FIC: Dispelling the Darkness (1/?) PG-13

["Red Willow" <reddwillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Quick note... several of you wanted me to continue The Spaces Inbetween... 
which i'm working on... however this story just kind of came along and i 
needed a change anyway... so i hope you can forgive... i will try to post 
something on TSIB soon enough... tell me what you think about this latest 
story however, as i haven't let anyone read a single bit.

*******
Title: Dispelling the Darkness
Author: Red Willow
Email: reddwillow@xxxxxxxxxxx or nick_elodian@xxxxxxxxx
Disclaimer: All characters and reference to belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant 
Enemy, and all them other peeps, i'm just using them to make my own fun. 
Some dialogue taken straight from the show. Love between two women... you 
no like... you no read.
Distribution: Ask me first... and i'll probably say yes. Please credit me.
Pairing: B/W
Rating: PG-13 (May contain some language and adult themes. Nothing 
explicit.)
Summary: Takes place directly after the S6 finale. Quotes from some S3,4,5 
shows. Buffy and the rest of the gang are trying to find a cure for a 
mysterious illness that has waged war on Willow's body.. Meanwhile, Buffy 
must also confront her true feelings for the redhead while living with the 
guilt that she's known Willow's true feelings all along. Part 1 or ? < 
and > stand for thoughts. [ and ] contain flashbacks.
Feedback? I thrive on feedback! Hope you enjoy.

*******

Buffy stopped outside the clear sliding glass door to the hospital room in 
the CCU unit, looking in through a crack in the Venetian blinds that lined 
the window. She sighed heavily and prepared herself for what became her 
twice-a-day ritual. She donned the plastic apron, the surgical mask, and 
sterile gloves. She slid back the door with her elbow just enough to slide 
through and in an instant she was once again at her friend?s bedside.

Wires and cords lined the floor from the equipment and monitors, mirroring 
the tubes hung from bags of hemoglobin, platelets, and antibiotics that fed 
into a pale white arm laying listlessly on the bed. There was a steady hum 
from the equipment interjected by the occasional beeps and blips from one of 
the many machines. The TV was on, but the sound was barely audible, even to 
the advanced hearing of a Slayer.

Buffy took a seat in the blue pleather recliner next to the bed and gathered 
up her friend?s hand into hers, willing her slayer healing ability to heal 
her friend?s illness. She watched the TV, absently stroking the cool hand 
with her thumb. She didn?t try to wake the red head, instead letting her 
get her rest and hoping that when she did wake up, that maybe she would have 
a lucid moment.



[Giles, Wesley, Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, and Buffy were gathered around 
the large wooden table used for research in the library.

?She can read our minds? Our every impulse and fantasy?? Asked Xander.
?Every one.? Responded Buffy matter-of-factly.
<Oh God.> Thought Xander and Willow at the same time, looking away from 
Buffy.
Xander constantly thought about naked girls and sex, or sex with naked 
girls, or sex with a naked Buffy. He was already becoming very 
uncomfortable. Willow on the other hand thought of many more things as her 
brain seemed to be a constant flood of thoughts and ideas.

<I don't see what this has to do with me.> Thought Cordelia before she spoke 
those same words out loud.
<Don?t think about it, don?t think about her? it? eep!.> Willow flashed 
Buffy a look and said, ?Well, I think it's great. Right? I-I mean? you enjoy 
your other slayer powers.?
Buffy eyed Willow curiously for a second before responding.
?Uh?Yeah, and it'll be fun. Did you see Nancy Doyle's face in English Class 
today??
< Oh God she?s gonna know and she won?t want to be my friend.>
?Yeah, she?s supercompetetive? a-and you really showed her.?
< She's hardly even human anymore. How can I be her friend now? She doesn't 
need me.>
?No! I do need you.? Buffy interjected, cutting Willow?s stream of thought 
off finally.

Cordelia piped up with, ?Ok, what are you talking about? Because you are 
soooo creepy right now.?

Giles, trying to keep his own thoughts in check, moved towards the stacks, 
gesturing for Wesley to follow.
?Um...I think there must be some precedence for occurrences such as this. 
Uh, I'll research it. Wesley, can you give me a hand?? He asked the younger 
Watcher.
?Of course. Where do you think we should start?? Wesley responded glancing 
from him to Cordelia to Buffy.

He was falling in lust with the beautiful brunette and was trying his 
hardest to shield his inappropriate thoughts from the telepathic Slayer.

Willow and Buffy looked at each other, fear on both of their faces.
Buffy was scared that she would alienate Willow with these new powers, and 
was already aware that she was freaking everyone out. Willow was hollering 
about her not finding something out and Xander was trying to shield his 
thoughts about sex, while Oz was already contemplating his mere existence.

<I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is 
me and she becomes me. I cease to exist.>
?Hmm...? Sounded Oz.

Meanwhile, Xander was having trouble controlling his own stream of 
consciousness. <What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! 
Help! 4 times 5 is thirty. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked Women! Naked 
Buffy! Oh stop me!>
?God Xander! Is that all you think about?? Buffy shot at him incredulously.
<Oh God!> Thought Willow. <Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, buffy?ahh?beryllium?>
?Actually... bye!? Shouted Xander before high-tailing it out the library.
Buffy wasn?t sure how to react between Xander?s burst from the library and 
Willow?s chanting, what appeared to be elements of the periodic table. Her 
ears perked up at the sound of her name.

Wesley cleared his throat and stepped back toward the table, ?Xander has 
just illustrated something. Chances are, you're all going to be thinking 
whatever you least want Buffy to hear. It's a question, of course, of mental 
discipline.?
< Look at Cordelia. No! Don't look at Cordelia! She's a student! Oh I am a 
bad man. I'm a bad, bad man!>

?He's right. There are... ? Agreed Giles trailing off while looking at yet 
another book.


Buffy gazed intently at Wesley, letting him know that she had heard 
everything. She enjoyed the way he squirmed under her gaze before excusing 
himself and hiding in Giles? office.

<?neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum?>
Willow caught Buffy looking at her curiously. The Slayer was sure Willow 
was doing this not because she was a brain and entirely too good at 
chemistry, but instead so that Willow could block her thoughts from her.

<Don?t think about her?> Buffy thought to herself. <Don?t think about who?>
The redhead decided engaging in conversation might be a better means of 
distraction.
?What's it like Buffy?? She asked her blonde friend.
?I don't know. It's a little wierd. But... Look, please, don't for a second 
think that I don't need you, because I do. I want to share this with you. 
It's like all these doors are opening to all these little worlds, and I can 
just walk right inside.?

< No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore, she 
is.>
Buffy looked at Oz again, surprised that the guitar player whom she knew 
almost nothing about, had such deep thoughts.

Willow?s fears came back in full force as she watched Buffy stare at Oz, 
knowing the new powers her friend had would allow her to know everything he 
was thinking. <She knows so much. She knows what I?m thinking. She knows 
what Oz is thinking. I never know that. Before long, she'll know him better 
than I do.>
?No, don't think that.? Buffy turned to Willow trying to reassure her.
?I can't help it Buffy. I-I'm sorry, I just can't.?
Willow got up and followed Xander?s example of fleeing the library.
?If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the red head.? Said Oz, following 
Willow out.
Buffy sighed to herself while to Giles and Cordelia she said,
?Guess I won't be writing that book, 'Gaining Friends through Telepathy.'? ]


Buffy felt her hand being squeezed and she gave her friend her full 
attention. The worn down body lay still in the bed, eyes fluttering in 
restless sleep. Buffy winced, her chin trembling slightly. She wished there 
was something she could do, something she could do to make the doctors fix 
her, some news of change. She hoped for a miracle, hoped for a vision to 
tell her what to do, for any sign that Willow wouldn?t be in any more pain. 
Nothing came.

Everyday for two weeks she came and sat, waited, treasured any time that 
Willow was lucid, even for the shortest few minutes. She came early in the 
morning, held Willow?s hand, watched the TV, slept, read, and sometimes she 
stared straight ahead. And everyday she left for no more than a few hours, 
only then if Xander or Giles was willing to stay until she got back. At 
first they pleaded with her to leave and let Willow rest, to sleep in her 
own bed because she needed rest too. To let the doctors do their job. 
Everyone pleaded with her, including the doctors, who at first had tried to 
keep her out all together until she proved to them just how convincing she 
could be.

She listened to no one though, opting instead to spend her ?two shifts? at 
her best friend?s side, only sleeping when she needed it. The rest of the 
time she spent patrolling, killing vampires and demons mercilessly as if it 
would help kill whatever infection was raging on inside of her red headed 
friend. After the first few days, her friends gave up trying to get her to 
go home. Giles still offered to stay longer so that Buffy would go home, 
knowing that the only way she?d leave was if someone else promised to stay. 
Even then, she didn?t always leave, or if she did, it still wasn?t for long.

?Come on Will, come back to me.? Buffy whispered before kissing her friend?s 
forehead and smoothing away the red splash of hair there.



[ Buffy was crouched with her back against the tree, lost in thought. ?Deep 
thoughts?? Asked Willow, walking up to Buffy.
Buffy smiled up at Willow and said, ?Deep and meaningful.?
?As in??

Willow took a seat next to Buffy under the tree.

?As in, I?m never getting out of here. I kept thinking? if I stopped the 
Mayor or? but I was kidding myself. I mean? there is always going to be 
something. I?m a Sunnydale girl, no other choice.?
?Must be tough. I mean? here I am? I-I can do anything I want. I can go to 
college anywhere in the country, four or five in Europe if I want.?
?Please tell me you?re going somewhere with this?? Buffy asked, hoping not 
to get caught in Willow babble, as cute as it was at times.
?No.?

Buffy looked at Willow confused as the red head handed her a letter.

?I?m not going anywhere.?
?UC Sunnydale?? Buffy asked in disbelief.
Willow smiled. ?I will be matriculating with the Class of 2003.?
?Are you serious?? Disbelief still evident in her voice.
?Say, isn't that where you're going?? Willow teased.

Buffy leapt at Willow, hugging her fiercely and toppling the two teens to 
the ground.
?I can't believe it! Are you serious?? Started Buffy, positioning herself on 
her side. ?Ah, wait, what am I saying? You can't.?

Willow turned herself over as well before responding.

?What do you mean, I can't??
?I won't let you.?
?Of the two people here, which is the boss of me??

Buffy could imagine Willow putting her resolve face on, hands on hips, and 
tapping her foot.

?There are better schools.?
?Sunnydale's not bad. A-And I can design my own curriculum.?
Willow always got excited talking about school. Going to collage was going 
to be one of the biggest thrills of her life.
?Okay, well, there are safer schools. There are safer prisons. I can't let 
you stay because of me.?

Willow sighed and gave Buffy a half smile. Buffy thought there might be 
something hiding behind that expression that Willow wasn?t ready to show 
yet.

?Actually, this isn't about you. Although I'm fond, don't get me wrong, of 
you.? Willow?s voice lacked the conviction she had earlier shown and she 
briefly looked off into the distance before she refocused and continued.

?The other night, you know? being captured and all? facing off with Faith? 
things just kind of? got clear. I-I mean, you've been fighting evil here for 
three years?a-and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we 
want to do with our lives. A-and I just realized that that's what I want to 
do. Fight evil? help people. I mean? I-I think it's worth doing. And I don't 
think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want 
in.?

Buffy?s heart ballooned in relief, pride, and love for her best friend who 
would give up getting out of Sunnydale, away from the hellmouth, give up 
opportunities to study at some of the best schools worldwide, to stay and 
fight evil with her.

?I kinda love you.? Said Buffy, realizing for the first time just how much 
more than kinda she meant.
?And, besides, I have a shot at being a bad ass Wiccan, and what better 
place to learn?? Willow said quickly, ignoring the tender ache in her heart 
at Buffy?s words.
?I feel the need for more sugar than the human body can handle.?
?Mochas?? Asked Willow with a silly grin.
?Yes, please.?

The two girls got off the ground, dusting themselves off and headed for the 
Expresso Pump.

?It's weird. You look at something and you think you know exactly what 
you're seeing, and then you find out it's something else entirely.?
?Neat, huh?? Willow questioned, giving the blonde a sideways glance.
?Sometimes it is.? Agreed Buffy.

The two continued to walk in search of hot Coffee with arms linked, lost in 
further thought about their friendship, the future, and the impending doom 
that might take that future away. ]

tbc...


"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound
anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that
as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like
beautiful music"
-Soren Kierkegaard


Willow: Oh Buffy, you really need to have every square inch of your ass 
kicked.
Buffy: Then show me what you got, and I'll show you what a Slayer really is.

Who the hell am *i* to capitalize myself?


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