FF Children of the Earth (1/10)

["Willow X" <willowxbvsb@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

(Arrrrgghhh! This is my second try! Now you know the truth....I'm an 
idiot!!!)

Hi everyone! I have been a member of this mailing list for about 9 months 
now. I ran into Dan one day on a Board and he convinced me Buffy/Willow was 
the way to go. Boy was he right!!! It is an honor to be in the company of 
such wonderful writers. I have read as much as I could get my hands on and 
love it all. Most of you I have praised individually by email throughout 
the last months, either under this name or my other handle, but I think you 
are all GREAT!!! I am de-lurking now to present to you my very first Fan 
Fiction. I hope you enjoy this Fic as much as I enjoy this list!!

WillowX

Title: Children of the Earth, Chapter 1 of 10
Author: WillowX email at willowxbvsb@xxxxxxxxxxx
Rating: This chapter is R but there is a whole lot of NC-17 stuff coming 
soon
Classification/Pairing: B/W romance
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and UPN. The 
only thing that I own is my laptop and remote control.
Summary: This is my attempt to rewrite Season 6. There are three things I 
hate ?. Weak Buffy, Magic Addicted Willow, and Spuffy! So I?m going to pick 
up where I thought this Season took its dark turn. This story begins at the 
end of ?Wrecked? and contains Spoilers for all Buffy episodes that have 
aired.

Children of the Earth
Chapter 1
Revelations


?It is clear that I must find my other half, but is it a he or a she?
What does this person look like? Identical to me? Or somehow complimentary?
Does my other half have what I don?t? Did he get the looks, the love, the 
luck?
Were we really separated forcibly or did he just run off with the good 
stuff? Or did I?
What about sex? Is that how we get ourselves back together again?
Can two people actually become one ?.again??

Hansel Schmitt
?Hedwig and the Angry Inch?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Here I am?.. alone ???in the dark??. sitting on my bed. The bed that used 
to belong to Joyce, that later belonged to Tara and I, but that now only 
belongs to me. How? How did things get so wrong? Lately all I?ve done is 
bring pain and darkness to the lives of the people I love the most. When 
did I change from fighting evil to being the cause of it? Oh God? I can?t 
breath.

Tonight I almost got Dawn killed. DAWN!!	The person Buffy gave her life to 
save. Oh God Buffy!! I can?t even look at her face anymore. There is so 
much pain hidden behind her eyes. Those beautiful eyes that would light up 
in my presence now shift and hide at the mention of my name. What have I 
done? I?ve lost my best friend forever. Oh God?oxygen?becoming an issue 
again!

I can see her standing in the doorway out of the corner of my eye but I 
can?t bring myself to look at her. Her arms are crossed and she?s staring 
me down. She?s giving me the ?Slayer Stare?. ME!! Maybe I deserve it. 
Maybe I?ve overstayed my welcome. Maybe what I need is a change of scenery. 
Maybe I should say something before her stare burns a whole in my head.

?Is she ok??

?She?s sleeping. That ER Doc gave her something for the pain, it knocked 
her out.? Her voice is monotone. I can?t tell if she is angry, 
disappointed, or hurt.

?But?.. she?s gonna be ok??

?She has a fracture. It?s gonna take some time.?

?God? I?m sorry.. I?m so..? She heard the words but I doubt she understood 
what I truly meant. I was sorry about everything.

?I just don?t understand. I don?t understand why you?d go see somebody like 
Rack and I certainly don?t understand why you?d drag Dawn into it.? 
Anger?. definetly anger. Her voice was cold and unforgiving and her words 
were like daggers piercing my skin. I couldn?t even bring myself to look at 
her.

?I don?t know. The magic, I thought I had it under control. But I didn?t.?

?Your damned right you didn?t. Willow, what were you thinking? What was 
going through your head? Can?t you see it?s hard enough for me as it is? 
Look at me.? She grabbed my shoulders harshly turning my body to face hers, 
? ANSWER ME!!!? She was screaming at me now. This was about to get ugly. 
I don?t know what?s worse, the pounding in my head or the near ballistic 
slayer shacking me. ?WILLOW ANSWER ME!!!? Just then, almost as if all the 
frustration and anger I?d been bottling up was suddenly uncapped¸ I let out 
a scream that could raise the dead.

?STOP SCREAMING AT ME!? She let go of me in frustration or to catch her 
breath for her next outburst, it really didn?t matter which anymore cause 
things had OFFICIALLY gotten ugly.

?SOMEONE HAS TO SCREAM WILL!!! Maybe if I scream loud enough you?d listen!! 
WHAT?S GOING ON? What would posses you to cause such harm to yourself?? to 
me? Is all this because of Tara, because SHE left? ? Our eyes met in an 
old fashion cowboy standoff as she stood before me gripping her hands at her 
sides panting fiercely.

?What the fuck are you implying?? The words came out of my mouth one 
syllable at a time sounding more like a threat than a question. My choice 
in vocabulary visibly shocked her. As soon as she realized I wasn?t going 
down without a fight she paused for a few minutes, mentally searching for 
the best way to continue. Finally, she let out a deep sigh before she began 
to speak again.

?Last time? when Oz left, you went crazy Will.? My eyes widened in 
realization. ?Don?t go acting all innocent on me now, I?ve known you too 
long and the innocent look stopped working for you senior year in High 
school. When Oz left, you let your anger get the best of you and nearly 
became a vengeance demon in the process. Is any of this ringing a bell? 
You are too powerful and too important to me Will. I can?t afford to loose 
you to the dark side, I need you too much. If you choose to continue down 
this path you are going to end up hurting someone, and all the chocolate 
chip cookies in the world you can bake are not going to be able to make it 
better. I?m sorry that you are hurt that Tara left, but I don?t see how 
going to Rack fixes that.? It dawned on me for the first time, she wasn?t 
angry?.she was afraid. What wasn?t clear was if she was afraid of me or of 
loosing me.

?I didn?t go to Rack because Tara left. This is WHY she left. She said I 
was using too much magic. She was right.? I lied. Well? it?s not really a 
lie. It?s a half truth, which would make it a half lie. Uggh? I?m getting 
another headache. The magic IS part of the reason she left, but not THE 
main one. But I?m not about to get into THAT now anyways.

?I couldn?t help it Buffy! It was my way to get away. The magic helps me 
feel alive! The power makes me feel useful.? She paused for a second 
digesting what I had just said. She got a twinge of understanding in her 
eyes and then nodded in vague agreement.

?I get that. But I still don?t understand, it seemed like things were going 
so well for you before.? Her voice is softer now almost a whisper.

?They were. But? I mean? if you could be plain old Willow or Super Willow 
who would you be??

?Will? there is nothing wrong with you. You don?t need magic to be special?

?Don?t I?? Come on Buffy, who was I before magic? Just some girl. Tara 
doesn?t even know that girl.?

?Who were you? I can?t believe you even asked that!!!! You were more than 
?just some girl? . You were my favorite girl!! My best friend. And if 
Tara doesn?t know that girl? well? that?s her loss.?

?This won?t happen again I promise. No more spells I?m finished.?

?Good. I think its right to give it up. No matter how good it makes you 
feel.?

?It?s not worth it. Not if it messes with the people I love.? I looked at 
her as I said this in search of her eyes but she quickly looked away. She 
hates me. I know it.

?Magic wasn?t all that great. I won?t miss the headaches and the nosebleeds 
or the stinky yak cheese in my bra.? Buffy looks at me in confusion. 
?Don?t ask? cause it?s over?

? Well there you go, now I won?t have to. It?s over.?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

I can hear her crying through the walls. She is trying to be quiet but I 
can still hear her. No?.. I can feel her. I can feel her pain. I was so 
angry when I walked in her room today. I can?t remember the last time we 
screamed at each other like that, but I swear I?ll never forget how much 
this time hurt. Right when we had reached the point of no return, two 
seconds away from saying something that would irreparably damage our 
friendship forever, I saw it. Her hands, they were shacking. I looked into 
her eyes and although they were angry?.they were also tired and weak. It 
broke my heart. After a few seconds all I wanted to do was hold her and 
tell her everything was ok. But things were not ok! When did this happen? 
When did Willow and I become the source of each other?s pain?

Its dark outside and I am disgusted. That?s when he comes to me?.at night. 
Every time I close my eyes I feel him? I see him. Why did I let Spike do 
those things to me?

So now I sit in a room full of garlic, listening to my best friend cry, 
disgusted with myself. Disgusted because I?ve been a bad sister, a bad 
slayer, but, worse of all, a very bad friend. The smell is starting to 
consume me and I?m beginning to wonder if the garlic is worse than sleeping 
with Spike. Wait?.scratch that? sleeping with Spike is waaaaaaaaaay worse. 
Oh MY God ? I slept with Spike?. TWICE. Just when I thought I had reached 
the bottom of the barrel I find that there is this whole other barrel of 
shit to sift through. No one can ever know, not even Willow. 
Correction?..especially not Willow. I?ve caused her enough pain as it is. 
She doesn?t need to know that Spike can now hurt me, that he can now touch 
me, and that I came back terribly wrong.

It?s been an hour and she still hasn?t stopped crying. It?s no use trying 
to go to sleep. Too many crazy thoughts are running through my head and the 
sound of Willow?s teary gasps are ripping me apart inside. I?ve been 
thinking about everything she said to me tonight. There was a lot to 
digest. First of all?. Fuck? Where did Willow learn a word like that? 
Wait?. Probably from me!! But? I didn?t like it. It?s not like her. She?s 
been doing a lot of things lately that are not like her?. and so have I for 
that matter.

The way Willow has been misusing magic is unacceptable, but I also realize 
that she has a great gift! She is so very powerful. Plus I love it when 
she goes all Witch Fu?.in a good way of course. It would be a shame to 
throw that away because she has yet to learn to control her self. It just 
doesn?t make sense to me. That?s like if I would have given up the slaying 
just because at first it was hard for me to control my own strength. That?s 
just not the way things work. We don?t quit?.ever! I trained and trained 
until I mastered it. There has to be some sort of Witch training that 
Willow can undergo, something that will teach her to balance her powers. 
I?d call Tara to discuss this but I think the wound is still too fresh. 
Judging from what Willow says, Tara is of the school that believes Willow 
should give it up completely. Oh ?.if only Giles were here.

I miss him so much. Having Giles around always made me feel safe. Not 
because he was strong or anything of the sort. He just always knew what to 
do, and even if he didn?t, he?d pretend he did for my sake. All those years 
I spent making fun of him, what I wouldn?t give to walk back into the 
Library at Sunnydale High. I can almost see us there, I?d be sitting at the 
table as Giles gave us the low down on the latest feature creature while 
meticulously rubbing his glasses, Xander would be making funny, yet, 
unintentional insightful remarks, and Willow?.she?d just be sitting by my 
side with her laptop offering support at a moments notice. Willow was 
always by my side. But then came Tara and with that I lost her. That?s 
when I knew the truth. Seeing her with Tara, the way they walked together, 
held hands, uggghhh I even caught them making out once!!! That?s when I 
knew the truth. Well? actually I?d known the truth for years?.but that?s 
when I allowed myself to admit. I wanted sooo much to be Tara. To wake up 
in Willow?s arms, to taste her lips, to hear her voice whispering sweet 
nothings in my ear. But, AS ALWAYS, I was too late. The train of 
opportunity sat at my station for three years and I never gave it a second 
thought. I assumed it would always be there in case I wanted to ride.

At first I tried to ignore it. Chucked it all up to just a bit of the 
Slayer wanting what she couldn?t have. But?.that day?. on the platform?.my 
last battle with Glory? when I jumped, the face I saw was Willow?s. As I 
was hurdling down towards the huge ball of light, the voice I heard in my 
head was Willow?s. And when I finally closed my eyes before hitting the 
energy, it was Willow?s name I murmured. I knew then the truth?..I loved 
her. But?. it was too late.

Ugggghhhhh?. Willow is still crying. I don?t know how much more of this I 
can take.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The bedroom door creaked open and I froze. I hadn?t stopped crying since 
she left. At first I cried because of what happened with Dawn, then I cried 
for ruining Buffy?s peace in heaven and now I?m crying because it?s the only 
way to deal with the pain. Every molecule in my body is screaming out in 
pain. Screaming for magic. My body needs it so much it hurts. What did 
Rack do to me? I had tried my best to be quite. I really don?t need to go 
another round of twenty questions with the Slayer. But I think I woke her 
up? she must be PISSED.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

?Will are you ok?? I asked concerned. She looked worse than I thought. 
The red head was drenched in sweat, violently gasping for air, and her body 
couldn?t seem to stop shacking. What is wrong with her?

?Buffy.. I?m ?.. I?m sorry I woke you. It?s just that I?.. am in so??much 
pain. I can hardly breathe.?

?That?s ok Will. You didn?t wake me? I?m the Slayer. I?m a night person. 
What do you mean you can?t breathe??

?My hands Buffy. Look at my hands. I can?t stop shaking and my body aches 
all over.?

?What?s wrong with you Will??

?It?s Rack! It?s like my body needs the magic now?.in order to function. 
It?s taking all of my strength to avoid doing a spell. I don?t know how 
much longer I can do this Buffy. I?m in soo much pain. I?m tired and I 
hurt. I can?t?..? Willow broke down crying again. This time her sobs were 
loud and tumultuous. I walked over to the bed and sat next to her, cradling 
her body close to mine. I?ve never seen her like this. I don?t know what 
to do.

?Sssshhhh Sssshhhh. It?s ok Willow. I?m here. You?re strong. You can do 
this. And I?m here for you.? I whisper softly while gently rocking her 
back and fourth running my fingers through her hair. This is beginning to 
soothe her.

?Willow. Everything will be ok. I promise. But you have to promise me 
you?ll try your hardest to be strong. For me. I need my Willow back. ? 
After a few more minutes her crying slowed down to a slight whimpering and I 
began to gently whip the tears from her face. Her eyes are swollen and her 
nose is red?.and still? I can?t help thinking how beautiful she looks.

?Buffy. Can you sleep with me tonight? I don?t want to be alone.?

?Who?.what?huh? Willow? I ? uh ??never ? I don?t know?.? Huh? At this 
point the extent of my thought process is?... HUH?

?Does it freak you out to be on your mom?s bed??

?Whaaa? I ?uh?? Again?? thought process?..HUH?

?What? Sleep Buffy?like that time we slept together when Angel killed my 
fish, remember??

?SLEEP!!!!! OH sure. Ok. Sleep is good. OOhhh I?m tired?.exhausted even. 
Sleeps sounds?.Very good. Sure I?ll stay. My room sorta kinda stinks now 
anyways.? Duhhhhh. Overworked hormones much!!! Stupid Slayer Stupid 
Slayer Stupid Slayer??.

?Stinks???

?It?s a long story?. I?ll tell you in the morning.? OR NEVER. Never is an 
acceptable alternative. Nunca, Nada, Zippo?. Yep that?s when you?ll find 
out. N E V A!

We lay down comfortably on the bed. I took the side closest to the 
door?.cause ?. you know?. Slayer Survival Instincts and all. Willow lay 
close to me, my hand was still stroking her hair. It felt good to run my 
fingers through Willow?s hair. It only took a few minutes before she was 
asleep. Her breathing had calmed and her body jerked only ever so often. 
My brain was on overdrive but I forced myself to relax. This is not the 
first time Willow and I share a bed. Plus, she needs me, she asked me to 
stay.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The first thing I felt was the warm body laying next to me. I thought 
?Mmmmm Tara.? Then I remembered. This shocked my senses. I smelled the 
faint fragrance of raspberries?..BUFFY SMELL. When I opened my eyes Buffy 
was laying facing me? looking at me?.LOOKING AT ME. What the hell?

?Was I snoring or something?? I ask concerned, she looked like she hadn?t 
fallen asleep since she laid here with me. It?s almost time for the sun to 
rise and the room is still dark but I can make out Buffy?s face from the 
street lights outside. She looks just like I feel?.. exhausted.

?No. I was just thinking. Deep thoughts.?

?Like??

?What did you do with all of my moms stuff? I mean, I never got the chance 
to move it and I notice that her closet is full of your stuff. I just? was 
curious.? Wow deep thoughts indeed.

?All of Joyce?s things are in the attic. I couldn?t bring myself to get rid 
of anything. I didn?t think it was my place and I didn?t want to bother 
Dawn with it. So I just put it away.?

?Oh.? She looked pleased with the response but then got that far off look 
again on her face.

?What are you thinking about now??

?Why didn?t you put my stuff in the attic too? you know?.when I died?? I 
flinch when I hear the question coming out of her mouth. Jeez? I should 
have known?.when Buffy gets deep thoughts they are usually profound 
bottomless caverns of despair. I take a few minutes to collect my thoughts 
before I begin.

?Well. Um?.. I?..uh?

?Was it because you were always planning to resurrect me??

?No.?

?No? What do you mean ?No? ?? She almost looks disappointed.

?When you ?? I pause for a moment to gather my strength and let out a long 
deep sigh?. haven?t we had enough deep conversations for one night? I 
really don?t want to talk about this, but it is beginning to be abundantly 
clear that we will not be able to continue our friendship until we do. I?m 
sick and tired of the huge pink elephant that has been sitting in on me and 
Buffy since she came back.

?When you died, Buffy, we didn?t know what to do. At first, I couldn?t 
accept it. It was such a horrible feeling. I rode with your body in the 
ambulance to the hospital. I didn?t cry. I just sat there staring at your 
covered body waiting for you to move. Waiting for you to sit up and say 
?Gotcha!? or ?Did we win?? or ?Let?s go for pizza?. But you didn?t. I 
stayed in the hospital the whole night, sitting outside the door to the 
morgue, I just couldn?t ?. I couldn?t bring myself to leave you there all 
alone. It wasn?t until Tara found me there the next morning and forced me to 
go home that I left.? I paused a minute to breath. I hadn?t told anyone 
about my night in the hospital only Tara knew where I had been.

?The following day, when it all sunk in, Giles fell apart. But I mean 
really fell apart, in a totally un-British sort of way. He kept blaming his 
poor Watcher skills for your death. I didn?t know at the time, but months 
later he broke down and told me about the talk you both had before that last 
battle with Glory. He never forgave himself for the things he said to you. 
Dawn was inconsolable and with reason, Joyce had died only a few months 
before and now she had lost you. She blamed herself for your death as well, 
saying that it should have been her that jumped off the scaffold. Xander 
was in a haze. I hadn?t seen Xander cry since his sixth birthday with that 
freaky clown. But he cried for you Buffy. He cried for you. Even Spike 
cried. Everybody blamed themselves for your death.?

?And you??

?Remember how you got when Joyce died? Automatic-Pilot-Buffy? Well? I sort 
of did the same thing. With everyone else in their own personal dimensions 
of hell it was up to me to make the arrangements. In order to avoid loosing 
Dawn I decided only to tell those closest to you that knew of your Slayer 
status. I called Angel and Cordelia. They were devastated. I planned your 
funeral. No wake? just like Joyce?s, I thought that was what you would have 
liked. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I picked out your 
outfit, your coffin, your headstone, and the writing on it as well.? I 
hadn?t noticed but somewhere in the middle of my story tears started 
streaming down my face, one after the other, all taking the same wet path.

?I thought planning everything was hard? but burying you was the hardest. I 
felt like part of me, the best part, had died with you. Tara and I moved in 
right away to take care of Dawn. That?s when the nightmares began. Every 
day I dreamt that you were being tortured by all the demons you had killed. 
Every night was different and every night was the same. The Master, The 
Mayor, Adam?. all of them Buffy? they were all there?.torturing you. That?s 
when I decided I couldn?t leave you there. I should of known Buffy?. I?m 
sorry! I am soooo sorry! If anyone deserved to be in heaven it was you?. 
But to be quite honest the thought never occurred to me. I would only hear 
your voice in my dreams?..begging for me to save you.? At this point tears 
were streaming down her face as well. Her eyes were full of compassion and 
understanding. As if she understood for the first time why I did what I 
did, as if she imagined if the roles had been reversed she probably would 
have done the same thing.

?I could never bring myself to pack up your room. Everything still smelled 
like you, reminded me of you. Sometimes being in your room was the only 
thing that brought me peace. To see your things, your pictures, it brought 
me peace. What I did? it was selfish?.but I did it wholeheartedly, with the 
best intentions, believing I was saving you.?

And then, as if she was only waiting for me to stop talking, she moved in 
really close. The distance between us was such that I could feel the warmth 
of her breath on my lips. Her tear filled eyes wouldn?t drop my gaze. She 
cupped my face with her hands brushing away random tears with her thumbs. We 
stayed like this for a few seconds speaking volumes with our eyes. The 
longer we looked at each other the harder it was becoming to look away, and 
just when I thought that was all we were going to do, she leaned in closer 
and kissed my lips. The explosion of emotions that followed next was nerve 
deafening. The first thing I tasted was her warm salty tears mingled with 
the soft texture of her mouth. God she tasted good. I let out a small 
whimper as I parted my lips a little wider. Her tongue slowly and sexily 
danced its way into my mouth, licking and nipping at my lips along the way. 
When it finally found my tongue the second burst of mind blowing emotions 
hit. Almost simultaneously her hand began traveling down my neck on a path 
between my breasts leaving a hot trail of goose bumps behind until it 
reached my belly button. It was there where it made its ninety degree turn 
and headed up the side of my hip and behind me until it reached its intended 
destination?..my ass. She squeezed my cheek gently and with one swift move 
pulled our bodies closer together meshing our hips. My body was on pins and 
needles, nothing had ever felt this great and for a minute I thought that 
all these years I?d been doing it ALL wrong. That?s when I felt it, Buffy 
shuttered in my arms. She was having the same responses that I was and her 
shutter was that of surprise. This was new to her too.

When we finally parted breathlessly, I looked into her eyes again, they were 
still teary but no longer sad. I stayed looking at her for a few seconds 
until I figured out the emotion being conveyed?. I understood for the first 
time and just before I had a chance to say anything she whispered to me, ?I 
know! I?ve always known?? she grabbed my hand and placed it on her heart 
?here. I?ve always known here?. in my heart?. and so have you.?

I move closer to her forcing her to lay on her back. Then I position my 
body half on top of hers and lay my head right on her chest, above her 
heart, where my hand had just been. I could hear her heart beat, the heart 
that has ?always known?. I wrap my arm around her waist and squeeze her 
ever so slightly. She feels like home to me?. I am finally home. I can?t 
believe this is really happening and before my brain has a chance to catch 
up, she said it? ?I love you Willow.?

I closed my eyes as fresh warm tears squeezed out. The sound of her heart 
beat was like a beautiful melody. Like a song that my soul so desperately 
needed to hear and learn the words too. By the time I open my eyes to reply 
to her confession it was too late. The mighty Slayer had finally fallen 
asleep beneath me. Day break was perhaps a few hours away, we had just 
enough time to enjoy a nap. Tomorrow I will tell her the truth?..all of it.

To be continued in Chapter 2



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