FIC: To Thine Own Self Be True 9/?

["wizathogwarts" <mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title - To Thine Own Self Be True 9/?
By mike (mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx) 
SPOILERS: Season 1, Welcome to the Hellmouth and The Harvest.
RATING: R. It is a Buffy/Willow fic that includes smoochies, 
caressing and mystical intimacy. 
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to 
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. 
FEEDBACK: Constructive comments are encouraged. 
SUMMARY: (Buffy/Willow) Buffy and Willow deal with Mom.
Authors Notes: 

To Thine Own Self Be True
Chapter 9
Acceptance


I went to get out of my dust encrusted clothes, vamp dust and holy 
water made for a combination that was slowly eating my clothes 
away. I was out of them just as we heard mom coming in the door 
down stairs.

"You go take a shower and I'll let your mom know we're here and find 
out what's going on." Willow told me as she gave my hand a squeeze, 
not wanting to come in contact with my clothes. I was so anxious to 
get out of my clothes before they disintegrated that I had just 
ripped them off in front of Willow. She was doing her best not to 
stare, but failing miserably. I knew if our positions had been 
reversed that I would have been all over her. "See anything you 
like." I asked her coquetishly.

"Oh yes, but please go before I do something that your mom kills us 
for." She pleaded with her scrunhy eyes that I just love.

I grinned at her and darted into the bathroom waggling my bare 
bottom before mom could come up stairs to see what we were doing.

<do you mind letting me eavesdrop?> I asked her as I was stepping 
into the shower.

<not at all, but I'm beginning to think you're a bit of a voyeur.> 
she thought back teasingly.

<only with you love, only with you.> I assured her.

<"Hello Willow, I'm glad you're home. Where's Buffy.>" 

<"She's upstairs taking a shower."> 

<"What have you been up to that Buffy needs a shower"> Mom was 
instantly suspicious.

<"I think Buffy wants to let you know herself. She should be down in 
a couple of minutes."> Willow tried heading her off.

<"OK, but I'm going to want full details. In the meantime, would 
you like to help me get dinner ready?">

<quick thinking will> As I was washing encrusted dust from my hair. 
<but how much do you think we should fill her in on>

<lets tell her everything, especially how we carefully planned 
everything and how well it all worked out.>

<we also need to be very clear about what these vamps would have 
done if we hadn't stopped them. That should help convince her.>

I arrived down stairs in time to help Willow finish setting the 
table. Mom asked us how school was and told us about her day at the 
gallery, keeping things light until we finished eating. After 
cleaning up, everything washed and put away it was time.

"Let's take this into the living room girls." Mom said before we 
could escape upstairs.

"Sure mom." I replied with resignation.

Willow and I sat on the couch and Willow grasped my hand for 
comfort. Mom noticed and couldn't suppress a tiny smile.

"So tell me what you've been up to with your extracurricular 
activities, and don't leave anything out." She said and leaned back 
into the arm chair across from us with a look of expectation.

We took turns informing her of our discovering about the harvest, we 
let her know about Giles being a Watcher and his help in uncovering 
what the harvest was, going into explicit detail what the vamps 
would have done had we not stopped them. Then we told her in detail 
how we planned the ambush and how we executed it perfectly.

"There's something missing here." She said leaning forward.

"Uh, what do you mean, what's missing." I asked her in confusion.

"For this ambush to work, you had to be able to know where, how many 
and when these vampires would be arriving. You failed to say how 
you were able to do this Buffy. I asked you to not leave anything 
out. If you want my trust and cooperation, you had better tell me 
all." She was looking from one of us to the other, carefully gauging 
the looks on our faces. When she saw us nod at each other and turn 
back towards her, she knew she was about to get her way.

I started off explaining about the limited demon sense I had as a 
slayer. Then I elaborated with a truthful but edited account of 
Merrick's instructions of finding one with power to increase my 
abilities. Willow helped me explain how we figured out that it was 
her that would help me and we explained the process of the power 
sharing, leaving out the kissing and sensual attributes of the 
power, and how we had expanded the sense to the demonscape that we 
were both able to share.

When we finished, mom just sat there for several minutes. We could 
tell she was processing and we were getting more nervous every 
second.

<i wish she would say something> I could feel Willow's nervousness 
like a rough blanket.

<me too, but trust me. This is better. When she takes time to 
think, it means she doesn't want to say the wrong thing. She 
understands this is important.> I tried to reassure her.

"If you're able to mentally share this image of the area around you 
up to a mile away, what else are you able to share?" It was scary 
how her mind worked.

<gotta tell her> I let Willow know.

<i know, I just hope she doesn't faint again>

"Willow and I are able to communicate mentally, like telepathy. We 
are also able to share what we are hearing and seeing with each 
other when we want." I explained.

"So you've been carrying on silent conversations between yourselves 
while we've been having these little talks? Is that correct?" She 
asked us intensely.

"Yes mom." I replied meekly.

"I thought I was going crazy, you two were just way to coordinated. 
I couldn't understand it. But now it makes sense. It also tells me 
that you two don't have some adolescent puppy love going on here, 
this is serious between you two, which makes it all the more 
important for you to take things slowly and not rush the physical 
aspect of a relationship before you develop your friendship and the 
emotional bonds you'll need to help you get through life together." 
Mom had gone into full lecture mode and we had no choice but to sit 
back and listen.

"I am tempted to not let you sleep in the same bed together from 
here on out, but I'm not going to do that." She said noticing the 
panic start to spread across our faces.
She allowed relief to replace our panic, then proceeded.

"I'm not going to do that because you've trusted me and I am going 
to trust you. If you break this trust and escalate your physical 
relationship before you're ready, you're not going to like my 
solution. Understand?" Her face was total determination.

"Yes, we understand." We both replied in unison.

"Good, because you both look so cute cuddled up together, I would 
hate to break you two apart. So don't do anything to make me do so." 
She stated with finality.

Then mom gave us both a big smile and stood up with out stretched 
arms and we got up and hugged her together. Her arms wrapping 
around both of us. She kissed each of us on the cheek.

"Now off with you both, but tomorrow we'll talk some more about the 
conditions I want in place for you to continue with slaying. Until 
then I expect you to inform me if anything comes up that requires 
you to slay before then." She didn't even ask if we understood. 
Trying to say we misunderstood her later wouldn't work and just make 
things worse. We had to play with mom's rules or not play at all.

We went up to my room and closed the door. I had an idea that I 
wanted to work on, and it's not that, though that would be nice, but 
we were under mom orders, and there would be none of that physical 
stuff, but she didn't say anything about the mystical. Now my idea 
does have to do with the mystical, just not the kind we did last 
night. No my idea had to do with the probability that Willow's 
mystical abilities were more broad than mine, just like my physical 
abilities were greater than hers. So my theory was that like I 
could focus in on demons, Willow might be able to focus on people, 
like Giles, and possibly do some eavesdropping. I had opened myself 
to Willow as I began this thought process and she paid rapt 
attention as I did my own version of Willow babble. I could see the 
light in her eyes brighten at the possibilities I was suggesting.

"That sounds incredible, let's try it." She said with a little 
bounce.

"This is going to be big mojo, I think we need to build up some real 
energy before we try it, don't you think?" I grinned at her with a 
gleam in my eye.

"Absolutely, and we better start right away." She threw here arms 
around my neck and captured my lips with hers. In moments we were 
playing with the ebbing forces moving about us. <follow them to the 
source while I draw them out.> I told her. 

While I continued to draw and manipulate the energy between us, part 
of me was following her along powerful waves of gold and blue 
light. They seemed to be coming from a giant fountain in the middle 
of a great space with swirling lights all around, like fireflies. 
Willow dipped her thoughts delicately into the fountain, like 
testing the water with a toe. I felt such a rush of energy course 
through her and us. Willow let the energy fill us and then withdrew 
from the well returning to me. Once she was back, the energy took 
on a different quality. It was richer, warmer and even more vibrant 
than before. I felt her offer me little morsels like candy and I 
tasted them with my mind. As we both fed on the tasty power, Willow 
focused on Giles and I felt our perceptions seeking him out. In a 
few moments, we were in a dark room lit only by a desk lamp. Below 
us was Giles sitting at the desk, writing in long hand into a 
journal. We approached closer to see what he was writing. 

But what is most extraordinary is the relationship of these two 
remarkable young women. After my experiences with them the last 
couple of days, I won't allow myself to ever think of them as just 
girls. I am still sensitive to majiks from my early rebellious days 
when I delved too deeply into the dark powers. I expected to sense 
the power from Buffy, after all, the slayer is imbued with great 
mystical roots, but I did not expect to feel power emanating from 
young Willow, a power that was clean and pure. And then I sensed 
their powers enter twining, being shared. I only wish I knew if it 
was conscious. In any case, these two are a remarkable force 
against evil. And after Buffy's question about serving the fight 
against evil or the orders of the council, I am loathe to share my 
observations with the Council. I have prepared a concise 
description of the facts leading up to and stopping the harvest, 
leaving out all details of Willow's involvement and my actual 
assistance in the ambush. This censored version is what I am 
sending as my report to the Council. Buffy and Willow both seem 
convinced that fighting evil and serving the Council are mutually 
exclusive. I will take her advice and research the Council and 
without their knowledge. I remember rumors from my days in 
training, but I thought that they were just stories meant to spook 
the young chaps. I get the feeling that the reason for the 
existence of the Council may not be what we are told. I will need 
to call on some very old acquaintances to discover the true reason's 
that brought about the Council of Watcher's. And if the supposed 
reason is to battle evil, why is so much energy devoted to watching 
adolescent girls with the goal of keeping them on a tight leash. I 
remember very clearly, "A Watcher assigned a slayer, must make 
certain that the slayer conform to all Council directives. Failure 
by the Watcher will be cause for the Watcher's immediate dismissal. 
Failure by the slayer due to willful behavior can result in the 
slayers replacement." There's only one way to replace a slayer, and 
I'll be damned if they try and do that to probably the bravest, most 
remarkable young woman I have ever known.

We all of a sudden heard my mother's voice, "Buffy, Willow. What's 
wrong. Please answer me." We could hear the fear in her voice and 
immediately returned to our physical location, and slowly parted 
with a sigh. We then turned to my mom.

"What's up mom. You sound frightened." I asked staring at her 
startled expression.

"Buffy, you and Willow were embracing, kissing and when I called to 
you and it was if you were in a trance. That's what frightened me. 
I thought something had happened to the two of you." 

I could see her face changing from fear to exasperation. Had to 
head her off before anger showed up.

"Mom, its ok. It's just the most efficient way for Willow and I to 
build the energy between us when we go exploring the mystical 
countryside. We are perfectly safe." I tried to assure her.

"And you failed to mention this little detail why?" She was moving 
into attack mode.

"Joyce, we just felt some of the details were a little personal and 
private. We really didn't think you wanted details about our 
smoochies, which by the way are very personal with us, and we would 
like to keep at least something for ourselves." Willow was trying to 
divide my mom's focus and I was hoping it would work.

I could see my mom hesitate. She took a breath and started thinking. 
<you got her thinking willow, we might just survive this yet.>

We stood quietly waiting as if she were a jury about to announce 
their verdict.

"You're right Willow. But do you understand why I was frightened. 
Other people don't go into trances when they kiss. I may have 
spoken hastily, but will you please let me know when you're going to 
do something that might cause me to panic, just so I'll know not to? 
Can you do that for me Buffy, Willow?" She reached out and gave each 
of our shoulders a little squeeze.

"Yes mom, advance warning before going on any magical mystery tour." 
I gave her my best smile and Willow practically knocked her out with 
the brightness of her smile. I could almost see her eyes glaze over 
as she looked back at Willow with a silly grin.

"By the way, what did you want us for?" I asked her.

"Oh, I made hot cocoa. Its waiting downstairs with miniature 
marshmallows." She exclaimed.

"Woopee!" As we dashed around my mom, I took the lead at the top of 
the stairs and I felt willow jump on my back and wrap her legs 
around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. "You're not losing 
me slayer." She giggled in my ear as I adjusted for her weight and 
sped for the kitchen.

Mom joined us in the kitchen to see us with happy chocolate mustache 
faces. Sighing contentedly, with giggles accompanying sly looks at 
each other.

"Do you think I'm being cruel by not letting, uhhh consummate your 
relationship?" Mom's face showed real concern. Maybe she was having 
second thoughts.

<do you think she's being cruel?> I asked Willow quietly.

<no, she's not being cruel. She's just being a mother which I 
really miss. I do think a lot about touching you and being touched 
by you and can't see anything wrong with us doing so. It's not like 
we're going to be a one night stand or anything. I hope I'm not 
jumping to conclusion's here, but this just feels like forever, 
doesn't it?> she finished with just a touch of insecurity.

<it's ok will, I feel the same way. As far as I'm concerned, you're 
stuck with me for life 'cause I am completely, absolutely forever in 
love with you.> I looked her right in the eye and smiled, wanting 
really to kiss her.

We looked at mom and saw that she was watching our faces as we were 
having our semiprivate conversation.

"The unanimous answer to your question is no, we don't think your 
being cruel." I kept the smile on my face.

"You're just being a mom, which I kinda miss a lot." Willow added 
with a shy smile of her own.

"But," We both said simultaneously and giggled.

I continued by myself, "We connect in so many ways, ways that other 
couples never connect in that it's not something that's driving us 
crazy to do, it would just be nice to be able to be fully intimate. 
It's pretty obvious to us at least that we're soul mates, and not 
just in a cutsey way. We wouldn't be able to join mystically and 
mentally the way we do if we weren't. There is no one else in the 
entire world who could complete each of us the way we do for each 
other. We're going to be together for the rest of our lives, and 
possibly even into the next ones as well. We can be patient if it 
makes you feel better mom." Willow and I both reached across the 
table top and squeezed mom's hands reassuringly.

She started shaking her head "Amazing. I was imposing restraint 
because I didn't believe that you two were mature enough to 
comprehend the responsibility of a completely intimate 
relationship. I apologize. You not only comprehend it, you accept 
it better than anyone ever could." She paused for a moment and to 
take a breath. "OK, I rescind my previous request. All I ask is 
that you continue to be discrete, at least until you're both 
eighteen. And I would appreciate personally not seeing or hearing 
anything potentially embarrassing." She squeezed our hands back and 
smiled affectionately at each of us.

"And Willow, I have a request for you. It occurred to me that even 
though you may never legally be so, you are in fact my daughter in 
law. So, it wouldn't bother me in the least if you just happen to 
call me mom too." Mom's eyes were misting up something fierce and a 
tear was beginning to form in the corner of one eye.

All of a sudden a huge sob broke from Willow and she began to cry. 
My mother, got up and came around the table and wrapped her arms 
around Willow, gently cooing and stroking her soft red hair. I 
watched this wonderful scene and felt myself start to cry as Willow 
buried her head in mom's chest and just continued to let out all her 
grief and longing until she finally stilled and with a few sniffles, 
pulled her head back and said "Thanks mom, I would like that very 
much."

Mom kissed her cheek. "All right, finish up your cocoa and off to 
bed with the two of you. It is a school night after all."

We finished our cocoa's with happy faces all around and with hugs 
and kisses we went off to our bed, Willow holding my hand tightly.

We did not "consummate our relationship" that night. It had been an 
exhausting and long day after all, but after undressing to get into 
our night clothes, somehow we never quite made it into said night 
clothes, requiring lots of snuggling for warmth, and much warmth was 
had, oh yeah.