Re: The Big Bad 2

[danspector@xxxxxxxxx]

Tray,

Ooooooh! Evil, EVIL slutbomb!! What a manipulative bitca! Suddenly I
feel very happy for Cordy, to get away from that.

Of course, I'll be very upset if Buffy doesn't see through Faith right
away. I know it's classic soap-opera for people to be blind and
maneuvered into relationships based on lies, but Buffy has demonstrated
repeatedly ("Enemies", "Primeval", "Checkpoint", just off the top of my
head) a well-developed ability to recognize when someone's trying to
play her. A bit of tactical self-preservation, if you will.

Besides, ask a hundred people who they think is more likely to tell the
truth, Willow or Faith, and you'll get a hundred "Willow" responses.
Buffy, even when angry, is not stupid. And that line of Faith's about
how she'd never cheat without first talking to Cordelia? Yeah,
suuuurrrrrre. (And since Buffy should know THAT's bs, she should be
able to tell the rest is, too.)

Mind you, I actually blame Buffy more for still carrying the torch and
coming around to talk about her feelings, than I do Willow for not being
able to resist a naked Faith jumping all over her. Which doesn't mean
the fact that Willow actually slept with her can't mess things up real
good?

Major criticism: Buffy showing up at just the right moment for Faith's
plan (Willow naked, Faith not) was an awfully convenient coincidence,
no?

Minor criticisms: Cordelia's reason for leaving was explained twice and
both times didn't seem to make sense. Maybe you meant that she really
was just fleeing after Faith broke up with her, but then you should have
had Cordy say the lame cover story about how Angel needed her more than
by telephone, rather than putting it in the supposedly-omniscient
narrative voice.

Also, Willow hasn't worn jumpers for a while. Which I personally think
is a pity, but?

Technical criticisms: This font is too damn small. Hurts my eyes to
read.

Using the spell-checker is not enough. It doesn't know you meant
"Summary" when you typed "summery", "your" when you meant "you're",
"loose" when you meant "lose" and so on. Please recheck before sending
it out. Also, there are a few punctuation problems, and one case when
Faith asks "Willow is" when she should say "Willow, are".

But I am enjoying the fic far more than anything I've criticized has
upset me. If you can keep surprising me like this, I will greatly enjoy
it.

More, please,

Dan