FIC: To Thine Own Self Be True 13/?

["wizathogwarts" <mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx>]

Title - To Thine Own Self Be True 13/?
By mike (mcronin24@xxxxxxxxx) 
SPOILERS: Season 1, up through episode 3, The Witch.
RATING: R. It is a Buffy/Willow fic that includes smoochies, 
caressing and mystical intimacy and violence. 
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to 
Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. 
FEEDBACK: Constructive comments are encouraged. 
SUMMARY: (Buffy/Willow) Buffy and Willow get a few surprises of 
their own.
Authors Notes: There was a lot going on here so I decided it 
deserved two chapters.

To Thine Own Self Be True
Chapter 13
The Witch and the Dark


Monday morning and anticipation was a cold lump in our stomachs of 
what was waiting for us at school after our confrontation Friday 
night with Cordy's chumps. But that realization wouldn't rear its 
ugly head for a while yet. Why, you ask? If you had woken up next 
to an angel, would you let anything as trivial as total societal 
expulsion bother you? Well at least not until we were completely 
awake, that is. I just wasn't sure what I would or could do if my 
threat to Rick backfired.

We were in the last days of winter, just a couple of weeks before 
spring in sunny southern California, and while the morning was cool, 
the day promised warmth and called for shorts and light spring 
tops. Willow and I were about the same size, so I had her dressed 
in some of my over abundance provided by a guilty father. Willow's 
alabaster legs looked incredible in olive shorts and a light gray T 
which left her incredibly delicious belly button exposed to my 
wanton glances. It was those wanton glances that convinced Willow 
to overcome her natural desire to be unnoticed. I dressed in white 
shorts with a baby blue halter hoping to give her something to 
appreciate. We were a block from school before we actually 
remembered about Friday night and the possible repercussions that 
could occur today.

"Buffy, you know what I'm really worried most about?" She looked 
over at me, her eyes showed her concern.

I stopped when I saw her look and gently took her hand. "No, I don't 
know, but you know you can tell me."

"Xander, and to a lesser extent Jesse. I'm afraid that they may 
take advantage of the situation and become what they've always 
claimed they've hated." She spoke softly and I new instantly that 
her concerns were well founded.

"I see your point. We should try and talk with them ASAP, before 
they do something we'll all regret." I gave her hand a squeeze and 
we continued walking, intent on finding Xander before class started.

We had entered the main building, and started towards the Library 
when I heard. "Yea, those creeps know better than to mess with us." 
Xander's voice froze us both.

Willow ran forward grabbing Xander's arm and yanked him away from 
the fortunately still small group that he had been bragging to.

I came up behind her as she started to lay into him. "Xander, are 
you six years old? Are you mentally retarded, no strike that, 
someone mentally retarded would never do something so stupid."

"What, what's wrong Will. What did I do?" Xander had his hands up, 
shaking them, totally clue less.

Willow was speaking very quietly, but forcefully. "You have been 
given a get out of jail free card, and the first thing you do is go 
taunt the jailers. Next thing you know, you'll go up and tweak 
Rick's nose." She finished with the sarcasm just dripping from her 
tongue.

Xander's face began to show some understanding, but it was like 
watching the sunrise. The light dawns slowly. And I think I 
finally understood the saying 'always darkest before the dawn'.

"Now listen to me. You will just keep your mouth shut about Friday 
night. You will make sure Jesse keeps his trap shut too. If you 
don't, I'll ask Buffy to tell Rick to withdraw your protection. Do 
you hear me. "She punctuated each of the last four words by poking 
her finger into his chest.

"Do you understand Mr. big shot can't keep his mouth shut Harris." 
Willow demanded with finality.

"Uhh, yea Will, gotcha." Xander looked over her head at me standing 
there. I nodded my head, letting him know I'd do it. I'd do it if 
Willow really asked me to, but I knew she never would. She just 
needed to scare him. Xander didn't know how to react in the vacuum 
of not being afraid, so Willow just refilled the vacuum with 
something for him to be afraid of.

"Good, make sure Jesse understands also." She turned to look at me 
and winked so that Xander couldn't see. I glared at Xander. "Don't 
blow it."

"I'll take care of Jesse right away." He stammered out and then took 
off in search of the other half of his wit.

<hey willow, remind me never to get you pissed off at me>

<i would, but then I would miss out on the making up> she grinned 
mischievously.

I walked into history class right behind Willow and immediately 
caught Cordelia's stare. She had apparently been watching for us. 
Her face flushed with rage as she first saw us. I couldn't see 
Willow's face, being behind her, but I could tell Cordy wasn't 
getting any reaction out of her. Especially when Willow looked back 
at me with a smile, "Looks like someone's having a bad day."

I smiled back at her and then turned cold eyes while maintaining the 
smile right at Cordy as we took our seats. From there on out, we 
pretty much ignored her and everyone else. 'Till the end of that 
class at least.

Willow and I were just heading to the cafeteria for lunch when we 
noticed Xander standing in front of the Main Bulletin Board.

"Hey Will, Buffy. Check it out. Cheer leader tryouts." Xander 
wasn't even trying to conceal his hormonal enthusiasm.

"Why the interest Xander, thinking of trying out?" Willow teased him.

"No way, I just thought you guys would be as interested as I am in 
the jumping, bouncing scantily clad ladies." He offered, starting to 
sound a little defensive.

"But Xander, we can see that just by jumping around in our undies in 
front of each other." I said completely innocently. Willow nearly 
choked trying not to laugh.

Xander's eyes glazed over until Willow punched him in the arm, 
then "Hey, don't blame me, it was Buffy's fault." He responded with 
mock pain.

Willow quickly regaining her composure, "Well we could keep you 
company at the try outs, you know, just so you don't look too out of 
place." Her voice properly supportive.

"That'd be great! If you don't mind too much. If it's just me and 
Jesse, we could get some bad looks, you know." Now he was 
embarrassed.

<willow, you really do want to go, don't you?> I thought with 
ripples of amusement.

<well sorta, it's like i've suppressed my desires for so long, I 
just want to take them out for a spin.> She responded with mild 
humor.

<just as long as your spinning with me.> I reminded her.

<not a problem lover. As for xander I so don't want him thinking 
that we like checking out scantily clad girls as much as they do.> 
Willow's thoughts carried a little shiver.

<uh willow, as much as they do?> I teased her.

<well, differently. Our enjoyment is more appreciation of the female 
as an art form.> She offered in defense.

<Ahh, so our enjoyment is strictly intellectual, is that what you're 
saying?> I wrap my thoughts in a teasing package.

<well if yours are, so are mine.> she answered carefully.

<how about we just go and watch and discuss it later tonight..." I 
left the trailing thought to tease her along and end her sudden 
discomfort. I was just realizing that even though Willow has shown 
herself to be sexually aggressive with me, it had only been a week 
since she acknowledged her attraction for women, even to herself. 
It was unfair of me to expect her to be as comfortable with her 
feelings as I am having had years being aware of my orientation.

She looked at me and saw the warm, gentle smile I had to try and 
convey my understanding.

<thanks buffy. You do understand, don't you?> She responded with a 
smile of her own.

<not as often as I would like, but with you it's a lot easier.> I 
then winked.

"So Xander, say when and where and we'll be your chaperones." We had 
hopefully disarmed him and headed off any sharing he may have been 
planning at the prospect of watching cheerleaders with his 'lesbian' 
buds.

"The tryouts are after school at 3:15 in the gym. Wanna meet out 
front?" He was back to excited. I was just remembering how easily 
he reverts to hormonal control.

"Just don't embarrass us Xander." Willow chided him semi seriously.

We picked up sandwiches and soda's, then headed for the library for 
our meeting with Giles.

We were comfortably seated at the main table half way through our 
sandwiches when Giles walked in from the back office.

"Good news. The council has approved the training facility. Last 
week I discovered a perfect facility for our purposes. It's only a 
couple of blocks from here. The contractors will begin work tomorrow 
and should be finished by the end of the following week with the 
modifications." He was practically beaming.

"Did they approve everything on the list?" Willow asked with 
emphasis on everything.

"Ah, yes they did, though they did question the weight equipment. I 
told them it was to help build stamina." He didn't have a clue 
either, but he gets points for creativity.

"We'll tell you if you promise to keep it to yourself." I said 
between mouthfuls of turkey on rye.

"You mean don't let the council know?" He asked cautiously.

"Precisely. And anyone else who could possibly reveal it to the 
council." I clarified.

"Why would you not want the council to know? This information could 
be used to help future slayers." He was truly curious and clue less.

"It could also be used to harm future slayers. We just don't feel 
it's in the best interest of myself and future slayers for the 
council to have anymore insight than they already have into the 
makeup of a slayer." I summed up.

"OK, you have my word. The council will not know your reasons for 
the equipment from me." He promised solemnly.

I looked at Willow, giving her the go ahead to explain. It was her 
theory, so she's the one that should explain it.

"After Buffy gave me some demonstrations of how strong she was, I 
had her do some experiments. Buffy is right handed. In a normal 
person, a right handed person's right arm is stronger than their 
left arm. If Buffy's strength is completely mystical, there should 
be no difference between the strength of her left and right arms. 
Well, there is a difference. Buffy's right arm is 5% stronger than 
her left. This is a clear indication that her strength is not 
solely mystical, but augmented mystically. Weight training should 
make her even stronger. Along with martial arts and gymnastics, she 
could be the strongest slayer ever." She finished her explanation 
with a satisfied grin.

I decided to clear up some other points for him. "The council has 
focused slayer training on weapons and some martial arts. Their 
focus was to get the slayer to rely on speed and agility to overcome 
stronger opponents. The result of this was, every slayer eventually 
met an opponent that was too strong for speed and agility alone. 
True?" I finished with the pointed question.

"Yes, that is true. Most slayers have been taken in solitary combat 
with stronger, more experienced master vampires." He confirmed.

"What's the longest any slayer has ever lived?" I now demanded.

"Well, for as long as records have been kept, one slayer called at 
the age of 13, lasted 8 years. There was one called at 16 who 
lasted nearly 6 years. But the average is about 2 years." He 
finished softly, his voice barely a whisper.

"And master vamps are hundreds of years old, having lots of time to 
develop their skills. While all but a handful of young girls make 
it past their 18th birthday." I watched his face carefully as I said 
this last part.

As I finished speaking, he glanced at me quickly and then away, 
pulling his glasses off with one hand and pulling a handkerchief out 
to wipe the lenses with his other. 

"Ahh, that does appear to be the case." Nervousness seemed to 
undermine his composure.

"So, what are your feeling's about helping me to live past my 18th 
birthday." I asked him carefully, my desire to know if we could 
trust him was making me less cautious. I could feel Willow's fear 
mixed with her own desire to know. We both knew the possible 
consequences of guessing wrong with the watcher.

"I will of course do everything I can to prepare you for your 
duties, to assist you in any way I can." He responded evasively.

"Are you prepared to deceive the council in their efforts to kill 
Buffy?" Willow had had enough. The threat that accompanied her 
words set Giles back on his heels.

"I I I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. Why would the 
council want to kill Buffy?" His face actually showed fear.

"Cruciamentum." Willow literally hissed the word at him, her fear 
causing her to throw caution to the winds.

"O'Lord, dear lord." Giles stepped forward and collapsed into a 
chair.

This meeting had diverged on a path none of us had expected, but 
maybe we should have as soon as we started to discuss survival and 
slayer longevity. Giles hadn't known that we knew that the council 
itself was responsible for the majority of slayer deaths. Not the 
demons they face. All the preparation in the world could hardly 
prepare you for betrayal. And complicity in betrayal is what was 
just thrown in Giles's face.

"How, how did you know?" He gasped in an emotion laden voice.

"Does it really matter how we know that it's actually the council 
that kills most slayers?" I responded firmly, with steel in my 
words. He hadn't demonstrated anything worthy of compassion as of 
yet, only sorrow at being discovered.

"I suppose not. But I'm still not sure what you want to hear. Will 
I deceive the council? I suppose I would if I could, but I don't 
see how it's possible." He explained defeated.

"Giles, how has your investigation of the council progressed. Find 
anything yet?" I softened my words at this hopeful concession.

"Actually, I'm expecting something by the end of the week. I just 
don't know how revealing it will be." He explained, taking a big 
breath halfway through.

"Do you have any intention of revealing to anyone our awareness of 
the cruciamentum?" I asked while staring determinedly into his eyes.

"No, I don't even want to contemplate what would happen if that got 
out. I thought that I could just ignore the bloody test and deal 
with it in a couple of years. I'd prefer to just go back to that 
blissful state of ignorance." There was no deceit in his eyes, no 
twitch to any part of his face. I'm sure he could lie, but not so 
well under such stress induced circumstances.

I sighed, "OK, but after you uncover the real reason for the 
founding of the council, we'll discuss this further." I left it at 
that.

"From the way you say that, I suspect you already know what I'll 
discover. And I suspect that I won't like it either." I just raised 
my eyebrows slightly to his question.

I looked over at Willow. <are we done here.> I asked

<yea, I just hope he can keep his mouth shut.> Their was trepidation 
in her thought.

<i'm certain he can and will.> I reassured her.

"Oh Buffy, you were going to explain what happened to the vampires 
on Saturday." Giles got out before we could fully exit the library.

<let me show him, ok?> Willow asked my permission to expose her.

<if you must... > I thought softly, fearful for her safety.

<it'll be ok, buffy, I promise.> She assured me, comfort soothing 
her words.

She then looked at Giles. "I killed the vamps. When I saw Buffy 
wounded, I mentally flung the stakes I had at the three remaining 
vamps. We had only discovered that I could do it the day before and 
hadn't planned on using it because my aim wasn't so good. As it 
was, I was lucky I didn't hit Buffy, but I guess panic improved my 
aim."

"You're becoming as formidable as Buffy in your own right." Giles 
spoke slowly, with a bit of awe in his voice.

"You're loosing perspective Giles. I'm artillery. But battles are 
still won by the ground troops." Willow stated the obvious.

"Yes, I understand. You're a team. You're Buffy's support and 
Buffy is your strength." He clarified things for himself.

"Your powers though, I can't help wondering if they are rooted in 
magic. Are you a witch?" He asked truly curious.

"A witch?" Willow looked at me. <are there such things?>

<i recall merrick mentioning witches once. He said they could be 
good or bad, but the power had a tendency to corrupt.> I told her 
everything I knew.

<but giles has personal experience from what we've read.> Willow 
responded back.

<yea, but we can't let on that we know that he knows> I shot back 
quickly.

"Yes, a witch. A practitioner of magic." Giles answered.

"No, I don't practice or do magic at all." Willow explained.

Just then the end of lunch bell rang.

"How about we talk about this on patrol tonight." I called out to 
him after grabbing Willow's hand and dashing for the door. "Usual 
place, eight PM." Not giving him a chance to reply.

********************

Xander and Jesse were chuckling conspiratorially as Willow and I 
walked up to them outside the gym a little after three.

"I so don't want to know what you two are talking about, and you 
will behave in there or you're totally on your own." Willow laid 
down the ground rules right away.

"You know Will, you weren't so bossy when you were pretending to be 
straight." Xander griped.

"I'm not bossy, and I wasn't pretending to be anything, I was just 
undeclared!" Willow accentuated the ending.

"Come on guy's, we're here to have a some laughs and fun, and 
Willow, most of the laugh's are going to come from watching what our 
restraint challenged ward's will be doing, so relax and go with the 
flow." I grinned at her and gave her a wink.

Willow started to say something and then grinned herself. "Yea, 
you're right. Guess I was getting a bit with the controlling and 
none of the go with the flow fun. Sorry Xander, you too Jesse."

"That's my Will's. My best bud who always lets me make a complete 
fool of myself and always forgives me." Xander had a big dopey 
smile, one that apparently conveyed something special to Willow 
because she just smiled sweetly and didn't say another word.

"Can we go watch the chick's already?" Jesse said impatiently. If 
Jesse had any depth at all, he was doing a great job of hiding it.

"Willow?" I quizzed.

"Yea, let's go." Willow said and we all walked into the gym.

About two dozen girls in skimpy outfits were all busy stretching and 
loosening up around the gym floor as we entered, including 
Cordelia. She noticed us after coming out of a toe touch and 
immediately moved as far away as possible. There were a couple 
dozen students scattered around the bleachers. We passed an 
incredibly limber girl doing a split above the floor, balanced 
between two chairs.

Xander and Jesse had stopped dead in their tracks, eyes locked on 
the girls dexterous exhibition. Willow and I just looked at each 
other.

"Didn't take them long." I said rolling my eyes.

"Let's just give them some room. Just be prepared in case they do 
something really extreme." Willow said with resignation to the boys 
inevitable antics.

"Agreed." I chuckled as we moved over by a group of girls gathering 
for the tryouts.

Joy, the cheer leading squad leader, stepped up with her 
clipboard. "Okay, listen up! Let's begin with Amber Grove. If you're 
not auditioning, move off the floor."

That's Amy." I heard Willow exclaim. "Hey Amy." She called out.
Amy walked over. "Hi!"

Willow then asked, "I didn't know you wanted to be a cheerleader! 
You lost a lot of weight."

Amy shrugged. "Had to."

Willow then asked her. "Do you know Buffy?"

Amy looked at me, no recognition in her eyes at all. "Hi. Buffy."

"Hi. Amy." I respond in what I hoped was a friendly voice.

We all then turned to watch Amber begin her routine. It's very 
athletic. She starts off with a needle-split lift followed by a 
double spin and a jumping double spin. After landing, Amber launches 
herself into an aerial and a cartwheel. Jazz slides are then 
followed by a single spin. Everyone in the gym is intent on watching 
her.

Amy says to me from just over my shoulder. "She trained with Benson. 
He's one of the best coaches money can buy."

"They have cheer leading coaches?" I ask incredulously.

Amy replies. "Oh, yeah! I train with my mom, three hours in the 
morning, three at night. Oh, I know it's hokey. But she's really 
great."

Jesse and Xander are watching Amber in amazement. I was pretty 
impressed myself. I glanced at Willow and caught her eye.

<I'd be really impressed if I hadn't seen you in action. After 
watching you move, nothing else comes even close.> Willow added a 
look that caused me to blush in embarrassment. Not knowing how to 
respond to Willow's praise in comparison to a truly phenomenal 
performance, I just looked back at Amber with an appreciative smile 
on my face.

Then the strangest thing happened. Here it is, we're in the school 
gym in the middle of the afternoon. Sunlight streaming in the high 
window's and this demony thing pops up on the demonscape, right next 
to us!. <what the hell> I ask looking over at Willow.

<I haven't a clue> Willow was as mystified as I was.

Then I saw it. Amber's hands began to smoke. 

I exclaimed. "What the...?"

Willow practically screamed. "That girl's on fire!"

Amber's hands catch fire. She drops her pompoms and screams.

I jumped up onto the stands and pull down a banner. Then I dashed 
over to Amber, knock her down and snuff out the flames with the 
banner. Everyone else except Willow are just staring in shock.

I just kept saying over and over to her as I held her tight. "It's 
okay, it's okay, you're gonna be... Okay."

<will, I got kinda distracted. Were you able to figure out that 
demony thing that showed up right before her hands caught on fire.> 
I looked over at her and saw her standing stiff as a board, staring 
at me big eyed.

<buffy, it was like a black and reddish snake, but real thin like a 
string. But it was almost alive. It went from amber back to amy. 
And there's this demony essence coming off of amy.> She was starting 
to relax her face and posture but didn't dare look at Amy.

The gym teacher had come over along with another teacher and took 
Amber off my hands. I was then able to focus on what Willow had 
been describing. There in the demonscape was the black and red 
smoky presence but it was starting to fade away, like smoke 
dissipating in the wind. And right there in the middle of it was 
Amy. Amy was standing right behind Willow and I casually looked 
around but stopped just momentarily on Amy's face and saw her 
expression. She was watching Amber intently as she was being led 
out of the gym on her way to the emergency room. Amy's face was a 
study in conflict. One moment it was cold and emotionless and the 
next it reflected the same stunned amazement everyone else had. I 
sent Willow a vision of Amy's face.

<buffy, I think she's acting surprised. I think amy caused this, but 
I don't know how. I've know amy for years. I know she's not a 
demon.> Willow's thoughts were confused and hurt.


<willow, I think you're right. But I also think I know just who can 
help us figure this out.> I told her conveying assurance and 
confidence.

<giles?> she had walked over to me and gave me a hug as she made 
this final query.

"Giles." I whispered into her ear.

We were to meet Giles at seven for patrolling, so we decided to 
wait 'till then to discuss this with him. In the meantime, we 
decided to keep a metaphysical eye on Amy. Amy had gone home right 
after the events at the gym and when she entered her house, we could 
tell she was calling to someone <i hate this willow, why can't we 
hear?> I asked the brainy one in exasperation.

<sound waves, we have to figure out a way to tune into sound waves 
so that they travel to our minds just like what we see does. 
Remember, we aren't really seeing with our eyes. Just need to 
figure out how to hear without our ears.> Willow's thoughts carried 
some of the same frustration that I felt, but also determination 
that we would figure it out.

As we watched an older woman with dark brown hair approach Amy with 
what can only be described as a fearful posture, Willow had given me 
an inspiration. I worked some energy just like our magical fingers, 
but this time I imagined it as an extension to my ear. I extended 
it into the scope of our shared vision of Amy's house and all of a 
sudden...

"...upstairs. Have dinner ready in an hour. I should be finished 
by then, if not, keep it warm." We both heard, sort of. They were 
just words without emotion. They completely lacked any tonal 
quality.

<buffy, that's great! You're a genius.> Willow's pride in my little 
accomplishment made me blush.

<actually, it was your idea. I just sent out an ear extension. It 
works, just not very well.> I finished letting her feel the 
disappointment that the sound was so poor.

<hey, none of that. I'm the pondering thinking type, you're the 
take the idea and make it work. Again with why we are such a great 
team.> Willow's words reminded me that we are a partnership and how 
our differences made us more of a whole.

<love you willow. You always know just what to say to keep me from 
being a poop.> I conveyed with affection.

<love you too, buffy> She replied as we watched Amy go upstairs and 
enter the attic, which turned out to be a good sized room with 
little barbie dolls hanging from wires and a cauldron with something 
green and bubbly in it.

<boy, looks like a scene from Macbeth.> Willow's thoughts were 
filled with awe. It was very apparent that Amy was a witch.

<have you fought a witch before buffy?> Willow then asked me.

<nope, never even knew they existed except for what merrick told 
me. Buffy the vampire slayer, remember? Witches aren't exactly in 
my job description.> I offered lamely.

We continued to watch Amy as she went to a large chest against the 
wall and took a very Gile's looking book from it. She read for a 
while, occasionally making notes on a pad of paper. It looked like 
a shopping list for Halloween. She eventually closed it up and left 
the room, joining her mother for dinner.

We had to get ready for Giles and patrol, so we decided to just 
check in on her now and then the rest of the evening.

**************************************
We met up with Giles at seven and after taking caring of three early 
diners, went over for coffee and to discuss Amy.

"It was disgusting Giles. This black and reddish shroud enveloping 
Amy. I had reached out to touch it with my mind, but when I got 
close, I nearly became physically sick. I had to pull back right 
away or lose my lunch!" I felt Willow's memory of the incident as 
she recalled it in vivid detail. I felt myself grow queasy just 
from her memory.

"This is fascinating." Giles started out. "Whatever power the two of 
you are drawing upon, it's not traditional witchcraft. From what 
you have described to me, Amy is most certainly delving into the 
darker powers. The book you described her referencing has all the 
traits of a dark tome. You have just answered my question earlier 
today about whether or not you are a witch. If you are, you're not 
any kind of witch I have ever heard described. See, witch's use 
spells and other aids to create their magic. You and Buffy have 
tapped into something pure and already ordered. It doesn't require 
spell casting to be controlled. Traditional magic taps into the 
elemental forces of the universe. The one's that are akin to chaos 
and require energy and manipulation to form into anything coherent. 
I suspect that whatever mystical union you have formed between the 
two of you is completely tuned to the powers of light and order. 
Can you describe a bit more what you are able to do with this power 
and anything you have perceived regarding its source or appearance? 
It may help me formulate a suggestion on how to deal with the 
traditional magic's that apparently cause you such physical 
distress."

Willow and I looked at each other. <I'll go first, and you jump in 
where you think I miss something.> I stated as much as asked.

She smiled beatifically. I never new what beatific was before, but 
knew her warm compassionate smile had to be it. <no problem buffy>

"The power we draw upon is like a fountain of sky blue and gold in 
the midst of darkness. The closer you get to the fountain the 
brighter it becomes, the illumination coming from the fountain and 
all these little lights swirling around. The fountain is like warm, 
soft water that tingles. We are able to drink from it, but also 
able to channel it, like acting like a hose with a controlling spout 
on the end. We think of how we want it to come out and it does just 
like we think." I summarized several hours of perceptions and 
discussions between Willow and myself.

Willow then added, "I think the channeling part is what caused Buffy 
to pass out the other night. In our desperation to stop the 
vampires, we channeled more energy than we were ready to handle and 
we kinda overloaded a bit."

"Also," I continued, "when we use the energy, it's kinda like an 
extension of ourselves. Kinda like an extra hand." When I said 
this, Giles eyes lit up.

"Eureka!, That's it. That's why Willow got ill from touching the 
magic around Amy. Your power is the opposite of the energy that Amy 
is drawing upon. They don't coexist well together. They try and 
destroy each other. While Amy's power is chaos in nature, it's 
natural state is to dissipate. When you came close to it, you just 
hastened it's dissolution." He was truly excited now, and I glanced 
around to make certain that we were somewhat alone. The closest 
people to us were a couple of tables over and were engrossed in 
their own conversation.

"But you power is ordered, it's natural state is to be ordered. And 
using it as an extension to yourself, you felt personally the push 
towards disorder. You need to distance yourself, like make the 
energy into a tool that you can manipulate but is not connected to 
you. Like you would use a hammer." He was quite pleased with his 
explanation until he noticed the looks of disbelief on both our 
faces.

"But Giles, that would violate the second law of thermodynamics." 
Willow exclaimed as I nodded my head in agreement.

"Huhh, oh yes. I can see where you would draw that conclusion. And 
I'm sure your science teacher would agree, but while the power 
behind traditional magic might obey the laws of entropy, the power 
you are tapped into I suspect transcends the laws of physics as we 
currently understand them. Now I have no proof for this hypothesis, 
but that's why it's merely an hypothesis." He smiled just like a 
little boy who had just handed his teacher an apple, hoping for a 
kind word in return.

<it makes sense buffy> Willow's thought's also conveyed the shock 
over realizing that what we had been tapping into was something 
entirely unheard of in the realms of science.

<willow, you took to it like a duck to water. That's why I never 
questioned the source. It just felt so naturally good, no bad. You 
know what I mean." I brought my face to within a centimeter of hers, 
our noses nearly touching.

She brought her forehead gently against mine and sighed. <that's 
what I did also. I just can't believe that I didn't even think 
about the magnitude before this. I think I was just on the euphoric 
high of being in love with you that anything, no matter how 
incredible was possible." I saw emerald glints as her eyes opened 
and I felt her smile ruefully.
<I know what you mean. Loving you has made everything seem 
possible. After all, if an angel can come to earth and love me, 
what's a little violation of the laws of nature." I saw her rueful 
and raised her a big happy.

Giles cleared his throat nervously and we looked over at him. 

"We were just discussing how easily we accepted what's happened this 
past week." I explained to him.

"Yes, but it's actually quite normal when confronted with many new 
things at once to just accept them for the time being until you are 
at a time and place to better deal with the matter." Giles actually 
made sense.

"Glad to see you didn't waste getting old Giles." I grinned at him 
and Willow giggled next to me.

"Oh, but Giles, you were saying something about using our energy 
like a tool." Willow's mind was catching up more quickly than mine, 
bless her and before Giles could respond to the left handed 
compliment.

"Thank you for listening Willow, at least one of you doesn't spend 
all their time thinking up sarcastic witticism's" Obviously not 
quick enough.

"But Giles, they don't take anytime at all. They just pop out 
naturally." I smiled sweetly.

"I'm quite sure. As for my recommendation, the two of you should 
see if you can form the energy you are working with into something 
outside of yourself that you manipulate separately. Like your hand 
would use a hammer to drive in a nail, rather than using your hand 
to do so." He completed his explanation.

"Any ideas on how to test it." Willow asked him.

"Yes, I can cast a small spell to levitate an object tomorrow before 
school and you can try and disrupt the spell with the implement you 
create. Seven AM all right with you ladies." He asked.

"Ugh, then we better get home and to bed if we have to be up before 
the crack of dawn." I moaned.

Halfway home, a demon showed up in one of the cemetery's. 
Fortunately, this one was close. We got a visual on it and noticed 
it was bluish green with a fish like fin on its back and really big 
claws. We described it to Giles as we approached the cemetery.

"Probably best to use the longer double edged sword for this one 
Buffy." Giles offered.

I was about to agree with him when Willow interrupted. "Oh, yea, 
take the big sword. But I want to try something else first." 

Willow then shared with me her idea to create an energy sword that 
we could wield from a safer distance.

<worth a try> I agreed, curious myself.

Giles stopped on the access road about thirty yards from where the 
demon was prowling around some graves. We all got out. I had the 
broad sword in my right hand and took Willows in my left. I let 
Willow lead. I saw her take the energy, molding it into a long 
sword much like the one I was holding. I then concentrated on 
making the edges sharp and the blade strong and rigid. The next 
thing to do was separate it from Willow. I reached out with a 
pseudo limb and grasped the pommel. Willow then focused on 
disconnecting herself from the sword and sealing the connection as 
she did so. During the minute or so this took, the demon had 
noticed our presence and began approaching us. When he was about 10 
yard away, I thrust the sword at his chest. At the last moment, he 
seemed to see it approaching and leaped to the side. He turned to 
watch it pass him and I quickly halted it and swung the blade at his 
neck which he ducked. I was a bit slow and awkward with this form 
of fighting. But I halted the blade more quickly this time and 
brought it back quick enough to slice through his upraised arm just 
above the elbow. He screamed in agony and orange blood spurted from 
the stump. The other problem was that the sword disintegrated with 
a flash.

"Oh well, back to basics." I said launching myself at the injured 
demon making quick work of him with my traditional blade of tempered 
steel.

The demon melted into a puddle of orange and green goo as I walked 
back to where Willow and Giles stood. Willow's eyes were carefully 
examining me to make sure I was unharmed and Giles stood there with 
a speculative look on his face.

"That was most enlightening. I could actually see the mystical 
energy sword as a translucent blue and gold. Apparently the demon 
could also. And it appeared to disintegrate upon cutting the demons 
arm. I have a lot of research to do." His anticipation of this 
bordered on the look of a chocoholic in a Godiva shop.

"Well glad you enjoyed it, but swords that go poof are of not the 
fun." Willow sad sadly. "Buffy needs weapons that hang around 'till 
all the bad is gone. I was thinking we could make you some armor 
with this, but not if it goes poof at first contact."

"Hey, didn't Thomas Edison make a gazillion light bulbs before he 
got one to work?" I asked her reassuringly.

"Yea, but I want you safe NOW." She stated firmly.

"Willow, I am so ahead of the game now. We just made this great 
leap in the last week, acquiring a power that will probably take the 
rest of our lives to fully understand, if even then." I said while 
drawing her into my arms. "I had no idea you were so impatient."

"Only when it comes to your safety." She said softly. <and making 
love of course>

"And I can't begin to tell you how much I appreciate that, but this 
is just another reminder to proceed with caution." I gently 
reaffirmed. <except for the making love part.>

"And I concur whole heartedly." Giles chimed in.

We both immediately started laughing so hard, we fell on the 
ground. Giles just looked at us like we were two crazy loons.

We made it back to our feet wiping tears from our eyes, "Yea, Giles 
concurs so lets get to it." I giggled softly so Giles wouldn't hear.

"Yea, and we got a witch to check in on." Willow remembered as we 
walked back toward the car.