FIC:(repost) On Occasions 10.b (2/2)

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Half in fear, half in dread, half in anticipation, hey I was with
Buffy that makes me one hundred and fifty percent Willow, I turned my head to
see the little audience in the barely completed drama. 

Giles was sitting on the floor, still rubbing his injured ankle. A bit of
guilt tweaked my mind but not that much. Xander was standing a little behind
Giles and to his left. My best friend's jaw hung open and he wasn't blinking.
I wasn't sure if he was breathing. The cross hung from his limp fingers and
when it slipped free and clattered to the floor I jumped even though I knewit
was coming. 


Buffy giggled nervously behind me. I could feel my own lips being pulled up
in some insane smile that would not be denied. 

"So." Giles stated shattering the awkward silence, which was not all that
good a thing, the end of awkward silences usally lead to awkward
conversations. "I take it that the rumors of your demise have been greatly
exagerated Willow?" 

He was smiling a half, somewhat hesitant, smile. Looking like someone who had
found someone that they had believed lost but, upon finding them again,
discovered that they were not exactly what he remembered. Whaddya know, that's
exactly what happened.

"Um..." I hesitated. First impressions in this sort of situation are very
important and I wanted to make sure I said the right thing.

"Yes?" I shrugged. 

"Yes?" Xander exclaimed. "Yes!?"

He rushed from around where Giles was still sitting, grabbed me by the
shoulders and pulled me to my feet. Staring into my face for a moment he than
yanked me hard, wrapped his arms around me and gave me an almost painful hug.

"Hey!" I heard Buffy protesting slightly. 

"God Willow." Xander mumbled into my ear. "I thought I'd lost my best friend!
Do you have any idea how that feels? I thought you were dead, gone, deceased,
some sort of souless demon spawn hell bent on eating the pizza delivery boy,
rather than the actual pizza..."

The relief he must have been feeling caught up with him and his grip
tightened even more. I was touched by how much he cared, but I was somewhat
concerned about the small danger signals my vertebrae were giving off.
Something about stress fractures. 

"Jesus Will." He said again. "I believed you were dead. I really, really
believed it."

He was silent for a few moments longer then gently released his embrace.
Leaving his hands on my shoulders he stepped back and just stared me in the
eyes for some time. 

Finally he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Some sort of burden must
have been released at that moment because, when he opened his eyes again they
were my old Xander-Buddies eyes, alight with life, warmth, humor and...oh
nuts...mischief. 

"But you're not dead are you." He stated rather than asked.

"No." I replied, shaking my head and smiling up at him. "Quite alive."

"There is nothing suckworthy about this turn of events." He said smirking
slightly.

"Nope. Me being still among the living is a total suck-free happening." I
giggled. I really should have known better. I've known Xander a very long time
and should have been able to sidestep his traps by now. 

"Speaking of 'suck'," Xander interupted. "Did someone hit me on the head and
I, being so used to it, simply did not notice or were you sucking on Buffy's
tongue not two minutes ago?"

"Yeah that's it!" Buffy exclaimed coming to stand by my side. If she was
still hurting in any way her voice did not betray it. She always was good at
hiding her feelings, too good sometimes. I made a mental note for her and Ito
have a talk later. Or something. I wanted to be sure. 

"You're having a dream Xander." Buffy continued nudging me with her elbow
gently. "S'all just some weird fantasy of yours. You have lots of those."

"Uh." I strategicaly added, I never really wanted to ponder much over
Xander's fantasies.

"Hmmmm. Could be, could be." Xander said tactfully. He looked around the room
slowly, being careful not to gaze at either me or Buffy. I knew that look,
that was Xander's 'I'm Going to Nail You to a Wall in Three...Two...' look.

"No." He announced. "This is definitely not a fantasy."

"Oh?" Buffy shot back, hand on her hips, head cocked to one side. "What makes
you think so?"

I mentally shook my head and tried to supress a sigh; she should really have
known better. I mean, this is Xander okay?

Xander shot her a truimphant smile, his arms folded over his chest. "Cause
none of us are naked!" he announced.

Buffy's eyes bulged out and she took a threatening step toward Xander, fist
raised in warning. 

"Hey, hey!" Xander backed off holding out his hands in a placating gesture.
"Joke. Joke really. Well, except for that one time...but that was a long time
ago and I've never thought about it again. Except when I eat lime green
Jell-O. Oh nuts." He muttered the last bit.


"Xander!" I squealed outraged, but in a good humored way. This is what we
needed, something to reaffirm who we were, what we meant to each other.
Family, being family I guess. 

"Xander." Giles said carefully, putting his weight on his uninjured foot. I
felt a flash of guilt when I saw him hobbling over to us but managed not to
burst into tears or anything stupid. "I find myself oddly disturbed that you
have me being in any of your fantasies. Past, present or future."

Now it was Xander's turn to gape as he got zinged. By Giles no less. That had
to bruise the ego.

"What..who... how?" Xander sputtered. "You were so not there G-Man. I was
just talking about these two." He gestured emphatically with a pointed finger
at Buffy and I. 

"Oh well that's much better than." Giles murmered as he looked at me fondly.
His eyes said everything that his British upbringing wouldn't allow him to.He
gently put an arm around my shoulders. "I am very pleased to see you well
Willow and that our assumptions were incorrect."

"Yeah!" I replied while nodding seriously. "I got a pulse an' everything."

Giles stared at me a bit than with a muttered "Sod the rules." wrapped me in
a gentle, rather paternal, hug. Not a lot of people had hugged me in my life,
save for Buffy, I realised I'd been missing out. 

"I'm sorry about kicking you." I said quietly stepping out of the hug. 

"Oh don't worry about that." Giles said in mild amusement. He hobbled overto
one of the chairs around the table and sank into it gratefully. "I'm sure
it'll heal." He paused. "In a month or so."

"Sooorrryyy." I whined. Guilt, with the more immediate problems out of the
way, was now running rampant through my mind. Actually, it was so close to
'normal' for me I sorta felt right at home.

Giles sighed. "Willow, I'll be fine. Really. I can understand why you
did...er..what you felt you had to do. Not knowing the situation and what with
the rest of us acting all so out of sorts." 

He leaned foward resting his elbows on his knees. "However," He continued.
"This doesn't answer the question, what exactly was it that you Buffy, and you
Xander saw at the Bronze?"

"Yeah." Xander added helpfully, sitting down as well. He leaned back in his
chair and, ignoring Giles disapproving scowl, rested his feet on the table
edge. "I mean, I know I wasn't fantaisizing then, she was real Giles. Fully
three-dimensional, dolby surround sound, total interaction real."

"Realer than that." Buffy muttered taking the seat beside me. She moved a
hand under the table and rested it on my thigh. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't
a gesture of affection, more likely it was to reassure herself that I was
still there and really real. I put my hand on top of hers and gave it a gentle
squeese. She smiled at me, behind which still lurked some issues. I
double-prioritized the mental note. 

"Willow in case you don't quite know what we're referring too-" Giles began.

"I can guess." I interupted. "Xander with the cross, calling me a demon,"
Xander flushed and started examing the tips of his shoes, "And you Giles,
telling me that I only wore the face of their friend and really wasn't
anymore." Now it was the Watcher's turn to look somewhat flustered. "You saw a
vampire."

The quiet in the room seemed as sudden as the good cheer had a moment ago.
Only not as enjoyable. Finally, after what was far too long Buffy spoke.
Again her voice had taken that etheral quality, weak and not totally there.
Her voice trembled as she spoke, and the clear message that everything was
'not alright' was very visable.

"Not just any vampire Willow." She said. "You."

"Me." I echoed. I wasn't that surprised. Not at all even. If they were acting
like they had seen a vampire and treated me as such, than it had to have been
me as a vampire that Buffy and Xander saw. Of course the big question was how
was that possible?

Xander sighed. "Yeah." He raised his head and stared at me. "It was you
Willow. Didn't just look like you, it was you!"

I squirmed in my chair. I didn't know what was bothered me more, the fact
that somehow a vampiric version of myself was running around, doing God knows
what, or that my friends were referring to me as an 'It'. 

"Didn't dress like you though." Xander chuckled. "No siree-Bob it did not at
all."

Now my curosity was piqued. "Oh? How was she dressed?"

Buffy swallowed a few times. "Uh.." She began. "Scantily?" 

"Mmm.." Xander mused, his lips pursed in thought. "I'd go with firmly. She
was dressed firmly."

Giles shook his head slightly. "Facinating though it may be for some of usto
discuss how Willow's doppleganger was dressed it doesn't answer the question
how two of.." He broke off and looked at me awkwardly. "Er..you, came to exist
Willow."

Something was bugging me. A gnagging thought at the back of my head was
dancing around. It lent itself to an idea but wouldn't come out and give me
the actual answers. I hated it when that happend, still do today.

I pondered for a bit, not listening to the others as they discussed
possibilities to explain the arrival of my 'Other'. 

Xander was postulating the idea that it was secret Govermental cloning
experiments run amok. Giles thought similarly but had the bad guys being
sorcerers or something. Buffy didn't say anything, just kept running her hand
up and down my thigh gently. 

Then the idea came forth totally. "Urk!" I bolted upright in my chair. 

"What? What!" Buffy yanked her hand away, her voice laced with panic. "Are
you alright? Are you okay? Is your vampiric twin connected to you somehow and
you can see what she's doing? Is it awful? Can you tell us where she is? Oh
God Willow I'm sorry it must be terrible!"

Buffy was staring at me, her expression one of deep concern and sympathy. I
didn't deserve it cause nothing was wrong, well, nothing like Buffy was
worrying about.

"Heh." I smiled. "In order recieved. Yes, yes, no, no, I don't know probably,
no. It probably is but I'm not sure. Nothing like that Buffy, I just had an
idea. I'll be right back." I pushed my chair back and stood up.

"I'll go with you!" Buffy announced standing up.

I paused. Okay, I should have seen it coming. Buffy was fully into 'Protect'
mode. 

I gently caressed her face with my hands. "Buffy, I'm just going into the
office. There's a book there I need, if that's alright with you Giles." I said
glancing at him.

"Of course." He said. "Do you have an idea on where your twin came from?"

"Maybe," I replied. "I just want to check something." Turning back to Buffy I
smiled at her softly. "Office y'know. Right over there?" I pointed to the
doorway with my free hand. "About forty feet away tops. I'll be fine."

"Yeah... but-" Buffy pouted a bit. "Forty feet is pretty far Will. And
..um...those books. They can be real tempermental. Could be all sorts of nasty
things in those pages just waiting for some unsuspecting type to open to the
wrong page and...and..I'm being silly aren't I?"

"Not at all." I leaned foward and kissed her gently on the lips. "You're
loving me."

"Full time job." She answered before kissing me back. I pulled away with
incredible reluctance and headed for Giles's office. I heard Xander comment
behind me.

"Y'know, this is going to take far less 'getting used to' than I originally
thought."

"Xander." Buffy growled. 

I chuckled to myself and grabbed the book I had in mind off the shelf. 
	
I started flipping through the pages. "Dimensions, dimensions, where is that
spell on dimensions?" I muttered to myself heading back to Buffy and my
friends. I didn't exactly hear the voices that were speaking. At least not
until I got through the doorway.

"...have some bad news Buffy." I glanced up. Angel was standing next to
Buffy, his bearing one of someone having a real bad day and having the added
duty of having to share.

"What is it Angel?" Buffy was worried again, her face bleak. The fact that
she had believed, truly believed, I was dead had really hurt her. I would
spend a long time making her better. I thought at the time we'd both enjoy
it.

"I...I just want you to know that I'm there for you. I always will be." Angel
continued, dancing around whatever it was he had to share. 

"Spit it out Angel!" Buffy commanded. Her patience was at an all time low.

"What's wrong Angel?" I said from the doorway.

He glanced at me, than back at Buffy, back to me again. He paused. Looked
thoughtful for a second. "Uhhmmm...nevermind."

The silence stretched for a few seconds as we each seperatly tried to figure
out Angel's strange behaivore. Then it clicked for all of us at the same
time.

"Oh." I said quietly.

"Ah." Buffy said rolling her eyes. "That."

"That indeed." Giles contributed.

"You saw her too?" Xander asked. 

Angel looked hard pressed to answer that. "I...saw something, yeah. Can
someone tell me what's going on here?" 

"Er." Giles started. "As far as we can tell there are two of..uhm..Willow.
One is a vampire the other is..."

"I'm not!" I said forcefully. "I don't where she came from, who she reallyis
or anything like that but I am very, very positive that I am not some
bloodthirsty, psychotic, demonic creature of the night!" I gave Angel a
worried glance. "No offense?" I squeaked.

"None taken." He answered with a perfectly straight face. "I'm just glad
you're okay." He looked back at Buffy, "But there's still bad news. Willow,"
He paused again and giving me a careful look clarified, "The bloodthirsty,
psychotic, demonic creature of the night one I mean, is at the Bronze with 
some pals. I think they're planning a little party."


"How many?" Buffy asked. The doubt and weariness that all this emotional
jerking around had caused was gone in a second. This was Buffy the Slayer now.
Duty springing to the fore, strength of commitment etc..etc..

"At least ten." Angel replied. Giles had, demonstrating his ankle was indeed
okay, quickly strode over to the weapons cabinet and had started handing them
out. Xander snagged a crossbow and hastily stuffed two stakes in his jacket
pocket. 

"We go?" He asked Buffy. Angel reached out and grabbed some stakes that Giles
handed him.

Buffy turned toward me slowly and stared at me hard, she idley ran a finger
along the edge of 'Mr. Pointy' she had retrieved from her handbag. I met her
gaze and I understood what she was thinking. Probably something along the
lines of 'If I bring her, she'll be in danger, if I don't bring her she'll be
alone and in danger.' 
	
I put the book I had retrieved from the office on the countertop. "Giles." I
said slowly, still meeting Buffy's gaze, "Can you toss me a couple stakes?"

"Er." Giles said, still rumaging through the weapons cabinets. "If it's all
well and good with you Willow, I'd rather just put them on the table and not
have sharpened wooden objects hurled blindy about my library."

Coming to a decision of her own Buffy looked at Xander. "We go." She said
with a nod.

I couldn't help it, I smiled. I had, and to this day have, no idea how hard
it must have been for her to accept that I was going to be in a little danger
no matter what. I guess she could handle that possibility. For now. Besides,
what other option was there? Putting me in an airtight house on the bottom of
the ocean floor? That wouldn't work. Sharks!

"Suited up." Xander declared his pockets bulging with stakes, holy water and
three seperate crucifixes hanging around his neck. I also noticed....

He saw where I was staring and unsuccessfully attempted to conceal The Star
of David that was also hanging around his neck. I gave him a mock severe
glare. 

"Aw c'mon Will." He whined. "I mean, she is..er..was... at..one time. Hey,
better to err on the side of caution okay?"

"Whatever Xander." I said rolling my eyes. I took any sting out my statement
by nudging him in the ribs with my elbow.

"Everybody ready?" Buffy asked. When no one replied in the negative she
started heading for the doors leading out of the library. "Okay gang, let'sgo
then."

We fell in line behind her, ready to head out and face the darkness, conquer
the evil, uh... right the wrongs, um..that kind of stuff. Just out the door
and down the hall I remembered what I had forgotten. "Rats!" I exclaimed.

"What is it?" Buffy asked still walking briskly for the exit of the high
school. I'd fallen into step beside her. 

"Oh I forgot the book I thought we needed. You keep going. I'll be right
back."

She paused and almost turned around but I intercepted her with an upheld
hand.

"Buffy, there's protection and then there's obsession." I said firmly.

"Okay? So? I'm obsessed with protecting you. Sue me." She replied glibly.

"This is just like the office Buffy, what..I'll be...five hundred feet away?
What's the big?" I gestured down the hallway we came. 

"Yeah...but...Willow..." Buffy hesitated. "It's such a lonely five hundred
feet."

"Get outta here." I said playfully. "I'll catch up." 

"No." Buffy declared crossing her arms. "We'll wait."

"Buffy." Angel said quietly coming up behind her.

"We'll wait!" Buffy declared emphatically.

I sighed. Nodded. And ran back to the library. The book was where I had left
it. Grabbing I turned around and headed back for the door intent of giving my
Buffy a good talking too about over proection and how she was being far, far
too careful. The cold hand that wrapped itself around my face, covering my
mouth told me I might have been wrong. 

The quiet lilting voice that purred in my ear and was far, far too familiar,
told me I was most definitely wrong. "Alone at last."

It's one thing to hear about an individual's darkside. There own potential
for evil. A 'you' that has, somehow, been ripped of morals, ethics, their
personal code, it doesn't matter what you call it. That's gone and they become
someone else yet are still who they were. That's scary enough just thinking
about it...anndd a little attractive too. It's something else completely to
actually be confronted with that person though.

Because...because she was me. 

Once upon a time.

They say that a vampire is merely a demon inhabiting an empty vessel. That
the soul is gone. The books compound this statement by explaining how the
demon takes characteristics of the person but is not the actual person itself.


I found myself doubting that and believing them more than ever before. At the
same time. 

It gave me a headache.

She was dressed in a very tight ....outfit. Her hair was identical to mine
but she had on a lot more...makeup. Her lips were a dark, bloody dark, red.
Shadowed eyeliner increased the effect of something serious being wrong and
her pale skin...just.. 

What made it the most horrible was, despite all these changes she was me. I
could tell. Her body language was totally different. Hands on her hips, said
hips cocked sexily, her stance just a little too wide, like part invitation
part threat. She smiled at me slowly and ran the tip of her tounge over those
lips. But she was still me. I could see it. Everything may have changed, body
language, tone of voice...eating habits..but there was me in there. Me!
Trapped.

I found myself wondering a thousand things. Was Buffy a vampire wherever she
came from? Did they love each other? Could they? Did she still find the same
things funny? Or similar things funny though terribly twisted? Was...was she
still tickilish in the same spots that Buffy loved to tickle me? Something in
me made me believe so but at the same time I doubted wether she'd laugh. IfI
reached out and jabbed her lightly in beteen her ribs and pelvis there would
probably be a ticklish feeling. She just wouldn't laugh, I doubted whether she
knew how.

She looked me over. I felt like I was hanging from a hook and someone had
stamped me 'Grade-A' beef. There had been times when I had really wished
someone had looked at me like that. Any kind of attention would have been
nice. Now that I had it, from Buffy and her looking was ever so much nicer,I
didn't want 'that' look looking at me.

"Nice." She purred stalking toward me. I backed away keeping the distance
between us pretty much the same. Or I did. Until I ran out of places to back
up into. A darn inconvenient place to put a desk. 

She reached out and ran one...very..cold palm over my cheek. Her fingers tips
carving icy trails that lingered after her actual touch had ended. I had to
swallow convulsively. Gorge was making its presence known.

"Fuzzy." She continued eyeing my sweater. "But nice."

"What do you want?" I demanded. Trying to sound a lot braver than I felt.
I've tried that in the past, normally I sounded exactly how I felt. Scared.I
didn't do too hot this time either.

"Your friend," she said, walking up beside me and throwing an arm over my
shoulder. "Anya, told me you brought me here. She told me that you're the one
that took me from my world. She...suggested that you could be," 

She smiled, 

"would be," 

her smile grew wider,

"should be the one to get me back home." She finished. Her hand, was playing
with the stands of hair that were over my ear, she was sliding the tip of her
finger, with talon, over and along the edge of my neck. No one, save Buffy,
had ever touched me like that. It felt wrong, it was a violation. It
...looking back on it..hurt somehow. Outrage gave me courage, or a near fatal
case of idiocy, and I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from me while
stepping out of her...embrace.

"Don't touch me!" I said as fierce as I could. It didn't really deter her she
just kept smiling. 

"Now now." She chastised. "there's no harm in playing with yourself now is
there?"

All the air just left my lungs. I didn't even have the strength to even
squeak in protest. 

She toyed with the edge of her leather...clothing. The part that began about
two centimeters from being 'indecent'.

"Don't knock it till you've tried it." She purred, sliding her finger idley
ran down the center of her chest, between her breasts and stopping it just
below where her navel would be. "Cause I won't."

She took another step, her finger followed a reverse course except it didn't
stop, she dragged her touch over her own neck, past the place where anyone
living might have a pulse, and then slid the tip between her fingers. She
suckled briefly and I saw her jaw tense. Then she moaned.

"Mmmm..." Her cheeks caved a little. She was...sucking. With a quiet 'pop'
she eased the tip of her finger out and held pointed at me, an offering. Her
fingertip was bloody. She'd bitten herself and fed off her own ..someone
else's...the borrowed blood. Stolen blood..I meant stolen blood. 

"Want some?" She asked crooking an eyebrow. "It's finger licking good."

I shook my head feebly. I could hear my own heartbeat. Which meant, by her
standards, I must have sounded like a drum quartet. "N-no thanks. I ..ate."

She just smiled again. Then she inhaled deeply, through her nose. Tasting the
air, testing it. 

"I know." She simpered. She hadn't moved, she hadn't taken a step yet she was
suddenly right in front of, like she had slid across the space between us. 

She dipped her head down and sniffed again right at the junction of my
throat. 

"Mmmm..." She lifted her head so her lips were directly next to my ear. "I
can tell. I can smell her on you."

She started sliding her fingers over my cheeks again. It wasn't a caress. A
caress is something you want, a physical momento and symbol of affection from
a loved one. She wasn't that, she wasn't anywhere near that. Nothing there in
what she was doing. Just flesh sliding over flesh. I barely repressed the
shudder that so wanted to ...um..shake me.

"She thought I was you." She whispered. "In the Bronze. She was afraid she'd
hurt your feelings somehow. She was trying to make it better."

A finger curled in my hair. "She told me she loved me."

"I wonder," she hummed still playing with my hair. "What it would be like to
play."

She slid both hands over my cheeks, one stopped at the back of my neck, the
other slid down over my back and rested just above my waist. 

"Whaddya say?" She murmed, now she brushed her lips over my neck. I couldn't
move. I just..I could have screamed, shouted, pushed her away, done something
but I couldn't. She was all sex and promises and greed and power and dark and
..slick. She was so slick. Like oil on water. Like someone who hasn't washed
their hair in weeks and then dives in a swimming pool slick. 

"Maybe blondie would like it huh?" She nipped at my skin again. "Two for the
price on one right? What's that called? A menege la threeway I think."

Thought requires movement did you know that? Bio-Chemistry with electronic
impluses moving from brain cell to brain cell. That what happens when you
think. I was so paralysed, by...disgust and horror and... I was sad. I feltso
sad for ...for her. She had been me, she had laughed and ..and been good at
computers. Xander had been her friend I bet. She probably had been picked on
by Cordelia too. She'd had sunshine and not so good times. Now she ...was
something else. Something alien yet sill me. Still us. 

Then she licked my neck. She lay the flat of her tounge on my flesh and
licked from the base of my neck all the way to where my jawline began. She did
this to me, leaving a thick line of cold, dead slime coating me. Then she
said, "Wanna be bad?"

The licking. That broke the freeze I was in. With a shriek, rage, fear,
disgust it doesn't matter, it was a shriek, I pushed her away and grabbed a
crucifix off the desk. Now it was a conviently placed desk. 

"Get away from me!" I shouted.

Snarling she backhanded the cross out of my grasp, completed her spin and
grabbed me by the throat. 

"Fair enough." She hissed. She yanked me close, smashed her lips to mine
before holding me out at arms length again. "Maybe she ate you, maybe you ate
her. I don't care. I am going to eat you. Then after that we'll try it again.
Who knows, maybe a good role in the hay will change your thinking."

She smirked. "Y'know what they say, once you've had vamp, you can never go
back."
And her features shifted. And I knew I had been wrong, there wasn't any of me
in there anymore. 
The books were right. It was just a demon. Too little realization too late.

Then I was dropped. She had let me go. I looked up and found out why.

Buffy was standing behind my 'twin'. Her hand was locked around the vampire's
neck from behind and now Buffy was hoisting her off the ground.

She looked so powerful in that moment. The library was dark, most of the
lights off and the illumination from the hallway halowed her figure. She was
tall, and dangerous and wild. So beautiful and terrible and... I can admit it
to myself now, being more mature, but I wanted her, Buffy, at that moment more
than any other time.

"Actully," Buffy growled out between clenched teeth. "I'd have to disagree.
Believe me, I know these things."

Then Buffy hit her. 

Hard.

The vampire, she wasn't me, impacted on a book shelf lining the far wall and
went down. She didn't get up. 

Buffy was next to me in a heartbeat. I was still sprawled over the floor and
she gathered me into her arms. 

Her voice was running a mile a minute.

"OhmyGodI'msosorry! Iknew Ishould have come with you!Did she hurt you?Did she
biteyou?Hit you? Any marks? Bruises? Willow? Willow can you hear me? How many
fingers am I holding up?" Buffy didn't actually hold up any fingers. "No
broken bones? Are you bleeding?

"Buffy." I said. She rode over me.

"She didn't..she didn't..do anything did she? Oh no she did. I'm going to
kill her. I'm going to hurt her. I'm going to tie her down with ropes soaked
in holy water out on the lawn!"

"Buffy. I tried again. Nope. She didn't catch it.

"Don't you worry baby, everything will be okay. I swear it, I'll fix it.
Somehow. I promise. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She was
sobbing.

She was crying and screaming and holding me tight, and rocking me back and
forth, it would have been soothing but she was rocking me back and forth so
hard I was getting sea sick. It was, and is, the most touching, loving memory
I have of us. It's also, I'll be honest again, kinda funny to remember. I'll
never trade Buffy for anything. 

"Buffy!" I said loudly, real loud. Almost shouted directly in her ear. 

She stopped in mid word and stared at me wide eyed. I smiled at her, wrapped
my arms around her shoulders and kissed her on the lips, stopping the kiss
though, before she responded too strongly and we both got carried away.

"Overprotection," I breathed in her ear. "Is a very good thing."

END


There is only one thing that can damn me.
That can send me down in a swirling maelstrom of fire and pain.
And it is not the word of Man.
And it is not the lessons and rules of the Church, hypocrites every one.
And it is not the words of God, nor the judgements of Angels.
And it not a fair tribunal of my 'peers' that can find me guilty of crimes
immortal.
No. 
I can only be accused, judged and damned by my own Soul.
And I would never be so betrayed.

Mad-Hamlet