FIC: One Stupid Stat (B/F, discussed W/T & Implied B/W)

["Callistosdarkside" <callistosdarkside@xxxxxxxx>]

Here's the really short beginning of a B/F fic I wrote before any of my
other Buffy fics. It's essentially all dialogue.

I finally decided to put it up, but I'm not sure if I should continue it.

It's also here in html:
http://www.geocities.com/callistosdarkside/OneStupidStat.html

-CDS

. Title: One Stupid Stat
. Author: Callisto's Dark Side
. Email: callistosdarkside@xxxxxxxx
. Feedback: I love it, and it's what keeps me writing.
. Distribution:
http://www.geocities.com/callistosdarkside/OneStupidStat.html (My Site). If
you'd like to put it on your site too, just email me.
. Spoilers: If you know about W/T, then that's basically it. Oh yeah,
Alternate Universe.
. Rating: R
. Pairing: B/F, discussed W/T & Implied B/W
. Disclaimer: All characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are copyright
Joss Whedon and 20th Century Fox.
. Summary: Faith teases Buffy as the blonde Slayer attempts to study.


Setting: Buffy's room. Mom's away for the weekend. Faith lying on Buffy's
bed reading a Cosmo.

"Man, I'm soooooo bored, B. Why don't u just let me go rent a porno so we
can have some real fun."

"Cuz, I'm trying to kinda study for my bio test."

"Hey, all you need to know for bio is penis goes in pussy, and baby comes
out 9 months later."

"Wow, maybe you can take my test then, Faith?"

"Was that your stab at sarcasm B."

"No, that was my stab at shut the hell up and let me study."

"Ok, fine. But first u gotta fix my problem."

"And what's that?"

"Duh, my boredom"

"Maybe you can find Willow and play with her?"

"Not likely. One, she hates me and for good reason, cuz I feel the same way
'bout her. And two, she's probably out playing with Blondie."

"Who?"

"Do I have to explain everything. Ok, you know Tara."

"Yeah."

"You see, sometimes when two girls get really close, like Red and Blondie,
they do more than just 'spells'."

"Ok, the question was 'who?' Not what sick and perverted fantasies you can
cook up to shock me."

"For once, the chosen one is blinded by her goodie tooshoes upbringing. Or
just the fact that she's a dumbass, and can't see what's so damn obvious to
everyone else."

"Ok, one, not liking the insults to my good morals and superior
intelligence, and two, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Sorry to break it to you B, but your best friend's a lesbian. As if you
didn't already know that Ms. Denial."

"Hello. There's nothing to deny since it doesn't exist. Willow's as
straight as they come, she couldn't possibly be into girls."

"Doesn't your bio book say something like 50% of women are lesbians."

"What? It says 5%. How the heck did you turn that into 50?"

"Sorry. My mistake, but it's good to know you have the facts straight."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Well, I just find it interesting that you know so much about lesbianism."

"I knew one stupid stat. How does that make me an expert on lesbianism?"

"I dunno, but you seemed real adamant about the fact that only 5% of women
are lesbians."

"Okay, I'm not having this conversation. I don't even know why I started in
the first place."

"Fine, but that still doesn't cure my boredom."

"Then go climb on a rock or something."

"I can think of something else I'd rather climb on."

"Yeah, well that's not gonna happen. Xander's learned from before; he won't
let you use him again. Besides, Anya would kill you."

"Xander?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"It's just funny that you assumed I was talking about him."

"Why? Are you saying you weren't?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"Okay, I don't even wanna know who or what you were thinking of. I just
wanna study."

"Yeah, lesbians apparently."

"Jeez I knew one little fact and you jump all over me. Hey, I know, the
French Revolution happened in 1789, that must mean I'm obsessed with French
people."

"Or that you're just obsessed with the *Storming* of the Bastille."

"Well, then. That must mean I'm straight."

"Not really. Girls don't need a you know, to you know?"

"Okay, this is the last time I'm saying this. We are not having this
conversation."

"Gee B, I didn't know you were so sensitive on this subject."

"I am not sensitive on this subject."

"Could've fooled me."

"I just wanted to study, and since you obviously aren't going to let me do
that, I've decided to go over to Will's and study there."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"And what exactly are you implying?"

"Well, just that you seem to *study* with her a lot, is all."

"Why do you turn everything around into some sick demented fantasy of
yours."

"Hey, I'm just stating the obvious. Can't help if you're in denial."

"Whatever, I'm leaving."

"Come on, I was only kidding. I promise not to bug you anymore."

"You promise?"

"Would I lie?"

"Yes."

"Okay, but this time I'm not."


To be continued?