BuffyWantsWillow::FIC:Something New (5/?)

[Pedder <russianknife@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Author: Pedder
Title: Something New (5/?)
Disclaimer: The BtVS universe was created by Joss
Whedon, I'm just borrowing the characters for a while.
I don't claim any of it, it's not mine, I think you
get it.
Chapter Summary: A loose reworking of 'Hush' with a
B/W angle, Willow's POV.
Feedback: Anything, please.
Archive: Go for your life. Just let me know, k?

Sorry about the really long wait (for anyone who
actually remembers this from when I posted the last
part), but life's been trying to kill me. Seriously, I
think life has it in for me. It's put out a contract
on me, or something?

************

Doing the patrolling thing. Gotta love it.

Or not.

I mean, what's so great about being out until all
hours of the night, wandering around trying to find
something that wants you dead? You'd think the safest
option would be to cower inside and never come out
unless surrounded by four SWAT teams and covered by
sharpshooters.

Then again, I've got Buffy. And that's even better.

We're wandering around Sunnydale at the moment, but
instead of hunting, Buffy's mostly doing crowd
control. Not really what's in her job description, but
since we have no idea what we should be looking for?
well, this is something Buffy can do so she doesn't
feel so helpless.

I'm not even really concentrating, and my thoughts
drift to a few hours ago. I had no idea anything could
be that? intense. I don't know if it was just being
with Buffy, but I have this suspicion that not being
about to speak sort of enhanced the experience. All
day I had felt Buffy and I becoming more? I don't know
how to describe it. It's like we were able to
communicate what we felt better without words getting
in the way, and when it came to something as intimate
as sex? it was just amazing. I don't know how else to
describe it. There are no words - and I think that's
the point.

I think I may be exaggerating the experience in my own
mind, but I think that when you really love the person
you're with, it takes things to a new level. I don't
have much basis for comparison, and I know Buffy
doesn't either, but I just can't see how being with
someone you're not emotionally connected to could be
anywhere in the same league. Oz was special, and I
loved him, but Buffy? she's? once again, there aren't
words in the human vocabulary that could explain what
she means to me and how she makes me feel. She's
Buffy, and I think that's the only thing I can say.

We had fallen asleep after we made love, or at least,
I had. I'm not sure about Buffy. When I woke just
before sundown, she was holding me to her and looking
at me with the most intense glow in her eyes. It
wouldn't surprise me if she hadn't slept at all.

The funny thing was, I kind of expected a bit of
awkwardness. Not that I'm uncomfortable with our
relationship or anything, but we are both girls, and
neither one of us had ever done something like that
before. It was new for both of us, and it's
understandable to be a bit uncomfortable with big
changes in your life.

The funny thing was though, I didn't sense any
awkwardness. None. Not a thing. Of course, we couldn't
get ourselves tangled up with words, so I suppose
that's actually a blessing. All we could do was
communicate how we felt, and that's better done
without speaking.

Thinking about the bright smile she gave me when I
woke up, I'm fairly certain that she really didn't
sleep. I think she might have been afraid that she
would wake up and find me gone. That's been her only
experience so far, and it's not a nice one. Angel was
gone and then tried to kill her, although not without
tearing up her heart first, and Parker promised he'd
call and then shot her down. I'm surprised Buffy even
allowed herself to be with me, since I'd be closer to
the Angel situation than Parker. Not that I'd go evil
on her or anything, but I think in the back of her
mind she'd have this subconscious fear that making
love with me would cause something terribly bad to
happen.

Like there's any way in hell I'd let it.

I'm not letting Buffy go. Angel did, Parker did. Well,
they were idiots. Buffy's the most amazing person, and
she doesn't even know how special she is, which is
even more endearing. And I don't mean special like
Slayer special. I mean her as a person, and I don't
think she's ever realised that.

I mean to show her every single day for the rest of my
life.

If she'll let me.

There's my insecurity rearing its head again, but I
just can't help it. I daze out a bit, and my mind
wanders to how special Buffy is, and then I wonder
what it is she could possibly see in me. She's
amazing, and I'm just? me. I've got so many faults
it's probably endangering the country that I live in
California.

Now, I know Buffy has her faults as well, but I think
it's a sign that I'm hopelessly in love that I don't
care and I love every single one of them because they
make up who she is.

Walking through town, looking at the way society is
breaking down, I pray that Buffy and I never reach a
point like that. With the things we, and especially
Buffy, deal with every day, we can?t afford to succumb
to hopelessness. I thought living on the Hellmouth
bred people stronger than this, but I guess I was
wrong. People here aren?t strong, they?re just very
good at selective blindness.

It?s so annoying.

Granted, sometimes it makes Buffy?s job easier, but
sometimes it?s a downright pain. Every time Buffy gets
caught doing something that probably just saved the
world, she gets in trouble. Not so much now that her
mom is in on it, but the police still have it in for
her. It?s not fair, but since when was that ever a
valid complaint?

Buffy?s doing her best to calm people down, and when
that doesn?t work, she simply separates them and makes
it clear that unless they leave, they?re in for a
world of pain.

Did you know she can do that with just a look? It?s
absolutely fascinating to watch.

Up ahead there?s two guys who look like they?re about
to try and remove each other?s heads. Buffy sighs
inaudibly beside me, and quickens her step. I speed up
with her, but before we?re even halfway across the
distance, Riley suddenly shows up and separates them
himself.

Riley? What the hell? How come he?s so in control? He
should be just as freaked as the rest of Sunnydale.
That?s not fair. What?s his deal anyway? He?s taking
Buffy?s job.

Okay, so maybe I?m still a bit against Riley. He?s got
it bad for my girl, so I don?t think you can blame me
for not wanting him with fifty feet of her.

Buffy evidently doesn?t notice my unease, and
continues toward Riley, twisting the arm of one of the
fighters as she passes, making him drop the pipe he?d
just picked up for a weapon. Buffy doesn?t even look
as the man collapses in pain, and I guess I don?t have
much sympathy for him either.

For some reason I hang back a bit as Buffy stops
before Riley, who finally notices her from where he?s
been trying to calm down the other fighter. A smile
crosses his face before concern settles there, and he
asks her if she?s okay. I don?t think he?s noticed me.
Buffy nods her answer, and they somehow manage to have
an awkward silence before Riley motions that he has to
go. Buffy just shrugs, and has just turned back toward
me when Riley grabs her and spins her around.

And kisses her.

Hey! Off limits!

Buffy apparently feels the same way, and pushes Riley
off when he?s barely had a chance to make contact. He
backs off a little, looking confused, and Buffy slaps
him hard on the chest with the heel of her hand. He
gives her this look, like he?s asking what the slap
was for, and Buffy just stares at him like he?s lost
his mind.

Hey, Riley! Get it through your head. Buffy doesn?t
like you. Deal with it. And don?t go kissing my girl. 

I think my territorial jealousy takes about fifty
points off my IQ. Buffy good, Riley BAD!

I?m losing my mind.

Buffy takes the few steps needed to put her by my
side, and Riley stares for a minute before shaking his
head angrily and stalking off. Buffy puts her hand on
my arm and turns me to face her, and I can see the
apology in her eyes. I shake my head and smile,
indicating that she did nothing wrong, and has no need
to apologise. I?m not mad at Buffy. I?m pissed as all
hell at Riley, but I?m not mad at Buffy.

Buffy smiles gratefully, and leans in to kiss me a
quick kiss, and it isn?t until she pulls away that I
realise that I don?t give a damn that she just kissed
me in public. I don?t care what the rest of the world
thinks about our relationship. If they have a problem
with it they can take it up with Buffy, and after that
I don?t think they?ll be so judgemental.

At least not if they want to keep all their body
parts.

Ewww. Mental image. I?m definitely devolving here. I
shouldn?t be having these weird thoughts of my
girlfriend beating up anyone who looks at us funny.
Just because she could? well, that?s no reason to get
all aggressive like. I?m starting to scare me.

Nah, I?m over it. I mean, if it?s a choice between
being more aggressive because I have Buffy, and losing
Buffy because I let some jerk move in on her, then I?m
all for the first option. Go Neanderthalism!

And now I?m making up words.

That can?t be a good sign.

Buffy and I start heading back toward the dorms,
apparently we both decided that after seeing Riley,
we?ve had enough for one night. I don?t think there?s
really much we can do anyway. I mean, crowd control is
all well and good, but as soon as Buffy leaves the
fights probably just break out again. I think it?s
kind of useless attempting to control it.

I just wish that our society were stronger. We should
be able to withstand disaster and continue to function
normally during something like this. Just because
something finally happened in this town that the
people can?t selectively ignore, suddenly everyone?s
either afraid to leave their houses or out committing
random acts of vandalism. I find that it?s really
depressing that our entire structure of society just
collapses at the slightest touch.

Well, okay, so maybe that wasn?t really fair. I guess
the entire town losing their voices is a bit more than
a ?slight touch?, but I still feel I have a point.
We?re so proud of ourselves as a country, we should be
stronger in the face of adversity, even if we don?t
really know what?s happening. Especially in Sunnydale.
I would have thought that this town would breed
stronger people, but it seems that almost everyone
manages to just ignore the Hellmouth and the trouble
it causes.

I think the only thing I can really say to sum up
society?s reaction to this is ?People are weird.?

And don?t you forget it.

-------------

Buffy wakes me up the next morning with by gently
shaking me on the shoulder, and it's only the grim
expression on her face that stops my wordless
complaint that there are better ways to wake me up.

Giving me a shaky smile, Buffy hands me a newspaper
and climbs into bed with me. Her arms wrap around me
and pull me close as I read the headline. "Brutal
Slaying", is the main one, and further down there's
another. "Fifteen Year Old Stabbed, Heart Missing."

Oh. Ewww. Oh god. Bad. This is very, very bad.

Buffy's arms tighten around me, and I'm incredibly
grateful for the comfort that brings. I read over the
rest of the front page, and from the descriptions of
the murders (which I could have lived without) they
both appear connected. Buffy reaches around me and
taps the bottom corner, where there's a small column
that announces a third murder. There's a note that
says the story is continued on another page, but I
don't want to read it.

I twist in Buffy's arms to she can see my face.
'Giles?' I ask silently. She nods, and gives me one
last squeeze before we climb out of bed. While I'm
dressing, Buffy runs out of the room for a minute, and
I'm pretty much ready to leave by the time she
returns. I look at her to ask her where she went, but
she just smiles at me and pulls a paper bag out from
behind her back.

She looks at the floor for a second, and it's adorable
how shy she looks in that moment. When she looks up at
me again, her smile is still in place, and she mouths
'breakfast for you.'

Aww. That's so sweet.

I don't bother saying thankyou, but I think she gets
the message anyway when I virtually jump at her and
start kissing her. Her arms wrap around my waist, and
we stay that way for a while before she pushes me
gently down onto my bed. I don't actually remember
crossing the room, but right now, I don't care.

Buffy lowers herself down onto me, her eyes locked on
mine. I don't want to break the connection that forms,
so I wait for Buffy to make a move. Eventually she
does, and she dips her head just a little until she
finds my lips. I close my eyes as her tongue glides
out to part my lips, and her hands start to roam over
my body as the kiss deepens.

I feel the buttons on my shirt being undone, and the
thought briefly crosses my mind that I really
shouldn't have bothered to get dressed. But the
electric touch of Buffy's cool hands against my
overheated skin is enough to banish any further
thought, even from my mind.

My own hands start to work at Buffy's clothing, and
before long her shirt is off and she's somehow managed
to divest herself of her own pants while helping me
with mine. She moves slowly back up my body until her
lips once again find mine, and the touch of our bare
skin is almost too much for me to handle. Considering
what Buffy can to do me with just a look, this is?
well?

Buffy abandons my lips for the time being, and nips at
my neck while her fingers work at the clasp of my bra.
I barely notice as she slides it off and drops it to
the floor, her hands now driving me to distraction.
She moves up my body a little to nip at my ear, and I
can feel her warm breath there as I hear-

A loud banging noise.

What the?

Buffy lets out a silent groan and collapses on top of
me, her face buried in my neck. Not that I don't like
the feeling I get from the full body contact, but what
the hell was that noise?

The fog over my mind clears as it comes again, and I
suddenly feel very stupid. Right. Someone's at the
door. That noise was someone knocking.

Nice deduction, Willow.

Can't they just go away? We're in the middle of
something here.

But the knocking becomes me insistent, and Buffy lifts
her head to look at me, a silent apology in her eyes.
I shake my head, telling her that it isn't necessary,
and give her a quick kiss before we both get off the
bed and get dressed. When we're ready, Buffy opens the
door.

Oh. Giles. He always did have the worst timing.

He nods 'good morning' to us both, then motions to a
pile of books and papers that he's carrying under one
arm. He jerks his head at us, telling us to follow,
and Buffy and I just look at each other and shrug. I
guess Giles found something. Which is good,
considering the murders last night. But still?

He couldn't have found it in, say, another hour?

--------

I have no idea why I'm sitting in our psych classroom.
Giles just led us here, and we found Xander and Anya
already seated and waiting expectantly. Anya has
popcorn.

How very strange.

I waved hello and grabbed a seat. Buffy did the same,
after tossing Xander the message board she brought
with her. I have mine too, it's currently tucked down
beside me on the chair.

Giles is setting something up out the front, I think
he's fiddling with Walsh's projector. What the hell
does he need that for? What's he done, made us a slide
show?

He finally figures out what he's doing, and he flips
on the power and presses a button on the stereo. Music
fills the air, and beside me I can see Buffy raise her
eyebrows.

Geez, Giles. Melodramatic much?

He puts up the first overhead, and I can't help the
smirk that forms on my face when it's backwards. He
watches us, waiting for us to read it, and I point at
the screen in an attempt to tell him it's backwards.
He finally catches on, and turns it around the right
way.

There's not much on it, just the words 'Who are the
Gentlemen?'. Giles changes it after a minute, and the
new one reads 'What do they want?'

Ooh. I know that one. Me, over here. I point at my
chest, and Buffy smiles, nodding her agreement. Xander
looks a bit confused though, and holds his hands in
front of him like he's cupping breasts he doesn't
have. 'Boobies?' he mouths, and I can't help but roll
my eyes. Giles puts up anther slide, this one with
pictures of hearts all over it. I point at it, and
Xander nods in comprehension.

I love the guy, but seriously, he's got a one track
mind.

'They come to a town?'

And we have pictures. Heh, they're so cute.

'They steal all the voices, so no one can scream?'

Oh. So that's it. Bad Gentlemen.

Okay, that sounded weird.

'Then?'

Ah. More pictures. And these ones? not so cute.
They're still very cartoonish, but now they're less
Smurfs and more Itchy and Scratchy.

I think Giles needs therapy.

Xander starts clicking to get everyone's attention,
and Giles stops the show for a minute. After finishing
writing something, Xander holds it up and shows it
around. 'How do we kill them?' is the question.

Movement next to me makes my attention turn to Buffy,
and I don't even want to know what she's doing. I know
what it looks like she's suggesting, but, eww? She
getting looks from everyone else in the room too, and
I reach out my hand and slap her on the arm.

She looks at me as if to ask 'What?' and I just shake
my head. She stares at me for a moment before her eyes
go wide, and she slaps me back lightly before reaching
into her bag and pulling out a stake and repeating her
earlier motion.

Oh. That makes sense. Stab them. Violence. Good.
That's what I thought she meant.

Giles puts up another slide that informs us that no
sword can kill them, but a princess screamed once and
they all died.

Where does he get this stuff?

I get an idea and start rummaging through my bag as
Buffy leans across me and snags my message board. She
starts writing something, but I've found what I'm
looking for, and I hold it up for Giles to see. He
shakes his head at my CD (not even commenting on my
brilliant performance of dying Gentlemen) and puts up
another slide.

'Only a real human voice.'

Yeah, well you've got an answer for everything, don't
you?

Buffy clicks for attention, and holds up the board.
'How do I get my voice back?' is written in Buffy's
small handwriting, and Giles shrugs.

Hah! Don't have an answer now, do ya?

---------

I hate this part.

Buffy's out patrolling, and I'm stuck in our dorm room
attempting to find anything on the net that will help
Buffy get her voice back. So far, it's been hours, and
still nothing. I found the fairy tale that Giles found
the Gentlemen in, but that didn't tell me squat. I'll
tell you one thing though, fairytales are just plain
viscous. Especially when they have illustrations.

In colour.

I mean talk about eww?

It's weird some of the things I found, though. Did you
know that almost all fairytales have been changed so
small children don't get traumatised? Take 'The Little
Mermaid' for example. Before Disney found it, Arial
didn't get the Prince, he married the evil chick
instead, and Arial was turned into foam. The actual
story is really sad, I almost cried. I probably would
have, if I hadn't already been partially desensitised
by the way the dwarfs sold everything they owned to
buy Snow White a coffin.

As interesting as it is, I don't think anything I've
found is of any use, and I've pretty much given up
hope of finding a way for Buffy to get her voice back.
I think I'll give it one more try, but I need a break
for a little while.

A loud thumping down the hall causes me to open my
eyes, and it's the crick in my neck I feel as I move
my head that informs me that I must have fallen asleep
at my desk. The thumping noise comes again, and it
sounds like someone's knocking on all the doors in the
hallway. The noise seems almost unnatural in the
silence of the night, but something's going on out
there. And since I'm the only one here, I guess I
should probably check it out.

I open my door, and not seeing anyone right away, I
turn my head just in time to see someone slam into me.
We both land on the ground, and I notice with some
surprise that it's that shy girl from the wicca group.
It takes me a moment to get over my confusion, but
when I collect myself a little I can clearly see the
terror in her eyes. Looking down the hall at the way
she came, I gasp silently in shock at the creatures
chasing her.

I recognise the Gentlemen from Giles' pictures and my
own research, but nowhere did it say they floated. Oh,
man, that's just way creepy. And I don't even want to
go into the monkey guys in straitjackets.

The girl grasps my arm and pulls me up, and it's only
when I try and put weight on my right foot that I
notice I must have damaged my ankle. Limping on my
other foot we both race for the stairwell, with the
girl supporting some of my weight.

Well, at least she's helping me after injuring me. I
think I'm really lucky she didn't take off and leave
me there. There's no way I'd have been able to move
this fast on my own.

We make it down the stairs, but those mental hospital
rejects are right behind us. Seeing the door to the
laundry room I steer us towards it, but as soon as we
get inside I collapse, the pain in my ankle too much
for me. Blondie locks the door, and quickly crouches
down beside me. She's staring at me a little too
intensely for my comfort, but I let it slide for the
moment. My concentration is elsewhere, anyway.

Narrowing my eyes, I focus everything I can on the
food machine, willing it to move. There was no way
that lock was going to hold. The machine wobbles, but
I can't make it do more than that.

Come on, damn it! I refuse to be found tomorrow
morning and have my autopsy read "Mauled by wild
dogs".

Gathering all the force I can from my surroundings I
throw it all at the food machine. Still all it does is
wobble, and I have nothing more than this. Argh! Come
on, you damn piece of?

My head snaps sideways to stare at Blondie when she
grabs my hand. My first instinct is to pull away, and
my second to offer comfort, and I'm about to follow my
second instinct when power rushes through me. Not
questioning my good fortune, I channel it and direct
it to where I need it to go. With almost no
resistance, the food machine slides along the floor
and slams solidly into the door. I stare at it for a
second, an unbelievable high rushing through me,
before I come down enough for realisation to set in.

Oh, wow.

That was?

Wow.

I don't think I've ever felt something so?

Wow.

I'm breathing hard as I turn my attention to Blondie,
and it's easy to see she felt that too. That power,
all that energy, it was all from her.

I've so got me a new spellcasting buddy.

She's still gripping my hand, and I pull away when I
realise almost guiltily that I'm holding hers just as
tight. Something flashes through her eyes when I break
the contact, but I'm too busy concentrating on Buffy
to care right now. I know it shouldn't matter, but for
some reason I feel guilty for touching the girl. Just
because I'm with Buffy now doesn't mean I can't hold
hands with other people. I always had physical contact
with Buffy when I was dating Oz. I've done nothing
wrong here.

Still, I don't take her hand again.

I open my mouth to ask her her name, before I remember
we can't talk. I close it again, feeling slightly
stupid, when something rushes into my mouth and
settles almost uncomfortably in my throat. I try to
cough, and I'm so surprised when I can hear it that I
almost jump. Clearing my throat, the sound seems
almost unnatural.

"I? uh? I guess we've got our voices back," I say
lamely.

Blondie nods, her eyes dropping to the floor as her
shyness kicks in. I think it's kind of rude I keep
calling her Blondie, so I ask her what her name is,
hoping that she doesn't remember that I've probably
heard it before. I think someone in the wicca group
said it, but I kind of forgot.

"Tara," she says softly.

"Thanks for your help with the door, Tara," I say,
completely at a loss.

When she doesn't say anything, I decide that I don't
want to be stuck in the laundry all night, and since
we can talk again, it's probably safe to go out. I
stand up and limp to the door, anxious to find Buffy.
If I can just get back up to our room, she should be
there soon.

Of course, there's now the small problem of unblocking
the door.

**********

Well, that's chapter 5. Hopefully I'll finish six
sooner than this one, but don't count on it. Life's
throwing me a million curve balls at once at the
moment, and it's killing me. Add to that I have to
write a novel for an English course I'm doing, and
I've got too few hours in each day. So, sorry about
the delays, but I guess that's life.

Later (quite a bit, probably),

Pedder


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