FF: End Game

["Sam, Vampire Koala" <shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

End Game

By Sam


Email: shadowmage_draco@xxxxxxx 
Disclaimer: Faith, Buffy, and the rest belong to Joss, I have nothing 
but a tormented Muse.
Archive: If your archiving any of my stuff sure go for it, if not, 
shoot me a email and archive it.
Pairing: B/F
Thanx: To Coy for being a most cool, beta, advisor, editor, and 
friend.
Notes: Got this idea from something Piper said about it always being 
Faith in anguish so I figured I would turn the tables but be warned 
this is not a happy fic as it involves character death and is laced 
with Anguish.
Feedback: I'm addicted to it so please give me a fix :-)

yeah this is how it ends 
after all this time 
everything just fades away 
worn-out and empty and all alone 
with nothing left to say 
oh it's all too big to make a difference 
it's all too wrong to make it right 
yeah everything is too unfair 
everything too much to bear 
--The 
Cure; 'End'


The cold rain beat against Buffy's already drenched cloths, but it 
didn't matter, nothing really mattered anymore. Tears filled her 
eyes as she caressed the top of the cold granite tombstone.

"God I miss you, I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore. I 
dropped out of college, I know if you were here you'd yell at me for 
doing that, something like `B you got to stay in college', but I 
can't do it. I mean what's the point of going to classes, what's the 
point of doing anything if your not here with me."

Buffy's legs buckled and the blonde fell to her knees sobbing, "Why'd 
it have to happen, why'd we have to go on patrol that night, God if 
only we would have stayed home I'd still have you. It's not fair, we 
were slayers, we're not supposed to get killed by some fucking drunk 
on our way home. God why'd we have to go on patrol that night."

Buffy collapsed up against Faith's tombstone, weeping openly as the 
memories of that night haunted her, she saw the two of them walking 
hand in hand back towards their apartment, she heard the screeching 
of tires, saw Faith pushing her out of the way, "God it should have 
been me, why'd you push me out of the way, It should have been me, 
God why'd you have to do it."

Buffy pulled her self off the ground; a fresh stream of tears ran 
down her cheek. She ran her hand across the top of the tombstone, "I 
love you so much, everyday here is a dagger through my heart. God I 
miss you, I can't go on like this sweetheart, it hurts too much. I 
wake every morning and your not there and every night I cry myself to 
sleep because I know I can't hold you in my arms any more. 
Everyone's telling me it's gonna be okay, that it'll get better, but 
they're wrong. It's not Okay! It's not going to get better! You're 
gone, Oh my God y-y-you're Gone."

Buffy started to hyperventilate as she cried out in anguish, "I feel 
so empty, so alone. I'm surrounded by family and friends but I'm 
alone, I'm alone because your not here. God I miss you so much."

Buffy leaned over and kissed the top of Faith's tombstone, "I can't 
do it, not without you, I can't go on like this, I just can't.
**********************************************************************
*

Buffy walked into the apartment that she had she and Faith had 
shared, everything in it was a reminder of just how much she had 
lost. She didn't bother to remove her mud caked shoes, it didn't 
matter if the carpet got soiled.

She walked into the bathroom and through tear stained eyes looked 
back at herself in the mirror, "God please have mercy on me, I can't 
go on without her."

She reached down and picked up the razor in her trembling hands 
hoping that soon she would be with Faith again.

The End.