Fic: Road Trip (8/?)

[inell@xxxxxxx]

Title: Road Trip
Author: Inell
Email: Inell@xxxxxxx
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: My site, Kiss or Kill, 
http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill. Anyone that has permission, take. 
Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Pairing: Willow/Buffy
To those who haven't forgotten me, thanks


ROAD TRIP (8/?)


"Are you asleep?" 


Buffy didn't reply, instead continuing to stare at the wall concealed by the 
darkness of the room. She felt the bed move as Willow shifted, again. 
Couldn't the girl be still? It was bad enough dealing with the realization 
that she was in serious lust with her best friend. Now she was stuck sharing 
a bed with said best friend while trying to deal with these new emotions. The 
bed itself was terrible. It was sagging in the middle and not as big as it 
had first looked. She kept rolling to the middle even as she tried to balance 
herself on the edge. Willow's constant moving didn't help her maintain her 
position or her grip on sanity.


Willow sighed as she was greeted by silence. She couldn't sleep. This wasn't 
anything new. She rarely slept for more than two to three hours at home, 
usually spending her time reading or slaying or surfing the web. At the dorm, 
it hadn't really been an issue. Buffy was out most nights slaying until the 
early hours of the morning, coming in right when Willow was finally feeling 
tired. Or, more common the last half of their college experience, Buffy 
wouldn't come home at all, instead staying with Riley. She'd never really had 
to deal with laying in the dark trying to sleep when she wasn't tired. She 
wished now that she hadn't suggested stopping, knowing she could very well 
have driven a couple more hours at least. 


Adding to her insomnia was the fact that she was laying beside Buffy. This 
wasn't anything new, really. They had often shared a bed during sleepovers in 
high school. This was different, though. She couldn't explain why, but 
something was different. It might be the fact that she had spent the last two 
hours thinking about her best friend taking a shower, about joining Buffy in 
the shower, about things that best friends should not be thinking about. Even 
a cold shower hadn't helped, doing nothing to slow the fire burning in her 
belly. The next night, she would insist on two beds. Unfortunately, tonight's 
hotel had only had queen size beds available. At the time, she hadn't figured 
it would be a problem. Now, every time that she moved, her legs would brush 
against Buffy. Even laying still, she could feel the heat her friend was 
giving off. It was really not a good time to suddenly realize that she was 
attracted to the slayer. Of course, no time was really a good time. Buffy 
wasn't interested in her in that way, so it was entirely pointless to even 
dwell on the feelings she was experiencing. It was all just so damn 
confusing. Why did things like this always happen to her? First her crush on 
Xander for all those years, now this whatever it was towards Buffy. 


She'd always loved Buffy, from the first time they had met. They were best 
friends. In all those years, she'd never thought it was anything except 
friendship. Had these feelings always been there and she'd just never 
accepted them or maybe she'd ignored them, knowing it was pointless to dream 
such an impossible dream. That couldn't really be right, though, could it? 
She'd never even realized she liked girls until college, until Tara. She just 
didn't understand it. In some ways, she was scared of these feelings, of the 
depth of the attraction and the love she felt for her best friend. In another 
way, it excited her, made her curious, made her wonder what if. 


Willow turned her head to look at Buffy, her eyes moving down the slayer's 
back as she sighed again. She was no more tired than she had been before her 
big mental analysis. She almost missed Sunnydale, knowing that if she were 
back home, she might still be in the dark concerning the exact nature of her 
feelings for Buffy. If anything, she'd at least probably be doing a patrol at 
this hour instead of laying in the dark trying to sleep. She decided to try 
one last time to see if Buffy might also be awake, in case her friend hadn't 
heard her the first time. She whispered, "Buffy, are you awake?"