FIC: Wild one 15/?

["jend1205" <jend2002@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hey guys sorry it took so long to get this finished. I know that I 
left you all hanging but I couldn't help myself, hehe. Sorry I 
screwed up the other night, it was late and had a serious brain fart. 
Thanks again for all the great feedback. Jen


Author: Jen D
Disclaimer: I don't own just like it. 
Rating: G-R and all points between mostly language and violence
Pairing: Willow/ Buffy
Spoilers: I guess all of the shows this is A/U but some of it might 
come up.
Summery: A/U A different first season, different Willow.
Author notes: I am still working on Learning to live. Let me know if 
you think.



"Buffy I think we ought to talk", Willow started and began to pace 
the floor. Buffy could see the emotions playing through Willow's 
face, confusion, fear, and pain. 
"Willow, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make things more complicated for 
you. We can just forget about the things I said tonight."
"No, we can't. I can't forget and I don't want too. I-I hell I don't 
know. Buffy, I cared about someone once, not to long ago but to say 
it didn't work out is an understatement. I just have a hard time 
getting close to anybody. I don't understand this. What do you see in 
me? I'm really not someone you want to get involved with. I smoke too 
much, drink too much and do way to many drugs and my days not 
complete unless I find some kind of trouble to get into. My parents 
beat the shit out of me on a regular basis and I won't even get into 
what my stepfather did to me." Buffy turned away so that Willow 
wouldn't see the pain in her eyes at knowing what her father did to 
her. Willow walked over to the window and looked out, "Every part of 
my brain is screaming for me to walk away, to run as far as I can and 
not look back but I can't for some reason." Buffy jumped from the bed 
and spun Willow around, "Jenny told me something the other day about 
sometimes having to look at what's inside of your heart, not what 
your brain says." 
Willow began to laugh, "What heart? I haven't had one of those in a 
long time. I built walls around it a long time ago. I had to; I can't 
live my life without them. You told me that you wanted to protect me, 
Buffy. The thing is you can't, if it was vampires or demons then I 
could fight myself but it's not. My demons are closer to home then 
that. You want me to tear down the walls I built and I'm not sure if 
I can or want too. It hurts to much." Buffy felt her heart break at 
watching the woman she was falling in love with struggle to maintain 
her composure. Buffy wiped the tear that was falling down Willow 
cheek, "Will, honey, I just want to love you. I'm not asking for 
tomorrows or the next day. We both know that neither one of us may 
not have a tomorrow to worry about. I just want here and now and if 
that becomes the next day then so be it." Buffy leaned in and placed 
an exploring kiss on Willow lips. Willow didn't know how long that 
they stood in front of the window kissing but she was 
breathless, "Buffy, I can't change. I'm not going to give up doing 
the things I do, it helps sometimes to just get wasted. Xander can't 
handle it and I think I lost him. Can you handle it"?
"Will I'm not going to lie to you and tell you I like it but for now 
I'm not asking you to change. Remember here and now. Would I like you 
to see you give up the drinking and the drugs, of course I would, I 
don't want to see anything happen to you but for now I won't ask." 
Buffy knew that there would come a day that she would but she wasn't 
going to tell Willow now. She had meant what she had said about 
living for the here and now, maybe later when she got Willow out of 
the hellhole she called home, she could work on the on the drug 
issue. 
"So does that mean you'll give me a shot", Buffy asked. 
Willow gave Buffy a lopsided grin, "Maybe but only if you kiss me 
again". Buffy picked Willow up and began swinging her around. 
"Whoo hoo", she shouted and kissed her again. Joyce came bursting 
through the door welding a frying pan ready to fight whatever was 
making her daughter yell, "What the hell", but seeing the girls 
kissing she broke into a wide grin. Buffy looked at Willow and then 
her mom, "She said yes". Willow and Joyce looked at each other and 
giggled at Buffy's excitement