Re: FF Children of the Earth (10/10)

[PChazzman@xxxxxxx]

WillowX,
Congrats on finishing a very interesting and enjoyable story. I look forward 
to seeing more of your work in the future. I do have one comment on this 
last part, your use of the first person narrative became confusing when you 
switched back and forth throughout the story. The switching of POV's 
interupts the flow of the story, as the reader has to pause and think about 
whose POV they are now seeing thing through. If you use this in the future, 
you might want to start each new section with an indicator of whose POV the 
reader is interacting with, ie Willow's POV or <Willow's POV>, etc.

Chazzman