The Slayer And The Witch Chapter 7/? - Watcher, Slayer, Angel

["Stefan Akerblom" <nagarek62@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hi again.

After a long hot sleepless night of proof reading, here's Chapter 7, 
typo's and mistakes are copyrighted by ME!

Stef.

The Slayer And The Witch - Stefan Akerblom - nagarek - nagarek62@xxxxxxxxxxx
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Critique:	Yes please, but no flames (I'm flammable)
Warning:	Building to NC-17, f/f relations, possibly f/f/m
Characters:	Willow, Buffy, Xander, Anya, Giles, Angel, Dawn, Spike, Wes,
Cordy, Oz (?), nurse Becky Chapel, nurse Erin Lonsdale,
Main Pairing/s:	Willow & Buffy, maybe Giles/Becky/Erin - who wants to see
that? :o) (not sure yet about Anya/Xander ... maybe) time will
reveal all!
Disclaimer:	Joss Whedon owns all in the Buffy Universe, I have merely played
and embellished, not claimed any rights, apart from a couple of
nice nursies!
Brief: Buffy and Willow have both recently lost their partners, Willow is
hospitalised and Buffy is almost paralysed with guilt over it, both
Willow and Buffy realise how much they really mean to each other,
they embark on a voyage of discovery and figuring out a way to
break their new relationship to their friends while keeping the
minions of the hellmouth from taking over. Meanwhile solutions
present themselves which can have far reaching effects on Buffy
and Willow's future.

Many thanks go to:
Crys Loch (pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx) for answering my email, and
a lot of inspiration and much encouragement (you said just the right
things to make me think while I channeled Willow),
Dan Spector (danspector@xxxxxxxxx) for some much needed help
with authenticity,
Casandra for answering some silly questions
Thanks also to all the other great people on BuffyWantsWillow, you
make this worth so much to me,
and to Cairo (played at ear-splitting volume) for setting the mood.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Slayer And The Witch - Stefan Akerblom - nagarek - nagarek62@xxxxxxxxxxx
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Critique:	Yes please, but no flames (I'm flammable)
Warning:	Building to NC-17, f/f relations, possibly f/f/m
Characters:	Willow, Buffy, Xander, Anya, Giles, Angel, Dawn, Spike, Wes,
Cordy, Oz (?), nurse Becky Chapel, nurse Erin Lonsdale,
Main Pairing/s:	Willow & Buffy, maybe Giles/Becky/Erin - who wants to see
that? :o) (not sure yet about Anya/Xander ... maybe) time will
reveal all!
Disclaimer:	Joss Whedon owns all in the Buffy Universe, I have merely played
and embellished, not claimed any rights, apart from a couple of
nice nursies!
Brief: Buffy and Willow have both recently lost their partners, Willow is
hospitalised and Buffy is almost paralysed with guilt over it, both
Willow and Buffy realise how much they really mean to each other,
they embark on a voyage of discovery and figuring out a way to
break their new relationship to their friends while keeping the
minions of the hellmouth from taking over. Meanwhile solutions
present themselves which can have far reaching effects on Buffy
and Willow's future.

Many thanks go to:
Crys Loch (pagansoul@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx) for answering my email, and
a lot of inspiration and much encouragement (you said just the right
things to make me think while I channeled Willow),
Dan Spector (danspector@xxxxxxxxx) for some much needed help
with authenticity,
Casandra for answering some silly questions
Thanks also to all the other great people on BuffyWantsWillow, you
make this worth so much to me,
and to Cairo (played at ear-splitting volume) for setting the mood.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 7 - Watcher, Slayer, Angel
--------------------------------------------

"Damn, that was Giles. He's got something cooking back at the shop, he 
asked me if I could meet him there in the morning ..." Buffy checked the 
clock on the wall "... er ... later ... this ... morning." Buffy looked 
annoyed. Willow nodded in understanding.

"Well the hellmouth doesn't shut up shop just cos I'm laid up for some 
involuntary facial reconstruction. Did he say what was going on?" Buffy 
shook her head and began pulling on her boots.

"Nope, Captain Tweed just said it was important and could I make it before 
10am. It'd better be real important, I think I'm entitled to some time off, 
he's just spent a whole week out of town and the world hasn't fallen apart 
because of it." Willow spoke matter of factly.

"No because the spawn of the hell mouth aren't afraid of the Watcher, but 
they are afraid of you. Don't worry about it, I'll be OK, I'm not going 
anywhere, I can just start reading good old whatsisname's transcripts that 
Giles left me, and laugh in my best old long dead Germanic accent. When do 
you think you'll be back?"

"Not sure, last night Giles said that he would be coming here around 
lunchtime, so I suppose I'll be in sometime around then too." Willow nodded 
and put on a brave face, smiling for Buffy.

"Well then, that'll give me something nice to look forward to." Buffy stood 
up and straightened her sleep rumpled clothes. She looked over, and noticed 
Willow's creased brow, she didn't want Buffy to leave. She walked up to the 
bed and reached out to touch Willow's shoulder. Willow sat up straight, and 
in spite of the obvious pain from the awkward angle, held out both her arms 
and looked expectantly at Buffy. Buffy leaned forward and very gently 
pressed her body into an embracing hug, placing one hand on the back of 
Willow's neck and the other on her back, chiding her own inappropriate 
libido for kicking in and being excited that her hand could feel through the 
nightie that Willow wasn't wearing a bra. She felt Willow's slim body 
pressing, not for the first time feeling a thrill at the soft intrusion of 
Willow's breasts pressing into her own through the thin material of her 
shirt, but this time knowing the sensual feelings were mutual. She rested 
her head lightly on Willow's shoulder and stroked her hand lovingly along 
Willow's spine, sighing with a deep feeling of satisfaction, knowing at last 
she had that which she had wanted for such a very long time. And knowing 
Willow felt the same way made the emotion even more acute and poignant. 
After many heartbeats of time, Buffy drew back slightly until she faced 
Willow, then again leaned forward and pressed her mouth tenderly to Willow's 
lips. Willow responded in kind, her tongue reaching out and delving wetly 
into Buffy's, raking across the Slayer's lips and teeth to firmly push it's 
warm probing wetness into Buffy's tongue, which responded enthusiastically, 
entwined, silken, liquid, and so very hot. Both girls were breathing hard 
when they eventually broke the contact and Willow added many small, quick, 
tender kisses to Buffy's cheek, her breath hot and hurried in Buffy's ear. 
Buffy didn't want to leave, and silently cursed Giles for asking her to. But 
she knew the old story, it wasn't his fault, she had a job to do and evil 
never sleeps. She pulled back, smiled and looked deeply into Willow's eyes.

I'll be back just as soon as I can. But I might go home first and clean up 
a little, I'm starting to develop hospital hair." Her voice grew husky with 
emotion. "I love you Willow." Willow sighed and gazed back at Buffy, 
contentment written on her placid features.

"I love you so much Buffy. Please hurry back to me." Buffy nodded, stood 
back up and squared her shoulders, sighed in resignation, and walked 
backwards toward the door, not wanting to take her eyes off the red-head. 
But eventually she reached the door, waved silently to Willow while trying 
to hide her disappointment behind a wan smile, grabbed the door handle and 
stepped out.

-------------------------------

"So what's the dire that you couldn't tell me on the phone?" Buffy threw 
her black leather jacket over the back of one of the kitchen chairs, trying 
to hide her annoyance, and walked over to the kettle, turning it on after 
refilling it with water.

"Oh ... hello Buffy. Uh ... I believe there's a new demon in town, I heard 
from Spike last night and he told me about ..." Giles turned the large book 
he had been reading towards Buffy and prodded the illustration on the page. 
"... this creature." He got up and walked into the kitchen with his cup, 
rinsing it out and preparing it for a fresh cup of tea. "This is Thassoq, an 
atypically vile member of his clan, renowned for his sadistic tendencies. 
He's a Morgal demon, and a particularly vicious one, from all accounts. My 
research shows he's been responsible for a great deal of suffering through 
the centuries. Demons normally only come out only on special occasions, 
they're not usually anywhere without a reason, and this time's no different. 
Do ... do you feel up to some patrolling tonight?" Buffy glanced with 
disinterest at the page, then looked up at Giles with a pained expression.

"Giles! Willow's lying in Mercy Hospital looking like a broken toy! Can't 
we just relax for a little while and ..." Giles removed his glasses and 
pulled out a white linen handkerchief from his pocket, polishing his glasses 
vigorously. Buffy wondered that there was any glass left in the frames, he 
should have polished right through the lenses by now.

"Buffy, I am aware that Willow is in hospital, but that doesn't seem to 
make any difference to the hell mouth, it keeps spewing out it's usual 
filth. And your job as the sl..." Buffy threw up her hands in exasperation 
and interrupted him.

"OK enough already! Jeeze ... I know the drill! But I'm not spending all 
night chasing this ... Sock thing. Anyway why doesn't Spike go after it, if 
he's such a font of information much? Willow needs me, right now she's 
feeling very hurt and vulnerable, and I put her in there. Giles, please ... 
I feel responsible. I know it's probably not really my fault ... 
technically, but I can't shake this feeling off. And she needs me, and ... 
and I need her too ... to ... I need to be there ... for her." As the water 
began making boiling noises, Buffy busied herself making her coffee and tea 
for Giles, then walked over to lean against the kitchen table while she 
waited for the kettle to finish. "Anyway, what's the big? Just another 
stupid demon in my books. They're all the same, fishy breath, big words of 
evil, lot's of flunkies that need killing, nothing much different, just 
another regular day here in Sunnydale. If you ask me I bet it's just 
something petty and ..."

"Petty it may be, in words, but ... but not in intent. My meeting with 
Sarah MacGuiness was a little more than just a meeting with a legendary 
Watcher. I had been in correspondence with her and with the Council. In 
spite of being fired by them, I still have a great many contacts inside ... 
part of my ... Grapevine, as it were. The ... the main reason for my trip 
there was to find out about a certain emblem, an amulet that disappeared 
some time ago. And it looks as if Thassoq has gotten wind of it's 
whereabouts, it seems to be here somewhere, in Sunnydale. And wherever 
Thassoq goes, carnage isn't too far behind. Spike thought it might be 
somewhere in the Van Dien crypt out in Rosemont Gardens. Apparently they 
were the last known family to have possession of the amulet. Old Wulfgar Van 
Dien was supposedly buried with the amulet. Or so the story goes." The 
kettle clicked off and the sound of the boiling water receded, Giles walked 
over and pushed in front of Buffy as she began walking back to the kitchen. 
He poured some water into the teapot, and some into Buffy's coffee mug.

"Oh ... ookayyy ... so you want me to ... what, exactly? Kick some demon 
booty and reclaim the amulet?" Buffy walked back to lean against the table. 
Giles turned around, looked at Buffy nervously, and turned back to the 
kettle and cups.

"Well Thassoq must be stopped from actually getting his hands on the amulet 
..."

"Which does ... what, exactly?" Giles fiddled distractedly with the teapot 
and coffee mug as the beverages brewed, went to the fridge and got milk for 
the coffee, handed the finished cup to Buffy, and sipped cautiously from his 
own scalding cup.

"The amulet? It ... it's an old symbol of a certain people from the Balkan 
area of Rumania known as Szredne Kolinsk, it's an emblem ... protecting them 
from a ... a great evil ... and it's been lost to them for a long time now. 
With the amulet in his power, Thassoq could call upon this evil and use it 
to cause worldwide havoc ..."

"And, as usual it's the Scoobies saving the world from oblivion ... yet 
again! God Giles, there has to be someone else who can help us do this, 
there's only so much of me, especially after ... you know ... dying ... a 
... and coming back, and I'm feeling spread real thin these days, 
transparently thin. I really need a break, And right now Willow needs me."

"Yes, I am concerned that she has become extremely ... well ... dependent 
on you, I ... I noticed she has become somewhat ... more attached since Tara 
left her. I saw in the hospital just how she was behaving, If this keeps on, 
she will become a liability to you in the fight ..." Buffy's temper flared 
up and she slammed the cup down on the table with a sharp bang, Giles 
visibly jumped.

"GILES! This is Willow we're talking about, Willow is NOT a liability, 
Willow is first of all our friend and second, a valuable member of our 
group, she has turned the tide in our favour on more occasions than I can 
remember, and if you had half a brain ... ohhh ... dammit ... demons and 
vampires are the liabilities! " She shook her head and stood up to pace the 
floor. "God ... I have to have some time off soon, I have almost nothing 
left to give, soon there won't be anything left of me, you might as well 
just re-assemble that damned robot you made of me and turn me into a hat 
stand. The bot would be more useful. I'm all alone ... I ... I mean I have 
you guys but I'm alone ..." suddenly Buffy saw the visage in her mind of 
Willow, the smile and the halo of glorious red hair, and she knew she wasn't 
alone any more. She stopped herself suddenly, sat down, sighed deeply and 
"... I ... ah ... uh ... OK, never mind. I ... what do you need me to do?" 
She looked over to Giles, who had stopped in mid-sip at her outburst, but 
was now smiling softly.

"Well, that's part of my grand plan. You see ... these people in the 
Balkans were ... are ... Romany ... Gypsies ... the vestigial local remains 
of the clan that Jenny Calender was a member of ..." Buffy's eyes studied 
Giles' face. Then widened.

"Oh ... NO Giles, you couldn't ... you wouldn't? You're not going to drag 
Jenny back from heaven too, are you? You couldn't be that cruel, not after 
everything I've told ..." Buffy trailed off after Giles' eyes widened when 
he saw that Buffy had the wrong idea, then lifted a hand in dismissal.

"Dear lord no Buffy. I would never do that to her, no matter how much I 
miss her ... and I do ... dreadfully, sometimes more than I can honestly 
say. I still feel a great deal of guilt over what happened to her. But I 
know now, at last she's in a better place than here, so I can deal with it 
and hope that in some future time, she and I will meet again. Anyway, I was 
the harshest critic of what Willow did to you, and in spite of being happier 
to have you back than you will ever understand, I would have never allowed 
her to recall you, if I had known what she was up to." Again Giles pulled 
out the handkerchief, but this time pulled his glasses away from his face 
and wiped his eyes instead, pocketed the handkerchief, and sighing deeply 
and clearing his throat, put his glasses back on and continued speaking. 
"However, this does not stop one who is cognizant of the powers of the 
afterlife to speak with the departed. And ... and I asked Sarah to contact 
Jenny on my behalf. We spoke briefly."

"Ohh ... well that's ... pretty cool, how is she? She uh ... wasn't upset 
or anything at being interrupted ... you know, harp lessons or something?" 
Giles smiled at the idea.

"She is ... very well and happy. And was very glad to hear from me. She 
assured me she didn't think any of what happened was my fault, but that 
doesn't really let me release ... she ... she said she would wait ...and ... 
" Giles smiled wistfully, gazing off into the distance, "... she told me she 
loved me still." Then his eyes returned to look at Buffy. "She ... she gave 
me the information I needed." He sipped the tea. "The amulet is known as 
Vagrash Umertvlenyi Zsabostoi Angelus ..." Buffy stared at him wide eyed. 
"... which translates out to roughly 'The talisman that is the bringer of 
the dead demon Angelus'. Quite a mouthful if you ask me, they go in for 
colourful metaphor."

"Angelus ... does this have anything to do with Angel?" Buffy picked up the 
cup, looked at it and put it down on the edge of the table again, her hands 
unsteady as she sat down.

"I'm afraid it does ... in more ways than one. This is ... very complex and 
..."

"Complex, how? Get the amulet off The Sock, kill him, destroy it, simple! 
Nobody's going to bring Angelus back if I have anything to say about it!" 
Giles looked as if he was searching for the right words.

"Yes well it's not that simple really ... and I feel we need to consult 
with Angel about this, can you get in contact with him? Or ... or shall I?" 
Buffy looked pensive, their last contacts had not always been happy ones, 
this was likely to be much the same, but she felt it her right to contact 
him, she needed release, this was her way of purging her feelings. The image 
of Willow sprang unbidden to her mind's eye, and her heart swelled with joy, 
she had her love now, and this time it would be right. Angel was forever out 
of reach, his immortality would never allow them to have a happy 
relationship. At least with Willow, she could stay and grow older and wiser 
and they could share moisturiser to keep the wrinkles of time at bay.

"I'll contact him, after all I haven't talked to him since after I came 
back ..." She straightened in resolve, her eyes locked onto Giles. "Any 
special instructions?" Giles had a gleam in his eyes and a smile of 
satisfaction on his lips. Buffy picked up the cup again and sipped.

"Well, I'm not finished ... the best part of this is coming. The amulet is 
actually what binds Angel's soul to his immortal demon body, there is 
powerful magic involved which is part of the amulet's basis. Destroying the 
amulet carelessly is as dangerous as leaving it in the hands of Thassoq, you 
would release his soul from it's confines and the consequence would be ..."

"Oh ... OK, gotcha. So ... we give it to Angel and let him bury it 
somewhere ... deep, where nobody else could ever get to it!" Buffy's mind 
found the obvious answer.

"Yes ... that ... that's one solution ... or ... Jenny gave me another ..." 
he looked at Buffy and smiled again. "The spells binding Angel's soul can be 
bypassed, while destroying or banishing the demon part of him that makes him 
Angelus." The hackles on Buffy's neck started to rise. "The Romany have 
relented after the many times Angel has intervened, sacrificing himself and 
fighting on their behalf in spite of the way they feel about him, in fact, 
Jenny told me that he almost died, if it hadn't been for the intervention of 
... he ... well ... uh ... little did I know he has been traveling 
internationally to areas of Europe, including Szredne Kolinsk. The gypsies 
feel a certain obligation to him now, in spite of the penance forced upon 
him by his actions in the past ... they have stated that if we were to find 
the amulet, we have their permission to perform the rituals!"

"What rituals???" Buffy could feel her heart constricting, spasms of panic 
rising along her spine, her palms became clammy, her breathing quickening as 
she guessed at what Giles was about to tell her. Giles smiled broadly, 
oblivious to Buffy's tumbling emotions.

"This is why he must be involved and have his say on the matter. The 
correct rituals and the destruction of the amulet will remove the demon 
Angelus while bypassing the soul binding spells. Angel will essentially 
become a normal man again, the demon vampire in him will die. Of course, 
he'll be much stronger than a normal human being you understand, but no 
longer immortal. Buffy, you and he can finally have the life you have been 
denied up to now!"

--------------------------------------

Giles looked puzzled at Buffy's sudden silent departure. Not a word, not a 
gesture, even as he called out to her, she'd just put down her half finished 
coffee and walked out the door of the shop, without as much as a look 
backward. What was the matter with the girl? She'd even left her jacket 
behind, Giles remembered it was a jacket that Angel had given her a long 
time ago, when they first began getting to know each other, before they had 
begun their relationship. Angel had confronted her in The Bronze nightclub, 
he'd noticed Buffy was cold, and had given her his jacket. This was before 
anybody knew that Angel was a vampire. Giles quickly put down his cup of 
tea, grabbed her jacket and raced after her out onto the street, the door's 
brass bell ringing harshly in his ear as he sprinted through the doorway. He 
called out as he ran.

"Buffy ... BUFFY!" The Slayer eventually stopped in her tracks and stood 
stock still, staring blankly at the ground. Giles ran up and walked around 
in front of her. "Is everything OK, what's wrong?" he searched her face for 
any telltales but saw only confusion and a look of dread. Buffy appeared to 
be close to tears and refused to look into his eyes. "Buffy ... please tell 
me what the matter is? I thought you'd be ecstatic at this news. We had no 
idea the spells were actually tied to the amulet, this was a secret the 
gypsies kept from everyone to make sure that Angelus would serve his penance 
forever and not be released if someone performed the correct rituals. Now 
because of his help to them, they will allow him his life back pretty much 
on his own terms. This is the salvation he's been looking for ever since he 
was cursed by them, if we can just find the amulet first. I thought you'd 
be excited." He stood there and looked around when Buffy said nothing, 
exasperation creeping into his voice. "I will even allow Willow to perform 
the spells and incantations to release the amulet's power, she is by far the 
most powerful witch we know, and will have the best chance for success. I 
have even taken it on myself to contact Tara to help with the rituals." 
Buffy's eyes flew up to look at Giles but he was distractedly looking around 
"She seemed a bit reluctant at first but has agreed, she will be arriving 
shortly, but she would only agree to this as long as it's under all our 
constant supervision and Willow is monitored closely. Maybe this can bring 
Tara back for Willow, you know that would be just the thing to help the poor 
girl to heal faster and get her mind back on track. Tara was heartbroken 
when I told her about Willow's accident, she said she would pack some 
clothing and come over at once, she is going to come with us to the 
hospital. Who knows, this might be the best thing that's happened for all 
concerned, I can see many great benefits coming out of this situation ..." 
Giles finally looked down and noticed that Buffy was staring straight at him 
and was crying openly. "Oh Buffy .. whatever is the matter?"

Buffy could feel her fragile world, so recently perfect and wonderful, 
crumbling with every word the Watcher uttered. Speechless and unable to say 
what her heart was trying desperately to scream out, she just stood and 
gasped as everything in her life began disintegrating around her. Unable to 
cope with it all, she took off across the street at an angle away from 
Giles, her quick footsteps beating a cadence on the pavement that Giles had 
no chance keeping up with. The Slayer at full speed was as quick as a 
galloping horse, and Buffy showed no signs of stopping. Completely 
flabbergasted, Giles simply stood and stared after Buffy as he watched her 
disappear around a street corner. Silently he shook his head in total 
non-comprehension, turned and walked back to the shop and closed the door 
behind him, flipping the door sign to Closed.

-------------------------------

Buffy found herself wandering the streets some time after running away from 
Giles, and for the first time since she'd fled, noticed her surroundings. 
She'd run all the way across town to the Mercy Hospital. It must have taken 
her nearly half an hour by her reckoning but she had no recollection of 
doing it. She had run blindly and on auto pilot the whole time, her lungs 
burning painfully from the effort, wrestling with her emotions and trying to 
come to grips with what Giles had so blithely proposed. She had no idea of 
the time so she simply ran into the hospital and up the stairs to the ward 
where Willow's room was. Remotely her mind registered the nurse on duty and 
filed the information, that might be nurse Erin. She kept running until she 
stood outside Willow's room. There, she stopped, composed herself, got her 
breath under control since the run, and pushed the door open. To her 
surprise, Willow wasn't in the room. She looked around panicky, violently 
pulled open the door to the adjoining bathroom and saw no Willow. She threw 
herself at the door out of the room and wrenching it open, flew towards the 
counter where the nurse stood. The woman looked up when she saw Buffy flying 
towards her at full tilt.

"Hey ... slow down, this is a hospital, not a running oval." Buffy skidded 
to a halt and walked over more slowly.

"Sorry, you're ... not nurse ... Lonsdale as I can see by your name tag, 
nurse Maclean. Uh ... Willow Rosenberg, room 402, do you know where she is?"

"And you are ...?" the older woman looked at Buffy with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry ... Buffy ... I'm Buffy Summers." The older nurse's brow cleared.

"Ah ... yes, nurse Lonsdale's taken Miss Rosenberg out into the courtyard 
for a wheelchair stroll, if I'm not mistaken they went up to the pond." 
Buffy's disappointment at not being the one to wheel her out was quashed by 
her need to find and talk to Willow.

"Uh ... thanks!" and with that, she was off at a brisk walk to the stairs, 
which she took four and five at a time until she reached the bottom.

-------------------------------

She found Willow sitting under the tree as she'd said she would take her 
out and do. Nurse Erin was nowhere to be seen for the moment but Willow sat 
and read from the little book Giles had given her the night before. Buffy 
strode up to her, heart pounding painfully at what she was about to tell 
Willow, but she had to talk to her, she had to know if she could help her, 
if she'd have any idea what they should do. Willow looked up and squinted 
into the sunlight, but when Buffy's back blocked the light and she could see 
the Slayer, Willow's face brightened, her broad smile shone like a beacon. 
But Buffy had on a look of utter dismay, so much so that Willow's smile 
dropped away suddenly.

"Hey Buff, what's the matter, you look sad." Buffy knelt down and she 
reached out to hug the girl in the chair. Willow squeezed as tightly as she 
was able to, showing she was glad to see Buffy. "You're also earlier than I 
thought, and ... you haven't been home huh ... what DID Giles say to you?" 
Buffy leaned back, her eyes downcast and her voice low and trembling, she 
spoke softly.

"You know, the strangest things seem to happen to me, just because I'm the 
Slayer. First I lose him, now I can have him back, and she can come back to 
you and ... and ... Oh god ... Will, I ... I'm so confused." Buffy's lip was 
trembling and Willow knew she was only moments away from bursting into 
tears. Willow held Buffy at arms length and inclined her head, to get 
Buffy's attention. Buffy looked up and saw Willow's stern face.

"OK, fess up to red top ... what did Giles say to you to make you this 
sad?"

--------------------------------

"What am I to do Willow? What can we do?" Buffy was still kneeling after 
telling Willow everything that had transpired. Her face was already slick 
with tears as the whole story came tumbling out in a torrent of words.

"Oh god Buffy ... what CAN we do? I know what I want to do, but it's not 
right. If there's even a slim hope, Angel has to be given the chance to be 
human again, none of us has the right to decide what is right for him. If I 
learned anything from the breakup with Tara, it was that one person in any 
relationship has no right to decide for the other person what is right and 
wrong. If a relationship is to work then it's a joint effort, something both 
people have to agree on, not one person deciding for them both. That's why 
Tara left me, I was stupid and wanted to fix everything with magic and took 
it on myself to decide what was best for us both. And she was right, even 
though it hurt so much. I knew I had done the wrong thing and I had to let 
her go. I could have used my magic to hold on to her, to make her forget ... 
but that's what started the whole thing going wrong, and it wouldn't be the 
same. Love is something freely given, not something you can take from 
someone. Maybe one day Tara might forgive me, but it has to be her choice to 
do, not for me to ask." Willow's eyes were misty and she was obviously 
having trouble breathing, her system hyper ventilating. "Meanwhile I have to 
learn from my mistakes. You have to tell Angel, it's the right thing to do. 
But if Giles wants me to do this spell he's got another thing coming. Magic 
ruined my life with Tara, I have no intentions of magic ever ruining another 
thing in my life ever again. That's MY choice, and much as I like Angel, I 
won't do it. Tara can do it, she's almost as capable of performing the magic 
as I am, she just used to defer to me because I was the one who was the 
dominant partner."

"Giles said it should be you because you're the most powerful witch we know 
..." Willow waved her hand in dismissal.

"He said that because of how I've been, because he thinks I've been so 
depressed that doing this with Tara's permission would re-unite us. Tara can 
do the magic, trust me, she's a powerful wicca, almost as strong as me, and 
plenty strong enough for the magic Giles has in mind. But Giles doesn't know 
Tara, she wouldn't come back to me, she feels I betrayed her, and ... and I 
sort of did ... and she's ... she's partially right even if ... if she ... 
I did ... all I might get from her is her forgiveness, which is all I could 
hope to deserve. She would never come back to me." Willow's eyes cast down 
to her hands, her voice wavering. "I have thought about whether Tara might 
come back, and in a way a part of me deep down wants her back ... but on the 
other side, I couldn't leave her the way she left me, love is also about 
forgiveness, the willingness to forgive the mistakes of the one you love. 
People aren't perfect, they make mistakes, that's what makes us human. My so 
called betrayal of her was done with good intentions, out of love. But she 
didn't want to see that, all she saw was the harm I had caused, and ... and 
I don't exactly blame her, I screwed her and me up badly, a ... and I ripped 
you out of heaven w ... which was a mega biggie mistake I admit ... but I 
did it out of love, I didn't know you had gone to heaven. OK, I didn't go in 
search of a medium to ask you how your bowling average was going up there, 
but I ... I thought you had been trapped in some dark demon hell hole to be 
tortured and tormented for all eternity and because I love you so much I 
couldn't bear you being stuck that way and me not doing anything to help 
..." Willow choked back the sobs, she looked with tear filled eyes into 
Buffy's red rimmed ones. "But neither do I think I would have done what Tara 
did to me in the same place. I would have listened and given her another 
chance. I know you can give people too many chances, but she barely gave me 
any. Yeah I did wrong, but I was willing to learn ... she wasn't willing to 
wait for me to learn. she just ..." Willow sniffed and bringing a tissue out 
of her sleeve, blew her nose gingerly, the exertion putting pressure on her 
sore ribs. "Tell Angel, but tell him I won't do the spell, let him know 
that's my decision. Tell him Tara can do it. And if Giles gives you a hard 
time about me not doing the spell, just tell him a wicca in a bad mood, even 
one in reform, can be a dangerous enemy, even for a Watcher!" Buffy sighed 
and took Willow's hands in her own. Willow looked at the Slayer, Buffy gave 
her a very faint smile.

"OK, I think this is the point then where we have to explain to everyone 
why we're making these choices, which up until recently everyone would have 
thought went against common knowledge, just so they don't think we're both 
under the influence of the hell mouth or something. Are you OK with telling 
everyone about us?"

"Totally! I want us to be happy Buffy, and for that to happen all our cards 
have to be up on the table. Are you OK with it?" Buffy leaned forward, 
resting her head against Willow's shoulder.

"Completely. I have a feeling I know what is going to happen but I am 
prepared to try to make them all understand. OK, let me make a couple of 
calls, I'll go home afterwards and return later this evening. I'll tell 
everyone to meet us here at say ... 7.30?" Buffy stood up and brushed the 
grass off her knees and squeezed Willow's hand in reassurance. "Don't Worry 
Will, with both of us working on this, everything will work out."

"I know Buffy, I know this will work out ... somehow this has to work. I 
can just feel it in ... some sort of spiritual earth mother wicca way. We're 
going to be OK." Willow took a deep breath and did her best to put on a 
smile and a look of confidence, but Buffy wasn't fooled. She could see the 
look of worry on the witch's face and tears of fright that she might be 
losing Buffy. Again!

to be continued in:

Chapter 8 - Choices and Consequences

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