FIC: Dispelling the Darkness (6b/6)

["Red Willow" <reddwillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Title: Dispelling the Darkness
Author: Red Willow
Email: reddwillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
Disclaimers, Summary, and other info, please see part 1
Second half of the last chapter

***

Buffy ran down the hall, her torn jacket billowing behind her. The fear 
that had risen up in her made her sick to her stomach as the tears fell in 
large drops from her eyes. She saw nurses rushing around the room of her 
best friend, her love, and almost lost herself to the sobs that threatened 
to drown her.

Giles and Dawn were standing near the nurse?s station that was just beyond 
Willow?s room. Giles had his hands on Dawn?s shoulders as they both watched 
the nurses and doctor scrambling around their friend?s room.

Buffy squeaked to a stop at the door.

?Buffy.? She heard Dawn say softly behind her, but ignored it. She stepped 
into the room as the doctor and nurses attempted to revive the limp figure 
on the bed.

?Fight it!? She screamed, coming to the edge of the bed. ?Fight it Willow! 
Please fight!?

?Miss! Miss you have to leave!? Came a voice she didn?t recognize and 
therefore didn?t listen to.
?Miss!?

The nurse pulled Buffy by the arm only to be pushed into the wall by an 
angry, grief stricken Slayer.

?Buffy!? She heard Dawn scream from outside the room.
?Call security!? Another nurse yelled.
?Miss please!? Shouted another.

She felt another hand on her arm and was about to attack when she turned and 
saw it was Dawn?s.

?Buffy?? Dawn spoke quietly, tears freely flowing and dropping onto the soft 
material of her shirt.

Buffy looked back to the struggling doctor and nurses who were trying to 
save her friend.

?Fight it Will?? She whispered weakly before allowing her sister to lead her 
from the room.

The Slayer slid to the floor with her head in her hands, weeping loudly as 
Dawn wrapped her arms around her older sister and cried with her.


***

She pulled at the roots, tearing her own flesh in a desperate attempt to 
free herself. The blackness was overwhelming, clouding her vision, her 
thoughts, covering her with its promised death.

The pain was never ending, it consumed in its greedy attempt to own her. 
Willow tried to scream but the roots gagged her, choked her with its black 
bile, tortured her with her grief and guilt, shamed her with its twists and 
turns through her body.

She knew it had to be the end. She had waited for a battle but was only 
confronted with herself, made to run through a thick, foreign forest, was 
tricked by an image of her fallen lover. And now slimy roots were strangling 
her as her personal Angel of Death laughed softly in her ear.

She was trying to fight. But how could she? What did she have to fight 
with, to bargain with? She had done horrible things. Wicked things and she 
was paying the price.

She continued to struggle even as she thought that maybe this was better, 
that maybe everyone would be better off without her around.

?Fight it Willow.?

Willow heard Buffy?s voice again and was reminded that she had Buffy. That 
Buffy wanted her to live. That Xander had saved her and would be there for 
her. That Dawn loved her, forgave her. That Giles had come back to help her.

?Willow please? fight this? don?t die? live? for me? I love you so much it?s 
tearing me apart in side??

Buffy?s words echoed in her head even as another root wrapped around her 
neck.

?I want to liii?!? Willow tried to scream.

Her words were choked off by the roots that squeezed her neck, pulling her 
deeper into the blackness that wanted nothing more than to devour her.



***

One year later.


Dawn stepped out onto the back porch with a pitcher and a small stack of 
plastic cups.

?I made lemonade.? She stated before placing the pitcher on a small table 
beside the bench.

?Thanks Dawn.? Responded Xander.

He walked over to the pitcher and poured himself a cup of the cool yellow 
liquid.

They both stood there quietly. Dawn sipped her drink while Xander gulped 
his down before letting Dawn pour a second helping this time.

?So how?s it coming?? Asked Dawn.

?Gazebo?s done. Well? it?ll need another coat of sealant. But I?ll get that 
this weekend.?

At the beginning of the summer, Buffy had asked Xander to help clear out the 
back yard of bushes and some of the flowerbeds. They had wanted to put up a 
small gazebo and plant a Willow tree. Xander had been more than happy to 
help. It would give him an opportunity to practice his carpentry skills and 
since he had moved into Willow and Tara?s old room to help out, he could 
work on it after work and on the weekends.

Buffy walked over to them, blowing stray hairs out of her face.

?Cold. Liquid. Good.? She said, dropping the shovel at her feet and reaching 
for the red cup Dawn held out to her.

?I can?t believe how hot it is this summer.? Dawn said as she wiped a bead 
of sweat from her brow.

Buffy glared at her. The Slayer was wearing jean shorts and a tank top and 
was soaked in sweat.

?But? I?m sure you?re feeling it? much, much worse? than??
Dawn trailed off, turning her attention to the house.
?Maybe I should go back to making lunch.?

Buffy smiled at her sister.

?We?re just about finished.? Buffy said turning back toward the gazebo. 
?Let?s wait on lunch. Okay??

?Sure.?

The three stood there quietly for a few moments.

Xander sighed. ?I can?t believe it?s been a year.?

?I know?? Buffy said sadly. She looked down at her soil covered hands and 
wiped them absently on her pants.

?I miss her.? Dawn said.

?Me too, Dawn. We all do.? Buffy responded.

She gave her sister a quick hug before pouring another cup of lemonade and 
walking back over to the where they had planted the sapling near the gazebo.

?Here.? Buffy said, holding the cup out.

The redhead sat back on her heels and wiped her hands on her shorts.

?Thanks.? Said Willow before gulping the cold drink down. ?Oh, that?s good 
stuff.? She added after emptying the glass.

Buffy smiled down at her before taking the cup.
?Well,? Started Willow, ?that?s it.?
?We done??
?Yup.?

Buffy stepped back, looking at the sapling and imagined how it would look in 
the coming years as it grew into a full sized Willow tree.

?That?s going to look so good.?
?I know.? Willow agreed smiling, proud of their work.
?I can?t believe we built that.? Buffy said, indicating the gazebo.
?Well? I think actually Xander built it.?
?W-well? we helped? hammer and? we handed him stuff.?

Willow smiled at the Slayer and kissed her gently on the cheek. Buffy 
smiled and leaned against the redhead.

?Do you think she?s okay with this?? Buffy asked.
?Yes.?
?How can you be certain??
?Because I?m happy. You?re happy. Tara wouldn?t want it any other way.? 
Willow said simply.
?That makes sense.?
?Just call me sense girl.?

Buffy smiled and gave Willow a quick kiss on the cheek.

?Do you want to do this now? or? later??
?No? let?s do it now.?
?Okay??
?Let me get her.?



Looking at the most recent picture of Tara that they could find, Willow 
smiled and traced her finger along the silver frame.

?Hello love.? She said, picking the urn that housed Tara?s ashes up and 
cradling it in her arms.
?I miss you so much, Tara. I think about you everyday. I know you?re 
looking out for us, I can feel you.? Willow said smiling. ?I?ll never stop 
loving you, you know that right??

Willow turned and began her slow walk back through the house to the 
backyard.

?Well darling, Xander finished the gazebo and we planted the tree. So??

The redhead came out onto the porch and smiled at her friends. The friends 
that had stuck by her, loved her, and forgave her for everything she had put 
them through. The friends that believed she could fight the morbi malitiosi, 
and had seen her through her recovery. These people were more her family 
than her own parents, who no one was able to get in touch with during her 4 
weeks in the hospital. Not until after she was already back at Buffy?s did 
they come by with questions about the messages they had gotten.

They were a real family. Her and Buffy were together, Dawn was staying out 
of trouble, going to school under the watchful eye of Willow, and Xander, 
although he still became depressed over Anya?s leaving town every once in 
awhile, had become a stabling force in the home. He brought in an extra 
income too which helped bunches. And even though it had all resulted from 
Tara?s death, from Willow losing herself to the terrible magicks and almost 
dying herself, she couldn?t have been happier to have things turn out the 
way they had.

?Ready?? Asked Buffy, coming up beside Willow.

Willow nodded and the foursome moved in front of the tree, standing behind a 
kneeling Willow.

?Okay Tara.? Willow started. ?I know you are around, I can feel you, so I 
know these ashes aren?t you anymore? but? like I explained earlier? we 
wanted you to have a nice resting place? not on some shelf ya know? So??

Willow stuck the urn in the deep hole she had dug earlier.

??here you go. Now you have your very own Willow tree. A-and we?ll come out 
here? and sit in the gazebo that Xander built, and we?ll talk? a-and?? 
Willow trailed off, fresh tears springing to her eyes.

Buffy knelt down beside her and wrapped one strong arm around the redhead?s 
shoulder.

?Hey Tara.? Buffy spoke softly, respectfully. ?We miss you.? Buffy wiped her 
own tears from her eyes. ?I hope you like it here. I figure? I?m the Slayer 
and I?m not going anywhere? and this is our home? so? as long as we?re all 
here, you should have a nice place to stay too.?

Dawn knelt on the other side of Willow as Xander put his arms around all 
three girls from behind.

?I miss you too.? Dawn spoke with choked sobs. ?We won?t ever forget you.?

?Never.? Agreed Willow, choking back the thick sobs that threatened to 
overcome her.

Buffy only held onto Willow tighter.

After a few tense moments of all four of them wiping at their eyes, Willow 
began the task of moving the dirt back into the hole, covering the urn with 
the rich soil that would help the Willow sapling grow into a strong shelter 
for Tara.

The redhead kissed the tips of her dirty fingers and placed her hand on top 
of where the urn was buried.

?I love you.? She whispered before standing up with her friends and heading 
back toward the house.


?I wish Giles was here.? Said Dawn.
?Me too.? Agreed Willow.
?Next month.? Buffy reminded them.
?How about we go out for lunch?? Asked Willow.
?Really?? Asked Dawn, excited about getting out of her summer chore.
?Sounds good to me.? Remarked Buffy. ?Ah, but? showers are a must.?
?Definetely.? Xander agreed. He smelled his under arm and grimaced.


Dawn laughed and opened the back door for everyone.

Willow glanced back and just for a second, thought she heard Tara?s voice on 
the wind as the tiny limbs on the sapling swayed in the breeze.



Upstairs, Buffy zipped up her clean jeans and gave her thigh a hard slap.

?What are you doing?? Asked Willow coming into the room, combing her hair.

?Think I need to get back into serious training mode.?

Willow grinned. ?You train everyday.?
?Yeah? but I think I?m getting?? The Slayer didn?t finish.

She turned around in the mirror, looking at herself.

Willow shook her head. ?Your fine. Besides? Slayer genes? you probably won?t 
ever get?? Willow made a gesture with her hand to indicate whatever it was 
that Buffy was referring to.

?Hmmm??
?Hmmm?? Questioned the redhead, pulling on a clean shirt.

?Will you still love me when I do get??? Buffy asked the redhead, looking at 
her with a pout.

Willow finished buttoning the fly on her jeans and walked over to the blonde 
girl she had loved for 7 years.

?I?ve loved you since I met you, Buffy. And I?ll love you forever? no 
matter what you look like? no matter if you?re the Slayer or not.?

Buffy smiled and met Willow?s lips. They kissed softly, secure in the 
knowledge that what they had was genuine and divine.

Buffy broke from the kiss and held Willow tightly in her arms.

?I love you so much? I couldn?t stand to lose you.?
?You?ll never lose me.? Willow said quietly.
?I thought I had? before I even? really had you??
?I know?? Willow hugged Buffy tight.
?Will? I?m sorry about everything? that happened? I wish I??

Willow brought her fingers to the Slayer?s lips and hushed her.

?No. I don?t want to hear about that anymore, okay? I?ve dealt with guilt 
first hand Buffy? I know how it can rip someone up inside, consume them 
until there?s nothing left. You?re the Slayer? but you can?t protect 
everyone, all the time.?
?But I??
?No?? Willow kissed Buffy?s lips softly again before continuing. ?Everything 
that happened last year. It wasn?t your fault. It was Warren?s? and I took 
care of him.?

Buffy saw mixed emotions that washed over Willow briefly but didn?t question 
it.

?Everything else that happened? Buffy that was me? and it was my guilt to 
live with, to fight. You guys forgave me? gave me a reason to live? None of 
this is your fault. Tara? Tara?s in a good place? a-and you and I are 
together? we?re a family. No more carrying the wait of the world on your 
shoulders. You can?t stop every bad thing from happening.?

Buffy wrapped her best friend, her lover, up in her arms and held her 
against her, feeling her steady, strong heartbeat.

?What would I do without you?? She asked.

Willow shrugged.

?You?ll never have to find out? so don?t think about it.?

The two continued to hold each other tight until Dawn pounded on the door 
telling them that she and Xander were starving.

The two pulled apart and grinned at each other before heading out the room 
and down the stairs to join their family.






"What is a poet? An unhappy person who conceals profound
anguish in his heart but whose lips are so formed that
as sighs and cries pass over them they sound like
beautiful music"
-Soren Kierkegaard


Willow: Oh Buffy, you really need to have every square inch of your ass 
kicked.
Buffy: Then show me what you got, and I'll show you what a Slayer really is.

Who the hell am *i* to capitalize myself?


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