Dispelling the Darkness (3/?) PG-13

["Red Willow" <reddwillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Dispelling the Darkness
Author: Red Willow
For Disclaimer, Summary and other such info, see parts 1,2...


***[ ?Poor Buffy??
Willow patted the Slayer on the back, a sympathetic look plastered on her 
features.
She couldn?t believe that it was Buffy?s roommate all along and not a psycho 
Buffy. Well she was certainly glad it wasn?t a psycho Buffy because that 
would just mean badness for everyone. Mostly she couldn?t believe that she 
had really doubted her best friend to the extent that she thought Buffy was 
losing it.
?Maybe? it?s a Slayer thing.?
Buffy glanced at the redhead beside her on the bed.
?Huh??
?W-well? maybe because you?re the Slayer? bad things? just kind of? find 
you.?
?Oh.?
?Oh? I?m sorry? I?m not helping.?

Both sat for a moment looking at Kathy?s side of the room, her stuff still 
where she left it. Apparently angry demon parents don?t care about their 
kids? stuff.

?Hey Will??
Willow glanced over at a very smile friendly Slayer, looking at her with 
eyes that said ?I?ll be your best friend??
Willow knew that look and knew it was next to impossible to deny Buffy 
anything when she was confronted with it.
?Hmmm? I know that look.? Willow looked at Kathy?s stuff and knew Buffy 
wanted her to help lug it away.
She got up and cased the place quickly.
?Okay? but can we wait until the morning, I?m kind of beat.?
?Huh?? Buffy was confused, she hadn?t even asked Willow yet.
?A-and we?re going to need some boxes.?
?Oh? okay.? Buffy was still confused as to how Willow knew she wanted her to 
move in, but was happy none-the-less.
?Well are you sure you don?t need a little more time to pack your stuff??
Willow stopped mid-thought, mental groans over having go through the demon?s 
stuff coming to a halt as well.
?M-my stuff?? She asked, confusion plainly evident.
?Well yeah? I-I mean I could help you pack if you want? but I should 
probably get rid of all this stuff first?? Buffy made a sort of sweeping 
gesture with her arm, indicating her ex-roomates clothes, posters, and of 
course, CD collection.
?Um?? Willow sat on the other bed, across from Buffy. ?Okay. I?m a little 
confused now.?
?What? You want me to keep it all here with us? Will, I really don?t think 
Daddy Demon?s coming back for Kathy?s stuff.?
?With us??
?Uh? yeah? the two of us here? together? that would be an us? or maybe a we? 
or to someone else a they!? Buffy smiled at her own humor. Her smile faded 
however when she saw the stunned look on her friend?s face.
?What?s wrong? you don?t want to move in anymore?? She asked, scared that 
the redhead had changed her mind so quickly.
?Um? Are we talking about the same thing??
?Uh? I thought we were.?
?Oh? well I thought? that you wanted? me to help you move all this? stuff? 
out.?
?Uh, well sure? if you want to help? but actually??
Buffy sat beside Willow on the other bed.
?Um? I guess I really didn?t ask? but I was wondering if you wanted to room 
with me now.?
?Oh. I guess I jumped to conclusions.?
?Hey Will? no offense? but I value our friendship much more than to just use 
you for labor. Besides? we have Xander for that.? She finished with a 
smile, glad to see one come over Willow?s face as well.

Willow thought about it for a few short seconds. Her roommate was a 
challenge to live with to say the least, and at least she was already used 
to Buffy. <But would Buffy really want to room with me? especially since?>
?Hey Buffy? are you sure this is such a good idea??
?Why wouldn?t it be??
?Well? there?re all sorts of reasons? um? because you know? we could get on 
each other?s nerves? or um? I?d be? uh? studying? and you um??
Buffy gave Willow a look that stopped her rambling.
?It?s okay Will. I?m sure the next one won?t be so bad.
I mean? what are the chances of two demon roommates in one semester???
?What? No, Buffy? I-I wasn?t saying no? just that? you might want to? think 
about this.?
?Ookay? and I have? so do you want to or not??

Willow thought for a few minutes, contemplating what a great move it would 
be. But the thought that Buffy might not be thinking things through and 
would eventually change her mind about Willow being there sent fear straight 
through the witch?s heart. She needed to know if Buffy was totally serious 
and comfortable with the whole idea.

?A-are you sure you?ve thought about this??
?What? Will, come on? I?m asking my best friend to room with me? not much 
thought required? which is probably a good thing right now.?
?Oh?? Willow glanced around the small room, knowing that privacy might be an 
issue. ?Uh? well I was just? ?cause I mean? you know? dorm rooms, small 
space? not much privacy? and uh? changing? um??
?What are you talking about? We?ve changed together plenty of times? not 
like we?re strangers? ?cause you know? the whole dressing with Kathy in the 
room got old real quick!?
?Oh yeah? um??
?Come on Willow? please? It?ll be great.? Buffy tried.
?I-I just don?t want you to be? uncomfortable.? Willow looked down at the 
floor, not able to meet her friend?s pleading eyes. She missed the 
confusion wash over Buffy?s features.
?Again, I say? huh??
?W-well with everything?? Willow wrung her hands. ?I-I mean now that you 
know? me with the bi? ness? now. A-and the? other??
If forehead could form words, DUH would have been etched into Buffy?s. Her 
mouth formed an almost circle as she finally realized what Willow had been 
getting at.
<Oh God? she thinks because I know she?s bisexual and has a thing for me 
that I?d wig out over us?>
?Will!?
Willow?s head shot up, meeting Buffy?s eyes. She was caught off guard at 
first, because it seemed as if Buffy was angry.
?I can?t believe you?d think I?d be? uncomfortable with you here.?
?But Buffy??
?Nope, nuh uh?? Buffy wrapped one arm around the other?s shoulders and 
pulled her into a tight squeeze.
?Listen to me.? Buffy stated.
?O-okay.? Willow glanced at the hand on her shoulder and tried not to think 
of the lack of space between them. It was an old habit and had become an 
automatic response to Buffy?s presence.
?First off, I told you I don?t care what you?re into. Uh, okay? I take that 
back. No animals? that?s just sick.?
?Ewww? Buffy!?
?Okay okay? Seriously though. It doesn?t bother me Will.
We?re best friends and I can trust you with anything? just like you trusted 
me with this. You?re with Oz and I of course am single and it?s our first 
year at UC Sunnydale together? Just because you like girls doesn?t change 
any of that, and it certainly won?t make me feel uncomfortable to live with 
you? hell I?ve never been uncomfortable or embarrassed to change in front of 
you? I think you?re the one who?s usually embarrassed? and you know? after 3 
years of slumber parties you?d think you?d be okay? but sometimes you get 
all shy? which is cute, don?t get me wrong? but-
?Um? Buff??
Buffy looked over. ?Oh? sorry.?
?But? things are different. You? you know? because of the? other thing I 
told you??
?Oh you mean you having a thing for me??

Willow looked toward the floor again. <I think ?thing? is an understatement 
at this point. Who knew you could love two people at once? My heart aches 
when I?m not with Oz, yet I?d probably die for Buffy. Would I do that for 
Oz?>

?Don?t sweat that either Will. I told you before and I?ll tell you again 
and again until you believe me? it doesn?t bother me and actually I?m kind 
of flattered? But really, it doesn?t bother me and it doesn?t change how I 
feel about you or this.? Buffy made a back and forth gesture with her hand 
indicating the two girls.
Willow was quiet for a few minutes as she took all of what Buffy had to say 
in.

?Please say yes.? Came Buffy?s soft voice.
Willow looked at the blonde next to her and her heart jumped. She knew that 
Buffy was totally sincere and really wanted her to be her roommate. Willow 
felt that she had no other alternative than to take the Slayer up on her 
offer.

?Yes.?
And once again, the witch was wrapped up in strong slayer arms.

?Oh but Will??
?Yeah??
?If you ever play Cher?s ?Believe? I?ll have to slay you? you realize this 
don?t you??
?No worries? I?m not much with the diva thing.?
?Oh, that?s good.? ]


Buffy applied the lotion in slow, loving circles, kneading the skin of her 
best friend?s hands and arms the best she could given the circumstances.

?Sure, let me do all the work. Just go ahead and lay there lazy butt.? Buffy 
spoke the words in a quiet voice, letting a touch of fun sarcasm filter 
through.
?Yeah, I bet you?re really diggin? all this treatment you?re getting in here 
huh??
Buffy squirted more of the cool white liquid into the palm of her hand and 
proceeded to work on another section dry skin.
?Well don?t get used to it, Missy. As soon as you?re well enough you?re 
coming home with me? and I won?t change you like they do here? nope? you?ll 
just have to get up and go to the bathroom all on your own, and put your own 
lotion on, and brush your hair, and? feed??
Buffy wiped the beginnings of fresh tears from her eyes.
??feed yourself? yup? you?ll be okay and strong and we?ll hang out and have 
fun again like we used to? before? before things changed all that??

Buffy capped the lotion, leaving it on the small table near the washroom. 
She picked up the small nail clippers and moved back beside the bed.

?Clip your own nails too.? She added in a soft voice, the lump in her throat 
making it harder to speak out loud.

She began with Willow?s index finger, working her way down, then doing the 
thumb last. They had grown a lot and needed to be clipped and shaped. It 
would keep Buffy busy, and she figured Willow would appreciate it too.
?I don?t remember ever clipping your nails before. Oh, but do you remember 
our first sleepover? We did each other?s nails and toes and stayed up all 
night eating brownies and watching stupid comedies and just talking. That 
was so much fun Will. Ha. Sleepover. We sure don?t do that much these 
days huh??

Buffy traded the clippers for an emery board and began the work of filing 
Willow?s nails.

?Hard to believe Dawn?s almost as old as we were when we first met huh? Ya 
know, I really need to be a lot easier on her. Sometimes I forget how grown 
up she?s becoming. I must have put Mom through hell when I was her age. No 
wait, I know I did. But I had you and Xander and Giles? so??

?I could paint these if you want.? Buffy glanced at her bag on the floor. 
?Not sure if I brought any polish with me though. I?ll call Dawn and ask 
her to bring some. What color would you like??

Buffy continued to file, glancing up every once in awhile at Willow?s 
twisted face. She would sleep quietly for a time, then roll her head from 
side to side and groan out in pain or fear. Buffy was never certain. She 
assumed that whatever was killing her friend inside, was probably messing 
with her mind as well.


?God Will? I?m so sorry.? She whispered, her words barely audible. ?I?m 
sorry you have to go through this. I?m sorry things turned out so? fucked 
up. I?m so very sorry about Tara??


[ Buffy walked into their dorm room and saw Willow lying on her bed.
?Hey.?
?Hey.? Answered Willow. ?You okay??
Buffy rubbed her neck briefly. ?Yeah, I just? I don?t want talk about it. I 
want to hear about you and Oz.?
Buffy?s eyes glazed with the anticipation of Willow and Oz goodness. Her 
friend had been way too depressed since he left, no thanks to Buffy she 
admitted, but with Oz back, all that could change.
?You saw him right?? Buffy inquired.
?I was with him all night.?
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
?All night??
A giddy grin spread across her face.
?Oh my God.? Exclaimed Buffy, taking a seat on Willow?s bed.
?Wait,? the blonde continued ?Last night was a wolf moon? right??
?Yup.? Willow nods.
A minor look of confusion flashed across the Slayer?s features.
?Okay? either you?re about to tell me something incredibly kiny? or??
?No kink.? Willow said, smiling. ?He? didn?t change, Buffy. He said he was 
gonna find a cure? and he did. In Tibet.?
A huge smile graced Buffy?s features.
?Oh my God. I can?t believe it.?
She looked at her friend who did not seem to share the same excitement as 
her.
?Okay? I?m all with the woo-hoo? and you?re not.?
?No? there?s woo and there?s hoo? But? there?s uh-oh and? why now? A-and? 
it?s complicated??
?Why? complicated??

Willow sighed. She knew this was inevitable and thought that the admission 
made during the summer about her sexuality would have made telling Buffy 
about seeing Tara a lot easier. But every time she thought of telling her, 
she became weak with fear that once Buffy saw her with another girl, that it 
would finally wig her out.

?It?s complicated? because of Tara.? Willow finally admitted, averting her 
gaze from that of Buffy?s inquisitive stare.
Buffy frowned, not understanding what Willow could mean. Then a thought 
occurred to her.
?You mean Tara has a crush on Oz??
She felt like a dufus. <Does Tara even know Oz?>
Realization slowly sunk in as she looked at her redheaded best friend 
sitting near her on the bed.
?No?? The Slayer stated. ?Oh!?
Willow glanced around, finally settling back on Buffy, and gave her a 
nervous smile.
Buffy jumped up.
?Oh? um? well? that?s great. You know? I mean? I think Tara?s a? a really 
great girl, Will.?
<Why am I freaking?> Buffy thought, walking toward Willow?s dresser. <Why 
didn?t she tell me?>
?She is? A-and? there?s something between us. It? It wasn?t something I was 
looking for? It?s just powerful? and it?s totally different from what Oz and 
I have.?
<Yeah? I bet.> Buffy thought again before quickly chastising herself.
?Well? there you go? I mean? you know? you have to? you have to follow you 
heart? Will. A-and that?s what?s important? Will.?
<I? thought she was? in love with?>
?Why do you keep saying me name like that??
?Like what Will?? Buffy asked, trying to fake a cheerful tone.
Willow quickly sat up. Her fears had become reality. Buffy was wigging out 
and Willow wouldn?t be able to hold their friendship together anymore.
<Oh Gods!> She screamed inside.
?Are you freaked?!?
Buffy saw the desperation flood her best friend?s face and knew she had to 
act quickly to soothe Willow?s concerns. <Not to mention royally kick my own 
ass.>
?What? No Will?? Buffy took a deep breath before continuing. ?No, absolutely 
no to that question.?
Willow was skeptical.
Buffy sat back down on the bed, putting a gentle hand on Willow?s shin.
?I?m sorry? I didn?t mean to? I?m sorry.?
?It?s okay? I-I just figured? you never freaked before so? you know??
?You thought maybe it was just a matter of time??
?Something like that.?
?No? it?s? you caught me off guard I guess.?
Willow half-smiled, not sure what she should have said to that.
?I mean? you never told me about her?? Buffy glanced around the room. ?Not 
that I?ve been a great friend lately.?
?You?ve had? other things on your mind.?
?No? I?ve had someone not as important as my best friend on my mind?? Buffy 
shook her head, thinking of the time she had spent with Riley, instead of 
Willow, especially when Willow needed her.
Again, the redheaded witch didn?t know what to say.
?Anyway? I guess I thought? I mean I figured if Oz ever came back? that you 
know? you?d be with him.?
?Yeah? but? this is? different? new and??
Buffy could only nod. She wasn?t sure she knew what Willow meant, but was 
sure that Willow knew what she wanted.
Willow shrugged. ?I don?t know Buffy? it?s all so??
?Confusing??
Willow thought about it for a moment. <Confusing? You could say that. I 
want Tara. I still love Oz. I love you and can?t have you. Okay, so that 
last choice isn?t even in the running?>
?Not really confusing just? I don?t want to hurt anyone Buffy??
?Will? no matter what? someone?s gonna get hurt.?
Willow nodded. She knew it was true, just didn?t know how she was going to 
live with herself for hurting someone she cared about.
?Do you? love her?? Buffy asked, her voice almost a whisper as if she was 
scared to hear the answer.
Willow looked up into her friend?s eyes. For the briefest of seconds, she 
thought she recognized jealousy in the Slayer?s eyes.
?I? I really don?t know yet?.? Willow closed her eyes and rested her head on 
the pillow behind her. ?I? I want her?? Color rushed into her cheeks and she 
groaned, feeling embarrassed for her previous admission.
Buffy?s eyebrows raised slightly.
?Oh? that made me sound like? like such a? a perv or something??
?No it didn?t?? Buffy said, smiling and shaking her head from side to side.
?I didn?t mean it like? okay, well I sort of did? but what I mean is? that 
I? I want to be with her? try something? ahh? I mean? try a relationship 
with her. I really like her? it?s? well, like I said before? it?s just so 
powerful, and new and? maybe I do? kinda love her.?
?And Oz??
?I love him? but??
?But??
?He left? he just up and left and now he?s back and expects me to just drop 
everything and get back together? a-and it?s like he just thought I?d be 
sitting here? waiting for him? a-and okay? so I was at first? but??
?But you found someone else? Will? it?s okay??
?I know? but? it?s Oz? you know??
?I know??
?And? if I love them both?? Willow shook her head. ?How is that possible? I 
never could figure that out.?
?What??
?How you could love more than one person?? How does someone? can love 
someone so much it hurts? yet still have room in their heart for another? 
o-or two others??
Willow spoke before her brain had a chance to stop her. She had decided to 
never ever talk about her feelings for Buffy, especially Buffy herself.
Quickly, she tried to plow on ahead.
Buffy caught the reference however, and a tiny ache manifested in her heart. 
<What the hell is this?> She thought.
?I-I just don?t want to hurt anyone? but? but I can?t be with Oz again? not 
now? now that I?ve fond Tara??
Then I guess you?ve made your decision? huh??
?Yeah? I guess.?
Buffy reached over and squeezed her friend?s hand.
?Just be honest Will? or it?ll only get worse.?
Willow smiled up at Buffy.
?I know Buffy. I?m all about some honesty.?
?Good.?
Buffy kept her hand on top of Willow?s. The two friends looked at each other 
without moving for a few moments.
<What the hell has gotten into me?> The blonde thought, but she didn?t move 
from her position.
Willow?s heart rate increased as she stared into the deep depths of her best 
friend?s eyes.
<Okay, what?s happening here? Wishful thinking gets me nowhere? but why do 
I have the feeling she?s about to kiss me?>
?You know I love you? right?? Buffy asked after what seemed like minutes.
Willow snapped out of her daze. She knew what Buffy meant and didn?t 
question it.
She nodded and said, ?Uh huh.?
?Good.? Buffy stroked the back of Willow?s hand softly with her thumb. 
?Because I don?t want you to ever forget that. Okay??
?Um?? She quickly glanced at their hands on the bed beside them. Tingles of 
desire were working there way through her. ?Okay??
The slayer looked at her best friend with loving, caring eyes. There was 
something else though, something she couldn?t quite put her finger on, and 
not sure she would want to. She knew she loved Willow, but lately, she had 
started to question just how far that love actually went. Instead of 
sticking around to find out however, Buffy had dove into her relationship 
with Riley, trying to block out whatever new feelings were coming up in her 
for Willow.
?Okay.? The Slayer breathed.
Again, neither of them moved for a few moments. The tension mounted and 
Willow thought she would either jump the Slayer right there, or die. Either 
one would not be good.

?Um? Buffy?? The redhead?s voice squeaked slightly.
?Yeah??
?A-are you? okay??
Buffy blinked, not believing she had actually been thinking about kissing 
the her witchy best friend.
?Oh? um? yeah?? She quickly removed her hand and stood up. ?You know? uh? 
just making sure you? uh? you?re all right??
She walked over to her own bed and flopped down.
?Yeah? um? thanks for letting me? ya know? talk.?
?You know you can talk to me anytime? about anything??
?Yeah??
Buffy rolled over to face the wall. Willow stared at her back, wondering 
what in the hell had just gone on between them.
After a few minutes, Buffy pulled her pillow under her head and said, ?I?m 
going to take a nap??
?Okay??
Willow continued to study her best friend.
<Why is everything so friggin complicated?? She questioned no one in 
particular. ]


The Slayer heard the soft sliding of the glass door and glanced up. 
Melissa, the night nurse was peaking in with a warm smile on her face.

?How?s our patient today?? She said, stepping all the way through the 
opening before closing it behind her.

Buffy smiled, relieved that Melissa was on duty tonight and not Jess. Jess 
had made the assumption that Buffy and Willow were lesbians and Buffy hadn?t 
the power to debate the reference at the time, leading Jess to believe it to 
be true, thus acting like a total and utter ignorant bitch since. Buffy 
never attempted to correct Jess?s assumptions since either and simply put up 
with her attitude, just as long as she took good care of Willow.

Buffy had disclosed this to Melissa after Buffy warmed to the confident and 
concerned young woman who had made the same assumption. Only Melissa 
thought it was touching and admitted it almost made her cry to see the love 
between them. Buffy corrected her assumption, told her about Jess, and to 
some extent, formed a friendship with the brown-haired nurse.

Despite what Buffy told Melissa about their relationship, the nurse was sure 
that there was genuine love and passion between the two women, whether they 
realized it or not.

?Fitful,? started Buffy. She stood up and walked toward the door. ?I think 
she? uh?? Buffy glanced toward the bathroom, then Melissa.
?Oh, alright.? The nurse began to open and close the small cupboard near the 
back of the room where the linens were kept. She glanced at Buffy who was 
still standing near the door.
?Did you wanna???
?Oh? um, no? I think? maybe she would, uh, want some privacy??
Buffy ducked out through the glass doors, the lump in her throat growing 
larger.
<Shit.> She thought simply. <Please get better soon Will. I know this is 
really selfish to think? but I don?t know how much longer I can stand this.>

?Buffy.?
The Slayer turned to see Xander and Anya just a few feet away.
?Hey guys.?
Quickly removing the gloves, apron, and mask, she moved to hug both of them.
?How is she?? Asked a concerned Anya.
?Resting?? Buffy started. She glanced toward the glass doors again, where 
Melissa had drawn the blinds for privacy. ?Melissa? that nurse I told you 
about??
Xander and Anya nodded in understanding.
??She?s in there? uh? helping Will??
?Oh you mean she?s-?
?Anya.? Xander said sternly.
They all knew by now that Willow wasn?t in control of her own body and the 
nurses often had to assist in those matters.
?Sorry.? Anya responded in a small voice.

Becoming a vengeance demon had, surprisingly, not changed how she felt about 
the friends she had made in all of them. Unfortunately, she was still 
lacking with some of the finer points of tact.

The three of them stood by the nurse?s station for a few moments, none of 
them looking anyone in the eye.

?Um, guys? Where?s Dawn?? Asked Buffy, realizing her sister hadn?t come up 
with Xander or his ex-fiancé turned demon.
?Bathroom? Responded Xander.
?Oh. Um? Listen, I think I?m going to grab a bite in the cafeteria while 
it?s still open?? Offered Buffy, finally looking at Xander. He was as 
haggard looking as Giles had been the day before. She noticed too, that he 
looked much older than his 22 years.
Xander and Anya nodded, knowing by now that if Willow woke up, one of them 
was to go and get the Slayer.
?Tell Dawn??
?Sure.? Nodded Anya.
?Here.? Said Xander.
He handed his cell phone to Buffy.
?It won?t do me any good up here, ya know.?
All cell phones were to be turned off because of the equipment.
?Switch it on in the cafeteria. I?m still waiting to hear back from Giles.?
?Oh. Okay.? Buffy nodded, sticking the slim cell in her pocket and moving 
toward the double out doors.



Buffy took the elevator to the ground floor and followed the arrows pointing 
the way to the hospital cafeteria, although she knew the route by heart now.

She grabbed a small salad, an orange, and a bottle of water before paying 
the cashier and taking a seat at a small table in the corner. It was the 
farthest away from the large table of laughing nurses that were sitting down 
for their dinner break.

She switched the cell phone on and laid the slim black mechanism on the 
table just beyond her tray. She glanced around at the décor of an area that 
she was slowly becoming very accustomed to. Even the cook who made 
hamburgers and other assorted hot sandwiches during the lunch rush knew her 
by name, having asked finally after seeing her there everyday for a week.


?Hey.?
Buffy looked up to see Dawn with her own yellow tray.
?Hey.?
?How is she??
?Um? mostly, the same.?
?Oh? w-well? that?s good right??
Dawn sat opposite Buffy, popping the top of a Coke.
?Uh, yeah? I mean? she could be? doing worse, right??
?Yeah? so??
?Um? I didn?t know if you wanted to be here? tonight? I know you must be 
getting sick of this place??
?No? I? I want to be here for Willow.?
Buffy sighed.
?Dawn? you know she? she may not make it.?
Dawn didn?t respond at first. She looked down at her own dinner, a wrapped 
chicken salad sandwich and a bag of chips.
?Don?t say that.? The slayer?s sister said finally.
?You know how I feel about Willow Dawn? even now? but? we have to be 
realistic? and??
?NO!?
?Dawn, please honey??
?Buffy? you can?t expect Willow to fight this if you?re not willing to 
believe she can.?

Buffy didn?t know what to say to her sister?s wise words. She knew they 
made sense.
Buffy rolled her orange from side to side, thinking about what Dawn had 
said.

After a few moments, she conceded.
?You?re right. I?m sorry? I shouldn?t have??
?No? it?s okay? it?s just that? it?s Willow??
?I know.?
?Buffy??
?Yeah??
?A-are you still? mad at her??
?Mad? At Willow??
?You were? when Xander first brought her home??
?I know? I? she tried to kill me, kill you? end the world??
?I know, but??
?But she was hurting? and the magic in her? was? sort of making her do those 
things? I know. I was? a little upset at her? yes.?
?You were pissed off.?
?Okay? that too? but ya know what Dawn??
?What??
?I never stopped loving her. Even as she kicked my ass all over the Magic 
Box and tried to kill Giles? even when she made the earth attack us? I never 
stopped loving her? I was just really? hurt, shocked, surprised? angry yes? 
but??
?I know??
?And besides? before she got sick? I was more numb than anything else.?
?Oh.?
?And I guess? maybe I was upset at myself too.?
?For what??
?For not being able to stop her. For not? not loving her enough maybe.?
?But you just said??
?Yes but? I don?t know Dawn??
Dawn nodded, knowing her sister was in a lot of pain and didn?t want to 
press the issue any further.
Buffy observed her sister as Dawn set to unwrapping her sandwich. Buffy had 
to admit; she was a lot smarter than people gave her credit for.
The conversation seemed to end there. Both picked at their food, mindful of 
the cell phone that rested between them, willing Giles to call with some 
form of good news. Each sister was caught up in her own thoughts.


[FLASHBACK]

Time was almost running out. The stars were in alignment and Glory had her 
key.

Willow sat at the Magic Box?s round table reading through the open books in 
front of her. Research girl was in full force, but this time it was 
personal. Her lover?s mind had been sucked out by the Hell God they sought 
to defeat, and her best friend?s sister?s life depended on it.

Buffy walked toward the redhead, briefly observing a napping Tara in the 
chair behind her.

?Will, what do you got for me??
Willow looked up, not sure how to tell the Slayer that she really hadn?t 
found much of anything.
?Some ideas.?
Buffy took a seat on the stairs leading to the loft, and Willow turned to 
face her.
?Well notions.? The witch continued. ?O-or, theories? based on wild 
speculation. Did I mention I?m not good under? pressure??
?I need you, Will. You?re my big gun.?
Alarm floods Willow.
?I?m your? no? I-I was never a gun. Someone else should be the gun. I-I 
could be a? a cudgel. Or? or a pointy stick.
Buffy leaned toward Willow slightly, looking into her eyes.
?You?re the strongest person here. You know that? right??
Willow frowned. How could the Slayer possibly think that about weak Willow 
Rosenberg.
?Well? no.?
?Will? you?re the only person that?s ever hurt Glory? at all. You?re my 
best shot at getting her on the ropes? so don?t get a jelly belly on me 
now.?
The witch brought her eyes away from the slayer, looking into her hands for 
a few brief moments.
?Well? I-I? do sort of have this one idea. But? last few days? I?ve mostly 
been looking into ways to help Tara.?
She met Buffy?s eyes again, pleading with her own big green ones.
?I-I know that shouldn?t be my priority??

Buffy leaned over and placed a soft hand on her friend?s knee, giving it a 
squeeze.

?Of course it should.?
?Well? I?ve been charting their essences? Mapping out. I think? if I can 
get close enough? I may be able to reverse what Glory did. Like? take back 
what she took from Tara. It? it might weaken Glory? or? make her less 
coherent. Or it might make all our heads explode.? She shrugged, not 
believing that she could actually pull it off.

Buffy smiled warmly, having full confidence in Willow?s abilities.

?I know you?ll fix her.? The blonde said, her hand still on Willow?s knee.
?I-I?? The redhead looked over to a still napping Tara. A ghost of a smile 
crossing her lips.
?I love her you know??
?I know.?

Willow looked into her best friend?s eyes once more, not looking away.

?But Buffy? I have to tell you? I mean? you have to know now? that? I?ve 
always loved you? most of all? that? I never stopped? and I know that? I?ll 
always love you??
?Will??
?No? listen? I? if something happens? and one of us? I need you to know 
that? you were always first? you know?? She glanced toward Tara briefly, 
then brought her gaze back upon the one true love of her life. ?But I know 
you could never? return that love? and I?ve accepted that? a-and Tara? she?s 
my everything? you know?? But? if need be? I want you to know? that? I?ll 
die to help save Dawn? to help you? I?d die??

The Slayer brought her hand to Willow?s cheek, placing her thumb on the 
witch?s lips.

?Shh? don?t talk like that. You?re not going to die. You?re going to fix 
Tara? and we?re going to save Dawn and stop Glory together. I?ll never?? 
Buffy fought the lump that was forming in her throat. ?I?d never let you 
die.?
?Buffy?? The redhead whispered.

Buffy leaned toward her, never breaking eye contact, and kissed Willow 
softly on the lips. Willow?s became wide at first, then slowly closed, 
savoring the soft but firm kiss she had always dreamt about. There was 
nothing passionate about it, it wasn?t meant to be, but Willow felt 
something all the same.

Buffy and Willow parted, their eyes catching each other?s again.

?I really love you Will??
?I? I know??
?Buffy.? Came Giles voice near the back of the shop.
Buffy glanced toward him to see Xander and Anya gathered there as well.

?Um? I?ll try to uh? work on this.? Willow sighed, returning to her books.
The slayer got up and began to walk away, placing her hand on Willow?s 
shoulder briefly before returning to the others at the back.
<Oh Goddess Buffy?>
She looked over as Tara began to stir. <I know what I have to do?> ]


tbc..

"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound
anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that
as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like
beautiful music"
-Soren Kierkegaard


Willow: Oh Buffy, you really need to have every square inch of your ass 
kicked.
Buffy: Then show me what you got, and I'll show you what a Slayer really is.

Who the hell am *i* to capitalize myself?


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