Re: OT: Pit And Pendulum

["thoth" <thoth183@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

To the Psychologically Challenged Dane,

I was going to save my belated feedback to your stories for last, but, since you indicate that your net access will be limited in the immediate future, I'll get it in now before you can get away....uh... I mean before it willbe inconvenient for you to read it. heh.

When I read 'Janus', it was with some trepidation. What with your earlier threats ("darkity dark dark", remember that?), I expected something really nasty to happen to one or both of our ladies right off the bat. Instead, I was presented, in part 1, with what I consider to be the most realistic portrayal of the primal Slayer in action I have ever read: a chilling description, from Willow's point of view, of the Slayer as pure predator, a killer (not a murderer, there is a difference) without remorse or compassion, usingevery part of itself as a weapon with no regard for the "ick" factor that higher intelligence would impose. 

Willow's thoughts while she watches Buffy are revealing, as well. The Slayer's attack on the vamp is grotesque at best, horrific at worst, yet Willow is neither disgusted nor horrified. Instead she is fascinated, unable and unwilling to look away. I was reminded of those nature documentaries about big cats. You know, the ones where the lioness chases down some gazelle or other cute little Bambi-like critter and takes it down in a flurry of dust and thrashing limbs. Part of you goes "awww, that's awful, how sad", but there's that little bit of you, denied, ignored, but still there, tucked deep in the back of your mind, that thrills at the kill. Civilization is a very thin veneer. Especially when the predator kills something that wants to kill *you*.   

And if that wasn't enough, toss in Buffy's agonized realization that Willowhas seen her at what she considers her absolute worst.

Not human.

Not *thinking*.

An animal, a beast, covered in the blood of her prey, howling her triumph at the stars. Even in her primitive state of mind she *knows* that this cannot possibly be acceptable behavior in the eyes of her dearest friend. The vamps have the excuse of being evil. In her mind she has none (there's that pesky civilization thingy again). No wonder she ran.

In part 2, the bone deep affirmation of Willow's love for her Buffy is shown in her impassioned monologue that begins with a shouted "LIAR!", and endswith a whispered "I don't care". Buffy has always attempted to keep the Slayer separate from the rest of her life, mostly out of an unconscious fearthat her friends and family would never tolerate what she truly is. Willowknows that Buffy *is* the Slayer. That they are not different beings, but rather parts of the whole. She loves Buffy, warts and all, period. And now Buffy knows this as well.

Dark fic? Yeah, ok, sort of. Seeing the Slayer at her stripped down, bare bones, sharp-stick-in-the-eye nastiest was definitely on the disturbing side, but it gave me a happy anyway.

I should have known better.

'In the Heart' shows up. Oooo, goody. More WAFFies. Ok, WAFFies separated by long periods of intense angst, but this *is* a Mad-Hamlet fic, after all.Wow. Double Wow. I'm on a roll here. Damn, can't wait for part three.

I *really* should have known better.

'Eros' sneaks into my inbox. Alright, says I, after 'Janus' there's gonna be some hot "you really love me?" sweaty lovin'. Then I read the warning intro. 

Shit. He's gonna do it again.

Oh yeah, here we go, Buffy in full-blown guilt mode, pushing everybody away"for their own good", yeah, yeah, denial, denial, angsty as all get out. But the writing is so damn good I can't stop. It gets worse. Willow's royally pissed and I can't blame her a bit. By this time I want to slap Buffy silly with the nearest blunt object. You'd think the woman would get a clue, but noooo, she just walks right into it and blows the best thing in her life. Just...like...that <snap>. I couldn't even be angry that Willow kicked her out. Oh well, as the story ends at least there's a chance that they'll get back together. 

Hunh. Big empty space. Where's the 'end' or 'fin' or whatever? Scroll down.What's this?

Oh...you...bastard.

For the first time since I got online, I was seriously considering sending a flame. Not a 'this sucks' or 'how could you do this!!!', ohhh, no. I'm gonna tear you a new one. I'm gonna beat you to death with a virtual shovel.I'm...I'm...well I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but it'll be ugly. I wasclose, and I mean *this* <finger and thumb about 3 mm apart> close. A fewthings stopped me. First, my momma raised me better. Second, I read this thing *before* I went to work and I didn't have time to compose something really nasty. So I went to the job and took out my frustrations on some helpless subflooring that had to go down. <chuckle> Boy is that sucker ever nailed down tight. Just as well I work alone 'cause I would *not* have been good company. By the time I got home, I'd settled down somewhat, still seriously bummed, but I'd had time to think. From your earlier stories and from getting to know you through the list, I figured out that you weren't going toleave it like this. You just don't *do* that kind of thing. Somehow you always *fix it*. So I waited.

Good thing I did.

'Terminus' rolls in. Oh yeah, let's see how the silverback gets out of *this* one. I read that story three times, one right after the other, just to make sure I got every word, phrase, description locked down tight in my head. 

Brilliant.

Just freaking perfect.

You know what, in my mind, stands out the most? The bit about the copper sphere the size of a planet and the feather as a measure of eternity. It putsthe unimaginable in terms that can be imagined and understood. Well...sortof. That, my friend, is a very rare thing. Kind of like saying "infinity" and knowing what it means as solidly as saying "two" and knowing what *that* means. I don't know where you get your ideas from, but please god, I wanna take a short vacation there. Like maybe a year. Or two.

On second thought, maybe not. Just remembered 'Ashes'. Maybe I'll just get the brochure. Probably safer that way.
  
In any case, I'm really snarked that we won't be hearing from you as often as we used to. Hopefully, someone will open a new Internet Cafe close to wherever it is you're at, or maybe Eastern Europe will catch up with the Westas far as broadband is concerned. Hey, it could happen. If not, well, as long as you've got a telephone and a modem you're not totally off the grid. So rather than saying 'so long, farewell', let's leave it at 'have a nice vacation, see you when you get back'.

By the way, I expect you to send us pictures when your little girl comes into the world. That is gonna be so cool.

One more thing.

Teletubbies?

Made out of cheese??

That's just....wrong. Ick.

thoth

AIM thoth183