Buffy the Slayer Vampire 9

[Ralf Quimby <ralf.quimby@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Sorry this took so long.

TITLE: BtSV:Moonlight Picnic

AUTHOR: Ralf Quimby

ARCHIVE:Be my guest. Just let me know.

DISCLAIMER:Joss invented the people and places. I am just borrowing them.

Moonlight Picnic

"A picnic?" Buffy asks, a little surprised. They are on patrol in the North
Cemetery. 
"It's the middle of the night."

"Yup, a picnic." responds her partner, spreading a cloth on a large flat
headstone. 
"We can't do it in the day. So under a full moon is just as good. As well as
being 
romantic."

"Well it is a quiet night." says the Slayer Vampire. "What's in the basket?"

"Chicken, potato salad and lemon-aide." Willow grins. "I know it's all junk
food to 
you, but you still enjoy it. Besides I think you will like dessert."

They sit and eat. Buffy eats a little while Willow eats a lot. 

"I heard from Dad." comments Buffy. "He is seeing someone."

"Oh, any one we know?" she inquires. "Not Faith I hope."

"A policewoman named Kate." she is told.

Willow takes a container out of the basket, opens and turns it upsidedown on
a plate. 
She hands the plate with its wriggling red mass to her wife.

"Ooo... Jello!" Buffy was enthralled with it. "I like to watch it wiggle."
She finally eats 
a bite and her eyebrows go up. "This isn't cherry." she grins taking another
bite.

"Nope." say the witch grinning back. "You have no idea how hard it is to get
gelatin 
to jell without the blood going bad."

"Well, it is excellent!" says the slayer vampire, finishing off her Jello.
"Now for the 
main course."

"Why whatever do you mean?" asks Willow, with an innocent look.

They get interrupted when Buffy's vamp-radar goes off.

She looks over and sighs, "Hello Harmony."

"Hello, c-could I have a bite ,please?" she pleads, pointing at Willow. "I
haven't had 
a square meal since Spike left."

"Keep your fangs off my wife!" growls Buffy, her face changing.

"Wha-. I know! You can be my minion, and I will show you how to survive as a

vampire." exclaims the very blonde vampire. "Then we can take over
Sunnydale."

Buffy and Willow look at each other and burst into hysterical laughter.
While they are 
giggling Harmony sneaks up and bites Willow on the neck. She gets two good 
swallows before she tastes what she is drinking. She quickly runs behind a
large 
stone holding her mouth.

The couple smirk at each other as they hear retching from behind the
head-stone.

"Eww! Harmony spit." Willow grimaces wiping her neck.

"Let me help." says Buffy, wiping her with a damp napkin. "All better."

They start to kiss when Harmony stands up.

"What is wrong with her?" she demands. "That was the worst--" When she sees 
Buffy start to bite Willow she doubles over and heaves again.

"C'mon, Harm." sighs the Slayer Vampire. She looks at her wife. "I will
probably 
regret this."

They take her to Willy's and set her up with a bottle of blood.

"What is this?" she asks after the first sip. "It tastes almost as bad as
her."

"You asked for human." says the new bartender. "You got human."

They look at him. He has huge ears that take up the whole side of his large
lumpy 
head. His nose is flat and ridged. His teeth are uneven and sharp. But he
still 
recognisable as--

"Principal Snyder?" all three chorus.

"Summers, Rosenburg. Still up to no good I see." comes the response.

"What happened?" asked Willow. "We thought the mayor ate you."

"He did. I felt myself changing before I blacked out." he explains. "Then he
spit me 
out. Then the school blew up. Why am I explaining to you anyway? You
probably did 
it."

"Uhh, well." Buffy blushes.

"She sure did." answers Harmony. "I think she also chased Spike off, mean
old 
slayer."

"Aren't you hungry, Harmony?" askes Willow. "Here is my tasty, unprotected
neck 
just brimming with red juicy-"

"Stop!" yells Harmony, turning green. "Do you have any blood that isn't
human?" 
she asks Snyder.

"Why yes we do." responds Snyder. "Some lovely rabbit blood. A real gourmet
treat, 
so I am told."

Harmony smiles at the inhuman visage looking at her. "Thank you."

"You know we could use a waitress as attractive as you." leers Snyder. "Do
want the 
job?"

"How can you offer a job to her?" asks Willow. "Won't Willy object?"

"I bought this place from him." responds Snyder. "And now, my sweet, do you
want 
that job?"

Leaving they see the new name "Color, Charm and Spin" painted on the window.

As Buffy and Willow walk home Buffy says. "I don't know whether we did a
good 
thing or a bad thing, getting those two together."

"Imagine getting spit out by a giant snake demon." giggles Willow. "He must
taste 
really nasty."

"Forget about them." says Buffy, a gleam in her eye. "I want more Jello. You
will do 
in a pinch."

"In a pinch!" screeches her wife. "I'll show you a pinch." She pinches
Buffy's left 
nipple and runs away laughing, pursued by her grinning partner.