Fic: Half A World Away (7/7)

["dap311" <sjld5602@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Half a World Away (7/7)
Author: dap311 (sjld5602@xxxxxxxxxxx)
Pairing: B/W 
Rating: R
Disclaimers: Buffy and Willow belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy.  
"Half a World Away" is Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe (R.E.M.) off
Out of 
Time.  
Spoilers: This is set during their senior year in high school, but 
has departed after 2nd season, for the most part. There is no Oz 
is this universe.  
Feedback: Yes, please- any and all is welcome.
Summary: Willow is fighting depression, Buffy tries to help her.  
Distribution: Just ask.

"Turn to the miracle, high alive."  
--R.E.M., "Half a World Away"

[Willow's Thoughts]

Buffy sat for most of the afternoon, watching Willow as she slept, 
trying to think of how to help her best friend, and trying to 
reconcile the feelings she was having towards the redhead. She 
had known for a little while now that Willow meant much more to 
her than just a friend, but she was scared of what such a 
revelation to could do to her already fragile mental state. The 
kiss was a start, but Buffy didn't know where to go from there.  

Around 5pm, after calling her mom and letting her know she 
was going to spend the night at Willow's again, Buffy quietly 
climbed into the hacker's bed and pulled her close. The contact 
woke Willow who unconsciously snuggled further down into the 
arms that had enveloped her. It was a warm, safe place, and 
both friends felt calmed by the other's presence.

"Good evening, sleepyhead," Buffy said softly into the crook
of 
Willow's neck where she had buried her face. "Feeling any 
better?"

"Mmmm. I feel warm and safe at the moment. But, I always feel 
warm and safe when I'm with you. Sometimes it's the only
time I 
feel safe." Willow's tone was quiet and even, but Buffy
could tell 
there was something else under it and began to worry. She 
wondered if she should be holding her like this, if she should 
have kissed her earlier. Doubt enveloped the slayer's mind like 
a cloud, but before she could feel too guilty, Buffy was drawn out 
of her thoughts by Willow shifting so the two friends were laying 
face to face.

"Buffy??" the redhead started hesitantly.  

"Yeah, Will?"

"Why can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why did you kiss me before?"

Buffy was silent as she thought of how to answer her best 
friend's question. Why had she kissed Willow? She originally 
thought it was just to comfort her, but it occurred to the slayer 
afterwards that she had been wanting to kiss her for sometime 
now. Had even dreamed of it, among other racier things. But, 
was this the time to bring up those feelings? She was still 
worried that Willow couldn't handle a possible change in their 
relationship.

"Well? um? I?" The slayer didn't know where to
start and 
could only get out a couple of incoherent sounds once she 
began speaking. Unfortunately Willow took this to mean that she 
had upset Buffy, jumping to the conclusion that the blonde 
woman had regretted the kiss and mentally kicked herself for 
bringing it up.  

[Stupid Willow. Stupid. Way to go. As if your life didn't
suck 
enough. Now you have to go and mention something that 
probably meant nothing and push away the one person you can 
count on, the one person who you feel safe with. Great.]

Buffy sensed an immediate change in Willow- the air around the 
hacker changed tangibly and she could tell that her friend was 
upset. Willow closed her eyes and tears began to slowly slide 
down her face, across her nose, and hitting the pillow below.  
Buffy reached up and gently caressed a tear-streaked cheek, 
unsure of where to begin, knowing she needed to say 
something.

"Will-no. Please don't get upset. I didn't mean to
sound all- 
well, dumb, I guess. Please don't get upset. I just didn't
know 
what to say it's complicated."

"What's complicated?" The questioning voice was so
meek, so 
full of pain that it tore Buffy's heart out just hearing it. She
knew 
then that no matter what she needed to tell Will how she felt. It 
would only make things worse to keep things hidden from her 
troubled friend.  

"Why I kissed you. And how I feel about you. I told you
earlier 
that you mean the world to me and that I love you, right?" Buffy 
paused before jumping in with both feet. It was now or never, 
their friendship and whatever else that was between them 
depended on what she said next. "What I didn't say, what I 
wanted to say but was too scared to, was that I don't just love 
you, Will. I'm IN love with you. I have been for awhile, I
think. I'm 
not sure, really, when it happened, but that doesn't matter now.  
All that matters is that you're in pain, and that you're
hurting 
yourself, and that I need you to know that no matter what 
happens, or what you do, I will always love you."

"D-did you say that you're in love with me?"  

"Yeah, I did. And I understand if you don't want to deal
with this 
right now, or ever. It might be more than you want to handle. But, 
I couldn't keep it from you- you would have known I was holding 
something back, and I didn't want you to think it was something 
bad and get upset. I guess that's why I kissed you. I wanted
you 
to know that there is only love here."

Willow opened her eyes and looked into the face of her best 
friend. She could tell instantly that Buffy wasn't lying,
wasn't 
saying this just to make her feel better. If there was one thing 
she was sure about in this world, it was that she could tell if Buffy 
was lying or telling the truth. And that instant Willow felt a small 
spark of hope for the first time in months. 

A small smile appeared on the tired hacker's face, the first 
smile Buffy had witnessed in a very long time. It wasn't huge,
but 
it reached her green eyes and made the slayer feel a tingle deep 
down inside. She realized then just how much she had missed 
her best friend's smile, and just how much she wanted to make 
her smile every day for the rest of her life.  

Pulling Willow closer still, Buffy leaned in and captured the 
smiling lips for the second time that day. This time the kiss was 
something more than a comfort, it was a reassurance, and 
affirmation of everything Buffy had just said. It was calm at first, 
as Buffy was still unsure of how Willow would react, but as soon 
as the redhead deepened the kiss she had her answer.  
Willow's mouth parted slightly, inviting the slayer in and Buffy 
gladly accepted the invitation. The kiss grew more passionate 
as the minutes passed, both girls becoming more and more 
breathless and aroused as they explored the other's mouth.  
Buffy pulled back briefly to catch her breath, but didn't let the 
redhead have time to miss the connection as she began to kiss 
and nibble down Willow's neck, finding her pulse point which 
indicated a rapidly beating heart. Willow for her part, began to 
run her left hand through the slayer's blonde hair, unable to do 
much more as her mind began to hum in a pleasure she had 
never before felt.  
	
After a few more minutes of attention paid to Willow's neck,
Buffy 
pulled back, breathing heavily, and simply looked at the beautiful 
woman laying in front of her. A warmth seemed to be radiating 
off of the redhead that Buffy had never felt before and realized 
that she had caused it. She wanted nothing more than to 
continue to make Willow feel that way, but knew that the two 
friends needed to talk before things went farther. There was still 
the matter of Willow's depression, and the possibility of what 
could happen between them could make things more 
complicated.  

"Will? How about we go downstairs and have some dinner?  
Then I think we should talk."  

Feeling a little more sure of herself, and much safer for the time 
being, Willow simply nodded her head and pulled the slayer in 
for a warm embrace before they got up. She knew that there was 
a lot to be talked about, and that there were going to be very hard 
times in the future, but for the first time she was sure that she 
wouldn't have to go through it alone. And while this didn't
solve 
things, and couldn't really, it gave Willow a sense of hope that 
hadn't been there the night before.  


To Be Continued in "Fascinating New Thing."