SongFic: Complicated

[Femvamp <femvamp000@xxxxxxxxx>]

TITLE: Complicated
AUTHOR: Femvamp
DISCLAIMER: Buffy TVS doesn?t belong to me. It
belongs to Joss, Mutant Enemy and UPN. The song
Complicated is sung my Carloyn Dawn Johnson

COMPLICATED


Willow entered her and Buffy?s dorm room after her
last class of the day in a fowl mood. It was getting
harder and harder to hide her feelings from Buffy. It
was getting so hard that it was beginning to affect
her mood. She threw her bag on her bed and turned on
the radio. After a few commericals a song played.

I?m so scared that the way that I feel
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room 
I wanna find a hiding place.

Country? Willow never listened to country and neither
did Buffy. However this song fit Willow?s mood so she
layed down on her bed and listend.

We used to laugh, we used to hug
The way that old friends do
But now a smile and a touch of your hand
Just makes me come unglued.

Willow missed having Buffy around, but every time she
got close, Willow began to lose control of her sanity.
All she wanted was to hold Buffy.

Its such a contradiction,
Do I lie or tell the truth
Is it fact or fiction
The way I feel for you

It was getting to the point where Willow could no
longer tell if the feeling she was having were real.
If the feelings she had were those of your best friend
or?..something more. 

It?s so complicated
I?m so frustrated
I wanna hold you close
I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay

Every time Buffy hugged her Willow was filled with
such confusion. She no longer knew what she wanted. 
She just knew she was well past the point of falling
in love with Buffy.

Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
I want you to know
But then again I don?t
Its so complicated.

Her relationship with Buffy had always been
complicated. Shrowed in secretcy. Shrowed in
darness. But every time they were together, Willow
felt safe. She felt loved.

Just when I think I?m under control
I think I finally got a grip
Another friend tells me that
My name is always on your lips
They say I?m more then just a friend
They say I must be blind
Well I admit I?ve seen you watch me
>From the corner of your eye.

Willow had once told Spike how she felt about Buffy. 
He had actually kept her secret. She didn?t know why.
He even told her that Buffy felt the same way. 
Willow didn?t believe him though. He was after all
Spike.

Oh its so confusing
I wish you?d just confess
But think of what I?d be losing
If your answer wasn?t yes.

Willow couldn?t stand to lose Buffy as her friend. It
meant everything to her. There was no way she could
risk it. Even for?.. There was just no way she could
tell Buffy the truth because if Buffy didn?t feel the
same?..

It?s so complicated
I?m so frustrated
I wanna hold you close
I wanna push you away
I wanna make you go
I wanna make you stay

Willow sat up on her bed and tried to calm her mind. 
This song was just making things worse. It was
echoing her own feelings. Something she didn?t want
to think about.

Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
I want you to know
But then again I don?t
It?s so complicated.

Willow walked to the radio but couldn?t bring herself
to shut it off.

I hate it ?cause I?ve waited
So long for someone like you
What do I do?

Willow had no idea what to do. So she listened to the
song and asked the question right along with it.

Should I say it
Should I tell you how I feel
I want you to know
But then again I don?t
It?s so complicated.

When the song ended Willow turned off the radio and
layed back down in bed and stared at the wall. It was
the only thing she could think of.

"Hey Willow"

Willow didn?t here Buffy enter their dorm room. She
quickly sat up and wipped the tears from her eyes.

"What wrong?" Buffy asked worried.

Willow tried to think of something to tell Buffy. 
Something, anything that would keep the truth from
her. But their was nothing. Finally Willow said the
only thing that came to her mind.

"It?s complicated."




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