buffy would be OK. She actually did believe the demon, though, 
knowing that this had just been another one of Glory's games. Something to 
prove to Willow that she was powerless to protect the people she loved. She 
had spent all night thinking, watching Buffy sleep, wondering how she had 
allowed herself to get into such a mess, wondering how she was going to get 
out of it. She had finally made a decision, a small one, but a decision 
nonetheless.

She had gotten up early, waking Dawn for school and explaining to the girl 
that Buffy had gotten sick the previous night. Once she was sure that Dawn 
was ready for school, she had left the house, making sure that Buffy was 
still asleep. Now, with every step, she was getting more nervous. What if 
this wasn't the right decision? Would she be able to go through with it? Did 
she really have any other choice? Willow was scared. She hated feeling fear, 
didn't like the helplessness she was feeling. She felt as if she should be 
doing something, anything. Not just sitting by and waiting for Glory to make 
a move. There wasn't a lot of hope, though.

She had originally gone after Glory for any details to help Buffy fight the 
woman. They had nothing on how to destroy the demigod, had no way to protect 
Dawn from her. Not only had Willow not learned anything helpful, she had 
drawn Glory's attention to herself. She had made it worse. Why did she always 
make it worse when she tried to help? Was it a curse of some sort? She should 
have learned by now not to ever try to help. But, no, she always managed to 
mess it all up. The only positive that she could see was that Glory seemed to 
have become so obsessed with her that she had forgotten the key for the time 
being. Was it a positive thing for a seemingly indestructible demigod to be 
obsessed with her? She sighed, knowing that she would rather have Glory after 
her than after Dawn.

There had to be some way to destroy Glory. She knew there had to be. They 
just hadn't found it. She was going to start researching more vigorously, 
knowing that the time was growing to a close. Glory had poisoned Buffy, had 
said that it was almost time. Time for what? Willow wish she knew, though she 
had a terrible sinking feeling that she did know. She wasn't going to think 
about it, though. Dwelling on it would not protect Buffy, it wouldn't give 
her the strength she needed so desperately. She had to find answers. 
Something to give her hope before she simply gave up. No, there would be no 
giving up. She had brought Buffy into this mess. It was her fault that Glory 
was personally attacking the slayer, going after her in her house. Before, 
Glory had just struck when Buffy had been in the way of the key. Now, the 
demigod was hunting the slayer, playing with Buffy to get to her, trying to 
weaken her resolve.

Willow knew she would do anything to protect Buffy, having realized last 
night just how deep her feelings for her best friend ran. She was in love 
with the slayer. Had been since they had first met, when Buffy had first 
smiled at her, holding out her hand and introducing herself. Willow could 
still remember that first touch, the electricity she had felt, as if their 
meeting had been destined. She had always known that they were meant to be 
together, their connection to each other instant. She had just assumed that 
it was in friendship. Lately, though, she had begun to have doubts, knowing 
that she was falling in love with the slayer. She knew there was a very slim 
chance that Buffy would ever feel the same way, knowing there had never been 
any sign that the blonde was interested in girls. But, reciprocation didn't 
really matter. Willow's destiny it would appear was to love Buffy, and she 
would do *anything* to keep the woman she loved alive.

Finally, she reached her destination. She pushed away her doubts and fears as 
she walked up the stairs. She could do this. For Buffy, she would be able to 
be honest. No matter how guilty she felt, no matter how disgusting it made 
her, she would be truthful. She could not tell Buffy the truth, not yet. Not 
until she knew that she could protect Buffy from Glory. She also knew that 
she might lose her friend, that thought scaring her far more than anything 
Glory could threaten her with. With a resolve in her eyes, she raised her 
hand to knock, hoping that Giles would be awake. She needed help.