FIC: Wild one 11/?

["jend1205" <jend2002@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don't own just like it.
Rating: G-R and all points between mostly language and violence
Pairing: Willow/ Buffy
Spoilers: I guess all of the shows this is A/U but some of it might 
come up.
Summery: A/U A different first season, different Willow.
Author notes: I am still working on Learning to live. Let me know if 
you think.



Buffy walked out to the courtyard of Giles apartment complex and 
sat down next to Jenny. She really needed to talk to someone about 
how she was felling, `before I go completely insane', she thought. 
Buffy stared at the ground trying to come up with the right 
words, "Hey Miss, um I mean Jenny." Jenny could sense Buffy 
hesitation and decided to let her of the hook, "Willow or the 
slaying?"
"Huh"?
"Do you want to talk about you being the slayer or about Willow", 
Jenny asked.
"Both, what the hell good is being the slayer when I can't even help 
someone when they are in trouble. Everyone stops me. Last night when 
she was fighting ten vamps Giles stops me. Friday she is being 
attacked by a big football player,Xander stops me. Hell I tried to 
help her in the bathroom the first day and she stops me. I mean what 
the fuck. Isn't my job to protect people? I just feel so helpless 
when comes to her." Tears of frustration began to fall from Buffy's 
eyes.
"I know how you feel, Buffy, I am a witch and could take care of 
this. Angel is a vampire and could take care of it too but that's not 
what we do. The best way to help her is to be there for her. Willow 
doesn't know anything other then what she has. The only other thing 
she has to compare it to is Xander and his is as fucked up as hers."
"Can I ask you something else? Uh, um, ah hell, when did you know 
that you were gay"?
"I was about sixteen, when I realized that my attraction for women 
went beyond natural curiosity. Are you having feelings for a girl, 
Buffy"?
"I think so but I don't know. My head is so jumbled up right now I 
don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. She kisses me twice and 
walks away. What the hell am I supposed to think"?
"I am going out on a limb here and assume we are talking about 
Willow? Buffy, you are fifteen years old I don't think you should 
worry so much, let things happen the way that they happen. I can tell 
you that she is bi-sexual but to love someone one has to be able to 
love themselves and I'm not sure that Willow can say that. 
Considering all the bad things that has happened in her short life 
she could be a lot worse but she still has a lot issue that she has 
to work out. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't explore the 
feelings that you have for her. It might be the best thing that could 
happen not just for her but you too. I just want you to be careful, 
remember that she is not like everyone else. I just don't want you to 
get hurt."
"I will and I'm not even sure if I plan on doing anything about the 
feelings. I'm scared Jenny. I mean how bad would it hurt her if I 
acted on them and then realized that it wasn't what I wanted."
"That might be a risk, yes, but is that fair to either of you. I know 
that it can be scary. I remember the first woman I fell for, it took 
me forever to tell her how I felt, only to find out that she was 
feeling the same way. Do you know we wasted months of not being 
together because we were afraid? I would hate to see you go through 
that. Just be honest with her and yourself. Buffy the best advice 
that I can give you is to listen to your heart. Most of the time it 
knows what the brain doesn't". Buffy thought about the bolt of 
electricity that had gone through her, how the world melted away, the 
way the that she didn't want it to end, when Willow had kissed her, 
turned to Jenny and smiled, "My heart tells me to go for it but how". 
Jenny threw one arm around Buffy, "I think I have an idea. I just 
have to get Giles out of the library tomorrow night. Here is what you 
ought to do?