FIC: Making Plans (1/1) NC-17

["cnwinters71" <cnwinters@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Okay I don't have a Buffy beta reader so you'll have to bare with any 
problems you encounter<G>. Since you asked for it<G> here's an NC-17 
follow up to Making Sense...Enjoy!

Disclaimers: Mr. Whedon owns these characters. I'm just borrowing 
them for a little while.
Pairing: W/B
Rating: NC-17 (readers asked for a sequel to 'Making Sense' and 
something a little?hotter?Hope this passes.)
Distribution: My page http://cnscaldron.tripod.com
Author info: Like the story? Feed the bard! cnwinters@xxxxxxxxxxx
Synopsis: 10 years has passed since Willow outted herself to her 
friends and a desperate situation leads to a not so unexpected 
discovery for Willow and Buffy. This tale chronicles their first 
night together and 'the morning after' from Buffy's perceptions.

Making Plans
By CN Winters

For the first time in my life I'm making plans. How did this happen? 
And why is it starting to scare the hell out of me?

And how did I end up here? In her bed? In her arms? I want to stay 
and watch her sleeping but I've gotta leave. I've gotta get out of 
here. But go where? Home? I am home. Something inside, something I 
don't understand, tells me to run?as far and as fast as I can. But 
why do my fingertips brush her cheek even as I pull the covers to 
make my escape? None of this makes any sense. Not how I got here. Not 
how I want to stay and leave all at once. None of it.

I look to the clock and see we've only been asleep a few hours but 
I'm fully awake. I couldn't be more awake even if I was on a double 
mocha cappuccino high. Willow likes cappuccinos. I feel a sappy grin 
come to my face.

Okay Buffy shake it off. You need to deal here and deal quick. She'll 
be awake soon. I always figured it was just part of the Slayer skills 
I had ? the fact I was so in tune with her. I could read her from 
across a room without saying a word. I could feel her rise in the 
morning or when she finally fell asleep at night. But I know now it's 
something more, much more and as Giles might say it 'scares the 
bloody hell' out of me.

Giles?what would he say if he knew about last night? And Xander? And 
Dawn? Oh god, I'll have to tell Dawn. Sure she accepts Willow and 
loves her like a surrogate motherly/sisterly way for years but how 
would she handle me? I mean me with Willow? Together? A couple? How 
will she handle the fact that Willow and I are?are?lovers? How will 
all of them handle it? Why am I rambling in my head when I should be 
leaving?

I slip from the bed and go to my room. I don my robe when I hear the 
front door open and rush down stairs.

"Hey," Dawn says as she closes the door, carrying two garbage bags.

"What are you doing here?"

Dawn starts to grin. "Well I used to call this place home and today 
is laundry day but I can take my dirty clothes elsewhere-."

"I'm sorry. I forgot. I just didn't expect to see you today is all."

"No harm, no foul," she grins and walks back to the utility room. I 
look back up to the bedroom briefly before following her. I stand in 
the utility doorway as I watch her start the washer.

"Are you hungry?" I ask her.

"So who'ya hidin' upstairs?" Her cat that ate the canary grin 
unnerves me as she totally ignores the question.

"What makes you think anyone is upstairs?"

Dawn starts to chuckle as she loads in her clothes. "Oh I don't know? 
It's 10 am. You're still in bed. You don't seem to want me in the 
house. And you've got wild sex hair."

My hand shoots up to my head and I start to comb with my fingers. "I 
do not," I reply self-consciously.

"Uh huh," she nods, but knowing otherwise. "It's not another vampire, 
is it?" she asked. "Please say it's not another vampire."

"No it's not a vamp," I assure her.

"Good," she grins. I watch her close the lid and take a seat on top 
of the washer. "So tell me. Who is he?"

Okay, what do I do here? Do I lie and tell her she's imagining 
things? Do I tell her that there is someone but just not mention who? 
Or do I just blurt it right out?

"I'm telling you Dawn. There is no him. Okay?" Good answer. Honest. 
Okay, well, not so honest but not a complete lie either.

Dawn gives me a shrug. "Okay. So if I go upstairs I won't find some 
beefcake stud in your bed."

"Nope," I answer before adding, "I'm 'cake' free." 

Dawn hops off the washer and starts to separate the clothes in her 
other bag. I know I've got to tell her the truth. I've got to say 
something. "Can I ask you a question?" I begin.

"Sure."

"What do you think of Willow?"

"You mean Mamma Willow, kinda like Daddy Warbucks? The one who's 
paying my way through grad school?"

"That would be the one."

"I love Willow, Buff. You know that. Why are you ask-?" I watch her 
stop sorting. She looks up at me as her jaw starts to drop and I have 
to look away. "Oh?my?god?You didn't!?Oh my god you did!" Dawn tackles 
me into a hug and I can't help but grin in reaction. "This is so 
cool! And about damn time!"

"Thank you?" I'm not sure how to respond.

"So tell me, how long as this been going on?"

I purse my lips. "Since last night."

"Last night?! Is she in your bed right now?"

"No she's in her bed," I reply.

Dawn pauses a moment in thought. "Her bed? You mean you went to her? 
Gee we'll have to give you a new title ? Buffy: the Wicca 
Seductress." She starts to chuckle but I can't join in and she senses 
it. "So what's the problem? Not as much as you expected?"

What a loaded question that is. "Well no, actually. It was more than 
I expected? which is what worries me."

"Worries? Buffy what do you have to be worried about? This is 
wonderful. Willow is a great person and you spent years trying to 
find someone that's?you know?on your level in someway and?now don't 
take offense?someone who's you know?normal. Just forget the fact she 
makes six digits a year, has a kick ass car and a gorgeous, cutie 
smile," Dawn starts to grin again and yet again I can't join 
in. "Come on Buffy?.What's the matter?"

"I'm not sure?I was lying in bed after I woke up - just watching her?
and I started to think?things."

"What kind of things?"

"Like what we're going to do for the holidays. I mean, I do the 
Christmas thing and she does the Hanukkah thing."

"Buffy, we do the same thing we've done every year for the last ten 
years. We put up the menorah and the Christmas tree. We make dradles 
for the kids at the synogue and take food down to the homeless 
shelter for Christmas dinner. I'm failing to see the problem here?"

"Yeah well what about summer vacation?" I tell her. "I'm already 
thinking about where we could go. I was thinking about driving up to 
San Francisco with her, up the coast."

"Again, failing to see the problem."

"I never know from one week to the next what might happen to me, to 
us."

"None of us do Buffy?It's called life."

"Yeah, well, what about life?like life insurance and health 
insurance? I mean is she going to take care of those things and what 
if something happens to me. Will she get the house? Do I get an 
attorney? Or should I just sign half of it over now?"

"Buffy, slow down," Dawn chuckles. "Breathe, okay?" I give her a nod 
and take her advice. "Jesus you just spent your first night together. 
Wait until the sheets get cold to worry about that kind of stuff," 
she adds sarcastically. The girl's spent too many years around the 
scoobies and it shows. 

I nod again. But I can tell I'm not convincing her. I'm not 
convincing myself.

"Then again, I used to live in this house. I don't think Willow's 
sheets ever got cold," she adds with a chuckle.

Fail to find the humor and Dawn grows serious as a result.

"Look, I'm not sure how to say this?I love Willow. When you died, she 
and Tara were the only family I had left. Yeah Xander was around but?
they took care of me. They always made sure I had food. They always 
made sure I had clean clothes and warm place to sleep. Willow even 
started to sell off her computer stuff when money was getting tight. 
And Tara did Card readings at the magic shop and you know how she got 
around strangers. All shy and jittery. It was hell for her but she 
did it?for all of us?me too. And I have to admit, none of the girls 
that Willow's met since then would have done the same. They all 
seemed?I don't know?shallow?None of them compared to Tara. Not until 
now?Can I ask you something?" I nod. "Do you love her Buffy? I mean 
really love her?"

"Yes, I do." That answer is easy.

"Then don't worry about the other stuff. As long as you love her it 
will work itself out."

Finally I can grin. "So when did you get so smart?"

"Since I decided I'm going to spend the rest of my life going to 
college," she sighed.

That made me chuckle. "It won't be that much longer?Dr. Summers?It's 
has a nice ring to it you know?"

We hear a voice calling asking if anyone was home. I recognize it in 
an instant. It's Xander.

"Look Dawnie, let's keep this to ourselves," I whisper to Dawn. "I'm 
not ready to say anything yet okay?"

"Not ready to say what?" he asks as he comes into Dawn's view.

Damn it. I look to Dawn for help without turning around.

"I'm failing my racism and stereotypes class," Dawn says, looking 
over my shoulder to address Xander. "She's not sure how to break it 
to Willow."

I give Dawn a small grin. "But she's promised to pick her grades up 
by mid-term. Right young lady?" I had waving my finger at her. 
Quickly I turn back to Xander. "So what brings you out this early?"

"Things got pretty wild at the Red Oyster. Just wondered if the 'show 
went on' after I drop you two off last night," he teased, wiggling 
his eyebrows.

I stiffened immediately but almost as quickly I pushed it back 
down. "In ways you can't imagine," I grinned. Yet again it wasn't a 
lie but it wasn't exactly the truth. I'm sure Xander could imagine 
all kinds of things. Most of which I did last night. "If you'll 
excuse me I'm gonna head up stairs and get ready for the day. Juice 
is in the fridge," I add as I walk toward the living room. I hear 
Xander and Dawn start to talk and I pause at the landing. Okay I can 
do this. I can go back up there.

I make my way upstairs and I peer into Willow's room. As I open the 
door she stirs and reaches over. I can't help but grin as I watch her 
reaching for me. Slowly she opens her eyes and I make my way over to 
stand at the side of the bed. 

"Getting an early start?" she grins. She rises and comes to knell at 
the edge of the bed. As she does, the covers slip away to reveal her 
naked body. I have to catch my breath. It feels like I'm in a trance, 
hypnotized or something. I can't move. I can only watch as she pulls 
the sash loose on my robe, letting it fall open. I close my eyes and 
I remember. I remember what happened last night.

I asked her to show me how much she loved me. The grin she wore 
melted me to my center. She didn't say a word. I watched as she took 
off her socks first, tossing them aside. Next came the buttons of her 
jeans and a pool of denim on her floor. Her shirt covered most of her 
torso, ending just at the top of her thighs. 

"Are you okay?" she asked me as she started to undo the buttons of 
her blouse from bottom to top. 

I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't believe my eyes. The only touch 
of reality I still seemed to feel was the growing wetness between my 
legs. I waited anxiously for the shirt to slip past her shoulders 
but she kept it in place. She was totally nude underneath and I found 
myself licking my lips. She returned to me and placed her arms lazily 
on my shoulders, her fingers intertwining behind my neck.

"If it's too much too soon Buf, I won't hold it against you if you 
want to stop at any point. Okay?"

Stop? Why would I want to stop? I've waited years for this. I've 
waited years for you. Of course nothing that romantic passed my lips. 
I could only mutter, "I don't want to stop."

She grinned and with the lightest touch I ever felt she lifted my 
head back. I felt her tongue start at the base of my throat and 
travel all the way up until she placed a kiss on my chin. "Good," she 
whispered. "Because I really want to show you."

My head floated as I felt the butterfly kisses cover my neck and 
earlobe. I moaned. I know I moaned. I felt the rumble within myself 
and the growing wetness as a result. Suddenly I felt a chill and I 
opened my eyes. My blouse was gone. At some point she took it off. I 
was far too wrapped up in her lips to feel the garment freed from my 
body. 

"Do you trust me?"

"Completely," I answered. It was true.

She walked around behind me, her fingertips making a lazy trail 
across my bust line as she moved behind me. She gently pushed my hair 
to one side and started to kiss the top of my spine and back. 

"You've got beautiful shoulders." She paused for a moment to whisper 
in my ear. Next I felt her hands start at my waistband and work their 
way up and over my back and down my arms as my bra joined my blouse 
on the floor. When her hands came back up she took a path up my 
stomach, across my ribs and to my nipples. She pulled me tighter 
against her, and leaned her head over to whisper in my hair.

"I love the way your body reacts to my touch," she said softly.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't reply. All I could do was issue a moan. 
Suddenly my jeans were feeling way to restrictive and I reached for 
the buttons in haste. I heard a light chuckle behind me and I felt 
her hands cover mine.

"All in due time. I promise," she told me. 

"Yes but I'll be dead by then," I replied in frustration.

Her laugh was deeper and I felt her turn me back around. She examined 
my body. I felt naked before her. But instead of running or wanting 
to cover up I felt myself wanting to share everything. 

"Do you like what you see?" I asked. 

She simply nodded.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I couldn't play the passive. I took her 
shirt by the collar and pulled it down but I refused to let it drop. 
Instead I used it to snare her back and bring her into me. The kiss 
felt like an explosion. Her arms were trapped and I had her. I wanted 
her and she wanted me. I could tell. I could smell her arousal. I 
could feel her taunt nipples pressing into my own. I wanted to take 
her. Slow and easy wasn't enough. I had to have her. 

I broke away from her lips and started to kiss her earlobe. "I want 
you Will," I told her. "Let me take you. God please let me take you." 

Apparently Willow wasn't the only one in the room who could leave a 
woman speechless. She groaned, trying to catch her breath. "Give me 
your hand," she finally said softly. 

I released my hold and she immediately took my hand and together we 
started to undo the buttons on my jeans. She pulled them down and I 
stepped out. I waited for her return but instead of rising I watched 
and felt as her teeth and tongue nipped and stroked through my silk 
panties. Immediately my hand went to the back of her head, coaching 
her, praising her. I felt her hands work up my legs, with careful 
strokes. She pulled back and looked up into my eyes. 

"I can taste you through these," she said, letting the thin band snap 
against my hip as she pulled and released it. I felt my body quiver 
at the recoil of the elastic. "You taste divine."

My hand reached down and stroked her face. "Taste me some more. 
Please. Taste me Will."

She growled and I felt her grip me by my ass, bringing me into her 
mouth. Her nails dug into my flesh and I found myself gripping the 
back of her head, wanting more but enjoying the current game far too 
much to let it end yet. When her tongue eased over my shrouded 
clitoris I held my breath and she stopped. She looked up with a 
mischievous grin.

"I found it," she chuckled. Without delay she went immediately back 
to the spot. Releasing one of my cheeks, she used the hand to press 
the material tight against my skin as her tongue started to dance.

"Oh god Wills," I felt myself sigh. Reflexively my legs spread wider. 

"Oh that's it," she told me. I felt her voice rumble against my 
center.

That did it. I couldn't stand anymore and it took everything I had 
but I moved away from her. I collapsed on the bed, breathing hard 
with a raging fire inside me. My hands went down to my center and I 
pulled the panties from my body. 

She walked over with a grin and leaned over me. "I didn't say you 
could-."

She didn't finish the sentence. I grabbed her by the shirt and kissed 
her pulling her into the bed. I rolled her over with ease and held 
her arms above her head. I expected a protest but instead I felt her 
head rise up and her lips lay claim to my nipple that hung over her 
face. I released my hold, which was enough for her to get her arms 
back. She pulled my head back by burying her fingers into my hair and 
tugging. As a result I felt my cleavage protrude further, offering 
her more. God I never wanted anyone the way I wanted her at that 
moment. She owned me. I was hers and I had to prove it. I broke away 
and slid off the bed. Without wasting a moment, I threw both her legs 
over my shoulders. She tried half-heartedly to issue a protest but 
once she felt my tongue lapping at her it was put to rest. 

Instead she began to grind her hips against my face, making the 
noises I knew all to well. This house has thin walls. I could tell -  
she was close. It was just a matter of time. I pulled way slightly 
and let my fingers take over which resulted in a host of new sounds 
I'd never heard before. All of them were a godsend to my ears and put 
a smile on my glistening face.

"Inside," she whispered. "Please put your fingers inside me."

"You want me inside you?" I asked coyly.

"Please Buf. Please," she started to beg. 

I could never deny my Will.

My passion overrode my lack of experience but it's not as if I'm a 
total stranger to a woman's body. I've had a woman's body for years 
myself I figured. I knew how I like to be touched. So I gave Will 
what I thought she'd desire. I plunge two fingers inside her and I 
hear her sigh in relief and desire all at once, her bucking never 
stopping.

"Now your tongue," she strained, "Use your tongue too."

I did as she asked and it was just a matter of moments before the 
bucking stopped and her back arched, toes curled. I grinned. I made 
her toes curl. 

I didn't have much time to reflect though. I felt my body pulled back 
onto the bed and she propped me up so I was on all fours. She settled 
herself behind me and pulled us both up and into a knelling position. 
I watched as her hand snaked around, her fingers dragging through my 
wetness. I turned slightly and watched as she licked her fingers one 
by one, making satisfied noises. The result was a ragged sigh that I 
couldn't contain. She went back again and I felt myself reach around, 
grabbing hold of her head. This time instead of claiming my wetness 
for myself she painted my areola with it. I watched as her fingers 
made circles around the tip.

"Do you know why I did that?" she asked.

"It feels good?" I offered.

I felt her chuckle against me. "Oh it certainly feels good. No 
question about it. But that's not the reason."

She went back and did it again and I struggled to keep up the 
conversation. "Then why?"

"After I make you come and you're spent and I've licked every drop 
from you. All I have to do is suck on this nipple and taste you all 
over again."

I shuddered. She reached down and felt a new wetness had arrived. I 
never felt as wanton in my entire life.

"Wet again?" she asked as she stroked me. This time her hand didn't 
leave. Her fingers continued their maddening pace and I felt her 
other hand reach up to caress and squeeze my breasts. After a few 
moments I couldn't stay upright and I fell face first into the 
mattress. I started to rise but she kept me in place with a gentle 
hand on my back. "Even better," she whispered. 

She replaced her fingers with her tongue and when I felt her slip 
inside me I thought I might actually pass out. As she danced across 
my sex I felt her hands go to work, twisting my nipples as her tongue 
gave me a lashing I'd never forget. My own body began to move against 
her and I felt her take her lips away. I whimpered in protest but 
soon I felt three fingers plunged inside me as her other hand danced 
across my engorged clit. 

She took her hand away from my clit and I felt her move against my 
backside. The next sensation was her own wetness as she spread her 
lips across me. 

"Come on baby," I heard her call out. "Come on and buck for me again. 
Make me feel it Buf."

I honestly thought for a moment that my body might actually be on 
fire. But to tell the truth I didn't care. I felt her hands return to 
me and I was lost. I gave her exactly what she wanted. I could tell 
by her own cries above me, along with a list of obscenities she 
muttered that only made me wetter, she was on fire too. I'd had 
passionate nights over the years and although I thought I knew what 
fucking was all about I was sadly mistaken. Willow was fucking me. 
Good and hard. Fast and furious. I wanted it. I needed it and I found 
myself crying out for it as my body began to shake.

"Oh god Wills?Oh, don't stop until I come."

My words fueled her even more. Her arm had to be killing her at this 
point but she gave me everything I asked for. Everything I wanted. 
God, she always gave me everything? for years now. And finally she 
was showing me. That pushed me over the edge, the thought of her love 
and her devotion. I gripped the sheets as my orgasm tore through my 
body, rattling me to the core. Quickly I felt Willow stop and push 
between my legs. Her head nestled beneath me. She did just what she 
said she would. She drank from me making my body spasm even more with 
every delicate lick and suck she administered.

I couldn't stay upright. I rolled over and collapsed, trying to 
remember how to breathe. It was the most intense sexual experience I 
felt in my life. But it was more than that. I was in love. Truly in 
love.

I felt her come up and snuggle up to me. I couldn't get the stupid 
grin off my face. I looked over. I felt better to know I wasn't the 
only one wearing one. I reached out and stroked her cheek and I felt 
her go back to the nipple, the one she 'basted' earlier and suck on 
it tenderly. She made yummy sounds, which made me giggle for some 
reason. And when she came back to me I pushed her sweat soaked hair 
out of her face. 

"You're incredible," I told her.

"Any regrets?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah - why didn't I do this sooner?" I chuckled.

"Don't worry about then," she told me. "Just think about now. And 
now, we've got all night." I felt her begin to kiss my neck again and 
I just closed my eyes savoring the closeness.

But that was last night. Today was different and as I feel her 
snuggling into my neck I realize one component is different. I pull 
away and I get a wounded look. 

"Are you okay?" Willow asks, sensing my uneasiness.

"Dawn and Xander are downstairs. I came up to tell you before I got ? 
sidetracked." I look down and see my open robe and quickly I pull it 
together, retying it.

"Oh, I didn't hear them come in," she said rising from the bed, going 
to the back of the door to get her own robe. "Did you tell them about 
last night?"

"Dawn yes. Xander no." Come on Will. Say something here. Don't look 
at me that way. "I had to tell Dawn. She thought I had a guy up here."

"Nope, no guys up here," Willow grinned as she pulled me into her 
arms. "Just us grrls," she growls, as she nipped at my neck. Willow 
immediately feels me tense up at her touch. Slowly she pulls 
away?"Why do I have the overwhelming fear that this where you tell me 
last night was all a big mistake and we should stick to being 
friends?"

That is what I feel right now, isn't it? "Look Will, about last 
night?"

Willow waves me off. "Hey don't worry about it. I take women to bed 
like this all the time."

"Really?"

Willow gets a ridiculous look on her face. "No not really! I was 
being sarcastic! I happen to be in love here Buffy." I look to the 
door nervously and she reads it. "Oh don't worry," she says 
softer. "I won't say anything to Xander but I would like to know how 
to approach Dawn with all of this."

"I told her the truth," I begin. "I told her I'm scared. Okay? Is 
that so hard to understand?"

"Yes it is."

"That's what Dawn said too," I mutter.

Willow sighs and takes me by the hands leading me to the bed. We sit 
on the edge and she clears her throat. "Calmly. Rationally. What are 
you scared about? Did I frighten you with anything I did physically 
last night?"

"No," I answer feeling a blush creep up as I add, "I really liked it?
all of it?So no, that's not it."

Willow nods. "Okay. Do you think I'm going to hurt you in someway?"

"It's not about you Will. It's about me."

"What about you?" I don't know what to say. I don't know how I can 
explain it to Willow so she would understand. Hell, I didn't quite 
understand it myself yet. "Please?Talk to me," she adds when I say 
nothing.

"I'm not sure Will. I just?I got close and I freaked. You know how I 
get. I always feel like this when I get into something new. I 
shouldn't have to tell you this."

"Well yeah sometimes you do?Okay you always do?but this is 
different." Willow pauses a moment but starts to grin. "I think it's 
time to change masks for a moment." I watch as she gives a slight 
shake and resettles herself on the bed. "This new person in your 
life, how do you feel about her?"

I can't believe she's doing this ? playing the 'best friend' 
again. "This is crazy. You can't talk about yourself in the third 
person Will."

"She cute?" she says quickly. I watch as Willow's eyebrows go up and 
down mischievously and I have to grin. Willow sits cross-legged on 
the bed, situating her robe before patting the corner inviting me to 
sit down for a girl to girl talk. I realize that she is going to do 
this regardless of my protests so I might as well play along. 

"No she's not cute. She's beautiful. Inside and out." I tell her as I 
too take a similar position on the bed facing her.

"Rumor has it she's crazy about you."

"Did you get this from a reliable source?" I grin.

"Straight from the horse's mouth."

I chuckle and shake my head. The woman's insane but I love her 
anyway. "Well I'm crazy about her too. I'm just worried."

"Why does the thought of being with her worry you? Is it the whole 
gay issue because I gotta admit being straight is really overrated?"

"No it's nothing like that," I shake my head. "Well, maybe a little. 
I mean, I always identified myself as the straight girl in the group. 
Okay, the straight, 'normal' girl, despite the Slayer thing. Because 
you gotta admit, most of Xander's girlfriends are just plain weird on 
some level."

"Well let's evaluate for a moment. She's cute, you're crazy about 
her, you're not sure about the lesbian thing but you can work around 
it?"

"Yeah, that's about it."

"Well what else is there? What's got you spooked Buf?"

I get up and I start to pace. "I love her. I really do. And it's been 
ages since I really loved anything or anyone. Last time?last time was 
Angel?and that ended badly?I wanted something I would never have. And 
I think part of me feels that this will end the same way. But there's 
something else too?something that worries me?she loved someone years 
ago."

"Do you think she's still hanging onto them?"

"No?I mean I know she'll always have a special place in her heart but 
I think she's moved on? But after this woman died, things got a 
little?crazy for her?She didn't deal with the loss very well?I think 
part of me is worried about that too?You know being the Slayer means 
I face everyday knowing it could be my last. What happens if I die 
and she wigs out again?"

"Well you said that was some time ago right?"

"Yeah, around 8 years or so."

"Well, maybe she's older and wiser. Maybe she knows in advance what 
she's getting into and what's at stake? Maybe she realizes she's got 
responsibilities larger than her love life. Eight years is a long 
time - she's probably grown up since then. Why don't you give her a 
little credit?"

"I just don't want to make plans with her and have them unfulfilled. 
I think that's really it deep down. I don't want to make her promise 
I might not live to keep."

Willow gives me a half-grin. "I think we figured it out," she tells 
me. The best friend is gone now, replaced with the new lover she's 
become. She gets off the bed and pulls me into a hug. Something let's 
loose inside me and I feel myself start to cry. The last 24 hours 
have been a roller coaster of sorts. 

"Buffy listen to me okay?" she whispers into my ear as she continues 
to hold me. "It's okay to make plans. It's okay to look to the 
future. And I promise, I swear on your mother's grave, I won't get 
all veiny should anything happen to you, okay?" She pulls make slight 
and I wipe my eyes giving her a nod. "I know the risks going into 
this. I do. I accept them. I just wish that you could accept them 
too. I mean?do you think you could try? Because I really want to 
build a life with you?Or I should say, I want to continue building 
the life we have because truth be known?we've already been doing it 
for years?We're just finally opening our eyes to all the 
possibilities of co-habitation," she grins. 

I pull her into another embrace. "I really love you Will."

"Kinda convenient," she smiles. "Because I really love you too."

I gave a sigh before squaring my shoulders. "Ready to go downstairs 
and tell Xander?"

"No."

I look at her obviously confused.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for all the lewd jokes this morning that 
an outright confession will bring. Let's just act natural - New 
natural, not 'old' natural. See what he says. You said Dawn knows 
right? If I kiss you we won't give the girl a heart attack?"

"Dawn was almost doing cartwheels when I told her," I explain with a 
grin.

"Good, I'm glad. I wasn't sure how she'd take it? I don't care about 
too many peoples opinions but I did care about hers so that's good to 
hear?Okay, shall we?" Willow says opening the door.

I walk over and I give her the lightest of kisses. As I pull back, I 
stroke her face. "Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?"

"For showing me last night," I grin bashfully before continuing. "For 
having the courage to love me. For showing me it's okay to look 
forward to tomorrow. I don't think you realize how much I truly love 
you."

"Oh I realize," Willow grins. "And believe me, you can show me all 
over again tonight."

"Dawn was right. Your sheets don't get cold."

"What?! That little twerp."

I can only laugh as we leave the room.

The End