OT: Tonight's Buffy (Caution: Major Spoilage)

["buffythebushkangaroo" <buffythebushkangaroo@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

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Okay. I was just going through tonight's Buffy script when I noticed 
something that interested me. D'Hoffryn.

Awhile back I speculated that Tara would be the season's big bad, 
that she would take the offer that Willow turned down in 'Something 
Blue'. Maybe as a means to compete with Willow in the magical power 
stakes.

I got laughed at.

Now we see D'Hoffryn will be making at least one scheduled 
appearance... But it makes me wonder. Why bring the actor back if he 
won't be used?

Here's the synopsis of tonight's episode, if you don't mind major 
spoilage:


Previously ("on Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is not said): Buffy and 
Spike having "fun," Buffy showing disgust at her actions, Dawn asks 
Willow if that is the way to the movies, Willow and Dawn at Racks, 
Car Crash, Willow's confession to Buffy that she needs help, 
Supergeeks stealing diamond. A large pile of magic items sits on a 
table. We see a crystal ball, herbs, and tarot cards sitting in a 
pile before they are swept aside into a trunk. Buffy and Dawn (with 
her arm in a sling) are making the house "magic-item free" to help 
Willow's "temptations" to use magic. Dawn protests when Buffy starts 
packing candles away "well, yeah, to you and me they're just candles, 
but to witches they're like... bongs." Willow looks on, sitting on 
the bed, looking very exausted. She brings up two crystals that sit 
in a peacock shaped container "They were Tara's..." Buffy finds them 
and tells Willow she'll return them. In the living room Buffy 
carries a box of Magic items into the living room with Dawn and asks 
her to grab a nearby fertility god idol on a nearby shelf. Dawn 
complains again, not wanting to get rid of so many things she likes, 
but Buffy re-enforces the fact that this is to help Willow in her 
magic recovery, saying that they have to get rid of anything that 
reminds her and tempts her. Buffy says this just as she sits on the 
couch and searches the cushions. She comes across a lighter... and 
has flashbacks to her "evening" with Spike! "And that would be 
bad..." she says, half to herself. A large diamond, the one 
recently stolen from the museum, is taken from a case. Warren places 
the diamond in some sort of holder and secures it down, 
announcing "It's finally done!" Andrew and Johnathon complain that 
it looks clunky and uncool. Warren gets pissed and says he'll show 
them how cool it is. He grabs the "gun" and swings it around 
(scaring Andrew and Johnathon), and then aims it at their swivel 
recliner. ZAP! A ghostbusters-type of beam shoots out, strikes the 
chair, and poof! Chair is gone. Andrew goes to investigate, 
followed by Johnathon. The three are amazed as Johnathon sits in the 
now invisible chair! (good special effects here). Johnathon calls 
it a successful test, but Warren says "oh, that's only half the 
test!" as he makes some adjustments to the invisibility gun and fires 
again at the chair with Johnathon in it! ZAP! The chair is back to 
normal, and Johnathon is freaked "You PENIS!" Warren gloats that 
with their brains they've made an invisibility ray, and that makes 
them pretty much unstoppable. Opening credits: No changes. Buffy 
calls Dawn down to get ready to go to school as Willow makes 
breakfast the old fashioned way, with her hands. Buffy asks how 
she's doing. Willow looks very tired and drained, saying that she's 
not ready to return to school yet. She'll spend the day surfing the 
net for info on the stolen diamond. Dawn walks in and is very cold 
to both Willow and Buffy. They offer her breakfast, she refuses.  
Dawn drinks some juice and barges out. Willow says she understands 
why Dawn's angry with her, but why Buffy? Buffy says "because I let 
it happen." The back kitchen door bursts open with a smoking, 
blanket-covered Spike! He stamps out the smoldering blanket, 
collects himself, and says calmly "good morning." "You couldn't find 
a less flammable type of day to take a stroll?" Buffy asks, not 
looking pleased to see him. Spike says he's stopped by to see if his 
lighter was here. Buffy quickly says "haven't seen it." Willow 
leaves, saying she's going to get dressed, leaving Buffy and Spike 
alone. "Lame... you, making up excuses." Buffy says. "Don't 
flatter yourself, love... I was bloody fond of that lighter." Spike 
says. "Stop trying to see me, and stop calling me that." "So, 
what should I call you then? Pet? Sweetheart? Goldilocks?" Spike 
caresses her hair "You know I love this hair... the way it bounces 
around." The sexual tension between the two is thick, just 
before... "Good god pre-cambridge, Spike!" Xander says in shock in 
the doorway. "Still trying to mack on Buffy? Wake up already... 
never gonna happen. Only a complete loser would hook up with you... 
unless they're a simpleton like Harmony or a complete nut-job like 
Drusill..." "HEY!" Buffy defends. "You've... got to go get Dawn to 
school!" Buffy calls for Dawn as she and Xander meet Dawn at the 
front door. Buffy drills Dawn about being home right after school, 
where Dawn throws in a jab about Buffy finding time to get her into 
another car accident. This is said right as Buffy opens the door... 
to a new person! Doris Kroger from social services! Dawn and Xander 
leave as Buffy is obviously taken completely at a loss, not 
remembering the scheduled meeting. They walk into the living room, 
finding Spike relaxing, wondering when they're going to have 
their "talk." Buffy nerviously introduces the social services lady, 
which makes Spike jump up and defend Buffy's motherhood over 
Dawn. "She takes good care of Dawn, like, when Dawn was hanging out 
too much at my crypt..." "Crib" Buffy corrects as she ushers Spike 
out of the room. Doris asks if Spike sleeps here, which Buffy 
vehemently denies. Buffy says it's just she and Dawn living there... 
JUST as Willow calls down, saying she's tired and gonna take a nap.  
Social Services lady questions her living with another woman, which 
Buffy says yes, but it's not a gay thing, even though Willow is gay, 
etc... Doris then looks over at the box of magic items and pulls out 
a bag of herbs. "That's not what it looks like!" Buffy 
defends... "It's MAGIC weed." "I think I've seen enough" Doris 
says and starts to leave. Buffy says there's much more to the story 
and she has good reasons, but Doris tells of Dawn's constant 
tardiness and low grades at school. Doris announces that Buffy is on 
probation, which means she'll be watching VERY carefully and if 
things are not improved, Buffy could lose guardianship. "Didn't go 
well, huh?" Spike asks from behind Buffy. Buffy turns and orders 
him to leave. He corners her against the doorframe and starts 
feeling her... pocket. He grabs his lighter, quips that's all he 
wanted, and leaves with "So long, Goldilocks." Buffy goes upstairs 
and starts to cry. She sits slumped on her bed and looks in the 
mirror... she is disgusted by her image of what Spike sees, finds 
some scissors in a near drawer, and starts hacking at her long 
locks. Sitting in a beauty salon, Buffy tells the hairstylist "just 
make me... different." Warren walks with invisibility gun in hand 
with Andrew and Jonathon trailing. They march up to a tanning 
salon. Andrew worries they'll get caught, but Jonathon says they'll 
be invisible. Warren starts to get ready to blast Andrew and 
Jonathon, but Andrew spots the slayer! Warren turns and hides the 
invisibility gun behind him. Buffy doesn't notice as she walks 
nearer. Warren feels... Nothing in his hand! From around the 
corner, Warren finds Andrew and Jonathon arguing and wrestling with 
the gun (which is heard powering up). Andrew: "I need to be 
invisible!" "I need to be invisible more so Buffy can't see me!" 
says Jonathon. Warren joins the struggle as the gun goes off! It 
blasts Buffy, a large tree, a traffic cone, a fire hydrant, and a 
dumpster, turning all invisible. "oopsy" says Andrew. Commercial 
break: Windex makes it SHINE! At the magic box, Xander and Anya 
discuss seating arrangements for the wedding. Anya defends her 
wanting to invite her "ex boss" D'hoffryn just as an invisible Buffy 
walks in the front door. Remarking on the bad seating layout, Buffy 
scares Xander, who starts looking around for the not-in-sight 
slayer. Buffy doesn't joke long, though... "Don't strain yourself 
looking, Xander... I'm invisible girl." Xander thinks for a moment, 
then asks if Buffy's been feeling "ignored" lately. "Ignored? I 
wish. No, this isn't a Marcy deal." Buffy says, continuing with 
telling how she's not sure how it happened. Buffy tells of her bad 
day calmly to a still bemused Xander and Anya. Buffy plays and jokes 
with two decorative ball-things, then an old skull, while Xander and 
Anya try to figure out who would turn her invisible, how to turn her 
back, etc. Xander decides to go check the spot where Buffy 
disappeared. Buffy says that sounds good as she announces she's 
going for a walk and leaves. Anya says it's pretty obviousl that 
this is a spell. Xander asks who would cast that type of spell, to 
make a slayer invisible? Anya retorts that it might be a mistake, 
which gets Xander thinking... Willow sits at the dining room table, 
typing on her iBook laptop. She sees a book that she needs at the 
other end of the table and STARTS to use magic to bring it to her, 
but stops herself, JUST as Xander walks in. She fears she's been 
caught as Xander says they have to talk. Willow thinks Xander is 
talking about her little magic use right now, but Xander really is 
hinting at the imagined invisible Buffy spell he THINKS Willow cast.  
Finally Xander sees that Willow doesn't understand what he's talking 
about and tells that Buffy's invisible. Willow is hurt that he 
thought she did this to Buffy. "So now when anything nasty happens I 
get conveniently blamed for it?" Xander believes she didn't do it, 
but Willow walks out in a huff. In tres geeks basment, Warren tries 
to fix the invisibility gun. The circuits are fried from the 
struggle and mega-long blast. All three start to get nervous at the 
thought of an invisible slayer (even getting paranoid for a 
moment). In a park, Buffy starts to have fun with her "unseen" 
appearance. She scares a woman by removing an ugly studded baseball 
cap, claiming she's the ghost of fashion victims past, then take's a 
policeman's golf cart on a little spin. She pulls up to the Social 
Services office and decides to give Doris Kroger a visit. Inside, 
Doris thinks she's going nuts after her coffee mug starts 
disappearing, reappearing, moving, and then dancing, saying "kill 
kill kill... Kill Doris. Kill everybody... you know you want to."  
Doris goes off to collect herself as invisible Buffy finds her case 
file on Doris' desk. Doris's boss approaches a bothered Doris, 
wanting to discuss the Summers case file. Doris walks over to her 
desk and hands him the file, but all that's inside is sheet after 
sheet of paper that reads "All work and no play makes Doris a dull 
girl." The nearby computer printer also spews out the same sheets.  
Doris then tells her boss that it was the voice... Her boss tells her 
to take a break, see her doctor, and that they'll re-do the Summers 
interview. Buffy marches out of the social services office, wistling 
a line or two from "Going through the Motions." Xander walks up to 
an alley where he finds Willow spray painting the dumpster so it can 
be seen. Willow confronts Xander about not getting on her case, 
which Xander makes Xander go on the defensive. Willow apologizes as 
she starts pointing out clues in the area of Buffy's dissapearance.  
She found black paint on an invisible firehydrant, along with tire 
marks. Xander reasons the black paint might belong to Buffy's 
phantom van that's been following her. The two also stumble across 
the invisible traffic cone and decide to take it with them so they 
can find out what kind of "spell" it is. Spike sits, watching some 
cheesy movie, as he sees his crypt door open and close by itself.  
Spike starts taunting the "beasty", saying to get lost. Invisible 
Buffy brushes by him, then he reason's it's a ghost, but then 
the "ghost" throws Spike up against a wall and pins him. Suddenly 
his shirt rips open! "Buffy?" He asks, to which she replys "I TOLD 
you... stop trying to see me." Spike gets thrown aside... At the 
Magic Box, Anya and Xander pour over books, looking for invisibility 
spells. Anya has other things on her mind, though, and brings up 
wedding seating arrangements again. Xander rebukes her, but Anya 
says she can't find any spells that would turn Buffy and anything 
near her invisible, as she reaches for the now-visible-thanks-to-
spray-paint traffic cone. Part of the cone crumbles in her hand, 
turning to "pudding" as she puts it. Xander does a test and his hand 
goes easily into the cone, leaving a pudding residue. Xander says 
they have to get a hold of Buffy quick before she starts to turn into 
pudding herself! Commercial break: Got gas? Visit your local BP 
station! Back at tres geeks lair, Warren continues to repair the 
invisibility gun while the three discuss the "degrading" qualities of 
the invisibility ray. Andrew and Jonathon worry about Buffy, not 
wanting to kill her, but Warren starts to show his true colors, 
saying that they're villains and it shouldn't matter. Andrew and 
Jonathon argue that they're crime lords and they don't' want to kill 
anyone. Jonathon stands up to Warren, ordering him to finish the 
invisibility gun so they can "re-invisible" Buffy and save her.  
Warren backs down, saying "fine... whatever you two say." Xander 
walks in Spikes crypt door. He looks around and sees the place 
trashed! Going deeper into his crypt, Xander comes across Spike in 
bed. Naked... on top of... something. Xander asks what he's doing.  
Spike is kinda embarrassed, claiming he's doing pushups! Xander, 
still wondering, says he's looking for Buffy. Spike tries to answer, 
have a coherent conversation with him, but Buffy is toying with 
Spike, nibbling on his ear, kissing his neck, etc... Xander leaves 
finally as Spike talks to Buffy. She seems free and reckless and 
it's not right. She says that she does feel free from 
responsibilities and is gonna have some long overdue fun, but Spike 
throws her out. Well, tries to throw her out, as she 
does "something" for him in the neither regions. Sitting at a 
computer terminal (in what looks like a cyber-café), Willow looks up 
information on a DMV computer system, trying to track the van.  
The "searching" is gong slow, and she is tempted to place her hand on 
the screen and help it speed things along with magic, but again 
catches herself as the search completes itself. Buffy walks down 
her neighborhood street, kicking a can, complaining that she actually 
got kicked out of Spike's crypt! She walks into her front door and 
calls for Willow and Dawn. Nobody answers as she goes to get 
something from the fridge. Just then Dawn sneaks in the back door, 
acting all quiet. Buffy says "there you are" quite calmly. She 
tells Dawn she's invisible and then does tricks and jokes with a 
pizza box, but Dawn is very shaken. Buffy acts as if it's ok, saying 
Anya and Xander are working on the invisibility problem, but Dawn 
gets upset, asking Buffy why she isn't working on it? Dawn is 
obviously very bothered by this and storms out because she can't talk 
to someone she can't see. Invisible Buffy sees the phone answering 
machine message flashing and plays it. It's Xander, giving Buffy 
warning that if they don't correct this invisibility thing soon, she 
might dissolve or fade into nothing! "Wow" Buffy remarks. Having 
traced the licence plate of tres geeks van to their lair, Willow 
sneaks up on the place. She goes in through the basement door and 
looks around, spotting all the weird geek-like stuff. She sees 
blueprints for the invisibility ray and smiles, knowing what 
happened. She then sees the invisibility gun itself and approaches 
it, as we hear Warren yell "NOW!" Two invisible geeks grab her by 
the arms while invisible Warren says "congratulations, you're our 
first hostage." Commercial: FantasyBots, Inc. Making your Buffy-
filled fantasies come true! Buffy calls up to Dawn, saying she's 
going out to find Xander, just as the phone rings. Buffy answers and 
the voice on the other end says that she doesn't have a lot of time.  
They've got Willow, and if Buffy doesn't want anything bad to happen 
to her, she'll meet them. "Where?" Buffy asks. In an Arcade!  
Willow stands by a pinball machine as Warren's voice is heard 
saying "Just stay still and you won't get hurt." Buffy's voice 
appears out of nowhere, asking Willow where the bad guys are? Willow 
says nearby, but there's only three of them... she thinks. Warren 
says they can cause plenty of carnage, right guys? GUYS?!? Andrew 
and Jonathon are playing a videogame but give it up. Going over to 
someplace a little less crowded, Willow says that the geeks told her 
everything, Buffy says she already knows about the deadly 
properties. Warren's voice says "I can fix that" as the invisibility 
gun appears! Warren asks Buffy to hold up an air hockey mallet off 
the table so he'll have something to aim at, which Buffy does. But 
Willow notices the settings on the gun aren't right and that Warren 
is going to kill Buffy! The other two geeks argue as Warren hits 
Willow in the face with the gun butt. Buffy throws the air hockey 
mallet at invisible Warren and he drops the gun. Then, what follows 
is a weirdly funny fight scene. The camera follows the "action" all 
around the arcade as we here punches and "ooffs". Willow picks up 
the invisibility gun, re-adjusts the settings, and blasts Jonathon 
and Buffy back into sight! "Jonathon?!?" Buffy says, surprised.  
Willow blasts Warren. "Warren?!?" Again surpised Buffy. Willow 
blasts Andrew. "Who are you?" Buffy asks, as Andrew explains that he 
released flying monkey demons at the school play, he's Tucker's 
brother, which then helps Buffy. The three geeks gather together, 
announcing that they are Buffy's arch nemesises... nemesiees. Warren 
takes charge "You may have beaten us this time slayer, but next 
time... next time... um..." "Maybe not!" says Jonathon as he throws 
down a smoke cloud burst. Buffy and Willow look around confused, 
then the smoke clears to reveal the Troika trying to undo a locked 
door in the back of the arcade. A rent-a-cop shows up just as the 
three manage to escape. "Oh my God, Buffy..." Willow gasps. Buffy 
says she's right, they should go after them, but Willow says "No... 
your hair! It is adorable!" Willow and Buffy walk out of the 
arcade slowly. Willow says that it was a hard, exausting day for 
her, having to actually DO everything without magic. Willow asks 
Buffy how she's doing, post-invisibility. Buffy says she's ok, but 
she has to do some damage control with Dawn, who was pretty upset.  
The "vacation from me" thing didn't work out too well. BUT, 
receiving Xander's message that she was fading away actually scared 
her. She now realizes that she doesn't want to die. "So I guess we 
both made good first steps... yay for us" Willow says calmly. "Yay" 
Buffy answers.   

Grr... arrg.