FIC: A New Day 2/?

[jeepy91@xxxxxxx]

Hey guys, here's part 2. Thanks for the feedback :)

And for those having trouble with the formatting, here's the FF.Net link: 
http://fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=682956&chapter=2

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5 minutes later and she still hasn’t said a word. I’m not sure if that’s a 
good thing or a bad thing. I’ve never known Willow to be so quiet. She’s 
known for her babble, not her pointed silence. I’m beginning to lean towards 
the side of badness now. “Will? Are you ok? I think I broke you or 
something.” Well my attempt at lightening up the mood didn’t make me feel 
any better, so I’m assuming it didn’t put her at any more ease either.

“Huh? Uh no, no breaking, I’m ok, not broken in the least bit. Surprised 
definitely, but not broken.” Willow manages to babble out enough toassure me 
that she indeed is still capable of speech. But that still doesn’t help me 
figure out how bad her reaction to my dirty little secret is going to be.

“Please don’t hate me, I don’t know what I can say or do to keep you from 
hating me, but I’ll do whatever it takes. I don’t know why I did it, I still 
can’t explain it. And I never wanted to tell you, because I was afraid you’d 
hate me.” I’m starting to cry now, tears slowly dripping from my eyes and 
finding their way down my cheeks, leaving solitary wet tracks in their wake.

Willow quickly turns her head around to look at me as I continue to gently 
sob. I’ve managed to curl myself up into a ball in the chair and have buried 
my head into the material of my sweat pants. “Buffy, I could never,NEVER, 
hate you. I don’t want you ever thinking that. And not to bring up a bad 
subject, but you almost killed all of us, granted it wasn’t your fault, but 
if I was going to hate you for something, that would be the more likely 
candidate.” Willow gets up out of her chair and kneels down in front of me. I 
manage to look up at her through watery eyes and see that gentle, loving 
smile that she’s always had. “I’m not gonna say it doesn’t bother me that 
you slept with Spike, because it does. But I would never hate you because of 
it.”

“I’m so sorry Willow, I don’t know why I did it, I really don’t. Can you 
ever forgive me?” I’m acting like I cheated on her or something. I hope she 
doesn’t pick up on that, because then I’m definitely going to be blown out 
of the water.

“Buffy, it’s your life, what you do with it has nothing to do with me. 
There’s nothing that I have to forgive you for, you didn’t do anything to 
me.” She smiles again and takes my hand in her own warm palm and squeezes 
reassuringly. “But I will tell you what I told the Bot last spring..”

“The Bot?” Ok, I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about. I never knew 
that she and the Bot had an encounter. I can’t help feeling a little bit hurt 
again. They apparently had a conversation and she still couldn’t tell it 
wasn’t me.

“Uh yeah, she showed up at Xander’s apartment looking for Spike, and I 
answered the door. We went out on the terrace so we wouldn’t wake everyone 
else up.” Willow’s blushing a little bit, so I imagine she’s thinking about 
the same thing I am, how she couldn’t have known it wasn’t me. “I still 
can’t believe I didn’t know it wasn’t you, I mean Iknew there was something 
wrong with her, I mean besides the obvious, being Spike’s sex slave 
and……..” I turned my head away when she said that. Yep, I managed to turn 
myself into a copy of Spike’s disgusting sex bot. Oh how the mightyhave 
fallen. She must have seen me flinch because she immediately looks 
apologetic. “Oh god Buffy I’m sorry, that came out completely wrong, I just 
meant, well I mean that, well uh….”

“Will, it’s ok. I know what you meant. The thought that I would ever be 
Spike’s sex toy was completely beyond the realm of comprehension. Trust me, 
I’m really well aware of that. It’s one of the reasons I didn’t tell you 
guys. I mean how could I ever sleep with him, he’s an evil, self involved 
creature of the night, what the hell was I thinking!” I’ve always been 
really good at the self incrimination, and this time I actually deserve each 
and every accusation.

“Buffy…”

“No Willow, it’s not your fault, so don’t even think of apologizing. A year 
ago the idea that I would be sleeping with Spike was definitely a dead give 
away that I wasn’t myself. So I can understand that would pique your 
suspicions. Just tell me what you told her, maybe it will make me feel 
better. You tend to have a calming effect on me.” I said the last part barely 
above a whisper, hoping she heard me and still a bit afraid that she in fact 
had. She must have, because she reached up and gently wiped a errant tear off 
my cheek.

“Buffy, I told her that I would be her best friend, your best friend, no 
matter what you did. I told her that I would always be here, and I just 
wanted to help her, you. And then she proceeded to tell me I was recently gay 
which really raised my suspicions even more!” She snorted a bit, and I swear 
it was the cutest sound I’ve ever heard. And I couldn’t help laughing along 
with her. If the Bot was anything it certainly was blunt. It kind of reminded 
me of Anya in that sense. “In any case Buffy, all that stands, I’ll always 
be your best friend, no matter who you’re dating, or who you’re sleeping 
with. My friendship and loyalty is unconditional” If I was ever going to 
doubt anything she’s ever said to me, it would never be that. She’s proven 
time and time again that I can count on her for anything. She’s themost 
loyal person I’ve ever known. Even though Xander has stood at my side with 
her all these years, it’s never been quite the same. He always had a grudge 
against Angel, and didn’t hesitate to voice his opinions. When we found the 
curse to restore Angel’s soul he put up a huge argument against it.Not 
Willow, she went against her lifelong friend to back me up. She was willing 
to risk her life to give me back the man I loved. I don’t think I’ll ever be 
able to repay her for the years she’s stood by me unquestionably.

“Will, I don’t know how to thank you for that. You’ve always been so good to 
me. And what do I do? When you need me I’m off rolling around in crypt dust 
with our resident undead. God, why do you stay with me?” I honestlycan’t 
figure it out. Why would she stay here with me when I’m never therefor her. 
She gives and gives and all I do is take from her, never giving anything back 
in return. How can she put up with me after all this?

“Buff, I think you’re missing something about the unconditional part here. I 
love you, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m willingto do anything I 
have to for you. I won’t lie and say I didn’t miss you whenyou weren’t 
there. I miss you all the time when you aren’t around. But you weregoing 
through things of your own. And you have to come first, not me.” Willow is 
still stroking the tears away. And a part of me never wants to stop crying in 
the hopes that she’ll chase every single drop away with her soft, gentle 
fingertips.

“But it’s not fair to you, Will. You needed me, for once I could help you, 
not the other way around, and I wasn’t there. Some best friend I am.”

“You are the best friend I could ever hope to have Buffy Summers, so stop 
that right now.” She said it so forcefully I couldn’t help but try and 
believe her, even though deep down I know better. “Now, end of that 
discussion. I don’t want you ever thinking that you aren’t worth it ok, 
because nothing could be farther from the truth.”

“Ok” I replied meekly. I still thought otherwise, but I wasbeginning to see 
the ‘Resolve Face’ forming, so I decided to just give in. But a heavy 
conversation like this was in need of one more thing before it could be laid 
to rest. “Just one more thing Will?”

“What’s that?”

“A hug?”

The smile that lit up her face was so warm that I could have basked in the 
glow all night long. But before I had the chance she wrapped her arms tightly 
around me and drew me in for the most loving hug I can ever remember sharing 
with her. And in that moment, for the first time in almost a year, I felt 
safe, I felt loved, I felt like I had come home.

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TBC
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