FIC: Dianna Wears Red: Third Lesson

[Mad Hamlet <Mad-Hamlet@xxxxxxx>]

Disclaimer: All this belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.(Grrr...arrrgh)


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Dianna Wears Red 
Third Lesson




It's dark. 

The dark is fading, though. I become more aware, pulling away from sleep Iam
more aware of a sullen glow
pulsing slowly through my eyelids. So it's dark because my eyes are closed.
That makes sense I suppose. I better find out where I am. Let's open the eyes
and, quite literally, see what we see.

Jesus. That hurt. All I wanted to do was open my eyes and my entire body
voiced its protests very loudly. Alright, we'll just lie here a bit and
recover our strength. We'll be ready to try again in, oh, maybe three or four
weeks.


"You're awake agent?"

Dr. Walsh! Instinct kicks in and I try and come to attention.

Ow. That hurt. That hurt a lot. Okay, not going to do that again anytime
soon. 
	
Military procedure or not I'm just going to float here in my private
universe, ignoring the lights outside. Procedure be damned. 

I feel a warm hand touch me on the shoulder briefly. "Rest now, Agent Finn.
The report can wait."

I open my mouth to reply, as any soldier would to a superior. I want to say
'Yes Ma'am.' 

What I hear, before what little light there is begins to fall away, is "Yessh
mMMmm." 

Then all the lights go away.


***
It's dark.

Silent. 

Quiet. Kinda nice.

"Willow?" her voice, breaks the quiet. In a smooth way though, so I don't
mind.
	
Can't see anything at all. Just the black before me, and I know it's behind
me, all around me. I should be scared but I'm not. If it was just dark I'd be
terrified; but it's not just me alone in the dark. She's here; she's holding
me close and watching me very carefully. I can't see her but I know it. I know
it like I know the sun will be up tomorrow and that all the bad things willbe
running for cover. 

I know she's here. How do I know? I'm warm. 

The dark is usually cold and empty but this dark is so warm and full and.
and.and stuff. I can't exactly feel the warmth. Just that I'm aware of it.
Aware of her, of me, floating comfortably aware but not alarmed in this not
scary, not lonely darkness. 

It's a good, warm darkness! Like a fuzzy blanket.

As I think about it I'm growing more aware of my surroundings. 

Hearing is the first thing to kick in. I can hear the crickets chirping from
somewhere. Down I think. Oh and there a soft wind now! I hear branches
rustling in that quiet way they do when a simple breeze moves them. And
there's a car! I can hear traffic, which is good though at the same time it's
kinda bad. Not that I can hear the traffic, means ears are working. Go ear
drums yeah! Course cars mean exhaust and exhaust is pollution and pollutionis
bad. See? I hope the trees in the breeze will be okay and not get hurt from
the pollution. 

Oh, oh, yay! Smell is back. Dear, dear, sense of smell how we missed you. I
can smell ...can smell... mmm+ICY fresh air. Fresh cool air and it has all
these lovely quiet smells with it. Sweet and ...mmm+ICY-kinda wet. Like a...like
a...uhmm+ICY-pollen! Yeah! It's pollen. Oh no! My allergies! 

Check that, I don't have allergies. Alright then, pollen is okay with me.
Sweet, sweet pollen. 

And here is my good friend taste. Not that there is a lot to taste right now.
My mouth is kinda sticky though sorta gummy. Sour, bleah. Still, I have to
welcome taste back because without it I'd never be able to enjoy another
choco-double-mocha-creamoliscious! A critical part of any college students
diet. 

Great, now all we need is touch and sight and I'll be ready to face the
world.

Wait, wait...here comes touch no-

Hearing tells me I'm crying. My own quiet moan echoes in my ears and taste
adds to the argument by informing me it's no longer worried about cottonmouth.
It+IBk-s tasting the salt of my tears. All this is blown away by the
overwhelming screaming that Touch is doing. My entire head hurts, the left
side of my face feels all swollen and hot. That sick, deathly hot of something
broken and needing help to fix it. 

I grit my teeth and Touch is happy to inform me that that is making the pain
worse. I whimper I don't need hearing to know that now. Everything is working
perfectly. All my senses are again a seamless team and I'm aware of everything
instantly. 

And then they share something better with me. Her arms are around me. Her arm
supporting me and with her other hand I can feel her caressing my face, the
side that doesn't hurt. 

"Shhhh," I hear her say. "Shhhh...." 

"Buffy?" My throat is sore and I can barely hear myself what with all the
ringing going on in my head. I'm not sure I can actually hear it, but I know
its there. 

"Shhhh," she says again. "Rest, I've got you. You're safe now, I'll watch.
Rest."

"It hurts," I whine. A fresh wave of pain rolls against me and I bite down, I
try not to cry out. My stomach heaves at the effort. "It hurts a lot."

"I know," Buffy murmurs. "I know it does. Try and rest. I've got you,
everything will be okay." 

I want to ask her how she honestly thinks I can get any sleep with this
screaming ache grinding in my head. But, I can't hear her anymore. Then I
can't feel the pain, the sound of crickets, traffic and the breeze winks out
and I can't taste anything anymore. 

I'm warm though. Warm, comfortable and safe. She's got me. 

***


Again the darkness fades away and the first thing I notice is the constant
thrum of the life support system. Usually you don't hear it. It's always there
but after a living here for so long you block it out. I'm not blocking it out
now though. My mind latches onto it like a lifeline and uses it to climb out
of the dark. 

The next thing I hear is the regular beeping of a heart monitor. It's pretty
close so my guess is that's it's for me. Finally there's my old friend the
glow of the overhead lights. 

"Great." I mutter reflexively. I tense up, expecting protest, an ache
anything from my body telling me to shut up and not move. Nothing happens. 

"Ah, you're awake Agent Finn." Dr. Walsh says. She's still here? What she
watched over me or something?

I open my eyes slowly, the dull glow becomes piercing and I blink a few times
as my eyes adapt to the glare. 

"Easy," Dr. Walsh says. She's standing at the foot of my bed; clipboard in
hand studying whatever it is that's clipped to the clipboard. "Take your
time."

She doesn't actually look at me.

I slowly sit up and this does cause a few grumbles from my muscles but not
anything I can't ignore. That's better. Now what's first, oh yeah, my report.

"Agent Riley Finn ready to make his report Ma'am," I say briskly.

"Very well Agent," Dr. Walsh replies, setting the clipboard aside and pulling
up a chair. "Whenever you're ready."

She leans back, folds her arms across her chest and stares straight at me
without blinking. Every time she does this I can't help but feel like
something on an operating table. I fight off the urge to squirm uncomfortably.
Keeping my eyes firmly focused on a spot just behind her I fill her in on what
happened.

"Alpha Squad was on a bag and grab op for a vampire HST per request of the
science division," I began.

"Yes, I know," Dr. Walsh interrupts. "I'm fully aware of everything that
happened up to the point where you actually confronted the unidentified threat
Agent. Please begin there."

"Yes Ma'am," I nod. "Upon entering the room we attempted to encircle the
unidentified HST. We never had a chance Ma'am. Whatever it was moved far to
fast for us to even begin setting up a containment circle. Within two seconds
Agents Travis and Evens were down, Travis having been struck by Evens's own
rifle when the HST dodged Evens swing. It was so fast Ma'am. I didn't even get
a good look at it. That's the last thing I can remember clearly Ma'am.
Everything after that is a blur."

"That's it Agent?" Dr. Walsh raises one eyebrow. "One second you're aware of
everything in the combat and the next you're not?"

"Ma'am, up to a certain point, I'd guess about ten seconds after we entered
the room, the HST was playing with us. I...." I fumble about, my head is
hurting and I can't really remember...hold on. "Ma'am the HST seemed to be
laughing. If I didn't know better it was enjoying itself."

"Enjoying itself," Dr. Walsh echoes. "Then it suddenly grows, what, bored
with you and proceeds to demolish your entire squad?"

"I'm...I'm not sure Ma'am." I say weakly. 

"Be sure Agent." Dr. Walsh snaps, leaning forward in her chair. "We can have
no assumptions, or guesses in this line of work. Those get people killed. We
need facts. You are dangerously low on them."

"Yes Ma'am. Just give me a minute Ma'am." I reply quickly. What happened?
It's a good question, I now distinctly remember whatever that thing was
laughing at us and then...then... right, then it was screaming. Screaming,
more of a full-throated howl. Why was it screaming? I'm sure we didn't get a
hit in, so we hadn't hurt it so what set it off?

I try and remember exactly what happened. The civilian, she....

"Civilian's Jetting!" I remember Forrest shouting. What did I do? Standard
procedure I ordered him to intercept. Then...then...a sound, the thing's
laughing, Travis's screaming about his leg and one other sound. Two sounds
really, someone hitting someone else and the shriek of a ...of a... a woman
being struck. Then the HST's how and after that...nothing, nothing but pain.

"Ma'am," I say. "I believe I have an idea what set the HST off."

"Please proceed agent." Dr. Walsh says clearly giving an order.

***


Things don't come back one by one like they did earlier. Everything just
snaps back. Systems online kind of thing.

I can't help but groan again. I roll over, or try to but find myself
restrained. Slowly opening my eyes I look up and see Buffy's eyes meeting
mine. 

"Hi there," she whispers to me. "Feeling better?"

I work my jaw slowly, trying to get a feel for what the pain in my face will
allow for and what it won't. 

I settle for shaking my head slowly. "Not a whole lot," I mutter. "Where are
we?"

Buffy glances around quickly, "About thirty feet off the ground in a really
big tree." 

What?

"We're in a tree?" I ask. 

"What's wrong with trees?" Buffy answers my questions with one of her own.
"They're big and strong. The leaves keep out the rain well enough, if it's
raining, and tame the wind." 

She's quiet for a few seconds. 

"Topsoil," Buffy says under her breath. "I'm not sure where but I'm pretty
sure that trees are important to topsoil. Though, I can't remember why. You're
the supposed to be the smart one; you tell me."

"We're in a tree?" I repeat.

"Yes Willow, we're in a tree. I couldn't take you back to the dorm."

I try and touch my face but Buffy intercepts the move and gently forces my
hand back to my side. "Let me." 

Her fingers are cool, soothing and very light. My face still feels hot and
kinda thick, her touch brings a blessed relief to the constant ache; so much
so that I close my eyes for a few seconds just to enjoy the feeling. 

When I open them again the sun is on the horizon.

"You're awake again?" Buffy asks, I'm still in her arms. Hours must have
passed between one eyeblink and the next and she held me the entire time. 

I move my tongue along the inside of my mouth, searching for sore spots,
trying to anticipate how much actual movement my cause more pain. Other than a
dull, steady ache everything seems relatively okay. Alright, my preferable
definition of 'Okay' means no pain anywhere but considering how much it hurt a
while ago I guess how I feel now can be labeled 'Okay'. Maybe even a 'Well
enough'.

Just to be on the safe side I nod in answer to Buffy's question. 

"How we feeling?" she asks.

"Livable," I say quietly. "In that, only because you're holding me and I'm
right here that things are liveable. If you weren't you and I wasn+IBk-t here
yet in this amount of pain I might reconsider the benefits of this whole
'mortal coil' stuff. 

Instead of laughing at my joke the shadows under Buffy's eyes darken and the
light in her eyes fades away. Her jaw barely moves and it looks like she has
to force the words out of the narrow line her lips have set.

"Don't say that," she hisses. "Don't ever say anything like that!" She puts
strong emphasis on the 'ever'. I remember a dream; the way she speaks makesme
remember a dream. Of a place with only one road and a door and
a...a...guardian of some sort. I remember a dream but it wasn't a dream. It
should be a dream, but its not I know its not, the brass sphere, Buffy's
golden ball it tells me that what should have been a dream, wasn't.

Her eyes glare down at me and the dull ache in my head seems erased
as...as...fear...fear takes its place. 

"Uh...sorry. No more jokes about that then, my bad I'm sorry. Please don'tbe
mad at me I didn't mean it really!" I squeak in one long breathless speech.
"Buffy you're scaring me."

Her looks softens and my apprehension falls away with it. She looked so, so
wild. 

"I'm...I'm sorry Will," she says. Again her fingers gently touch my jawline.
I begin to hiss in anticipated pain but there isn't any. She's that careful.
"I should be sorry. I let them do this to you. I should have been faster, not
so...so...stupid."

"Stupid?" My eyebrows shoot up and it only hurts an eensy teensy bit.
Progress.

Buffy looks away from me, directly at the rising sun and it's strange how the
light doesn't really touch her face. It should, but its not. Her eyes are
still in shadow and while the golden light makes her hair shine and her skin
glow, her actual face is still dark. 

"I was playing with them, they come into my territory, as a clear threat and
for some stupid reason I decided to play with them. Because of that they hurt
you," she says.

Her eyes glaze over slightly and she's not looking at me anymore.  

"My territory!" she says in a husky voice. "My place, my home!"

"Buffy?" I ask. 

"My territory! They came into my territory," her lips are pulled back, her
teeth clenched together, "They came into my territory and they hurt my-" She
breaks off suddenly, leaving the sentence unfinished. Her eyes flicker overto
me and in a much quieter voice she mumbles, "They hurt you."

Her body is shaking violently, the tension just pouring out from her in
waves, even though she's not saying anything her breathing is harsh and loud,
and ...its just not a good thing to hear. 

So I do something that later on I will have to decide was very stupid, or
very brave. 

I reach out slowly and grab her wrist, the one with the tattoo that matches
my own. I stroke the back of her hand slowly and softly, not saying anything,
not breathing loudly. I then begging tracing the pattern of her tattoo withmy
fingertips, just following the loops and the whirling patterns, the lines that
curve over and around themselves.

Just over and over again and, eventually, her breathing slows down a bit and
her muscles begin to relax. Buffy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
I smile slightly and kiss the back of her hand. 

Then absently rubbing her hand with my thumbs I wait for her to say
something, she will, when she's ready.

Ready happens to be rather fast. Not a minute has gone by when Buffy says,
"Thanks Willow, I really needed that." 

I glance up at her and though the morning sun has risen a bit more she's
still ...shadowed. Darkened. The light should have reached her face a while
ago but...it hasn't.

"You're welcome...Buffy who were they?" I ask, I'm still wondering why the
light won't reach her face.

She shrugs slightly. "I dunno Will. Which just makes my stupidity more
stupid. I had no idea who they were. I know they were human but, I had no
idea of their capabilities, what kind of threat they were. I was just so damn
confidant that I completely ignored stuff like that. When Giles finds out he's
gonna flip."

I have nothing to say to that. A lot has happened that her Watcher is not in
the know about, nor any of our friends. Buffy and I have been keeping secrets
for a while now, big secrets and it's not going to be fun telling them. I
don't know if we even can. 

"I just played with them," Buffy repeats more to herself than to me. "And
then they hurt you."

And then I remember. My running across the room trying to flip on the lights,
the soldier grabbing me by the arm saying his hating words. Then the pain.
Other than that, the pain, all I remember is the...is the...Oh God. The
screaming!

"Buffy," I swallow, my stomach has gone all scrunchy. "What exactly did you
do to them?"

***

"So you believe it was Agent Forest+IBk-s actions toward the civilian that
caused the HST to go, in your own words, psycho?" Dr. Walsh peers at me
steadily over the top of the clipboard, re-reading the notes she has taken
during her interview of me. Interview? More like an interrogation. Ah well,
who can understand the brass?

"Yes Ma'am," I say promptly. "Based on what little I did see of this HST's
capabilities it should have been able to take us down at any time but instead
it took its time. Up until Agent Forrest struck the civilian and at that point
the HST became very er...serious in its efforts to overcome us." I wince a
little as a particularly nasty ache in my shoulder flares up.

"Are you proposing then, Agent, that there is possibly some connection
between this HST and the civilian? They are, perhaps allies or even the
civilian is not human after all but merely another HST?" Dr. Walsh asks. 

"It is a possibility Ma'am." I reply straight faced, still keeping my eyes
locked on the wall behind her. The only problem with that is it keeps swimming
in and out of focus.

"Interesting," is the only response I get from my superior. "What can you
tell me of the HST's appearance Agent Finn?"

"Ma'am, may I inquire into the status of my men first?" 

Dr. Walsh arches one eyebrow but gives me a slight nod. "Fair enough," she
says. "Travis suffered only the broken leg he received from at the hands from
his own squad mate. Even's also was not hurt too badly other than several
cracked ribs and broken nose. You took quite a bit of punishment. The HST
tore muscles in your left shoulder, broke three ribs on your right side. We
were actually worried about internal bleeding but it appears that wasn't the
case. Your right ankle is sprained and your right eye is swollen shut."

That would explain why I couldn+IBk-t see the wall clearly. 

She hasn't mentioned Forrest though. This worries me, the brass is never
known to volunteer information but even they don't give half assed reports
'specially when they know they've left information out. She just wants me to
ask, why does brass do that anyhow? Shit. I mean, okay I am not to wonder why
I am just to do and die but, Jesus, do they have to make everything such a
song and dance?

Alright, alright. I'll ask.

+IBw-And Forrest Ma'am?" I ask. The wall swims sickeningly.

"Agent Forrest, yes," Dr. Walsh murmurs. "He seemed to suffer particular
attentions from the HST."

Oh man, Forrest is a bud.

"He's not dead," Dr. Walsh continues. "Just every major joint in his
upper-body has been hyperextend. That includes his elbows, shoulders and
wrists. The HST even wrenched his neck but did not actually break it. We've
kept him unconscious until we've had time to effect repairs. He should be
fully recovered in a few days though."

"From extreme hyperextension Ma'am?" I can't keep myself from asking. I know
the Initiative has high level of tech but c'mon, fully recovered in a few
days?

"Yes Agent," she says. Shit, when she doesn't even bother to use my name I
know I've screwed up. "We have certain technologies not available to the
regular community. It should hasten his and your own recovery, nicely. You,
yourself, should be fit for duty in about forty-eight hours. Forrest will,
admittedly take a bit longer than that. One week maximum."

"Oh." 

"Now Agent Finn," Dr. Walsh continues. "I believe you were going to attempt
to give me a description of the HST?"
	
I try and force the wall into focus. "Yes Ma'am."


***


"So you didn't kill them?" I can't keep the relief out of my voice. I'm
resting with my back to the tree; Buffy perched on the branch next to me. She
didn't want to let me go but I insisted, and still do, that I'm fine. Teensy
head, face, jaw, neck, and head ache but fine.

Buffy shakes her head once. "Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because they were human Will," Buffy replies quickly, her tone flat and
even. To my ears it sounds like she's trying to convince herself rather than
me. "You know that. I'm not sure why they were here, or where they were from
but one thing I am sure of is that they were human."

"So you didn't kill them because they were human?" I ask.


I told Buffy I didn't care, and its true I don't. My love for her is
unconditional but I want to get her to talk about it. Buffy doesn't like
talking, I know this and she knows I know. Yet...yet I want her to be
comfortable talking to me. About anything, not just safe stuff. Is that
selfish of me?

Buffy is still looking at the sun. It has fully risen above the horizon now
and it+IBk-s warm and pink. Gold light spreads across the earth which is, ulp,
about thirty feet down. I encourage my body not to move.

"No," she finally answers. "No, I didn't not kill them because they were
human."

A tiny voice in my mind, a voice summed up from everything I know about
Buffy, what I think about Buffy and everything I feel about her and it informs
me that that admittance was not easy. 

I decide to be quiet.

The silence is palpable. The air thick with things waking up around us, the
birds, the flowers, the world in general. People are either waking up in
greeting to the morning sun, or rolling over and pulling the covers over their
heads. I'm in a tree, with a bruised face and a naked girlfriend waiting for
her to talk to me. 

Ten seconds pass, twenty, thirty, forty, I lose count at forty-four. Should I
start over? I could, it would give me something to do I suppose. I look over
at Buffy. She's crouched on the branch, her chin resting on her knees staring
at the horizon, which still looks like fire. She has just told me that the
reason she didn't kill the men who attacked us had nothing to do with them
being human. I guess that means that she would have could have, killed them. I
think she probably hates herself right now. She knows that she could kill. She
really, truly knows it and I guess she's punishing herself for that. I can't
let my lover do that, I can't let her hate, or punish herself for just
being...Buffy.

I reach out slowly, cramped muscles protesting the entire time and gently
brush my fingers through her hair. "I love you," I whisper gently.

I watch the muscles in her back tense up and for a second I'm afraid she'll
pull away from me but she doesn't. She hunches her shoulders a bit and then
she is still. For a few seconds--then a small tremor ripples across her--then
another and another. She's crying I think but I can't hear a thing from her,
just the shaking of her shoulders. 

Buffy turns to me, yes, she's crying. Now the sunlight reaches her face and
the tears sparkle in the sun, yet the shadows under her eyes remain. She
reaches out to me and I pull her into a hug. She still makes no noise but as I
hold her, and now it+IBk-s my turn to rock her slowly as her shaking eases a
bit.

Into my ear she finally whispers, "That's why I didn't kill them."

"Buffy-" I try and start but she pulls away and gently touches my lips,
keeping me from speaking.

"I wanted to. I can see it in my head so clearly," she continues. "They hurt
you, and something...powerful wanted to break free. It wanted me to destroy
them...."

She's quiet for a few seconds. Just breathing.

"Destroy them utterly," Buffy continues. " I think I know this ...thing.
Its what has been making the night so comfortable. So attractive. It made the
night feel right to me, like I belonged there and was a part of it. I thought
it was a beautiful thing but its not a beautiful thing, its terrible."

"No," I say around her fingers and reaching to take her hand in my own.
"You're wrong."

"How can you say that Will?" she demands. Her eyebrows are narrowing; Buffy
doesn't like it when people get keep her from hurting herself. "You were
there, with the vamps and the blood, how can you not think that me, wantingto
kill somebody, is not a terrible thing. Or that something inside me trying to
get me to kill?"

"Two reason," I reply holding up two fingers. "One, do you remember what I
said that night? With the vampires?+IB0 I challenge her, +IBw-Do you?"

Buffy looks at the ground far below, turning her face from me. I'm not sure
she's going to answer, then finally, "You said you didn't care," she mutters.

"Yes, exactly."

"What's the second reason?" again she looks at me.

"Because you didn't want to kill out of some need for pleasure or because the
idea turned you on. It was a...a...primal thing. But its main source was the
desire to protect." I place her hand over my heart, and keep it there. She
doesn't try and pull away.  

"That's where everything about you comes from," I say, keeping my hand over
hers. "Your desire to protect. Maybe, depending what you were protecting, the
reaction is more or less intense but its protection just the same. I mean, uh,
we don't know who they were. What if...uh...what if they were some sort of
Colombian drug lords come to do, ooh, who knows what kind of terrible things
to us? Huh?" I raise my eyebrows, daring Buffy to disagree with that idea,
unlikely, as it seems.

Buffy smirks. I cannot believe how much of a relief it is to see that.

"Colombian drug lords in full camo gear with ray guns? That's a bit of a
reach isn't it Will?" she says softly.

"Well, I could be more general and just say honking big men with mean looking
weapons." I reply defensively. I'd cross my arms and pout but I want her to
keep her hand over my heart. "That's beside the point. What if it was still
them, and the situation was, I dunno how exactly, but different so you only
had the choice of killing them or losing ...uh...losing...."

"You," Buffy says. "Losing you.+IB0 She chokes on the words her voice
breaking. +IBw-If it was that situation Will I'd kill them."

"And I'd love you for it," I reply. "I really would because I know you, trust
you and love you to do what you have to do and no more no less. You+IBk-d
protect me." 

Still holding her hand in place, I reach up with my free one and lay it
gently against her cheek.

"Last night wasn't that kind of situation and you didn't kill them." I
continue. "Instead of beating yourself up over what might have happened why
not um+ICY-give yourself a gold star for not doing it and doing what you did
instead."

Buffy shoots me an odd look, half wary, half-smiling then she silently mouths
the words, "Gold star?"

After a while she shakes her head slowly. "What did I do to deserve you?" she
asks...me? Herself?

I answer anyway. "Healthy living." I say in total seriousness.

At that Buffy throws her head back and laughs and this time all the morning
light covers her face chasing away the shadows.

Buffy finally pulls her hand free from mine, turns and nestles against me,
being mindful of my injuries and we sit like that for some time, just being
there.

"I love you," Buffy says after a few seconds of silence.

"And I love you," I reply kissing the top of her head. 

A few more minutes of contented silence are enjoyed.

And then, "Come on, we're going to my mothers." 

"Your Mom's Buffy? But, but what about clothes n'stuff? I mean you want to
walk across town...uhm..."

"Naked?" Buffy grins at me. "It's too early on a Saturday love. We'll be
okay." Her tone turns serious. "We can't go back to the dorm Willow, we have
no idea of this new threat. I'm not taking any chances."

"Uh...okay Buffy," I shrug helplessly. If she thinks she can sneak across
Sunnydale without clothes, who am I to stop her. Buffy usually does anything
she puts her mind too it but at what point, before now, did Buffy put her mind
to something like this?



***


"We have established the probable identity of the civilian who rendered
assistance to HST last night," Dr. Walsh tells me. "According to the school
records the room you were in is registered to one 'Willow Rosenberg' and her
roommate 'Elizabeth Anne Summers'."

"Summers and... Rosenberg?" I repeat the names, feeling them roll around in
my head. "Those names are familiar Ma'am." 

"As well they should be Agent Finn, both these young ladies are in my
Introduction to Psychology class," Dr. Walsh replies. "One of the ones where
you T.A in I believe."

"Yes Ma'am. I remember now," I say, nodding. "The redhead and the blonde,
fourth row from the front." 

"Do you have any idea which one was in the room last night?" Dr. Walsh asks
me, still staring at that damn wall. Part of me wants to break it.

"I'm pretty sure it was Ms Rosenberg Ma'am. She has shorter hair than Ms
Summers and, while I never got a good look at the civilian's face, I'm
positive it was the same length as Ms Rosenberg's."

"Very good Agent Finn," Dr. Walsh says. "Here are your orders then."

"Ma'am." I try and straighten up even more. "With all due respect..."

Dr. Walsh scowls, she doesn't like being interrupted. "Yes, Agent Finn?"

"Ma'am I'd like permission to go topside and arrest Willow Rosenberg for
possible collusion with the enemy," I look my superior in the eye. I want to
do this; I want to get this thing that put me here. "If she is some sort of
ally we can get any and all information from her that we need through
interrogation." 

"Is that all Agent Finn?" Dr. Walsh replies coolly. One of her fingers is
tapping on the corner of the clipboard impatiently. Not a good sign.

"Yes Ma'am," I reply.

Dr. Walsh sighs deeply. "Under normal circumstances, Agent Finn, your request
would be given the go-ahead, however these are not normal circumstances." 

What? I let my confusion be known. "Ma'am?"

"Two reasons Agent Finn, One," Dr. Walsh, looking at me again, holding up one
finger. "Behavioral science doesn't know what to make of this new HST," she
continues. "Clearly it is fast, strong and deadly. As you yourself have said,
and the reports of your squad mates that we have concur with this assessment."
Dr. Walsh pauses and her eyes lose their focus. 

"What makes it doubly dangerous Riley," she's become distracted enough she
used my given name. "Is that it clearly demonstrated advanced combat and
tactical behavior. Most HST's we know of essentially charge into combat but
this one, this one was different." 

Again Dr. Walsh pauses. 

Did she just lick her lips?

"It used your men against each other," she continues. "Dodging out of the way
of Even's blow and so forth."

"Yes Ma'am," I reply again focusing on the far wall. "What does this have to
do with my being denied permission to acquire Ms Rosenberg for questioning?"

Dr. Walsh's eyes snap into focus and she stares right at me. I can't help it
when my eyes flicker from the neutral place on the wall to meet hers. I want
to look away, I really want to but I can't. She won't let me.

"We want this one alive Agent." Dr. Walsh says fiercely. "We want it alive
very, very much. You do not need to know the why do you soldier?"

"No Ma'am!" I reply fiercely.

"And you are prepared to carry out your orders to the letter?" Dr Walsh
points at me. Daring me to challenge her, I know this look, drill sergeants
carry the same look but no Drill sergeant I ever met had a look as scary as
Dr. Walsh's.

"Yes Ma'am!" I practically shout.

"Very well then," Dr. Walsh says calmly. Her blazing eyes now, calm, cool,
relaxed, normal everyday eyes. She glances again at her clipboard. "Here are
your orders, Agent Finn." 

"Uh...Ma'am?" I am hesitant to interrupt my commanding officer yet again
but...

"Yes Agent?" Dr. Walsh snaps, back to using just the term agent. I really
have to learn to shut up or I'll be on KP duty for the rest of my career. 

"You...said...there were two reasons Ma'am?" I hope she doesn't take this
personally.

"I would think that would be obvious Agent," Dr. Walsh says back to me. "The
reason we do not wish to risk going in with force is that this unknown HST has
already destroyed, single handedly and without any apparent effort on its
part, our most able and skilled assault force." She pauses and I it takes all
my willpower to keep looking at the same spot on the wall, not to lock eyes
with her. 

"You are the best aren+IBk-t you Agent Finn?" Dr. Walsh asks.

"Ma'am, Yes Ma'am." I reply automatically.

"And you command Alpha Squad don't you Agent Finn?" Dr. Walsh asks.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." I say fiercely.

"And is Alpha Squad the best we have?" I know where this is going but I have
no choice to play along.

"Ma'am, yes it is Ma'am!"

"And how long did it take for this HST to destroy Alpha Squad, the best squad
the Initiative has, commanded by Agent Riley Finn, the best agent the
Initiative has?" Dr. Walsh asks me calmly, she's tearing me apart and using
the same tone of voice she would if asking about the weather.

"Ma'am, just over ten seconds Ma'am!" I shout out that last part. I don't
think Dr. Walsh notices. The wall Finn, look at the wall, stay focused on the
wall.

"Are you ready for your orders Agent Finn?" Dr. Walsh asks.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am!" The wall, the wall, the wall, look at the wall boy and
you better get real good at it!

"You are to become aquatinted either with Ms Rosenberg, or Ms Summers.
Preferably both. Once this is accomplished you are to turn your considerable
charms upon one or the other to get access to their life. Any information that
is then shared with you, any at all, not just anything regarding possible HST
contact is to be reported to me, personally. Is that understood?"

Dr. Walsh short speech is said in a clinical, cold, precise manner which
almost makes me burst out laughing, what she's said in the manner she says it.
I don't burst out laughing of course; I'm a well-trained soldier.

"Uh...excuse me Ma'am?" The words slip out against my will.

Dr. Walsh finally looks directly at me and now, with a perfect sense of
timing, the room stops swimming and snaps into crystal clear focus. Ironically
enough she's smiling at me, slightly. "You are to seduce one of them Riley,"
she says not unkindly.
"Or both of them if you think you're up to it."

This is so unfair! I don't want to do some stupid kind of undercover work.
This thing took me and mine out neat as you please. I want to find it, track
it down. 

Damnit! I was trained to be a hunter not some god damned James Bond!

"What you learn from that ...mmm.." Dr. Walsh pauses. "Interaction is to be
handed over to me. Now do you understand?"

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." I reply automatically. It takes some doing but I manage
not to clench my teeth while responding. Not that she'd care either way. 

"Good," she nods and resumes looking back at her clipboard. What's on that
thing anyway?

Dr. Walsh stands up, "Get some rest Agent. You have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, Ma'am." I nod; I almost, but not quite salute. "I'll get on it this
Sunday."

Dr. Walsh, without a backwards glance walks across the room and out the
door.

I sigh heavily, wincing at the stitch that causes in my side. 

The door swings open and Dr. Walsh pokes her head in. "I almost forgot Riley,
there's a stack of papers that need to be graded for Monday's classes. Just
because you're in bed doesn't mean you can't do paperwork. They're on the
table beside you. Hop to it."

"Yes Ma'am." I say again. She nods again and the door swings shut.

I ignore the papers on the table beside me, they're not important. What's
important is finding the thing that put me here.

Fine, if that+IBk-s the way the brass wants it, that's the way I'll get it
done. One thing's for sure though, once we get the thing that put me and mine
here I'm going to find some way to thank it, personally.

So, I have to become all 'friendly' with these two girls eh? Probably just
some giggley Californian schoolgirls. What do they know of the real world? Not
much, heck, if it weren+IBk-t for projects like the Initiative they'd probably
wind up some HST's main course. 

I'll see them on Monday, after class. Hometown Riley never could do no harm.
I'll have to think about it a bit. Better get some info first.

I reach over to the intercom and flip the switch. "Yeah, this is Agent Finn
in medical, I need the files on two students also residents in Sunnydale.
Names are: Summers, Elizabeth and Rosenberg, Willow. I need that stuff in
under thirty minutes guys, so hop to it."

"Yessir," the intercom blares back. "We'll have it to you in thirty."

"See that you do," I flick the intercom off. What to do until then?

I eye the papers on the table, and, with a sigh grab the one at the top.


***


Getting out of the Initiative is easy. Just say the guard+IBk-s first names,
wave to them and they let me walk right on by without a glance nor a worry.It
was a bit trickier getting in but that wasn't my problem in the first place. 

The sun is well above the horizon by the time I make it to the center of
Sunnydale. Some of the shops are open and my window isn't due for an hour or
so. I spend the time in a bookstore. I browse through some of the more popular
fiction and decide on a paperback reprint of a thriller that came out a few
months ago. I find it very amusing to read horror stories and thrillers now,
considering I know what's really going on. 

Afterwards I sit at the local coffee shop, I think its called the Mocha Pump,
or Mocha Lump maybe. I order a muffin, some coffee and I eat my breakfast
while flipping through the pages of the book. This takes up the rest of the
time before my window arrives. Finally, time to go to work.

I walk briskly across the street, waving to a oncoming car that slows downto
give me time to pass, and enter the phonebooth. I don't need a quarter for
this call. I punch in a long string of numbers that, are not actually a number
the words spelling out are an incantation. We don't use modern technology
alone for our security. 

The tone rings seven times exactly and then I'm disconnected. With the dial
tone buzzing in my ear I say clearly, "It's me. Tell the council, the Slayers
gone feral."

Then I hang up, exit the phone booth. I check my watch; yes I do have time
for another muffin before my first class.



END-Third Lesson

	
	

	


There is only one thing that can damn me.
That can send me down in a swirling maelstrom of fire and pain.
And it is not the word of Man.
And it is not the lessons and rules of the Church, hypocrites every one.
And it is not the words of God, nor the judgements of Angels.
And it not a fair tribunal of my 'peers' that can find me guilty of crimes
immortal.
No. 
I can only be accused, judged and damned by my own Soul.
And I would never be so betrayed.

Mad-Hamlet