Snippet: The Second Kiss

["sochankitsune" <annelise@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

*hug*

Anne-Lise,
Overworked and underpaid.

--

It was the first kiss that destroyed her. The unexpectedness of it 
as the tears flowed like sweetest wine, as grief was shared and 
expressed. The hug; Was it from love or pity? Neither knew, and yet 
somehow it didn't matter. Nothing seemed to matter just then.
The hug was bittersweet; a sharing of warmth for friendships 
shattered, loved ones lost. Their friendship had barely endured the 
trials of the past weeks. Ashes to ashes. Hello darkness, my old 
friend.
And yet she'd been saved. She thought she'd lost everything when 
Tara had died. All the good in her soul, her life. But it was Xander 
that'd pulled her from the brink, and strangely it was the tempered 
steel of Dawn's love that kept her resolve from crumbling. She'd 
grieved, and Buffy'd been there for her, helping her through, keeping 
her from the abyss' call.
They shared a bed. "Nothing sexual!" Buffy had grinned, 
humourlessly. Simply a need to not be alone. And after all, who else 
was there? And they hugged before they slept. It seemed natural 
enough. Except that somehow the hug became a kiss; a kiss 
reciprocated.
Almost as soon as it had started, as Willow first felt the press of 
Buffy's mouth and tongue against her own, they'd broken apart in 
guilt and embarrassment.
"I'm sorry," Willow had breathed, having betrayed both her friend 
and the memory of her lover.
"No," Buffy had replied. "That was both of us." Her eyes showed a 
hint of remorse and something else. The air was malleable with 
uncertainty.
They slept, troubled.

*

Neither slept well. Thoughts and burdens played upon them both, and 
Willow, haunted and horny, pressed her mouth against Buffy's as 
though somehow she could awaken the passion within the Slayer by the 
power of her need alone.
Buffy waited until Willow realised she was being unresponsive, and 
with a single tear tracking her cheeks, the Slayer rose and left the 
bedroom.

*

I'd love to say things turned out well. That Buffy came around and 
returned to her Willow. Yet the truth is that Buffy left the house 
and turned in for her shift at the Doublemeat, leaving Willow 
brooding, guilt-ridden and crushed with remorse.
But as for the future, that remains a book unwritten.
Who can tell?