Re: FIC: Surviving You

["Alex" <pga1ht@xxxxxxxxx>]

I enjoyed this very much! You can really feel Willow's emotions in the writing. It is very nicely done. And I wouldn't add a love scene. I think it stands on it's own.

Thanks for sharing this.
Alex 
~ What if the Hokey Pokey really IS what it's all about?
----- Original Message ----- 
From: angel ruiz 
To: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 
Sent: Thursday, March 14, 2002 10:01 AM
Subject: FIC: Surviving You


DISCLAIMERS: Well, don't own it, joss does. And well this takes place around end of season 5 beginning of season 6 so if you havent seen season 5 finale don't read. I'm not to sure of who has seen what so don;t be mad about the extra sentences :)
Title: Surviving you
Rating: I'm going with PG-13 :) so that means no love scene. ( that is unless you guys give me feedback that says ya do ;)


One last time, do not read if you have not seen the season 5 finale and Bargaining1 and 2.



Surviving You


I love you, and you left, again. For good this time. It was the first day that it happened, the day we met. I'm getting ahead of myself, I think i need to start with explaining that day, at least from my point of view. Your perfectness, it made me wonder, Goddess howit made me wonder. If you would be my friend, hell if you could ever be my friend, but it changed when we spoke. You, your thoughts they made me wonder if you could ever love me. 

I was so stupid giving everythign up, just to be with you. I had everything I needed, I could have had any job, possibly anyone I wanted, but they weren't you. I gave it up, for you, and what did you do? You ignored it. Youlet me suffer while you lived. 

When I finally decided to say something you left. You left me here alone.I can almost say it. Almost. I think the one thing that holds me back fromsaying those three hard words is that you are gone. Since you're gone there is no need to say them. Except they need to be said. So here it is....

The redhead rose up from her position on the floor, clutching the sheet of paper in her hand, fighting to keep her breath under control. This was just a thing she had to say, no reason for her to start hyperventilating. Sherushed into the room, no longer Buffy's, her hand shaking as she opened the door. Willow stood in the middle of the dark room surrounded by her memories of the blonde slayer. The photo of Xander, Buffy, and herself, the first photo they had ever taken together.

"I need this, you owe me this much at least." Willow felt her mind slowly, almost achingly clear itself of her precious memories, the first meetings and all of the photos of their love and friendship. No means for consciousness, or her heart, to make her stop.

"You knew, you had always known, and for that I could never forgive you."A breath. "Never me. Not even as a friend, you closed up. Running off, butyou always made up for it didn't you? A birthday party here or there without demons. A night at the Bronze every other while. Let's not forget about the freakouts. Nope, those are much to fun to forget. The running off to L.A., the freakage over Tara. I forgave you for it all, but I don't think you ever really cared. Maybe that's why you just..." Willow's throat closed up, not letting her speak her next words.

"Dammit! Why can't I say it?!"

The redhead fell to her feet, her exhausted body giving out.  

"Why?! Why can't I?"

Willow jumped up from the floor, taunted by the happy pictures. The redhead knocked it over.

"Why?!" 

Books were sent crashing to the carpeted floor as Willow threw them and whatever else on the table.

"Willow."

The person stood outside the doorway, amazed by the petite redhead's display of emotions. The room was in tattered shambles, clothing covered everything, books all over the floor. In the center of it all there was a crumpled body. Fiery hair streaming in every direction, limbs flailed out to theside.

"Oh god, Will." 

The figure hurried over to the silent form. The girl was crying, whispering 'why?', the restless cadence the loudest sound in the world. The figure leaned down and tried to straighten the tangled red hair.

"You could never hate, only love."

"But you're gone."

"Never." 

Arms haltingly found their way around the witch's form. 

"Could never leave. Not without you."

"Great, I'm hallucinating." Willow struggled to pull free, but the figureheld her tight.

"I... love you." The bareley whispered words had their desired effect.

"Love you to Buffy."

"I came back again, I always do," Willow was holding on for dear life, afraid it would leave her again. "Only for you."

end

hope you enjoyed it :)



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