Re: ::BuffyLovesWillow:: Last volley?---Regarding the whole discussion...

["BP" <podujeva@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

<in re: what Rod said about agreeing to disagree and the discussion
that sparked his message>

Just for the record, I'd like to mention that I've been reading
approximately the first paragraph or so of each message in this
discussion, then deleting the rest unread. (Hence, my impressions may
not be representative of the conversation as a whole -- disclaimer.)

I'm a lurker by nature and not usually inclined to jump into
discussions, especially when they become a bit acrimonious, but wanted
to make an exception in this case. Not because I agree (or disagree)
with either sc rose or Dan, because I simply stop reading when people
get strident about defending any position/opinion without being
willing to either entertain the possibility that the other may have a
point or being adult enough to respect the right of the other to hold
an opposing opinion.

This said, I wanted to point out that it is so-called Mexican
standoffs like this arguement became, with people firing rounds both
directions and shooting everyone on the list in the foot, that cause
me to start deleting all discussion on a list and sticking to the
fics.

I'm a lurker and this may seem unimportant ... how is the list damaged
by my failing to read commentary? It isn't, but how many regular and
semi-regular posters have the urge to do the same? How many decide not
to post because they don't like what they're seeing between other
listmembers? *That* damages the list.

K, so what affect does that have on me, the lowly lurker? The guilt of
deleting everything but the fic usually causes me to unsub ... bad
enough to lurk, but to lurk and only be there for the fic? Yipes! I
can justify (to myself) my habit of lurking by my odd schedule and
busy calendar ... not fair to try to be active on a list when you may
only have 2 days in 3 weeks where life cooperates enough to correspond
... but I can't justify being on a fic + discussion list and deleting
all but the fic. Weird reasoning, but then, I never claimed to be
normal.

I had a point here, what was it? Oh yeah ... pointless arguing
(meaning going nowhere but the back and forth continues indefinitely)
is annoying, even to lurkers. It causes people to find other lists on
which to spend their precious leisure time. Lists that don't have
their useful and interesting commentary/fic drowned out by bickering.
Lists where the feeling of "ah, that was a great point/fic/idea" is
more common that "oh good grief, more of this crud???".

Do you care if I abandon this list for another? Probably not. Do you
care if "Ben Postinalottagoodstuff" does? You sure as heck should!

BP, the lurker with no right to speak but the urge to do so anyway