RoundRobin: Chapter 13 - Stefan

["Jude" <AmberBensonFan@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Rising From The Wreckage
Chapter 13
Stefan Akerblom

Tara pressed the mouse button and the laptop made a barely audible 
chime as the Outgoing Email folder again said 0. She looked around at 
the faces around her and saw nervous smiles that returned her own. 
She could feel Buffy on her shoulders, strong hands squeezing softly. 
She turned back to the computer and logged it off the net and shut it 
down.

"Now, I g ... guess we wait." she said quietly, and stretched 
languorously. Hers had been the last email to be sent. Paper and pen 
hadn't worked, she'd worn out a large notepad trying to say a few 
simple words. Hoping against hope, she'd clicked the 'send' button, 
and pushed her heartfelt little electronic package through the net to 
arrive in a few moments on Willow's laptop in Los Angeles.

"Yeah, I suppose we'll have to wait and see what she does." Xander 
murmured softly, running his hands tiredly through his unruly hair. 
Anya stood leaning up against the table next to him, inspecting a 
dress enthusiastically in a magazine, apparently unconcerned.

Dawn stood silent and hugged herself closely, her eyes rimmed with 
red.

"I just hope she doesn't take too long." Giles muttered quietly. "God 
only knows how little time we have." Buffy began talking.

"Well we knew that. And prophecy or no prophecy, it's still her 
decision Giles, we can't force ..."

"Decisions be damned!" Giles snapped, pulling the glasses away from 
his face suddenly, his brows drawn down in a look that belied his 
inner turmoil. "Do you think we have a choice in this? We are talking 
about the ap..." Buffy raised her hands in defiance.

"ENOUGH!" Giles blinked like a startled owl caught in torchlight, 
Buffy's loud and violent outburst catching him off balance, silencing 
his own tirade. "Enough Giles. I know this means the end of the world 
if we can't make this happen, it always does!" She ran her hands 
through the hair at her temples. "It's all we EVER do! But I'm so 
sick and tired of all the demons and monsters, and all the ... all 
this ... why can't they just leave us alone ..." Tara suddenly stood 
up and took Buffy in her arms, holding her close, stroking the back 
of Buffy's head, not caring that the Scoobies were giving them more 
and more looks of concern. The sobbed words suddenly disappeared for 
Buffy, the anger bled away, Tara's arms around her seemed to still 
the ragged and frayed nerves, forever on the point of shredding to 
pieces. Looking around the group, Tara shooed them away silently so 
she could comfort the slayer who was resting her head against Tara's 
shoulder. She led Buffy to the edge of the bed and sat her down, 
folding her own dress behind her knees as she sat down beside her, 
incongruous black leather boots underneath the ruffled dress. She 
pulled the slayer against her again, and she seemed to melt into her 
arms. The feeling both disconcerted the wiccan, and excited her in a 
way she hadn't felt in quite a while. Buffy wailed quietly.

"Oh Tara. We're meant to be fighting this ... this thing, this ... 
apocalypse beast guy and I don't know what the hell to do." Buffy 
sniffed into the ruffles of Tara's shirt. "We're supposed to drag 
Willow back from LA, and what ... against her will? I can't do that 
to her. I don't have that right, none of us do, no matter what Giles 
says, even if it's the end of the world. Willow must decide for 
herself if she wants us back, it's not about just us, it's her too. 
She has to want it." Tara cooed in her ear quietly and without 
thinking about it, kissed the top of Buffy's head.

"Hey I know, shh ... i ... it's ok Buffy, I know ..."

"No Tar, it's not ok, I want her back, but ... god I don't know ... 
I ... I'm scared ..." Tara clucked quietly to the slayer.

"W ... we're all scared Buffy, I mean ... a ... apocalypse, that's 
kinda final ... means a ... a lot of dying..." Buffy shok her head.

"No I don't mean that Tara, dying is easy ..." Buffy pulled away 
slightly and looked up into the witches' soft blue eyes with her own 
pale blue torment laden pools. Her voice sank to a barely audible 
whisper. "I ... I'm scared of ... of what I'm feeling."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"... please please please please ... come back to us, we love you so 
much, please we need ... "

Willow gulped and leaned back in her chair, absently reaching for the 
cup of tea without looking. The cup moved by itself across the table 
into her open hand and she grabbed the handle.

"Thanks Dennis." she mumbled absently, and raised the cup to her 
mouth to sip a mouthful, grimacing at the bitterness. She'd left it 
too long. She put the cup down, and stared at the screen again.

This was Dawnies email. She could feel the girl's heart drenching the 
text, and it floored her. After the well deserved slap in the face 
and the dressdown from Buffy, this was not what Willow had expected, 
Dawn to be begging her to return to Sunnydale. The same with Buffy's 
email although it had not been as filled with hugs and love, it had 
been like Buffy normally spoke, meaningful and almost funny, almost 
tactless at times but full of emotion. Giles' had been heartfelt but 
terse, something about a catastrophe and he hoped she was doing well. 
Xander's had been disjointed and she got the feeling he was sore at 
her, and again she understood why, she had walked away from them all. 
But Xander had been her closest friend since ... well since forever, 
he deserved more than her walking out on him, and she deserved to 
have him be sore at her. Anya's email had been funny in its complete 
lack of anything resembling tactfulness, but Willow got the 
impression the heart was in the right place when she wrote it. And 
then there was Tara's.

Willow closed Dawnies email and reopened Tara's again for at least 
the tenth time. It had made her heart constrict and her breath catch 
in her throat when she had first read it, it did the same now. It was 
short, the words simple, the meaning so powerful.

Willow.

I need you. Please come back.

T.

P.S. We can work things out.


'I need you - We can work things out' Willow breathed a huge sigh and 
blinked rapidly a few times, her eyes were misty and felt hot. She'd 
spent many tears over the emails already, and wasn't sure she 
wouldn't spend a few more. Cordy had left her alone while she'd read 
them, and again afterwards when she had left the red-head a cup of 
tea.

Willow pulled her bare feet up on the wooden chair and hugged her 
knees, leaning her head forward, her teeth digging uneven marks into 
the pale skin as she eyed the computer screen. Could Tara forgive 
her? Could she forgive Tara? They had both done some dumb things, 
this was a test to them both, to see whether they could weather this 
storm. but Tara had waved the first olive branch. 'We can work things 
out.'

Sighing to herself, Willow put her head down on her knees and sat 
quietly, she needed some more time, at least to think things through. 
Could she go back now, was she at peace enough with herself to 
return? Would they accept her if she DID return? Everyone's well 
wishing and pleas were enough to convince her of their sincerity but 
was she ready for it? She wanted to believe that she was, maybe it 
was time for her to return, there was always so much going on here 
even compared to Sunnydale. Not to mention the little fact of Wolfram 
and Hart trying to off her in a quiet parking lot. Maybe it really 
was time for her to move on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What are they doing in there?" Xander's hands were on his hips, he'd 
been pacing the floor. Giles sat in a chair and steepled his fingers 
in front of his face, his glasses in his lap. He spoke quietly, in a 
tired voice.

"Mending, dear boy. There's a lot of pain in that room, and they're 
trying to come to terms with it." Xander looked down on the watcher 
and thrust out a pointing finger.

"Yeah well I think that was more like moaning I heard than mending. I 
mean god, she's ... ewww ... with ... Spike, and now ... this? Why?" 
Giles smiled and sighed at Xander's outburst.

"Who are we to question why ..." he quietly intoned. Xander snapped.

"Aww nuts with the rhetoric, how come this godamned place drives 
every good looking chick to become ..." He drew himself up short and 
suddenly looked to Anya, eyes squinting in suspicion. Anya looked up 
from her magazine and blinked.

"What? What did I do now?" She frowned in exasperation. Before Xander 
could say anything, Dawn piped in with annoyance.

"Leave them alone Xander,they've done nothing wrong, they're allowed 
to be together, they're sad. It's understandable, they've both lost a 
lot, you ... do strange things when you're not happy, you do weird 
stuff if you're sad. I know, I did ..." she trailed off. Xander 
looked sheepishly at the teenager, then sighed and pulled her towards 
himself in a friendly hug.

"I know Dawnie, and we left you alone too, god how did this all get 
so twisted? We're the worst friends on earth to each other." Giles 
pulled out his handkerchief and began polishing his well worn 
spectacles. 

"On the contrary Xander, if you weren't such good friends, we'd all 
likely be dead by now." He put the glasses on and pocketed the 
handkerchief again.

Anya shrugged, muttering something almost inaudible and biting, and 
went back to reading the article she'd been trying to read for the 
last hour.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What ... what you're feeling?" The wiccan didn't pull away but she 
sure felt like it, she felt herself slowly sagging, wanting to 
distance herself, detach from the slayer's grip, and yet she wanted 
so much to hear what Buffy had to say, to see if it confirmed her 
suspicions. She maintained her hold on the slayer with soft hands on 
her strong shoulders. Buffy nodded and gulped.

"Yeah, I guess ... I guess I always have ... felt it I mean. But now 
its different, and I know why." Tara looked at the blonde and nodded 
slowly, licking her lips.

"I g ... guess we do." She said softly, her heart was sinking, now it 
looked like even if Willow did came back to her, she'd have another 
person to fight for her. Buffy looked at her quizzically, eyebrows 
drawn up in an arch.

"We do? I mean you do ... do what?" Tara sighed and smiled sadly.

"Know Buffy, I should have known it, seen it before. I should have 
felt it even before this happened. You were always her friend before 
me ... before I came on the scene." Buffy's eyes opened as dawning 
and half comprehension fought for supremacy on her face. Slowly her 
smile spread and her misty tear filled eyes glittered. She sniffed 
softly.

"Oh Tara, you're only half as clever sometimes as we all think you 
are." She drew the wiccan to her and squeezed her tightly, then 
kissed her cheek softly, and on the sudden spur of the moment, turned 
herself to face Tara, and letting go of her body and cupping Tara's 
soft warm beautiful face in her slayers hands, placed a soft but firm 
kiss on her lips.

Tara's heart almost leapt clear out of her chest with shock, her 
throat constricting with apprehension. But she didn't draw away, in 
fact she found the contact sensual, warm, loving, not crass or craven 
in any way, it was a kiss such as first time lovers might do, 
complete with the panic of something almost sinful. Tara's lips 
softened and she felt herself drawn into the kiss. Everything told 
her this was wrong, Buffy is the Slayer, she's not ... like this, 
she's ... that is to say she's not .... she is ... she's a girl, a 
lonely girl who bore the weight of the world on her slim but powerful 
shoulders every day. Tara brought her hands up and gripped Buffy's 
arms softly, warming to the kiss, deepening it and extending it. It 
was close mouthed, almost chaste, but it had started something, 
floodgates which were as yet untapped, emotions as yet unplumbed, 
something had happened here which couldn't be undone, and both girls 
thought almost exactly the same thoughts, they did not want this to 
be undone. They now shared something and it felt so very good. Buffy 
pulled away and turned a bright pink, Tara had turned a bright 
scarlet, and had let her hair hide her features so only one eye 
peeped out in embarrassment, but Buffy pulled her face up to look 
into her eyes, hands pushing her hair away. She spoke volumes in soft 
tones to the wiccan.

"We'll get her back Tara. for you, for me ... for all of us."

~~~~~~~~
RoundRobin website: www.megawitches.net/Story/RoundRobin/mwrr.htm